A Family's Guide To The Military For Dummies (ISBN 0470386975)

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A Family's Guide
to the Military
FOR

DUMmIES

‰

by Sheryl Garrett and Sue Hoppin
Foreword By Tanya Biank
Author of Army Wives

A Family's Guide
to the Military
FOR

DUMmIES

‰

A Family's Guide
to the Military
FOR

DUMmIES

‰

by Sheryl Garrett and Sue Hoppin
Foreword By Tanya Biank
Author of Army Wives

A Family’s Guide to the Military For Dummies®
Published by
Wiley Publishing, Inc.
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About the Authors
Sheryl Garrett, CFP and founder of The Garrett Planning Network, Inc., has
been dubbed “The All-American Planner,” possibly because of her zealous
mission to “help make competent, objective financial advice accessible to all
people.” Sheryl’s fresh approach as a financial advisor working with clients
on an hourly, as-needed, fee-only basis has evolved into an international
network of financial advisors, the Garrett Planning Network.
As a consumer advocate, Sheryl has been honored to work with the House
Subcommittee on Financial Services regarding predatory lending regulation,
financial literacy and Social Security reform. She also works as an expert
witness in lawsuits against financial advisors who rendered inappropriate
financial advice.
She has authored or served as a technical editor on over a dozen books and a
couple of monthly magazine columns. These books include Garrett’s Guide to
Financial Planning (National Underwriter), Just Give Me the Answer$ (Dearborn
Trade), Money Without Matrimony (Dearborn Trade), Personal Finance Workbook
For Dummies (Wiley), Investing in an Uncertain Economy For Dummies (Wiley), as
well as this book, A Family’s Guide to the Military For Dummies (Wiley).
As vocal advocate for financial education, Sheryl has been frequently
interviewed on CNNfn, Bloomberg, ABC World News Now, Fox-TV; NPR’s
All Things Considered and Marketplace; and in Business Week, Newsweek,
Time, Forbes, Kiplinger Personal Finance, Money, Smart Money, MarketWatch,
U.S. News & World Report, the New York Times, USA Today and the Wall
Street Journal. For four straight years Sheryl was recognized by Investment
Advisor magazine as “One of the Top 25 Most Influential People in Financial
Planning” and was honored by the National Association of Personal Financial
Advisors (NAPFA) honored Garrett with the prestigious Robert J. Underwood
Distinguished Service Award for her contributions to the development of the
financial planning profession.
Sue Hoppin is passionate about quality of life issues for military families
because she lives and understands the challenges of the military lifestyle.
Elements of her story are shared by any number of other military spouses.
She met her husband when he was attending the United States Air Force
Academy and finished school while he attended undergraduate pilot training.
The couple married shortly thereafter and a son followed. Their transient lifestyle, deployment schedules and other demands kept Sue at home with their
son while her husband deployed around the world.
Although she holds multiple degrees, it wasn’t until recently that Sue was
able to enter the work force. Before then, she served the military community as a volunteer. Her responsibilities ranged from squadron fundraiser
and spouse club membership chair to the presidency of both the Kadena
Officers’ Spouses’ Club and of the Ramstein Elementary School PTA. She

currently serves as the 2008–2009 President of the Air Force Officers Wives
Club at Bolling AFB. Sue was recognized for her volunteer efforts with awards
as Volunteer of the Year at McConnell AFB (1999) and as the 76th Airlift
Squadron Spouse of the Year (2002).
She joined the Benefits Information Department staff of Military Officers
Association of America in 2005 and quickly established herself as an expert in
military spouse issues. In 2006, Sue was selected to be MOAA’s first assistant
director for spouse outreach. In 2007, Military Spouse Magazine named Sue on
their 2007 Who’s Who of Military Spouses list recognizing 12 spouses who have
made significant contributions in the military community for all military spouses.
A tireless advocate for improving the lives of military spouses and families,
Sue is the consummate connector — bringing together government, corporate, and nonprofit organizations to meet spouses where they live and work.
She is the driving force behind the annual Spouse Symposium held in Norfolk,
VA that brings key legislative, spouse, community, and DoD leaders together
in an interactive forum to achieve real change for military spouses.
In addition to her work at MOAA, she writes a monthly column for Military
Spouse Magazine and serves as a member of the Board of Advisors for the
Military Spouse and Family Legacy Association.
Sue holds a bachelor’s degree in international studies from the University of
Denver and a master’s degree in international relations from the University of
Oklahoma.

Dedication
This book is dedicated to all of our military families. Your support and devotion
are essential to the mission, and we all know too well the sacrifices you make.
Our heartfelt thanks to you and your military member for your service to our
nation.

Authors’ Acknowledgments
From Sheryl: Because of the love and devotion of my family, staff , and colleagues in the Garrett Planning Network, I have the freedom and support to
carry out the mission of my life’s work, which involves helping to make competent, objective personal financial advice accessible to all people. But I have
a special place in my heart for military families and veterans. I am honored
to have been given the opportunity to do a little for those who do so much in
service to our country.
This project would not have been possible without the amazing talent and devotion of my co-author, Sue Hoppin. She taught me a lot more than she meant to,
I’m sure. I wouldn’t have got to know Sue without the most perfect introduction
from the energizer bunny himself, Phil Dyer, CFP, RLP. This book required the
talents of a lot of people. Sue and I needed one another and both of us relied on
Phil as our Technical Reviewer extraordinaire. We also had great support from
the folks at Wiley, specifically Mike Baker and Jennifer Connolly. Thanks for your
faith in us and for recognizing the need for this book.
From Sue: Without the love and support of my husband Kevin and my son
Garrett, writing this book would not have been possible. Balancing work and
writing the book, I missed out on endless regattas, other school events, and
any number of social activities with them. I can’t even count the number of
times they had to endure frozen dinners or take-out meals, so I thank them
from the bottom of my heart for being such good sports. They both really
picked up the slack and encouraged me when sometimes it just seemed like
too much. Between them and our amazing support system of friends and
family, no one could ask for better cheerleaders.
Thanks to Phil Dyer, my colleague, friend, and mentor who introduced me
to Sheryl Garrett and started us down the path of writing this book together.
Thanks to Sheryl for being such a pleasure to work with and for taking a
chance on me. You both had more faith in me than I sometimes had in myself.
Many thanks to Mike Baker, Jennifer Connolly and the other folks at Wiley
Publishing who made this experience such a tremendous one. Thank you for
allowing me the opportunity to create a product to benefit military spouses
and families.
There were some sections of this book that were difficult to write and
wouldn’t have resonated as well without the guidance of other people. Thank
you Phil for your expertise and DeDe for providing your insights.
A final thanks to my friends and fellow military spouses: Tanya Biank, Babette
Maxwell, Nicole Alcorn, Krista Wells, and Robin Prior whose words of encouragement remind me daily about all that is best about the military spouse
community. When we get it right, we really get it right — I cannot imagine a
greater group of friends or role models.

Publisher’s Acknowledgments
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Diane Graves Steele, Vice President and Publisher, Consumer Dummies
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Debbie Stailey, Director of Composition Services

Contents at a Glance
Foreword ....................................................................xxi
Introduction ................................................................ 1
Part I: Reporting for Duty ............................................ 7
Chapter 1: Living Life As a Military Family ..................................................................... 9
Chapter 2: Figuring Out Customs and Courtesies ....................................................... 19
Chapter 3: Getting Around Military Bases .................................................................... 31
Chapter 4: Connecting with the Military Community ................................................ 49

Part II: Understanding Your Financial Issues
and Benefits .............................................................. 59
Chapter 5: Deciphering Military Compensation .......................................................... 61
Chapter 6: Taking Care of Yourself: Health and Dental Insurance ............................ 73
Chapter 7: Maximizing Military Benefits ....................................................................... 87
Chapter 8: Starting Out on the Right Financial Foot ................................................... 97
Chapter 9: Building onto Your Financial Foundation ................................................ 113
Chapter 10: Housing Options for the Military Family ............................................... 131
Chapter 11: Finding Employment and Educational Opportunities.......................... 149

Part III: Supporting the Military Family .................... 165
Chapter 12: Raising a Family in the Military .............................................................. 167
Chapter 13: Maintaining Strong Military Couples .................................................... 179
Chapter 14: Tapping into Community Support ......................................................... 191
Chapter 15: Dealing with the Disability or Death of a Family Member ................... 205

Part IV: Mastering Deployments ............................... 217
Chapter 16: Prepping for Deployments....................................................................... 219
Chapter 17: Accessing Traditional Family Support ................................................... 239
Chapter 18: Helping Children Cope with the Absence of a Parent .......................... 247
Chapter 19: Keeping Connected with Your Loved One ............................................ 263

Part V: Transitioning Out of the Military ................... 271
Chapter 20: Separating from Service........................................................................... 273
Chapter 21: Retiring from Service ............................................................................... 283
Chapter 22: Exploring Subsequent Careers ................................................................ 293

Part VI: The Part of Tens .......................................... 305
Chapter 23: Ten Best Benefits for Military Spouses .................................................. 307
Chapter 24: Ten Biggest Financial Military Benefits ................................................ 311
Chapter 25: Ten Worst Scams Against Servicemembers.......................................... 317

Appendix: Military Acronyms ................................... 321
Index ...................................................................... 341

Table of Contents
Foreword.....................................................................xxi
Introduction ................................................................. 1
About This Book .............................................................................................. 1
Conventions Used in this Book ...................................................................... 2
Foolish Assumptions ....................................................................................... 2
How This Book is Organized .......................................................................... 3
Part I: Reporting for Duty ...................................................................... 3
Part II: Understanding Your Financial Issues and Benefits............... 3
Part III: Supporting the Military Family ............................................... 4
Part IV: Mastering Deployments .......................................................... 4
Part V: Transitioning Out of the Military ............................................ 4
Part VI: The Part of Tens ....................................................................... 4
Icons Used in This Book ................................................................................. 4
Where to Go from Here .................................................................................. 5

Part I: Reporting for Duty ............................................. 7
Chapter 1: Living Life As a Military Family . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .9
Getting a Grasp on the Military Culture........................................................ 9
Believing in something bigger than yourself ................................... 10
Making lifelong connections ............................................................... 10
Being Flexible — the Key to a Happy Military Life .................................... 12
Adjusting to different directions ........................................................ 12
Adapting to a changing homelife ....................................................... 13
Keeping education and employment flexible ................................... 13
Traveling the world . . . If you want to .............................................. 14
Overseas assignments ......................................................................... 14
Space-available travel.......................................................................... 14
Speaking in Code: Learning the Military Language ................................... 16
Embracing the Place Where Everybody Knows Your Name .................... 17
Choosing to Live on the Installation — Or Not .......................................... 17

Chapter 2: Figuring Out Customs and Courtesies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .19
Separating Myths from Reality .................................................................... 19
Understanding Rank and Military Hierarchy ............................................. 20
Checking out the different ranks ....................................................... 21
Understanding that rank does have its place .................................. 24
Reveling in the privileges of rank ...................................................... 24

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A Family’s Guide to the Military For Dummies
Keeping Up with Traditions and Ceremonies ........................................... 25
The salute ............................................................................................. 25
The National Anthem .......................................................................... 26
The Stars and Stripes .......................................................................... 26
Reveling in inter-service Rivalry ........................................................ 27
Ceremonies ........................................................................................... 27
Finding Your Place in the Grand Plan ......................................................... 28
Getting involved . . . or not ................................................................. 28
Making friends ...................................................................................... 29
Watching Your P’s and Q’s: Party Protocol ............................................... 29

Chapter 3: Getting Around Military Bases. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .31
Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System (DEERS) ...................... 31
Making sense of DEERS ....................................................................... 32
Registering in DEERS ........................................................................... 32
Verifying and updating information .................................................. 32
Making It Official — Getting a Military ID Card .......................................... 34
Getting Your Rest .......................................................................................... 35
Shopping ........................................................................................................ 36
Commissary .......................................................................................... 36
Exchanges ............................................................................................. 37
Shoppettes ............................................................................................ 38
Class 6 ................................................................................................... 39
Eating on the Installations ........................................................................... 39
The dining hall...................................................................................... 39
The clubs ............................................................................................. 40
Having Fun with MWR ................................................................................... 41
Fitness and sports center ................................................................... 41
Skills development center .................................................................. 41
Everything else ..................................................................................... 42
Focusing on the Family ................................................................................. 42
Family support center ......................................................................... 43
Child development center .................................................................. 43
Youth and teen centers ....................................................................... 44
Picking up on Personal Services .................................................................. 44
Auto hobby shop ................................................................................. 44
Banking .................................................................................................. 45
Military treatment facility (MTF) ....................................................... 45
Getting the Support You Need ..................................................................... 46
Chapel.................................................................................................... 46
Clubs and groups ................................................................................. 47
Family Advocacy Programs ................................................................ 48

Chapter 4: Connecting with the Military Community . . . . . . . . . . . . . .49
Connecting to the Unit .................................................................................. 49
Utilizing your sponsor ......................................................................... 50
Keeping contact info current.............................................................. 50
Staying in the loop ............................................................................... 51

Table of Contents
Marking military family milestones ................................................... 51
Attending Hails and Farewells ............................................................ 52
Discovering other social activities .................................................... 52
Making merry with holiday parties ................................................... 53
Understanding the ins and outs of Dining In and Out ..................... 54
Marking Military Milestones......................................................................... 55
Promotions ........................................................................................... 55
Change of command ........................................................................... 56
Retirement ceremonies ...................................................................... 56
Finding Support within the Installation ...................................................... 57

Part II: Understanding Your Financial Issues
and Benefits .............................................................. 59
Chapter 5: Deciphering Military Compensation. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .61
Sifting through Sources of Pay ..................................................................... 61
Basic pay ............................................................................................... 62
Additional pays .................................................................................... 62
Allowances ............................................................................................ 64
Taking time off — Leave...................................................................... 66
Demystifying the pay statement .................................................................. 67
Explaining the LES ............................................................................... 67
Allotments............................................................................................. 68
Making Sense Out of Taxes........................................................................... 70
Understanding what compensation is taxable ................................. 71
Exploring ways to reduce your tax bite ............................................ 72

Chapter 6: Taking Care of Yourself:
Health and Dental Insurance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .73
Exploring TRICARE ........................................................................................ 74
Breaking down the basic of TRICARE................................................ 74
TRICARE Standard ............................................................................... 75
TRICARE Extra ...................................................................................... 76
TRICARE Prime ..................................................................................... 77
Prescription drug coverage ................................................................ 80
Summarizing healthcare options ....................................................... 80
Enrolling in TRICARE ........................................................................... 81
Sizing up TRICARE Health Benefits for the Guard and Reserve .............. 82
Checking the basics of your options ................................................. 82
TRICARE Reserve Select...................................................................... 83
Understanding Dental Benefits .................................................................... 84
Explaining Your Benefits .............................................................................. 85

Chapter 7: Maximizing Military Benefits . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .87
Tapping into the Family Support Center .................................................... 87
Accessing Military OneSource ..................................................................... 88

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A Family’s Guide to the Military For Dummies
Traveling Space-A .......................................................................................... 88
Looking into Lodging Bargains .................................................................... 89
Protecting Your Rights — Legal Issues....................................................... 90
Getting the lowdown on the law ........................................................ 90
Finding legal assistance ...................................................................... 91
Reviewing Your Military-Provided Life Insurance ..................................... 92
Servicemembers’ group life insurance.............................................. 92
Traumatic SGLI ..................................................................................... 93
Family service group life insurance................................................... 94
Exploring Your Retirement Benefits ........................................................... 94
Finding out how retirement benefits are calculated ....................... 94

Chapter 8: Starting Out on the Right Financial Foot. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .97
Determining Your Required Monthly Expenses ........................................ 97
Making it automatic ............................................................................ 99
Establishing Emergency Reserves ............................................................. 100
Recognizing the reality of not having reserves .............................. 100
Reserving funds for financial emergencies ..................................... 100
Building and Maintaining a Solid Credit History ..................................... 101
Obtaining Appropriate Insurance Coverage ............................................ 102
Servicemember’s life insurance ....................................................... 102
Family member’s life insurance ....................................................... 103
Spousal disability insurance............................................................. 104
Homeowner’s or renter’s insurance ................................................ 104
Automobile insurance ....................................................................... 106
Beginning Investing ..................................................................................... 107
Investing according to your purpose .............................................. 107
Leveraging time .................................................................................. 108
Getting started ................................................................................... 109

Chapter 9: Building onto Your Financial Foundation. . . . . . . . . . . . . .113
Accumulating What You’ll Need for Specific Goals................................. 113
Purchasing a Home...................................................................................... 115
Determining how much you can spend on a house ..................... 115
Reviewing mortgages ........................................................................ 117
Coming up with your down payment .............................................. 118
Planning for Children’s College Costs ....................................................... 119
Securing Your Retirement .......................................................................... 121
Preparing for the Inevitable ....................................................................... 123
Answering key questions to get started ......................................... 124
Communicating your wishes through legal documents ............... 125
Accounting for ownership and beneficiary designations ............. 127

Chapter 10: Housing Options for the Military Family. . . . . . . . . . . . . .131
Understanding the Basic Allowance for Housing .................................... 131
Basic allowance for housing — CONUS .......................................... 132
Overseas housing allowance ............................................................ 133

Table of Contents
Considering On-Base Housing.................................................................... 134
Exploring Off-Base Housing ........................................................................ 135
Leasing .......................................................................................................... 136
Buying ........................................................................................................... 137
Tax benefits ........................................................................................ 137
Major considerations ........................................................................ 138
Buying versus renting ....................................................................... 139
Rehabbing a property ....................................................................... 140
Becoming an absentee landlord....................................................... 141
Evaluating your financing options ................................................... 142
Relocating ..................................................................................................... 145
Assessing relocation assistance ...................................................... 145
Establishing community at your new location............................... 146
Keeping in touch as you move around in the military .................. 147

Chapter 11: Finding Employment and Educational Opportunities . . . . 149
Professional Military Education ................................................................ 150
Finding Educational Funding...................................................................... 150
Montgomery GI Bill ........................................................................... 150
Post-9/11 GI Bill .................................................................................. 152
Tuition Assistance ............................................................................. 153
Scholarships and financial aid ......................................................... 153
Continuing Education for Spouses ............................................................ 154
Developing a plan that works ........................................................... 154
Tuition assistance programs ............................................................ 155
Finding Employment Opportunities for Military Spouses ...................... 155
Getting ready to work........................................................................ 156
Cost-benefit analysis of working outside the home ...................... 156
Strategic volunteering ....................................................................... 157
Employment support......................................................................... 158
Department of Defense and Department of Labor Initiatives ...... 159
Self-employment................................................................................. 160
Military spouse preference program............................................... 160
Putting it all together ........................................................................ 161
State initiatives to support military families .................................. 163

Part III: Supporting the Military Family ..................... 165
Chapter 12: Raising a Family in the Military . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .167
Finding Childcare ........................................................................................ 168
Occasional or part-time care ............................................................ 168
Comparing on-base vs. off-base options ......................................... 169
Educating the Kids ...................................................................................... 171
Making smart decisions .................................................................... 171
Department of Defense schools ....................................................... 172
Leaving the nest ................................................................................. 173

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Moving Around ............................................................................................ 174
Focusing on the positive ................................................................... 174
Joining in sports and recreational activities .................................. 175
Making sure that your kid’s best friend comes along ................... 176
Staying in touch ................................................................................. 177

Chapter 13: Maintaining Strong Military Couples . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .179
Communicating Effectively......................................................................... 180
Dealing with your long-distance relationship ................................ 180
Managing expectations ..................................................................... 182
Respecting one another .................................................................... 183
Unplugging ................................................................................................... 186
Accessing Help to Make Your Marriage Healthier .................................. 187
Divorcing ...................................................................................................... 187

Chapter 14: Tapping into Community Support . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .191
Starting at Square One ................................................................................ 191
Getting Support for the Guard and Reserve............................................. 192
Finding Support at the State Level ............................................................ 193
Supporting Military Families ..................................................................... 195
The United Service Organizations (USO)........................................ 195
Fisher House Foundation .................................................................. 196
Growing Grassroots Military Support ....................................................... 196
Checking out grassroots efforts ....................................................... 196
Getting to know America Supports You.......................................... 198
Searching the Web for Support.................................................................. 199
Connecting through online communities ....................................... 199
Burning up the airwaves ................................................................... 200
Tapping into The Military Coalition (TMC).............................................. 200
Discovering what TMC is all about .................................................. 201
Figuring out how you fit in ................................................................ 202

Chapter 15: Dealing with the Disability or
Death of a Family Member . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .205
Dealing with Disability ................................................................................ 205
Traumatic brain injuries ................................................................... 206
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) ........................................... 206
Medical review boards ...................................................................... 207
Medical retirement ............................................................................ 208
Veterans Administration benefits .................................................... 209
Other disability resources ................................................................ 209
Surviving the Death of a Servicemember ................................................. 210
Giving and receiving friendly support............................................. 210
Working with the Casualty Assistance Officer ............................... 211
Filing for benefits ............................................................................... 212
Understanding your military benefits ............................................. 213
Moving on ........................................................................................... 214

Table of Contents
Support groups .................................................................................. 214
Planning ahead ................................................................................... 215

Part IV: Mastering Deployments ................................ 217
Chapter 16: Prepping for Deployments. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .219
Separating the Truths from the Myths ..................................................... 219
Preparing for Deployment .......................................................................... 220
Powers of attorney ............................................................................ 221
Financial planning .............................................................................. 222
Taking Advantage of Special Deployment Benefits ................................. 225
Getting direct deposit ....................................................................... 225
Saving in the best plan available...................................................... 226
Receiving tax-free combat pay and benefits................................... 226
Ensuring reemployment: USERRA ................................................... 227
Understanding the Emotional Cycles of Deployment ............................. 227
Preparing for them to go ................................................................... 228
Creating walls before they leave ...................................................... 229
Establishing your new normal.......................................................... 230
Getting settled .................................................................................... 230
Anticipating their return ................................................................... 230
Coming back together as a family.................................................... 232
Finding your family groove again .................................................... 233
Smoothing out the rough spots ....................................................... 235
Managing Stress ........................................................................................... 236

Chapter 17: Accessing Traditional Family Support . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .239
Finding Support on Base............................................................................. 239
FSC — Family support center ........................................................... 239
Turning to faith-based solutions ...................................................... 241
Participating in Family Readiness Groups (FRG)........................... 241
Having some fun and giving back .................................................... 242
Getting Support Online ............................................................................... 243
Looking Outside the Fishbowl ................................................................... 245

Chapter 18: Helping Children Cope
with the Absence of a Parent. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .247
Understanding the Effects of Deployment on Children .......................... 247
Maintaining Routine .................................................................................... 248
Communicating ............................................................................................ 249
Encouraging open communication .................................................. 249
Explaining difficult topics ................................................................. 251
Managing Anxiety ........................................................................................ 252
Staying Involved from a Distance .............................................................. 253
Letting Kids be Kids .................................................................................... 254
Setting Realistic Expectations .................................................................... 254

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A Family’s Guide to the Military For Dummies
Looping in the Caregivers and Teachers .................................................. 255
Sharing Responsibilities ............................................................................. 256
Seeing the Light at the End of the Tunnel ................................................ 257
Getting Away ................................................................................................ 258
Taking some time off ......................................................................... 258
Looking forward to a family vacation.............................................. 258
Bringing Daddy Back into the Fold ............................................................ 260

Chapter 19: Keeping Connected with Your Loved One . . . . . . . . . . . .263
Communicating Securely ............................................................................ 263
Using the Internet .............................................................................. 264
Making phone calls ............................................................................ 264
Sharing a Piece of Home ............................................................................. 265
Celebrating Special Occasions ................................................................... 266
Staying Connected ....................................................................................... 267
Managing Anxiety ........................................................................................ 268

Part V: Transitioning Out of the Military .................... 271
Chapter 20: Separating from Service . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .273
Preparing for Separation ............................................................................ 273
Transition assistance program ........................................................ 274
Getting your records in order .......................................................... 274
Relocating ........................................................................................... 275
Employment education and training ............................................... 275
Health insurance ................................................................................ 276
Pre-separation examinations ............................................................ 276
Life insurance ..................................................................................... 277
Retirement savings ............................................................................ 277
Legal assistance ................................................................................. 277
Clarifying Voluntary versus Involuntarily Separation from Service ..... 278
Administrative separation ................................................................ 278
Punitive discharge ............................................................................. 279
Considering Early Career Separation ........................................................ 280
Exploring Late Career Separation Issues .................................................. 281

Chapter 21: Retiring from Service . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .283
Assessing the Financial Benefits of Retiring from the Military .............. 283
Military retired pay ............................................................................ 283
Survivor Benefit Plan ......................................................................... 286
Medical Benefits........................................................................................... 287
Checking out your healthcare benefits ........................................... 288
Making the most of your military retiree benefits ......................... 288
Envisioning Life after the Military ............................................................. 289
Adjusting to the civilian world ......................................................... 289
Evaluating your need for additional retirement savings .............. 290

Table of Contents
Supplementing your retirement income ......................................... 291
Strategizing the best ways to save for ultimate retirement ........ 291

Chapter 22: Exploring Subsequent Careers. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .293
Transitioning from the Military ................................................................. 293
Planning for your next career........................................................... 293
Preparing for this transition ............................................................. 295
Tapping into military and community benefits ............................. 295
Evaluating Employer Benefits .................................................................... 297
Medical insurance .............................................................................. 297
Prescription drug coverage .............................................................. 299
Dental insurance ................................................................................ 299
Vision benefits .................................................................................... 299
Disability insurance — short term and long term ......................... 300
Long-term care insurance ................................................................. 300
Life insurance ..................................................................................... 301
Retirement plans ................................................................................ 302
Health savings accounts ................................................................... 303
Flexible spending plans ..................................................................... 303
Paid vacations and holidays ............................................................. 304
Overtime ............................................................................................. 304
Education assistance ......................................................................... 304

Part VI: The Part of Tens ........................................... 305
Chapter 23: Ten Best Benefits for Military Spouses . . . . . . . . . . . . . .307
Travel ........................................................................................................... 307
Education and Employment Assistance ................................................... 308
Healthcare .................................................................................................... 308
Commissary/Exchange ............................................................................... 308
Family Support Centers .............................................................................. 309
Free Professional and Personal Development ......................................... 309
Free Support and Assistance ..................................................................... 309
Discounts ...................................................................................................... 309
Recreating Yourself Every Few Years ....................................................... 310
Meeting Other Spouses ............................................................................... 310

Chapter 24: Ten Biggest Financial Military Benefits . . . . . . . . . . . . .311
Retirement Benefits ..................................................................................... 311
Survivor Benefit Plan................................................................................... 312
Healthcare .................................................................................................... 312
Housing ......................................................................................................... 313
Education ...................................................................................................... 313
Travel ............................................................................................................ 313
VA Loans ....................................................................................................... 314
Servicemembers Group Life Insurance..................................................... 314

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A Family’s Guide to the Military For Dummies
Legal Assistance .......................................................................................... 314
Family Support Center ................................................................................ 315

Chapter 25: Ten Worst Scams Against Servicemembers . . . . . . . . . .317
Sending Money to Injured Servicemembers ........................................... 317
Protecting Your Privacy ............................................................................. 318
Repairing Your Credit ................................................................................. 318
Falling for Get-Rich-Quick Schemes .......................................................... 318
Outsmarting the SBP ................................................................................... 319
Paying Too Much for Financial Advice ..................................................... 319
Investing a Tax Shelter inside of a Tax Shelter ........................................ 319
Investing in the New, New Thing ............................................................... 320
Hedging Your Risks with Gold or Oil ........................................................ 320
Considering Payday Loans ......................................................................... 320

Appendix: Military Acronyms .................................... 321
Index ....................................................................... 341

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Foreword

I

have always believed people are the heart and soul of our military and not
our whiz-bang technology and state-of-the-art weapons systems. It takes a
special group of people to put the nation’s families before their own families
and that is the sacrifice that deployed military members and their families
accept on behalf of all Americans.
With more than half of all service members married, A Family’s Guide to the
Military For Dummies is a necessary, timely, and important book. Sue Hoppin
and Sheryl Garrett have done a masterful job of making sense out of a gargantuan and daunting topic. Sue brings a spouse’s perspective, a writer’s touch,
and her years of experience as a leader and advocate for improving the lives
of military spouses and families, while Sheryl is the consummate consumer
advocate, having worked with Congress and the courts to stop predatory
lending practices, increase financial literacy, and reform Social Security.
Part reference guide, part practical advice, this gem of a book should be
required reading for every new recruit and military bride. Why? Because
the military is not just a job. It’s one of those few professions that has a lifelong impact on the entire family. Falling in love with and marrying a military
member requires accepting the military lifestyle — the memorable times, as
well as the hardships — as your own.
The military has come a long way in how it views families. The outdated
saying, “If the military wanted you to have a wife it would have issued you
one,” has been replaced with, “You enlist a service member, but re-enlist a
family.” In the last few years, military leaders have realized that maintaining
and retaining the force is linked to service members’ quality of life with their
families. “Quality of life” is a hot-button issue within the military community
and today’s military offers better resources and programs for families. But
making sense of it all when you are trying to figure out rank structure and
acronyms can be overwhelming for the uninitiated. A Family’s Guide to the
Military For Dummies is more than just a comprehensive guide to all things
military. It’s like a new friend taking you by the hand and showing you
the ropes, which is reason enough to give A Family’s Guide to the Military
For Dummies a 21-gun salute.
—Tanya Biank
Author of Army Wives, the basis for the hit Lifetime TV show of the same name

xxii

A Family’s Guide to the Military For Dummies

Introduction

D

o you feel like the military lifestyle should come with its own how-to
handbook full of tips and insights? Well, you’re not alone. Unless you
were born into a military family, going behind the gates of a military installation for the first time can seem somewhat daunting. But, it’s not meant to be.
Everything’s actually laid out to be as convenient as possible for the end
user — you. If it seems like you need some guidance, then don’t despair.
Maybe you just need a little guidance from someone who’s already been
there and done that.
We wrote this book to help you figure out the ins and outs of military life as
well as share with you financial insights that you may not always have ready
access to. When you’re living on a tight budget, it may not always seem
possible to save that emergency fund never mind the kids’ college fund, but
you’d be missing out. Our goal is to let you know that military life is entirely
compatible with financial stability.
We share some tips and information with you on concepts that will make you
look at saving and investing not as nice to do things, but rather as must do.
Remember that the sooner you get started, the more time you have to take
advantage of compounding interest. Maximizing your military benefits and
saving a little at a time will help you attain financial independence.
Along the way, you will meet other military spouses and family members
who will help you along your journey. But, if we can give you a head start by
sharing some information, then our time and effort was well spent.

About This Book
A Family’s Guide to the Military For Dummies is designed to share with you an
overview of the military lifestyle. You can discover everything from the traditions of the military to community resources available to support you. You’re
not likely going to read the book from cover to cover, but that’s alright.
We’ve written it so that each chapter is somewhat autonomous. As you’re
flipping around, you may see some references made to other chapters, but
they’re well marked. If you’re approaching utilizing this book as a reference,
then the index or Table of Contents will be invaluable to you. Refer to those
whenever you’re looking for a specific topic.

2

A Family’s Guide to the Military For Dummies
But, if you’re really curious about the military lifestyle, then by all means,
work through the book chapter by chapter. We’ve laid it out in a simplistic
and intuitive manner. In the beginning chapters, we start off with a beginner’s
look at the military and military infrastructure then progress on to more complex matters such as deployments and financial benefits. Use the information
as you need it.
If you find that this book just whets your appetite for more knowledge,
take advantage of the websites we provide and the other organizations and
resources we point to throughout the book. The great thing about the military is that there is no shortage of people and resources out there to assist
you on your journey. Buckle in and enjoy the ride!

Conventions Used in this Book
While writing this book, we used a few conventions throughout the pages in
order to make your life just a little bit easier. Here’s what you can expect:

 We use italics when we define a word or phrase that’s important to
understanding a topic. And when we get especially excited, we might
throw in some italics for extra emphasis.

 When you see text in bold, you can expect it to be either a step in a
numbered list or a key word in a bulleted list.

 All Web addresses appear in monofont.

 When this book was printed, some Web addresses may have needed to
break across two lines of text. If that happened, know that we haven’t
put in any characters (such as hyphens) to indicate a break. So, when
using one of these Web addresses, just type in exactly what you see in
this book or on the Cheat Sheet and ignore the line break.

Foolish Assumptions
Believe it or not, as we set out to write this book, we formed some preconceived ideas about you our dear reader. In order to provide the insights and
advice you need, we have made some assumptions about you:

 You’re either married to someone in the military or interested in the
information presented here.

 You’re curious enough to want to know the inside gouge (information)
on the military lifestyle.

Introduction

 You have access to the Internet. Although this isn’t a requirement,
access to the Internet will help you take advantage of the tips we share
regarding web resources.

 You’re interested in learning about your military and financial benefits
so that you can get your family on the road to financial independence.

 You want to know and take advantage of everything out there to help
you thrive within the military community while also helping you achieve
your own personal goals.

 You’re no idiot! In fact, you’re so smart that you realize that in order to
thrive in your military lifestyle, you need to know everything that’s out
there to support you and your family.

How This Book is Organized
A Family’s Guide to the Military for Dummies is organized into six parts touching on different aspects of the military lifestyle. Financial tidbits are woven
throughout.

Part I: Reporting for Duty
The military lifestyle can seem quite foreign to most newcomers. In these
chapters, you discover more about the basics. We take you on a quick tour
of a traditional military installation and learn more about the traditions that
make the military so unique.

Part II: Understanding Your Financial
Issues and Benefits
One of the greatest reasons to join the military is to enjoy the many financial and military benefits available to you and your family. Unfortunately,
many people are unfamiliar with their benefits and leave a lot on the table.
In this section, we discuss your basic pay and benefits as well as more complex topics such as home ownership and education. After you have a better
understanding, we introduce you to other benefits available to you outside of
the traditional military infrastructure.

3

4

A Family’s Guide to the Military For Dummies

Part III: Supporting the Military Family
Separations are a challenge to maintaining strong military families. Children
need to be incredibly resilient to thrive under the transient military lifestyle.
Fortunately, there are a number of systems in place to support military families. In this section, you’ll learn more about the resources out there available
to support you and your family.

Part IV: Mastering Deployments
As a novice at deployments, you might look around at the more “veteran”
families and think, “Wow, they really have it together.” The chapters found in
this section will help you understand all the stages of deployment as well as
how you can prepare more adequately.

Part V: Transitioning Out of the Military
Whether through separation or retirement, leaving the military can be potentially quite traumatic unless you understand the pay and benefits available
to you. This section will help you understand your transition benefits as well
as how to roll your military benefits into future employee compensation and
benefits packages.

Part VI: The Part of Tens
A hallmark of the For Dummies series, the Part of Tens highlights our top ten
lists for best benefits for military spouses, biggest financial military benefits,
and the ten worst scams against service members.

Icons Used in This Book
As you flip through this book, you’ll see a lot of icons, which are there to
draw your attention to specific issues or examples. Check them out:
This icon alerts you to common pitfalls and dangers that you must be on the
lookout for when managing your personal finances or simply moving along in
your military life.

Introduction

If you don’t read anything else, pay attention to this icon, which points out information we just had to stress because it is that important for you to consider.

If you’re looking for some inside information or a time-saving tool you can use
immediately, then the text marked by the Tip icon is what you want.

This icon gives you technical info that you don’t have to know to understand
the rest of the section, but we sure think it’s interesting to read about!

Where to Go from Here
If you’re a novice to the military lifestyle, start at the beginning. However, if
you’re at a different stage of life, go ahead and turn directly to that section
of the book. You’ll see parts dealing with everything from deployments, supporting military children to transitioning out of the military. You’ll be able to
find anything you’re looking for quite easily by referring to the index or table
of contents.
Remember: Don’t worry about reading this book from cover to cover (unless
you want to!). Use the bits and pieces as you need them. Every experience is
different, and our dearest hope is that you can find enough information and
guidance among these pages to provide some comfort and support to you.

5

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A Family’s Guide to the Military For Dummies

Part I:

Reporting for Duty

B

In this part . . .

efore you can embrace the military lifestyle, you
need to understand the basics. In this part, you’ll get
a primer on military protocol and traditions. You’ll also
learn the basics of what you can expect on a military
installation.

Chapter 1

Living Life As a Military Family
In This Chapter

 Becoming acquainted with military culture

 Maintaining flexibility

 Talking the talk

 Getting to know everyone

 Figuring out if living on the installation is for you

S

ome people believe that being in the military is no different than working for a major corporation with multiple outlets around the world. But
what corporation do you know requires all their employees to be available 24
hours a day, 7 days a week, and 365 days a year?
Military service is a demanding way of life and there are very few people
willing to sign on the dotted line and add themselves to the 1 percent of our
nation’s population that makes up this nation’s All Volunteer Force.
If your servicemember is part of this All Volunteer Force, welcome to the
club. Life in the military is wrought with its own challenges and rewards. But
success is 90 percent attitude. Throughout this chapter, we draw a broad picture of what sets military families apart from their civilian counterparts, talk
about some of the idiosyncrasies of the military, as well as let you know what
you can expect right off the bat.

Getting a Grasp on the Military Culture
The military certainly retains its own culture. When your servicemember
joins the military, you’re exposed to a tight-knit community of people supporting a cause greater than themselves and dealing with issues that the
average soccer mom would never encounter. In the sections that follow,
we help you understand the military culture by giving you an idea of why
servicemembers join and stay in the military as well as how connected you
become to your community.

10

Part I: Reporting for Duty

Believing in something
bigger than yourself
Ask 100 people why they chose to join the military and you’ll probably get
about 100 different answers that might include travel, thrills, opportunities,
money, and benefits. For those of us with wanderlust, the promise of travel
still serves to lure some to military service. Certainly with the temporary
duties (TDYs/TADs) and opportunities to be stationed overseas at exotic
locations, wanting to see the world is as good a reason to join the military as
any other. There are also some thrill seekers who are drawn to the military
by the promise of adventure and tough challenges that only jumping out of
airplanes or landing on an aircraft carrier can deliver.
Many choose service as a way of upholding family tradition. For some, it’s all
they know. If they’re military brats, they may loath to imagine any other life.
Others are looking for job security or opportunities to learn new skills and
better themselves. The benefits of the Montgomery GI Bill (MGIB) still draw
people looking for a way to finance a college education. Although there are
definite financial benefits to military service, not too many people are going
to say that they did it solely for the money. So what keeps people in through
the deployments, family separations, and constant moves? Simply said, that
belief in something bigger than themselves. Ask 100 people why they chose
to stay in the military and you’ll probably only get a handful of answers that
include honor, pride, and a desire to serve their country. The decision your
servicemember made to join the military means that you are now part of this
great tradition.

Making lifelong connections
The military seems to draw together a diverse group of people from all walks
of life. However, that common bond of believing in something bigger than
yourself ensures that you already have a strong tie to the friends you make in
the military.
You’d think that the constant moving would guarantee that you are forever
saying goodbye to friends and starting over again. To a certain extent, that’s
true; but in the military, you never say goodbye, just “hope to see you again
soon.” With a finite number of installations you can be stationed to, chances
are good that over the years, you’ll keep running into some of the same
people over and over again.
Don’t burn bridges because you never know when you’ll run into that annoying soccer mom again somewhere down the road.

Chapter 1: Living Life As a Military Family
Civilian friendships are forged over shared experiences such as attending the
same schools, vacationing in the same places, and living in the same small
town for your entire life. The military’s not so different. Think of a culture
where you all move in the same circles. Even though you’ll move from base
to base, you stand the likelihood of living in the same towns (although at
different times), vacationing in the same military hot spots, and going to the
same base schools. Your best friends become those who served with you
on the PTA board, the mother of your son’s best friend, or your neighbor on
base who watches your kids so you can get a haircut or make a commissary
run without your screaming toddler in tow.
So what’s different about the military? Well, some of your best friends will
also be the ones who help you weather that second, fourth, and fifth deployment. The ones you call at 3 a.m. because the news just reported some casualties in the field. They’re the ones who babysit your kids who are running
a 101 degree temperature when you can least afford to miss another day of
work. They are the same people who cry with you because your spouse is
passed over for a promotion or rejoice with you because he or she is chosen
for one. They understand without words what you are going through because
they have walked in your shoes. Your military friends become an extended
family and these are relationships that you will come to count on throughout
your time in the military.
Like everything else worth having, these lifelong connections need to be
nurtured. There are certain things you can do to develop and maintain these
strong connections:
 Meet the other families in your unit or squadron.
 Get involved.
 Be there for your friends and recognize when they might need some
extra care and attention.
 Stay in touch.
 Share your milestones (such as promotions, graduations, and new additions to the family).
 Make the effort to send change of address cards.
 Send those annual holiday cards and letters.
 Follow the golden rule: Always write in pencil.

11

12

Part I: Reporting for Duty

Being Flexible — the Key to
a Happy Military Life
If you’re the type of person who likes to control your surroundings, you’re
going to have to let that go. After your servicemember joins the military,
you’re no longer in charge of your life. Of course, you still have some input,
but ultimately, your life is out of your hands.
With all the things you can’t control, you may find it easy to start thinking
that you have become an unwitting pawn in someone else’s life. Don’t get
sucked into that mentality. True, military life demands that you look at things
from a different perspective than civilian life. Moving every 2 to 4 years gives
you an opportunity to recreate yourself every time. Think of the opportunities you can have that others can only dream of. While your civilian friends
can only look at pictures of the great works of art, you can visit them in Paris,
London, or Florence. Your friends at home learn a second language in an academic setting while you have the opportunity to immerse yourself in other
cultures and languages. You get the idea — it’s all in the perspective. Rather
than lamenting about how the military limits your choices, start thinking
about how it broadens your horizons.
In the sections that follow, we give you some advice on how to control the
things you can control and let go of the other stuff . . . for now. Maintaining
a good outlook ensures that you will be open to opportunities that present
themselves.

Adjusting to different directions
So you may be thinking that your servicemember is given orders, you follow
them, and that’s that. Well, that’s just the beginning. A lot can happen
between being given an order and preparing for it. Be prepared to adjust to
situations, such as the following examples:
 Just when you think you’re headed to Hawaii on assignment and begin
dreaming of Mai tais on the beach, a change in orders occurs and you’re
headed to Iceland — start dreaming about geysers and five-foot snow drifts!
 Your servicemember deployed in the last year and is not due to deploy
again for another year, but the needs of the service prevail and you learn
that he or she’s scheduled to be on the next plane out for another rotation.
In the military, nothing is carved in stone.

Chapter 1: Living Life As a Military Family

Adapting to a changing homelife
You need to be flexible with your home as well. With bases spread out across
the United States and overseas, imagine all the different floor plans you
can look forward to. One assignment you might be living in a 1,500-squarefoot ranch-style home and the next assignment, your same family could
be expected to fit into a 900-square-foot apartment-style home. That gorgeous, comfortable overstuffed couch that seemed like such a great idea in
Oklahoma might be a little less so when it won’t fit into your little apartment
in Japan. And the ceiling to floor drapes that were to die for in your German
house with the tall ceilings, huge windows, and great light may not be as
attractive in Florida when you’re having to drill into cinderblock to hang
them and then once you get them hung up, they block out all the natural light
coming in through those teeny tiny hurricane-friendly windows.
Regardless of how well you might plan, none of your furniture will fit into
the parade of houses you’ll ultimately live in throughout a military career. At
least, not necessarily into the rooms they were intended for. More than a few
military families have had to live with a sideboard in the bedroom because
that’s the only place it would fit. And there’s nothing stranger than seeing a
huge, ornate crystal chandelier from Prague hanging in the foyer of a prefab
base home in Grand Forks, North Dakota. As a fellow military spouse, you
quickly learn to ignore these anomalies and sympathize with the need to
adapt and make do.

Keeping education and
employment flexible
The need to remain flexible is nowhere more evident than in spouse employment and education. There has been many a spouse who started a bachelor’s
degree at one institution only to finally graduate seven years and four different universities later. And what military spouse doesn’t have numerous gaps
in his or her résumé with a strange and seemingly unrelated range of jobs
held over the years? The desire to create a life for yourself and the need to
balance it with your servicemember’s military service is a challenge that has
faced military spouses throughout the years. More information on military
spouse employment and education can be found in Chapter 11.
Unlike a lot of your civilian friends, you don’t have the luxury of sticking
around to finish your degree or work to climb the corporate ladder and build
seniority. But think of it this way: How many other people get the opportunity to meet people from all different walks of life, travel around the United
States, and possibly live in a foreign country?

13

14

Part I: Reporting for Duty

Traveling the world . . . If you want to
Join the military, see the world. This is still true. Depending on how adventurous you are, you can see as much or as little of the world as you want to.
Some people will spend their entire career in the continental United States.
Others will grab any chance they can to travel. In this section, we tell you
how, between overseas assignments and space available (Space-A) seating on
military flights, opportunities to see the world abound.

Overseas assignments
If you’ve ever been curious about other countries and are offered an overseas assignment, seize the opportunity. You’ll never get a better chance to
immerse yourself in another culture. The greatest thing about being stationed overseas with the military is that you have all the benefits of living in a
foreign country with a security blanket. Regardless of what foreign locale you
may be stationed to, as soon as you make it back on base, the rules change,
and you’re back in Little America. Back to the familiar fast-food outlets,
commissary, and exchange (more about these in Chapter 4). What could be
better than the adventure of living overseas with all the comforts of home?

Space-available travel
If you want to see the world and aren’t fortunate enough to be stationed
overseas, take advantage of your Space-A (space-available) benefits. Forget
reading just about riding in a gondola in the canals of Venice or gazing at the
geishas in old Kyoto. With some time and research, you can soon be on your
way to traveling there for next to nothing.
Space-available travel is one of the greatest privileges extended to servicemembers and their dependents. The premise is simple, if there are extra
seats available on the military aircraft flying around official cargo and personnel, and if the crew is not restricted by mission constraints, extra available
seats are released to space-available travelers.
There are six categories of Space-A travelers, and seats are allocated by
descending order with Category 1 (CAT-1) being the highest and Category 6
(CAT-6) being the lowest. Within the categories, passengers compete based
on how long they have been registered in the Space-A system for seats on the
flight.

Chapter 1: Living Life As a Military Family
Space-A flights are unreliable and should only be attempted by people who
have a lot of time and flexibility. At any given moment, a flight might be terminated without notice and you may have to purchase a commercial ticket back.
In other words, if your sister’s getting married Wednesday on the west coast
and you have to be back on the east coast by Saturday, Space-A is not your
best option. However, given enough time, Space-A travel is a great and
affordable way to see the world.
To address the questions of who’s eligible and how Space-A travel works,
check out the most up-to-date information on the Air Mobility Command fact
sheet: http://www.amc.af.mil/questions/topic.asp?id=380.
In addition to the official information, there are entire books and Web sites
dedicated to the ins and outs of Space-A travel, but here are some basic
things to remember:
 Space-A travelers can register up to 60 days before their desired date of
travel.
 Military personnel need to be on leave orders to register for Space-A.
 Although there is no cost in travelling on a military aircraft, there are
some costs associated with traveling on a commercially-contracted
airplane.
 If your flight has multiple legs, you can get bumped off at any time.
 Show times for military flights have a way of changing based on the
needs of the mission, and there is no obligation to notify Space-A travelers of these changes, so stay close to the terminal or at least check in
frequently for updates.
 While large Air Force terminals are your best bets, virtually any U.S.
Navy, Army, or Marine airfield will also have Space-A flights.
 Travel light because different aircraft have different baggage restrictions. With a small plane like the C-21, you may be limited to 30 pounds
of luggage.
 Travel with ample cash or credit cards because you never know how
long you’ll be out and food and lodging at some locations can really add
up. Besides, you never know when you’ll have to shell out cash for a
return ticket home.

15

16

Part I: Reporting for Duty

Speaking in Code: Learning
the Military Language
So what does it mean when you’re telling your family and friends about your
impending move and they’re looking at you like you’ve grown three heads?
Stop wondering — you’ve become the latest victim of speaking in military
colloquialisms and acronyms. Don’t worry: Everyone is guilty of it.
Even though you may resist the necessity of learning a second language,
eventually, your hand is forced. You try to maintain English as your preferred
language, but you find yourself unable to converse with your peers because
you don’t speak the same language. So, at first you find yourself peppering
your conversations with military lingo here and there, but then one day, you
find out that you sound just like everyone else:
 A move isn’t just a move, it becomes a PCS (permanent change of station).
 A DITY is when you do the move yourself — so DITY literally means
“do it yourself.” And you thought some craft group thought that one up,
huh?
 An installation becomes a base, a post, a station, or a camp, depending
on the service and the size.
 TDY or TAD is another word for a temporary duty away from the home
station.
 You’re no longer stopping at Giant or Safeway on the way home; you’re
doing a commissary run.
 When your sister asks what you’re doing tomorrow, you tell her that you
have an OSC board meeting and can’t miss it because you’re in charge of
Scholarships. You tell her that you can’t stop by earlier in the day because
your DH is going TDY and you’ve got to stop at the seamstress on base
because you had earlier dropped off his new ABUs to have the Velcro sewn
on. And after that, you’ve got to stop by the shoppette to pick up some hot
sauce because there’s never enough Tabasco in the MREs.
These acronyms and lingo all sound logical unless you’re on the outside.
To the uninitiated outsider, you’re speaking a foreign language. But don’t
fret. After a few years, your sister will pick up that you have an Officers
Spouses Club board meeting and can’t miss it because you’re in charge of
the Scholarship program for the club. You can’t stop by earlier in the day
because your Darling Husband has Temporary Duty away from his home
base and you’ve got to stop at the seamstress on base because you had earlier dropped off his new Airman Battle Uniform to have the Velcro sewn on.
And after that, you’ve got to stop by the small convenience store on base to
pick up some hot sauce because there’s never enough hot sauce in the Meals
Ready to Eat (rations they get in the field).

Chapter 1: Living Life As a Military Family
Your sister may now understand you, but just when you think you’ve got the
lingo down perfectly, your DH is given a joint assignment (with a different
service) and you realize that the language doesn’t translate from service to
service. Army does not speak Navy; Navy does not speak Air Force; Air Force
does not speak Marine, and so on and so on. Just when you think you’re getting ahead, you’re back at square one! Don’t worry about it: Everyone is in the
same boat. Even though there is a movement afoot to think “purple” (terms
and programs that transcend all services), each branch of service likes its own
service idiosyncrasies. So just embrace your service’s culture and language
freely. Once you understand the natives, you’ll begin to settle in.

Embracing the Place Where Everybody
Knows Your Name
Forget keeping up with the Joneses. The military is a great equalizer. When
everyone wears uniforms, shops at the same stores, belongs to the same
clubs, sends their kids to the same schools, and shows up at the same
hospital, keeping up with the Joneses tends to be a nonissue.
Better yet, not only are you all doing the same things, but at parties, you know
everyone, and if you don’t, everyone wears nametags! Imagine it, no more pregnant pauses or awkward silences because you can’t remember the name of the
guy who’s walking toward you with an expectant look on his face. One quick
glance at the nametag and you’re back in business. What could be better?
And it still gets better: How about an additional patch that makes it easy to
identify the other people in your unit? It doesn’t even matter if you know
them; that kinship of being in the same unit is an automatic icebreaker. No
more wondering about a person’s name and no more hunting for something
in common with someone. The military boosts your social quotient, and you
don’t even need to develop any additional skills!

Choosing to Live on the
Installation — Or Not
Living behind the fences of a military installation provides a fair amount of
comfort to many people. In addition to living in a guarded, gated community,
you’re living among your peers, people who understand exactly what you’re
going through. In a traditional neighborhood, people come from all walks of
life and work in different career fields. Neighborhoods on a military installation
take the term “cookie cutter” to an all new level. While the types of homes may
vary, every person in those homes has the same employer — Uncle Sam.

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Part I: Reporting for Duty
People choose to live on base for one or more of the following reasons:
 You can save money. You have no out-of-pocket expenses associated
with living on base:
• Utilities are covered.
• The installation or privatized housing contractor takes care of
maintenance issues that arise.
 You have ready access to resources and services. Some of the greatest
benefits are attached to brick and mortar buildings on the installation.
Since most base housing is either on the base proper or at least very
close, the commissary, exchange, and hospital or clinic become much
more accessible (more about these services in Chapter 4).
 You find comfort being surrounded by other military families when
your servicemember is deployed. Because your neighbors understand
what you’re going through, they will invite you to dinner and watch your
kids in a pinch. Sometimes you’ll come home frazzled the day before
inspection to find that your lawn’s already been mowed because your
neighbor knew your husband was gone and did it while he was doing
his own. Everyone keeps an eye out for each other and that can be quite
comforting.
Of course, you have to do your part as well as in any community, civilian or
military:
 Residents are expected to maintain their quarters in an acceptable
manner that includes maintaining the lawn and taking care of routine
maintenance issues. Your installation housing office can give you the
specific parameters of what “acceptable manner” and “routine maintenance” mean as each base differs in its regulations and requirements.
 Standards are maintained through weekly inspections.
 Warnings can be issued for violations and, with enough warnings, you
can be kicked out of base housing.
On the flip side, some people choose not to live on base because of the
exact same reasons other people want to live on base. All that closeness and
support makes them feel like they’re living in a fishbowl. The lines between
your public and private lives fuzz a little and some people feel like they’re
never able to get away from work. For those reasons and more, many people
choose to live off base. Find out more about your other housing options in
Chapter 10.

Chapter 2

Figuring Out Customs and
Courtesies
In This Chapter

 Demystifying the stories you’ve heard

 Figuring out rank

 Understanding the culture and traditions

 Making sure you fit in and get connected

 Navigating the social scene

Y

ou’re probably coming into military life with all sorts of preconceived
notions and beliefs. Some may be grounded in reality, but we bet that
the majority of what you think you know about the military comes from
popular television shows or novels.
In this chapter we do what we can to separate the truth from the rumors and
help make you a little more comfortable with the military. In this chapter, we
help you understand rank, expectations, and the military hierarchy. We also
explore your servicemember’s place in the military structure and how that
affects you.

Separating Myths from Reality
As an outsider looking in, you may have heard some interesting stories about the
military. Now that you’re being welcomed into the fold, you need to take a little
time to separate the myths from the realities of military life. And we do just that
in this section so that you can get a more realistic view of your new life.

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Part I: Reporting for Duty
Below we give you some of the more common myths circulating out there
regarding the military. Jumping into this new lifestyle, we suggest that you
take the blinders off and figure out the lay of the land. Part of this exercise
involves letting go of some of your preconceived notions and learning about
some of the things that make the military lifestyle so special. Get your reality
check from the following list:
Myth: Officers are better educated than enlisted troops.
Reality: It is true that all officers do have bachelor’s degrees and will
often have to obtain master’s degrees or doctorates to progress to the
higher ranks, but nearly 75 percent of enlisted troops also have some
level of college education or experience. So rank is not necessarily a good
indication of education or socioeconomic background.
Myth: People join the military because they get in trouble with the law
and have to choose between going to jail and joining the military.
Reality: Actually, you could say the exact opposite is true. Brushes with
the law could serve to disqualify people from military service.
Myth: Military spouses hold the same rank as their servicemember
spouse and are accorded all due honors and respect.
Reality: Good manners require that you should be polite to everyone, but
military spouses do not hold any rank — unless they are also
servicemembers, of course.
Myth: The military encourages groupthink and all servicemembers are
automatons.
Reality: Military members are representative of American society at
large. They are as diverse a population as any other.

Understanding Rank and
Military Hierarchy
Okay, we admit it: Rank can seem a bit overwhelming, but that’s where
we come in. In the following sections we give you the details of rank in all
branches and describe who does what and where they came from. If you
have a general knowledge of rank and the structure and basically understand
who falls where, you can get along just fine and pick up the rest on an as-youneed-to-know basis.

Chapter 2: Figuring Out Customs and Courtesies

Checking out the different ranks
As you start to navigate the military lifestyle, you naturally begin to wonder
how the uniforms correspond to rank. At first you feel like you’re trying to
read signs in a whole other language: You know the symbols should mean
something, but you can’t understand the code. Well, don’t worry. We not
only unlock the code for you in this section, but we also give you the info you
need to navigate your way through rank and its nuances.
Regardless of the branch of service, you’ll run into two types of rank: officer
rank (see Figure 2-1) and enlisted rank (see Figure 2-2). But each type of rank
looks different, depending on the branch of service. Figures 2-1 and 2-2 can
help you sort it all out.
Okay, so your head may spinning with all of these symbols, but before you
throw your hands up in frustration, take heart. Despite all of the differences,
the following list shows you some commonalities that exist across the services:
 E stands for enlisted. When people enlist, they generally come in as an
E-1. However, based on other discriminating factors such as completion
of certain academic requirements, troops can receive advanced pay
grade status up to E-4 when they enlist.
 W stands for warrant officer. Warrant officers are highly trained specialists, are not required to have college degrees (although many of them
do), and outrank all enlisted personnel. Warrant officers hold their warrants from their service secretary. After warrant officers are promoted
to chief warrant officer 2, they receive a commission from the President.
The Air Force has no warrant officers.
 O stands for commissioned officer. Commissioned officers are the
highest rank in the military. They hold presidential commissions and
their ranks are confirmed by the Senate.
There are two types of officers:
• Line: Line Officers are those in combat and support specialties.
• Nonline: Nonline officers are noncombat specialists, such as chaplains, lawyers, doctors, and nurses. Most officers start off as an O-1;
however, the nonline officers level of expertise in their fields may
earn them a higher starting rank. Nonline officers cannot command
combat troops.

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Part I: Reporting for Duty
ARMY

Second
First
Lieutenant Lieutenant
(2LT)
(1LT)

Captain
(CPT)

Major
(MAJ)

Lieutenant
Colonal
(LTC)

Colonal
(COL)

Brigadier
General
(BG)

Major
General
(MG)

Lieutenant
General
(LTG)

General
(GEN)

Brigadier
General
(BGen)

Major
General
(MajGen)

Lieutenant
General
(LtGen)

General
(Gen)

Vice
Admiral
(VADM)

Admiral
(ADM)

Lieutenant
General
(Lt Gen)

General
(Gen)

Vice
Admiral
(VADM)

Admiral
(ADM)

MARINES

Second
First
Lieutenant Lieutenant
(2ndLt)
(1stLt)

Captain
(Capt)

Major
(Maj)

Lieutenant
Colonel
(LtCol)

Colonel
(Col)

NAVY

Ensign
(ENS)

Lieutenant
Lieutenant
Commander
Lieutenant
Junior Grade
Commander
(CDR)
(LT)
(LTJG)
(LCDR)

Captain
(CAPT)

Rear Admiral Rear Admiral
Lower Half Upper Half
(RADM)(L) (RADM)(U)

AIR FORCE

Second
First
Lieutenant Lieutenant
(2d Lt)
(1st Lt)

Captain
(Capt)

Major
(Maj)

Lieutenant
Colonal
(Lt Col)

Colonal
(Col)

Brigadier
General
(Brig Gen)

Major
General
(Maj Gen)

COAST GUARD

Figure 2-1:
Officer
ranks.

Ensign
(ENS)

Lieutenant
Lieutenant
Commander
Lieutenant
Junior Grade
Commander
(CDR)
(LT)
(LTJG)
(LCDR)

Captain
(CAPT)

Rear Admiral Rear Admiral
Lower Half Upper Half
(RADM)(L) (RADM)(U)

Fleet
Admiral
(FADM)

Chapter 2: Figuring Out Customs and Courtesies
ARMY
no
insignia

Corporal
(CPL)

Private
Private E-1 Private E-2 First Class Specialist Sergeant
(PFC)
(SPC)
(PV1)
(PV2)
(SGT)

Staff
Sergeant
(SSC)

Staff
First Class
(SFC)

Master
First
Sergeant Sergeant
(MSG) (1SG)

Master
First
Sergeant Sergeant
(MSG)
(1SG)

Sergeant
Major of
the Arms
(SMJ)

MARINES
no
insignia
Master
Private
(Pvt)

Private
First
(PFC)

Lance
Corporal
(LCpl)

Corporal
(Cpt)

Sergeant
(Sgt)

Staff
Sergeant
(SSgt)

Gunnery
Sergeant
(GySgt)

Gunnery
Master
First
Sergeant Sergeant Sergeant
(MSgt) (1stSgt) (MGySgt)

Sergeant
Sergeant Major of
Major Marine Corps
(SgtMaj)
(SgtMaj)

NAVY
no
insignia

Seaman
Seaman
Recruit Apprentice Seaman
(SN)
(SR)
(SA)

Petty Officer Petty Officer Petty Officer
Third Class Second Class First Class
(PO3)
(PO2)
(PO1)

Chief
Petty Officer
(CPO)

Master
Force or Fleet
Chief Petty Command Master
Officer Chief Petty Officer
(MCPO) (FORMC) (FLTMC)

Senior Chief
Petty Officer
(SCPO)

Master Chief
Petty Officer
of the Navy
(MCPO)

AIR FORCE
no
insignia

Airman
Basic
(AB)

Airman
(Amn)

Airman
First Class
(A1C)

Senior
Airman
(SrA)

Staff
Sergeant
(TSgt)

Technical
Sergeant
(TSgt)

Master
Sergeant
(MSgt)

First
Sergeant
(E-7)

Senior
Master
First
Sergeant Sergeant
(SMSgt)
(E-8)

Chief Master

Chief
Command
Master
First Chief Master Sergeant
Sergeant Sergeant Sergeant the Air Force
(CMSgt)
(E-9)
(CCM)
(CMS)

COAST GUARD

Seaman
Seaman
Recruit Apprentice Seaman
(SN)
(SR)
(SA)

WARRANT
W-1

Warrant Officer
(WO1)

Figure 2-2:
Enlisted
ranks.

W-2

Petty Officer Petty Officer Petty Officer
Third Class Second Class First Class
(PO1)
(PO3)
(PO2)

ARMY
W-3

Chief
Petty Officer
(CPO)

WARRANT
W-4

W-5

Chief Warrant Officer Chief Warrant Officer Chief Warrant Officer Chief Warrant Officer
(CW2)
(CW3)
(CW4)
(CW5)

Warrant Officer
(WO)

W-2

W-3

Command
Master
Chief
(CMC)

NAVY
W-3

W-4

USN Chief Warrant
Officer 2 (CW02)

USN Chief Warrant
Officer 3 (CW03)

USN Chief Warrant
Officer 4 (CW04)

COAST GUARD
W-4

W-5

Warrant Chief Officer Chief Warrant Officer Chief Warrant Officer Chief Warrant Officer
(CWO2)
(CWO3)
(CWO4)
(CWO5)

Master Chief
Petty Officer
of the
Coast Guard
(MCPO)

W-2

MARINES
W-1

Master
Chief Petty
Officer
(MCPO)

Senior Chief
Petty Officer
(SCPO)

W-2

W-3

UNCG Chief Warrant UNCG Chief Warrant
Officer 2 (CW02)
Officer 3 (CW03)

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Part I: Reporting for Duty
For officers, there are several different commissioning sources:
• Reserve Officers Training Corps (ROTC)
• Officers Training School (OTS)
• Officers Candidate School (OCS)
• United States Military Academy
• U.S. Air Force Academy
• U.S. Naval Academy
• U.S. Coast Guard Academy
• U.S. Merchant Marine Academy

Understanding that rank
does have its place
While military spouses carry no rank, common courtesies, such as the following
should prevail.
 Do not call an older spouse or a more senior spouse by their first name
until you are given permission to. (This goes for servicemembers as well.)
 As your servicemember rises in rank, you’re also expected to rise to the
occasion and to help or mentor those who are coming up behind you.
Whether you choose to accept this charge or not is up to you — as a
spouse, you can’t be told to do anything.
 After you’ve been around awhile, you may look around and find that
you have accumulated some young friends who are looking to you as a
role model. If they are struggling, they may be looking to you to provide
some insights and guidance on how to navigate the military lifestyle.

Reveling in the privileges of rank
Rank does have its privileges: better compensation, bigger houses, and one
of the best ones — special parking spots on base. The Air Force has recently
gone away from issuing base decals, and there is widespread belief that the
other services are not far behind.
Before you start gaming the system and wonder who might discover if you’re
parking in one of those good spots, remember that every car registered to an
installation has color-coded stickers delineating between enlisted, NCOs, and
officers.

Chapter 2: Figuring Out Customs and Courtesies

Dividing officer ranks even further
You might hear other categories used to delineate between the different officer ranks. Within
the officer ranks, O-1 to O-3 are called company grade officers in the Army, Air Force, and
Marine Corps. In the Navy, they are called junior
grade officers. O-4 to O-6 are called field grade

officers in the Army, Air Force, and Marine
Corps. In the Navy, they are called mid-grade
officer. O-7 to O-10 are called general officers
in the Army, Air Force, and Marine Corps. In the
Navy, they are referred to as flag officers.

Keeping Up with Traditions
and Ceremonies
The military is full of traditions and ceremonies. The traditions allow those
currently serving to connect to the warriors of the past to understand the
sacrifices others have made. Although the different service branches take traditions to different levels, they all have many of the basic traditions. It might
help for you to understand some of these traditions and ceremonies that will
now become second nature to your servicemember.

The salute
There is no tradition more integral to military life than the salute. To outsiders, it might be mindboggling the number of times a servicemember has
to salute over the course of a day, so here are some inside tips to help you
understand when, where, and why. To this day, rendering a salute is representative of honor, trust, and respect. Today’s salute is an extension of raising your visor. The following list gives some general guidelines for saluting,
geared to servicemembers:
 Salute while outdoors.
 Do not salute in no-hat/no-salute areas.
 Normally, enlisted members salute officers, both commissioned and
warrant.
 Lower ranking officers also salute higher ranking officers.
Nonservicemembers do not salute.

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Part I: Reporting for Duty

Sorting through origins of the salute
While no one is really sure about the origin of
the salute, legend has it that in medieval times,
the right hand or “weapon hand” was raised
as a greeting of friendship. It also served to
show that the person was not brandishing any
weapons. Tradition also held that the “inferior”
person initiate the salute.

Another popular belief is that the origins of the
salute stemmed back to when knights were all
mounted and wore steel armor. The armor covered the body completely, so when two friendly
knights met it was customary for each to raise
his visor with his right hand (the left one being
used to hold onto the reins) and expose his face
to the view of the other.

The National Anthem
To military families, nothing inspires pride quite like the playing of “The Star
Spangled Banner.” If you go to a movie on base, the National Anthem is even
played prior to the movie and everyone in attendance (including children) is
expected to know and observe proper etiquette.
During the playing of the National Anthem:
 Those in uniform should stand at attention and salute the flag from the
first note until the last note is played.
 Everyone not in uniform should face the flag and hold their right hands
over their hearts.
 Those not in uniform but wearing hats should take their hats off with
their right hands and hold it over their left shoulders, their hands over
their hearts.
One of the things that you will notice about a military crowd is that regardless
of the age of the child, every family member knows and exercises proper etiquette during the playing of the National Anthem. Children know to maintain
decorum and not fidget. Don’t embarrass yourself. Teach your children the
correct protocol.

The Stars and Stripes
There is no greater symbol of the strength and patriotism of the United States
than our flag. Twice a day on a military installation, that flag is honored with
reveille and retreat.

Chapter 2: Figuring Out Customs and Courtesies
 Reveille takes place every morning around sunrise when the flag is
unfolded and ceremoniously displayed. It’s hoisted up the flag pole
while “To the Colors” plays.
 The retreat ceremony is at the end of the duty day. The flag is
ceremoniously lowered, folded, and put away while the National Anthem
plays.
When you hear the music play:
 You need to stop where you stand, face the direction of the flag, and
stand at attention while the songs are playing.
 Uniformed military members should salute until the music ends.
 Those members not in uniform should stand at attention.
 If you are driving in a car on base while the music is playing, you are
required to stop your car in quiet observance until the final note is played.

Reveling in inter-service Rivalry
Each of the services has its own idiosyncrasies and people choose their
branch of service because certain cultures or traditions appeal to them. As
an extension of this, servicemembers and families thinks that their service is
better than the other. This belief manifests itself in the jokes and anecdotes
that pervade military culture.
Some of the rivalries are steeped in traditions that stem back for more than
a century ago, such as the Army/Navy football rivalry. These are the types of
rivalries that tear families apart and make belligerent fools out of otherwise
rational people.
All kidding aside, these inter-service rivalries serve to build on culture and
pride in service. But, don’t let the nonsense and joking fool you — once there’s
a mission on the table, professionalism prevails and it doesn’t matter what
branch of service they’re in, servicemembers all work toward the common goal.

Ceremonies
Military milestones such as a Change of Command or a Retirement are observed
with formal ceremonies. These types of events, recognizing the contributions
and accomplishments of different members, serve an important purpose of
drawing the unit together and building esprit de corps (camaraderie within the
unit). You can find out more information on ceremonies in Chapter 4.

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Part I: Reporting for Duty
Other events that serve to build unit morale include the various military balls
and celebrations that you’ll be invited to attend, including Dining Outs and
Birthday balls. These events are integral to military and unit tradition. They
serve as ways to tie you to those who have gone before you and those who
will come after you. These ceremonies and celebrations provide a great environment for members of the unit to bond and socialize outside of the stressful work environment. It’s important for you to attend as many as you’re able
to. These moments are what set apart a military career from just any other
job. More information on military events is found in Chapter 4.

Finding Your Place in the Grand Plan
Unlike your spouse, you didn’t enlist in the military. This fact may leave you
feeling like you’re in limbo — your servicemember has plenty of things going
on, but you may be unsure of how you fit in. However, spouses are an important part of the military community, and the sections that follow explain to
you how to get connected and involved.

Getting involved . . . or not
You are free to pick and choose what activities to participate in. With over 60
percent of military spouses working outside the home, many spouses don’t
have time to take part in a lot of the activities, and they don’t necessarily
identify themselves as military spouses. For them, military service just happens to be their servicemember’s job.
If you choose to take that viewpoint, you’re missing out. While you may have
your own life in the civilian world, certain aspects of military life, such as
deployments and the transient lifestyle, are better addressed by experts on
the installation. No one can give better support and advice to you and identify more with your situation than other military spouses or support systems.
Of course, you can’t be told to do anything. So any involvement you choose to
have with your military community is purely voluntary on your part. However,
as your servicemember rises in the ranks, you may be expected to become
more involved in unit activities. You may be asked to take charge of some
events or aspects of the family support groups. Don’t view this as an invasion
of your privacy or as a mandate. While you’re always free to decline, be flattered that you were asked and view your involvement as opportunities worth
taking advantage of.

Chapter 2: Figuring Out Customs and Courtesies

Making friends
Military spouses carry no rank. As a civilian, you’re free to befriend whomever you wish. However, keep in mind that the fraternization rules are still
in place for the servicemembers. Given the fraternization rules, doing things
together as couples can be challenging (or impossible) between enlisted and
officer families.

Watching Your P’s and
Q’s: Party Protocol
Protocol sounds stuffy and may just make you think of rules, rules, rules.
But protocol simply lets you know what to expect and ensures that everyone
works off the same sheet of music.
Protocol covers just about everything in the military, including parties. And
the military loves to throw parties. Chances are good that you’ll be invited to
any number of social events. Some will be optional, but some will be mandatory for you to attend. Knowing what’s expected of you will help you master
any situation with ease and confidence.
Of course, you need to know what’s expected of you, so we give you some
good guidelines to follow in this list:
 Always RSVP to the phone number provided well before the deadline
even if you are unable to attend.
 Do not RSVP to people when you see them out and about because
they may not be focused on the event and may forget to annotate your
response.
 Do not bring extra guests.
 Do not bring children unless the invitation specifically states that children are allowed.
 For events held at someone’s home, never arrive early. People need the
time to get ready.
 If you know you’re going to be more than a few minutes late, call your
host or hostess a few days in advance and let them know.
 Follow the dress code.

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Part I: Reporting for Duty
 Bring a hostess gift to express your appreciation. The gift does not have
to be very extravagant. It can be anything from fresh flowers to a bottle
of wine or a box of chocolates.
 Always write a thank-you note. Although you should write a thank-you
note immediately following the event, it’s never too late to acknowledge
a kindness.
If issuing invitations yourself, make sure you let people know what the dress
code is. No one likes to be over- or underdressed.
Don’t be intimidated by the guidelines above. These guidelines should serve
you well. However, if you forgot them or get confused, just fall back on all
those lessons your mom taught you. Good manners will always prevail.

Chapter 3

Getting Around Military Bases
In This Chapter

 Stepping onto the installation

 Getting familiar with your new surroundings

 Finding a place to sleep

 Getting your shopping on

 Eating and finding entertainment and activities for all ages and interests

 Taking care of personal needs like banking and medical care

Y

our military life centers around military installations, also commonly
known as bases. You need to know what it takes to get onto the installation, what to expect once you get there, and how to find your way around. If
you’re already in the military and have access to your current military installation, you may not really know what goes on in all those buildings you see. This
chapter introduces you to the facilities that make up a military installation.

Defense Enrollment Eligibility
Reporting System (DEERS)
Do wish you could live a meaningful existence? We’re not talking about the
philosophical, existential notion of “I think, therefore I am” type of existence. In
the military, unless you’re registered in DEERS (Defense Enrollment Eligibility
Reporting System) you simply don’t exist. Servicemembers get automatically
enrolled, but before you can begin using your military benefits, you, too, need
to enroll in DEERS. But never fear! In the sections that follow, we give you all
the information you need to register, as well as update your info, in DEERS.
Plus, we let you in on what DEERS is and what it can do for you.

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Part I: Reporting for Duty

Making sense of DEERS
You probably know by now that the military loves acronyms, but we’ll bet you’d
like to know exactly what DEERS is and what good it does for you to register in
it. DEERS is simply a database of those people who are eligible for TRICARE.
After you register in DEERS, you can take advantage of the same benefits
your servicemember enjoys, such as:
 Getting a military ID
 Shopping at the base exchange
 Using military healthcare
 Gaining complete understanding of all military-related acronyms (okay,
so to really get this you need to check out the Appendix, but it’s okay to
dream!).

Registering in DEERS
To enroll, fill out a DD Form 1172 (an Application for Department of Defense
Common Access Card and DEERS Enrollment) for each eligible family member
and be prepared to provide two forms of identification, which need to include
one picture ID and one additional piece of supporting documentation such as
a marriage or birth certificate and/or Social Security numbers. DD Form 1172
can be found online at http://www.tricare.mil/mybenefit/Download/
Forms/dd1172-2.pdf.

Verifying and updating information
Only your servicemember can update your record in DEERS. Be sure you get
your record updated whenever you or your servicemember experiences a
significant life event including:
 Change in your servicemember’s status
• Retiring or separating from active duty
• National Guard or Reserve member activation or deactivation
 Change in your servicemember’s service status (i.e. enlisted to officer,
branch change)
 Change in marital status (married or divorced)
 Having a baby or adopting a child
 Change of address (moving for any reason)

Chapter 3: Getting Around Military Bases
Of course, we didn’t include every life event in this list, but you get the idea.
Anytime you or your servicemember experience a significant life event, update
DEERS within 30 days. If you don’t, you may experience a break in your benefits.
Your servicemember can verify and update DEERS in one of the following
ways:
 In person: To add or delete family members, servicemembers can visit
a local ID card office. They can locate an ID office nearby by visiting the
Rapids Site Locator at http://www.dmdc.osd.mil/rsl/owa/home.
They can search for the nearest office by ZIP code, city, or state. After
they have that information, they should call the office to verify its location
and business hours first before they venture out.
 By phone: Servicemembers can call the Defense Manpower Data Center
Support Office at 1-800-538-9552 (TTY/TDD for the deaf: 1-866-363-2883)
to update addresses, e-mail addresses, and phone numbers.
 By fax: Servicemembers can fax address, e-mail address, or phone
number changes to the Defense Manpower Data Center Support Office at
1-831-655-8317.
 By mail: Servicemembers can mail changes to the Defense Manpower
Data Center Support Office (ATTN: COA, 400 Gigling Road, Seaside, CA
93955-6771). They must also mail supporting documentation if they’re
adding or deleting a family member.
 Online: Servicemembers have two options for updating personal
information online:
• Visit the DEERS Web site (https://www.dmdc.osd.mil/appj/
address/indexAction.do): Follow the steps to update address,
e-mail address, and phone numbers.
• Via the Beneficiary Web Enrollment Web site: The site is linked
directly to the DEERS database, so when they update information via this portal, it not only updates DEERS, but also with your
regional contractor.
If your servicemember (commonly referred to as a sponsor) isn’t available,
authorized family members can update information in DEERS with a notarized
DD Form 1172 or a Power of Attorney (for more on the importance of filling
out this form or a Power of Attorney, see Chapter 9).

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Making It Official — Getting
a Military ID Card
After you register in DEERS (if you haven’t registered, see the section earlier in this chapter, “Registering in DEERS”), you should immediately visit
the Pass and ID office to get a military ID card. Military ID cards have to be
renewed every four years.
Because you can’t physically enter a military installation on your own without
a valid military ID card, you need to get an ID card if you fit one of the following
categories:
 The spouse of a servicemember
 A dependent child over the age of 10 and under the age of 21
 A dependent full-time student under the age of 23
After you know where you’re going, be sure to call ahead and verify the hours
of operation before venturing out. Some installations even have a phone
number you can call to get an anticipated wait time. Be prepared to bring the
necessary supporting documentation.
Every person requiring a military ID card has to be present at the ID office,
along with the servicemember (also called a sponsor). If the sponsor is
unavailable due to deployment or other reason, eligible family members can
still acquire military ID cards with a power of attorney. Refer to Chapter 9 for
more information on power of attorney forms.

Taking In the Town
If you have an ID card (if not, you need to check
out the section earlier in this chapter, “Making It
Official — Getting a Military ID Card”), you can
get through the installation’s gate on your own
and take a look around. To different degrees,
military installations are similar to self-sufficient
little towns. Like Any Small Town, USA, you can
find housing areas, dining options, shopping,
clubs, office buildings, and any number of other
businesses.

The people you see running around your “town”
are the military personnel and civilians who work
there, family members, and other vendors doing
business on the installation. Other than being a
gated community, you probably won’t find too
many differences between your installation and
the town that you grew up in. But to guide you
through it all, we’ve provided an overview of the
things you need to check out first.

Chapter 3: Getting Around Military Bases

Getting Your Rest
People need places to lay their heads, and military installations provide different types of housing to accommodate different people (refer to Chapter
10 for an in-depth review on housing options). The following list gives you an
idea of what to expect:
 Dorms and barracks: Some single servicemembers live in dorms and
barracks on base.
 Housing areas: For families, options range from high rises to single-family
homes, depending on the installation. The housing areas are laid out very
much like any other street and community you might see in your hometown and can include playgrounds, skate parks, and other amenities for
the residents.
 Billeting/Lodging facilities: Lodging facilities range from single rooms
to larger accommodations designed for families.
The larger accommodations are generally called temporary lodging facilities (TLFs). To get an idea of what these are like, imagine an extended
stay hotel. TLFs are meant to accommodate families and vary in size, but
typically have separate bedrooms, a complete kitchen, eating and living
area.
Military installations make lodging available to:
• Servicemembers visiting the installation on business
• Families pcs’ing (moving) in or out of the area: After families move
out of housing (whether on base or off), families in transit move into
TLFs on the installation while wrapping up their business and waiting for their impending moves. When pcs’ing, families could be in
residence at these TLFs for weeks on end, so the facilities tend to be
quite spacious, much like a moderately-sized apartment.
• Eligible leisure travelers: While installations give priority to those
on official business (like servicemembers on business or families
pcs’ing), eligible leisure travelers visiting the area can also make reservations at TLFs on a space-available basis. For more information,
you should consult the installation Lodging Office.
In many cosmopolitan areas, accommodations on the installations are at a
premium. Make sure your servicemember makes reservations as soon as he
has orders in hand. If the installation has no room available and gives you a
nonavailability slip, you need to reserve lodging somewhere that’s convenient
to where you’re doing business or plan on focusing your house hunting.

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Part I: Reporting for Duty

Shopping
What’s a town without some shopping options? Forget Giant, Safeway, and
Shopper’s Warehouse; you’ve got the commissary. And although you may
not have Penney’s, Sears, or Macy’s, you’ve got the exchange. If you’re feeling confused just read the sections that follow — we straighten you out with
descriptions of both as well as other places you may find on base to shop at.

Commissary
The Defense Commissary Agency or DeCA, as servicemembers commonly
call it, operates a chain of nearly 300 commissaries worldwide in support of
military personnel and their families. As an authorized user, you will be able
to purchase your groceries at cost plus 5 percent. The DeCA Web site boasts
that the average overall savings for patrons is 30 percent on your purchases
compared to other commercial grocery stores.
Commissaries come with their own idiosyncrasies, but just follow a few
simple rules of the road, and you can look like a seasoned pro in no time:
 Keep right. To maintain order, keep to the right while shopping in the
aisles. It is a military base, after all.
 Yield to uniformed personnel. During peak work hours, military in uniform
have priority at a number of the checkout stands.
 Be prepared to tip. The baggers helping you with your groceries work
strictly for tips. They bag your groceries, provide carry-out service, and
load your vehicle. You’re expected to tip for this service. Standard tipping
guidelines suggest that you tip 25¢ to 50¢ per bag.
 Tip even in the quick checkout lanes. Even if you go through the quick
checkout lanes, if a bagger handles your groceries, you’re still expected
to tip before you grab your bags and leave the store. At these lanes, the
baggers “help you out” by providing a tip jar as a reminder to tip before
you exit. Throw in some pocket change and be on your way.
Several times a year, the commissaries run case-lot sales, which are very
popular with young families and retirees alike. Commissaries advertise the
sale well in advance, so be on the lookout and mark your calendar. If you have
the storage space in your home, they’re a great time to stock up on nonperishable items and other things you use in bulk. Be prepared to invest a couple of
hours though, because as we mentioned before, these events are very popular
and well attended.

Chapter 3: Getting Around Military Bases
In case you’re one of those people who becomes easily overstimulated by the
plethora of sundry items available at grocery stores, take heart — outside of
a decent array of groceries, you won’t find too many extras at your commissary. While you can find candy and a limited selection of magazines at the
checkout stand, for cards, gifts, and other small items you might otherwise
find at a commercial grocery store, you have to go to the exchange.

Exchanges
All of the exchanges fall under one of four major systems: Army and Air Force
Exchange Service (AAFES), Navy Exchange Service Command (NEX), Marine
Corps Exchange (MCX), and the Coast Guard Exchange (CGX). Eligible
shoppers can shop at any of the exchanges, regardless of service affiliation.
Just as with the commissary, eligible shoppers are roughly defined as those
holding a valid military ID card and include active-duty, retired, National
Guard and reserve members and their families, some disabled veterans and
their families, surviving spouses, and former spouses. Restrictions and limitations do apply so to be on the safe side, check with your local exchange for
their policy.
On average, two thirds of exchange earnings go to supporting Morale,
Welfare and Recreation (MWR) programs. More about MWR activities later
in this chapter. While the savings at the exchange are not quite as robust as
the average savings you’ll experience at the commissary, the greatest benefit
of shopping at the exchange is that purchases are tax-free. If you find an item
advertised for a lesser amount at another store, bring in the flyer and they
will match the price.
If you live far away from an installation and want to take advantage of the
savings, the exchanges also have online and mail-order components.

Checking out the inside of an exchange
Exchanges differ in size, but general layouts resemble those of retail stores
such as Wal-Mart and Target in that you’ll be able to find a range of items
such as household goods and apparel. Where they differ is that you will
also find high-end, luxury goods such as quality handbags, china, crystal,
and jewelry. When you think of the exchange, it is the main store that will
immediately come to mind. However, at some installations, the exchange can
be quite large and include additional specialty stores located outside of the
main store building. Generally speaking, stores will sell goods such as uniforms, furniture, toys, appliances, electronics, and outdoor items including
seasonal plants, grills, and outdoor furniture.

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When we first suggested that a military installation is like a small town, we
weren’t exaggerating. In addition to the main store and the satellite specialty
stores, you will often be able to find additional concessionaires and vendors.
Most common are the barber and beauty shops, which are commonly part of
the exchange mall.
Installation barber shops may be the last great deal with haircuts still costing
under $10 including tip.
Other concessionaires might include phone, flower, or optical shops, and
food vendors such as: Anthony’s Pizza, Cinnabon, Charlie’s Steakery, Taco
Bell, Robin Hood, and Burger King. You get the idea. We’re not talking about
fly-by-night mom-and-pop vendors here. We’re talking about names that you
know and love.

Gassing up
Although the majority of people do live off the installation, they still make an
outing out of coming on base to do their grocery shopping and combining it
with other errands such as a haircut, a quick run to the exchange, lunch, and
filling up the gas tank on the way out.
The exchange systems also run gas stations on base. Within the continental United States (CONUS) the price of fuel on base may or may not be less
expensive than the surrounding area. However, outside the continental
United States (OCONUS) the price of gas on the installation is considerably
less expensive than what you will find on the economy (locally). If you find
yourself running low on fuel while tooling around Europe and can’t make it
on the installation, the exchange services run a very competitive gas coupon
program that allows eligible users stationed to the overseas installation to
purchase Petroleum, Oil & Lube (POL) coupons. The coupons can be used
at participating gas stations and ensure reasonably priced fuel on the local
economy with participating vendors.

Shoppettes
Many times, the gas stations on the installation will be attached to a shoppette. If you find yourself needing just a couple of items and the idea of running to the exchange and fighting the crowds exhausts you, take heart — you
can run into the shoppette, grab your few items, and be on your way.
As with the main exchange, shoppettes come in different sizes. On the basic
end, they will resemble a larger gas station store or 7-Eleven style facility. On
the larger end, you might be able to find seasonal items, a good assortment of
books and magazines, as well as alcohol. Some facilities might also include a
video rental section, photo shop, and laundry and dry cleaning facilities.

Chapter 3: Getting Around Military Bases
Overseas, these shoppettes are a great connection to the pop culture back
home. When you’re surrounded by foreign-language films and magazines, it’s
comforting to be able to find English-language movie rentals. More than one
family has made a ritual out of picking up American new release rentals and
a pizza on base for a Friday family movie night before heading back home to
their small villages.

Class 6
Known by different names, the package store or Class 6 as it is commonly
referred to, is in layman’s terms, a liquor store. Generally you can find it
housed within a shoppette, but sometimes you may come across a standalone facility. You can choose from a pretty decent selection of beer, wine,
and spirits at reasonable prices. The Class 6 offers many of the same services
you would find at a regular liquor store, so if you’re having a huge event and
need a tap and a keg, you know where to look.

Eating on the Installations
If the choices at the exchange mall aren’t doing it for you in terms of dining
options, take heart, you’ve got some other avenues open to you.

The dining hall
Dining halls (also known as chow or mess halls) exist primarily for unaccompanied servicemembers who live on the installation. Imagine a college dorm
and chow hall — it’s the same principle. For the privilege of three or four
square meals a day, the servicemembers’ Basic Allowance for Subsistence
(BAS) is deducted from their pay. Because the dining halls generally provide
decent food for reasonable prices, other servicemembers routinely pay to
eat at the dining hall. Depending on the installation, other people who want
to eat at the dining halls such as active duty family members or retirees may
also be able to do so for a fee.
The Air Force in recent years has been downsizing many of its services and
facilities to save money. As a result, they have closed a number of their dining
halls, giving airmen back their BAS and requiring them to fend for themselves.
This has been received with mixed results. Some people lament the loss of the
dining facility, but others relish the options available to them.

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The clubs
Food and entertainment have always drawn servicemembers and their families
to the clubs. When a servicemember’s social life used to revolve around the
installation, the clubs did brisk business. Ceremonies celebrating promotions,
changes of command, and retirement guaranteed that social life centered on
the clubs. One of the greatest appeals of the clubs remains their convenience.
It’s easy just to walk across the base for lunch with your coworkers instead
of jumping into a car and driving off base. Happy hours and live entertainment would entice some people back after work. Themed dinners such as:
Mongolian barbecue, prime rib, or seafood feasts as well as nice Sunday
brunches drew people back to the clubs with their families in tow.
In more recent times with people moving off the installations and families
busier than ever, the clubs are not as well attended as they used to be outside of official events. However, catering and banquet facilities still make the
clubs popular locations for holiday parties, weddings, farewell parties, and
luncheons.
The three different types of clubs you may encounter are the
 Officers’ Club
 Non-commissioned Officers’ Club
 Enlisted Club
Single membership and family membership are open to all active duty and
retired U.S. and foreign military, Reservists, National Guard, DoD, and Federal
personnel. Where the separate clubs exist, your eligibility for the club is
determined by the servicemember’s rank. Many installations have gone to
consolidated clubs combining the clubs into one entity and making it open
to all, regardless of rank. There is a charge for membership that entitles you
to discounts in the club restaurants and facilities. You will also receive a
monthly member’s newsletter that will come with additional coupons.
Membership at the club covers the entire family, so you do not need to be
accompanied by your service member to use the facilities. This is quite handy
in a culture where at any given time, a significant number of the military population will be deployed. It isn’t out of the ordinary to see large tables of moms
and kids dining together at the club during the holidays. Faced with another
holiday without dad, it’s sometimes just easier to meet your friends at the club
where they make an effort to provide a kid-friendly environment and some
entertainment to distract the children so that the moms can eat.
At many clubs, a dress code is still in effect that generally prohibits you
from wearing certain items of clothing during different times of the day and
encourages certain standards at other times. It is always wise to check out the
requirements at the club or on the website before visiting.

Chapter 3: Getting Around Military Bases

Having Fun with MWR
Shopping and eating alone cannot sustain you. At some point, you’ll long for
the companionship of others and start looking around for other diversions.
Luckily for you, you won’t have to look far.
MWR stands for Morale, Welfare, and Recreation and represents a network
of programs, services, and activities that exist to enhance the lives of servicemembers, their families, military retirees, civilian employees, and other
eligible participants. MWR activities run the gamut from family, child, and
youth programs to recreation, sports, entertainment, and travel and leisure
activities.

Fitness and sports center
The fitness and sports center is open to military ID card holders past a certain age. The age restrictions vary from installation to installation and those
younger than 18 who have access usually have other restrictions attached to
their use of the facility. For all users, there is a dress code in place regulating
what can and can’t be worn at different areas of the fitness centers for decorum purposes as well as to prevent damage to equipment and the facility.
The fitness centers resemble any other good-sized gym you might find out
in town. In addition to the standard fitness equipment, you’ll find a gamut of
other extras such as massage therapy, fitness assessments, and classes. If
you’re lucky, your installation will also have an indoor pool attached to the
gym. In addition to the personal classes and training sessions, staff will also
coordinate intramural sports and tournaments that foster friendly competition.
Access to the fitness center is free of charge, but there will be costs incurred
with extras such as locker rentals, classes, massages, and other services.

Skills development center
Working out is a great way to stay in shape and to blow off steam, but sometimes you just want other options when it comes to relaxing. If you find yourself in this position, head over to the skills development center. It has facilities
and classes on almost anything you have ever wanted to learn how to do.
The wood hobby shop is equipped with machinery and tools for experienced
and novice woodworkers alike. Every first-time user is required to attend a
mandatory safety briefing before using the shop. There is a nominal hourly
fee for use. If you’re a little unsure of yourself, have no fear, there is staff on
hand to help you out.

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Frame shops are also a popular fixture at the skills development center. You
will no doubt soon have your own “I love me” wall consisting of framed certificates, farewell plaques, and various other collectibles. The skills development center and frame shop are the birthplace of many of these mementos.
In addition to being a full-service custom frame shop, they often have a selfhelp area where you can frame your own work. If you don’t know how but
have always wanted to learn, they also hold classes from time to time.
Classes don’t just end with learning how to frame. The arts and crafts centers
offer numerous classes in a myriad of different fine arts and crafts. You’ll be
able to take advantage of everything from cake decorating and holiday and
seasonal crafts to painting, drawing, and kids’ crafts.

Everything else
Most of the buildings you see on your installation that involve any sort of
activity for you or your family will fall under the umbrella of MWR. A short list
includes: bowling center, skills development center, movie theater, outdoor
recreation, automotive center, recreation centers, library, child development
center, youth and teen centers, and swimming pool (some of the more familyoriented buildings are discussed in the following section, “Focusing on the
Family). If you need it, are interested in it, or are looking to take classes in it,
chances are MWR’s already thought of it. A number of installations are even
fortunate enough to house some the nation’s best golf courses.
Attending a movie on base is like going to a movie at any other movie theater
with one big difference. Before the beginning of each movie, the national
anthem will play and everyone in the audience is expected to stand and
extend all due courtesies. The anthem will generally be accompanied with
video on the movie screen, depicting military scenes.

Focusing on the Family
The old saying used to go, “If the military had wanted you to have a wife, they
would have issued you one.” Today, with over 50 percent of servicemembers
married, that attitude doesn’t fly. Leadership understands that important
issues of staying in or getting out are made around the kitchen table, so every
effort is made to provide support to military spouses and families. After all,
servicemembers are only able to be effective at their jobs if they know their
families are well taken care of.

Chapter 3: Getting Around Military Bases

Family support center
Regardless of whether or not you want to be involved, it’s important to know
what’s going on, so stay informed. Go to all the briefings you are able to
attend. The deployment, smooth move, and other briefings provide you with
the official information you’ll need to learn about the resources available to
you. Don’t wait until you need the information to go looking for it.
Known by different names depending on the service branch, the Marine
Corps Community Services, Navy Fleet and Family Support Centers, Airmen
and Family Support Centers, and Army Community Services — family support centers are the backbone of military family life.
Looking for assistance with your résumé? Have you always wanted to take
classes in basic investing and finances? How about some items from the loan
closet to tide you over until household goods arrive at the installation? You’ll
find all these and more at your family support center.
If you are new to a base or facing an impending move, the family support centers are a great place to start your search for information as well as everything
from deployment support to ongoing classes and education on all aspects of
the military lifestyle.

Child development center
Understanding that long hours and deployments are an integral part of military life, every effort is made to ensure that high-quality, affordable childcare is available to military families. As you drive around your installation,
chances are good that you will see the child development center (CDC).
Some installations are even large enough to warrant more than one facility.
The majority of military childcare facilities are accredited by the National
Association of Education of Young Children (NAEYC), recognized as a leading
accreditation system to set high professional standards for early childhood
education programs. Once upon a time, childcare centers were viewed more
as child-minding facilities. This is no longer the case. In order to work at the
CDC’s, providers must go through a training program and will continue their
training throughout their employment. The goal is to provide children with a
stimulating environment where they can grow and develop.
The centers generally provide care for children between the ages of 6 weeks
and 12 years old. Although the majority of CDC users are under the age of 5,
the centers also run a school-age program known as school-age care (SAC).
CDC costs are determined on a sliding scale and based on a family’s total
income. For the school-age program, the costs are further determined by
hours of use.

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Some centers also offer a limited number of drop-in hourly care slots.
Reservations can be made up to one month in advance and are given out on
a first-come, first-serve basis. With hourly care, there are a maximum number
of hours per child per week.
Because the child development centers are so affordable and convenient,
there is usually a long waiting list. For those who cannot get into the CDC,
there are other options available to you discussed in Chapter 12.

Youth and teen centers
During certain times of the year, you’ll see a building with a line of parents,
some in uniform, some in civilian clothes, clutching a fistful of forms, waiting
patiently for their turn. What are they waiting for? The privilege of registering
their kids for activities on base through youth and teen services.
Understanding that military youth and teens face the same societal pressures
as their peers with the added stressors of frequent moves, deployments, and
other issues unique to the military lifestyle, military youth programs seek to
provide enriching activities for children in a safe environment. By partnering with highly regarded institutions such as the 4H Club and the Boys &
Girls Clubs of America, they are able to offer a wide range of activities such
as after-school programs, academic assistance, youth sports, pre-teen/teen
programs, classes, adventure programs, arts and crafts, field trips, music,
dances, and summer camps.

Picking Up on Personal Services
The installation has plenty of fun for the family, entertainment, and shopping
available, but the installation goes beyond that to provide some more basic personal services that anyone would like to have close to home, such as auto repair,
banking, and medical services. These sections give you the rundown of each.

Auto hobby shop
In addition to the gas station on the installation, some will also have an auto
hobby shop or service station. Like any retail facility, the auto hobby shop
provides services such as oil changes, tire rotations, inspections and detailing. For those who have the time and inclination, the hobby shops also offer
self-repair facilities with automotive tools and lifts. There is a nominal lift fee
as well as an hourly stall fee. Rentals occur on a first-come first-serve basis
and hobby shop staff is generally on hand to help with do-it-yourself projects.

Chapter 3: Getting Around Military Bases
Depending on the facility, additional services might be offered. If you’ve been
meaning to educate yourself on basic automobile care, some shops offer
preventive maintenance classes. Many shops also offer programs for the
spouses of deployed servicemembers that might include a free oil change or
towing within a certain range. As with everything else, check with your
specific installation auto hobby shop to see what’s available.

Banking
Banking on the installation even comes with some choice. For quick cash,
you’ll find ATM machines throughout the installation, but usually near or at
the exchange or shoppette. If you need just a couple of dollars and find yourself making a purchase at the commissary, exchange, or shoppette, when you
pay, you’ll be able to write your check for a small amount over the total (usually around $20). At the exchange, you can cash a check for larger amounts at
customer service. Check-cashing facilities are also available at the clubs for
members.
Many military families maintain more than one bank account. In addition to the
main account where the pay is deposited, some families will have an additional
local account so that they can deposit money and cash checks with greater
ease. There is usually a local branch of a national banking institution located
on the installation. This has greater implications for families stationed
overseas where many people utilize the on-base bank for currency exchange.
Overseas, the exchange rate is usually more favorable on base, and when
you’re paying for rent and utilities in cash, every cent, yen, or won makes
a difference. Currency exchange is also available at the clubs, although the
exchange rate may not be as favorable and there is a lower limit on the
amount you can exchange.

Military treatment facility (MTF)
The military treatment facility (MTF) is what you know of as a clinic, hospital,
or medical center. Some MTFs are larger than others. On the small side, they’ll
be similar to civilian clinics with general practitioners and outpatient services.
On the larger side, they are similar to regional medical facilities housing both
general practitioners and specialists and accommodate both outpatient and
inpatient services. Regardless of their size, MTFs generally have an in-house
pharmacy. That’s where the similarities stop. Depending on the size of the
installation and the MTF, the range of services can either be very basic or
expansive to include specialties such as audiology, dermatology, dietetics,
emergency services, family medicine, internal medicine, OB/GYN, occupational
therapy, ophthalmology, optometry, orthopedics, ENT, pediatrics, physical
therapy, psychiatry, surgery, podiatry, psychology, and substance abuse.

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All active duty servicemembers stationed to the installation are empanelled to the MTF and go there for their primary care. Even if they have to be
referred out to specialists, they will start at the MTF. More about military
healthcare in Chapter 6.

Getting the Support You Need
Aside from connecting with your unit, the installation offers several different
ways that you can not only get involved but also find support if you need it.
The following sections tell you how.

Chapel
The base chapel is not so different from its civilian counterpart. You’ll recognize the building because, for the most part, it’ll be configured much like
any other chapel you’ll see out in town. Because of the diversity of members
serving in the military, base chapels are respectful of all religions and try to
have services for most denominations. This is successful to varying degrees
on different installations. At minimum, most installations will try to offer
Protestant, Catholic, Jewish, and some Muslim services.
There is nothing to say that if you live or are stationed on a specific installation,
you have to attend services at the base chapel. It’s just another option for you.
Many people choose it because it’s convenient and a natural extension of their
small town. Many retirees also choose to come on base for Sunday services
because it provides them that continued connection with the military community.
Base chapel services are similar to those you will find out in town. You’ll find
religious education such as CCD (Confraternity of Christian Doctrine) and
Vacation Bible School for children. Like their civilian counterparts, military
chaplains perform ceremonies such as marriages, baptisms, funerals,
counseling, and other religious rites.
Some slight differences you might notice are that the exterior of a base chapel
generally conforms to the architectural style of the base (i.e. not always attractive looking). Religious icons will either be generic or interchangeable and
outside of Sunday service, the chaplain wears a uniform. Military chaplains
also serve in the military and are primarily responsible for meeting the spiritual needs of servicemembers and their families. Like regular troops, they are
eligible for the same benefits and promotion opportunities. They also PCS and
are deployable, so they’re very knowledgeable on issues facing servicemembers who serve downrange. Unlike many of their civilian counterparts, military
chaplains are particularly sensitive to the issues of reintegration facing servicemembers coming back from a deployment and their families because they have
faced the issues themselves.

Chapter 3: Getting Around Military Bases

Clubs and groups
If you want to expand your contacts outside of the unit and want to meet
other spouses around base, there are any number of clubs and groups you
can join that will open up your social life.
Most bases will have both an Enlisted Spouses’ Club and an Officers Spouses’
Club. Over the years a small number of clubs have consolidated to preserve
numbers. Regardless of the demographics of the different Spouses’ Clubs,
they are generally arranged in the same manner.
Some thumb their noses at these clubs because they think they’re dinosaurs
and have no place in today’s modern military lifestyle where most spouses
work outside the home and others are so busy they don’t have time for the
many activities. A lot of people view the socials and functions as frivolous, but
they underestimate the importance of these clubs in building lasting friendships. It’s also easy to make snap judgments about the frivolity of a club when
you don’t understand the philanthropic side of these organizations.
In addition to the monthly activities, many Spouses’ Clubs run thrift shops
that serve the military community in three ways:
 Allowing young families access to affordable, gently used items.
 Providing a place for families to consign items they no longer need and
to make a little money.
 Finally, the funds generated by thrift shop activities go right back into the
base community in the form of charitable donations and scholarships for
military children.
While you may be envisioning chicken scratch, the stores make everything
from tens of thousands stateside to overseas where gift shops generate
hundreds of thousands of dollars for charity.
So maybe we’ve piqued your interest enough for you to go check out your
local Spouses’ Club. Fortunately, they’re getting easier to find because many
of them now have web sites. Even better, some of the clubs are linked to one
another through their web sites. If you can’t find a web site for the clubs at
the base you’re moving to, you can usually get a membership application at
the officers’ or enlisted club on base once you get there.
In larger areas with high concentrations of military installations and personnel, area spouse groups (across the services) will join together for a Joint
Spouses’ Luncheon. The speaker is usually a national celebrity. Past speakers include: General Peter Pace, President Bush, Lee Woodruff, and Art
Buchwald. These joint luncheons are always fun to attend and provide you
with a way to meet spouses from other service branches.

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The Base Chapel also provides you with other opportunities to meet other
spouses through groups such as Protestant Women of the Chapel (PWOC). If
you have a DODDS school on base, the Parent Teacher Student Association
(PTSA) will provide you with additional opportunities to get involved. You
get the general idea. Regardless of where your interests may lie, there are any
number of groups and associations around base for you to affiliate with. It’s
just a matter of getting out there and finding them.

Family Advocacy Programs
Although there are any number of ways to stay busy and get involved, sometimes it’s not enough to offset the stressors of the military lifestyle. As with anything else, there is an uglier side to military life, and if you or anyone you know is
a victim of abuse, the counselors and experts at Family Advocacy can help.
In addition to the assistance they provide to families experiencing the trauma of
abuse, they are also the go-to resource for child and spouse abuse prevention.
In the interest of preventive education, Family Advocacy Programs (FAP) offers
classes in topics such as crisis management, parenting, and anger management.
For new parents, they also support groups available.

Clubbing with the new “Wives Club”
Historically, clubs consisting of spouses of servicemembers were called Wives Clubs, but as
the ranks of male spouses began to grow, some
of the clubs changed their name to Spouses’
Clubs.

Check out the basic specs of a Spouses’ Club:

Each club is led by an elected Executive Board.
In addition to the Executive Board, there are
additional committee chairs for everything from
Special Activities and Programs to Newsletter
and Scholarships. These committee chairs
are members of the club who volunteer to be
in charge of their committees for the board
year. The chairs of these committees in addition to the Executive Board make up the Board
of Governors. Advisors to the board are the
spouses of the senior leadership on base.

• The board year generally runs from June to
May.

• The Board of Governors meets every month.
• The frequency of Executive Board meetings
varies from club to club.

• You pay dues to belong to the clubs.
• Clubs normally have a general meeting every
month.
There are some traditional functions that repeat
themselves every year because they are so
popular. These include some sort of special
activities sign-up or community fair, bingo,
and a recognition ceremony for scholarship
recipients.

Chapter 4

Connecting with the Military
Community
In this chapter

 Belonging to the group

 Maintaining open lines of communications

 Taking part in the festivities

 Finding support and friendship around base

I

t’s somewhat scary to think about moving every two or three years into a
brand-new situation and having to start over. Fortunately, the military
has a structure in place that ensures that you have people, resources, and
programs out there to support you from day one.

Connecting to the Unit
The unit patch servicemembers wear on their uniforms represents tradition,
history, and belonging. For the servicemember, much of their identity is tied
to the unit. In these instances, the common adage is very true — you don’t
get to pick your family. For better or worse, through the shared experiences
and deployments, your unit will become your extended family for the
duration of your time at the installation.
Depending on how active your unit is, your life could very well revolve
around the command. Servicemembers will arrange official functions such as
Hails and Farewells, deployment briefings, fundraisers, parties, and picnics.
All of these events are important to unit morale and serve to build esprit de
corps (morale/unit cohesion).

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Part I: Reporting for Duty

Utilizing your sponsor
When your servicemember receives an assignment, your family will be
offered a sponsor from the gaining unit (unit that you will be assigned to
when you move). You can always choose to decline a sponsor, but why limit
the resources available to you? Your sponsor will act as liaison to your new
installation and unit.
In addition to making sure you receive a newcomer’s packet consisting of
information about the base and possibly the local area, your sponsors should
make themselves available to answer any questions you have. Sponsors will be
particularly important when you are moving overseas. Because working with
different cultures and time zones can be somewhat overwhelming, sponsors
try to help by doing things such as making hotel reservations and arranging for
transportation to and from the airport.
When moving overseas, you won’t even have a driver’s license yet and
chances are, neither will your servicemember spouse. Therefore, sponsors
become much more important to your survival and the success of your PCS
(move) and transition.
As with everything else, the quality of sponsors varies. You will have some
that will do the bare minimum that is required of them, or you will have
others who really do view it as their job to make your transition to your new
base as smooth as possible by providing you with as much information as
they can get their hands on. Remember to take notes because your servicemember will have the chance to be a sponsor as well and knowing what
information was important to you as you were moving will come in handy.

Keeping contact info current
The first few days to weeks at any new job are spent attending meetings and
filling out mountains of paperwork. Why would you think the military would
be any different? Really, the only difference is that the servicemember will be
filling the forms out in uniform! In the course of filling out all the paperwork,
your DH or DW (darling husband or darling wife) will be asked to fill out an
informational sheet for the unit roster.
There are generally two rosters that are maintained. One is the roster used for
official correspondence and information. The other is a social roster that you
will opt into if you’re interested in receiving information on other activities.
Even if you don’t think you want to be terribly active, you should opt into the
social roster so that you receive all the information and stay in the loop.

Chapter 4: Connecting with the Military Community
The unit can’t support you if they don’t know you exist. The relationship
works both ways. You should also get contact information and phone numbers for the rear detachment (those servicemembers left behind) before your
servicemember deploys in case a situation arises and you need help.
For a multitude of reasons, it is also imperative that you keep your contact
information up to date throughout your time at the base. Information on the
rosters is used to generate newsletter mailings. The information is also used
for other initiatives such as the phone trees. Because they are a quick way to
disseminate information, volunteers making the calls need to be able to rely
on good, up-to-date data.
Chances are good that you’ll be asked to provide detailed driving directions
to your house from the installation. If you move, be sure you keep this up to
date. Programs such as Mapquest are not always a reliable means of finding
directions to newer housing developments.

Staying in the loop
Good communication is essential to the success of any squadron or unit. At
any given time, there are a multitude of support systems and programs available to you. It’s up to you to find them. No one’s going to come knocking on
your door offering up a menu of everything that’s available to you.
The best way to stay in the loop is to maintain an open line of communication. As mentioned earlier, keep your information up to date so that you
continue to stay up to date with all the news and developments. Newsletters
are an important connection. In addition to reading the unit newsletter, you
should make a habit of reading the base paper. It’s the equivalent of reading
your hometown paper and easy enough to pick up during your next trip out
to the BX or commissary. Installation commands and commanders use the
base paper as the official means of disseminating information to the general
base population, so it’s a good way to find out what’s going on or what new
and interesting might be coming soon.

Marking military family milestones
Just as with any family, your military family will experience milestones that will
need to be acknowledged. This acknowledgement generally comes from individuals (if you feel like you know those involved well enough), but an official
acknowledgement also comes from the unit in the form of some type of gift or
recognition.

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In determining what to do and when, unit spouses will decide a standard
operating procedure (SOP) for acknowledging milestones such as births and
weddings. As mentioned earlier, this usually involves a gift of some kind. In
addition to gifts, units might also choose to deliver meals to new moms as
well as people who are under the weather, or for other occasions. Regardless
of what is decided, every effort will be made not to leave anyone out. The
general rule of thumb being: Only do for one what you can do for all.
The unit Commander and his/her spouse might also choose to acknowledge
milestones on their own with an additional gift or memento aside from the
official unit gift. They will generally also try to pay a visit to people who are in
the hospital or laid up at home.

Attending Hails and Farewells
When you join a new unit, one of the first events you’ll attend is a Hail and
Farewell. This is when you and your family are officially welcomed into the
fold of the unit. Hails and Farewells are official functions organized by the
unit but well attended by the families. The purpose of these events is to welcome incoming members of the unit and farewell to outgoing members and
their families. The events can take the shape of anything from potlucks to restaurant events. Regardless of where the events are held, they’re an important
time to mingle and get to know other members of the unit and their families.
When the servicemembers are deploying together, getting to know each other
better, and sharing very close quarters for long stretches of time, you’ll be
happy to be able to put the faces to the names. Knowing a little more about
the people your spouse is deployed with is an easy way to feel more involved
when you’re separated by thousands of miles.
When you leave the unit and the base, one of the last events you attend will
be the Hail and Farewell. This is always bittersweet as you’ll see the new
families becoming welcomed into the unit just as you’re being farewelled and
saying good-bye to your friends.

Discovering other social activities
Hails and Farewells are only the beginning of unit activities. This means that
you will have the opportunity to attend various parties and picnics, such as
the following:
 Fundraisers: From time to time, the unit will also have a fundraiser, and
you might be asked to volunteer. Be prepared to sell donuts or breakfast
burritos, man a gift-wrap table, or wash cars. It’s all for a good cause.
Money raised during these fundraisers goes toward defraying the costs
of unit activities.

Chapter 4: Connecting with the Military Community
 Spouse events: In addition to the occasional parties and official events,
unit spouses will also meet approximately once a month. These spouse
gatherings/coffees are generally held in the evening at someone’s house.
People who are interested in hosting the event will sign up and be
responsible for refreshments and sometimes arrange for a speaker or
program of some sort.
The first time you attend a spouse coffee, you’ll probably be asked to
pay your dues. These dues usually go to pay for the cost of Hail and
Farewell gifts. In many units, only those spouses who pay dues will
receive a farewell gift upon departure.
Unit spouse events are not segregated by rank and everyone is invited
and encouraged to attend.

Making merry with holiday parties
The holidays are particularly fun for families with young children. The
spouses work very hard to pull together children’s parties and rally the
families for activities centered around kids’ activities, usually around Easter,
Halloween, and Christmas. You’ll be invited to the various egg hunts, costume parties, and visits with Santa. Kids have a lot of fun at these parties; you
have even more fun because you get a chance to visit with your friends while
your kids are happily engaged in supervised activities. But to make sure that
these activities make a splash and make everyone feel included, follow these
reminders:
 Volunteer. If you really enjoy these parties and can help, volunteer to do
so. It’s always challenging to find enough hands to help make the events
memorable.
 Include everyone. Although the kids’ events are fun, not everyone in
the unit is married and even those who are don’t always have kids.
Successful units will ensure that their activities are inclusive and equally
welcoming to single members of the unit, married couples without children, as well as families.
 Make babysitting arrangements well ahead of time. Call your babysitter before December because sometime around December the unit will
also have a holiday party just for the adults that you won’t want to miss.
This usually involves dinner, dancing, and possibly some type of entertainment from members of the unit (generally very humiliating and not
meant to be taken seriously).
 Make the annual holiday party a priority. If you can’t attend anything
else throughout the year, you should really make an effort to at least
go to the annual holiday party. Most everyone will be there with their
spouses and it’s a great time to touch base with your friends and meet
the other people in your unit.

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Understanding the ins and
outs of Dining In and Out
A unit might decide to hold a Dining In to honor a visiting dignitary or to
farewell departing members. Dining Ins are strictly for members in the unit,
and spouses are not invited. Dining Outs are essentially the same event, only
they also include members from outside the military. They are similar to the
Dining Ins with an important difference. Spouses are included. Both events
are very formal, and if you’re invited to attend a Dining Out, plan on wearing
a ball gown or the male equivalent.
Chances are good that you will go your entire tour (assignment at a base)
without being invited to a Dining Out, but it’s worth mentioning because it
represents a grand tradition of building esprit de corps and boosting unit
morale. The sections that follow help you get in and out of the Dining Out
with ease.

Following the rules
Every Dining In and Out is regulated by the Rules of the Mess that govern the
evening’s events. Here are some examples of common rules:
 The President is the final decision maker and is never wrong.
 Thou shalt arrive within 10 minutes of the appointed hour.
 Thou shalt not bring hats or caps into the mess.
 Thou shalt make every effort to meet all guests.
 Thou shalt move to the mess when thou hearest the chimes and remain
standing until seated by the President.
 Thou shalt not bring cocktails or lighted smoking material into the mess.
 Thou shalt not leave the mess whilst convened. Military protocol
overrides all calls of nature.
 Thou shalt participate in all toasts unless thyself or thy group is
honored with a toast.
Speaking of toasts, there will be many toasts — don’t drain your glass with any
one toast because it is a violation of the mess to toast with an empty glass.
Speaking of violations, you’re probably wondering who would ever know and
who would care? Believe it or not, each Dining In or Out has an appointed Mr.
Vice who extracts penance from offenders. Traditional penance is to send
the offender to the Grog bowl where he or she needs to partake of the grog.
Sounds straightforward, doesn’t it? Well, every trip to the Grog bowl involves
a little ceremony. If you get any part of the ceremony wrong, you have to start
all over again!

Chapter 4: Connecting with the Military Community
Keeping up with the pomp
What’s a military event without many ceremonies? Part of the evening’s
festivities will involve concocting the grog, usually of an alcoholic slant.
Nowadays, there is generally nonalcoholic grog available.
In addition to appreciating all the pomp and circumstance and trying to keep
all the toasts and traditions straight that take place during a Dining Out, you
might be a little worried about how well you’ll do. Well, stop worrying. As
with everything else in life, good manners will serve you well. More about
basic protocol in Chapter 2.

Combat Dining Out
You may be lucky enough to be invited to a Combat Dining Out. Unlike Dining
Ins or Outs which are quite formal, this type of event is much mellower and
definitely does not involve any formalwear. While a Combat Dining Out might
retain some elements of the more formal Dining Out, the rules are generally
more relaxed; there might even be some type of obstacle course or activity
involved, and it tends to be much more appealing to the younger people in
attendance.

Marking Military Milestones
A military career is full of milestones: graduations, promotions, changes of
command, and retirements. Every event is worthy of recognition and a ceremony. Just as you would attend festivities surrounding momentous events
in your family, the military’s no different. Your unit and your military friends
become an extended family of sorts. You should attend as many ceremonies
as you are invited to.

Promotions
Promotion parties are given by officers or NCOs shortly after being being
notified that they have been promoted. Sometimes held in the squadron,
sometimes held at the club or at a different location, promotion parties may
be done in conjunction with a group of people being promoted around the
same time. In addition to the party, there’s also the promotion ceremony
where the orders are read and the new insignia is pinned on. The promotion
ceremony occurs when servicemembers are able to pin on their new rank.

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Change of command
Change of command ceremonies are set up to pass on the authority, accountability, and responsibility from the old commander to the new. This formal
ceremony ensures that the troops know who is in command and also serves
to demonstrate the new commander’s commitment to the unit.
The outgoing commander, the new commander, and the next highest level
of command are present at the ceremony. The outgoing commander relinquishes command back to the higher level command who then entrusts the
command to the new commander. This is literally done by passing the unit
colors, also known as the guideon from the old commander to the higher
command and then to the new commander. The symbolic action is meant to
signify passing the baton.
Once the unit colors have been passed from one commander to the other, the
new commander then addresses the troops while the old commander slips
out to his or her next assignment, riding off into the sunset. A change of command ceremony is wrought with a mix of emotions for everyone involved. If
the outgoing commander was a popular one, people will feel somewhat conflicted. While you might be happy that the commander is moving on to bigger
and better, you may be somewhat apprehensive about the new commander,
not knowing what to expect.
Personal feelings aside, it is important that everyone pay their respects to
the old commander and his or her family and support the new leadership
team by showing up to the ceremony and staying for the following reception.

Retirement ceremonies
After 20-plus-some years of service to their country, servicemembers are entitled to a retirement ceremony to acknowledge their accomplishments throughout their career in service to their country. If you are invited to attend these
ceremonies in support of other members of the unit or other friends, try to
attend. Retirement ceremonies are important to provide retiring servicemembers and their families a tangible acknowledgement of their faithful service and
contributions. Though it may be hard to imagine, one day that’ll be you and
your servicemember on that stage, and you’ll be happy to look out over a sea
of faces who have meant so much to you throughout your military life.
Just because your servicemember spouse has a formal retirement ceremony
doesn’t mean you’re no longer part of the military family. On the contrary,
you’ve earned a lifetime of benefits through your dedicated service. A military
retirement is a milestone you can be proud of. Don’t think of this as an ending.
Think of it as a beginning for the next chapter of your lives (more about
military retirement in Chapter 21).

Chapter 4: Connecting with the Military Community

Finding Support within the Installation
At times, you may feel that you need more support than your unit can or is
qualified to offer. If you are fortunate enough to live on or near an installation, there are any number of support systems for you to tap into:
 Chapel: Not only can you attend services and ceremonies at the chapel
on base, but also military chaplains can offer support to servicemembers coming back from a deployment and their families. Remember that
military chaplains have faced the issues themselves and can thus be
quite helpful.
 Family support centers: Family support centers can be a backbone of
support by providing you with loads of information about deployment,
as well as providing you with classes and education on military life.
 Clubs and groups: Participating in groups and clubs can give you an
even greater sense of belonging. Even outside of the unit, you can find
clubs and groups to belong to, such as groups associated with your
religion, the school, as well as the Spouses’ Club.
 Family Advocacy Programs (FAP): Face it — you’re going to get
stressed out. If that happens, or if you or anyone you know is a victim of
abuse, the counselors and experts at Family Advocacy can help. FAP is
your resource for child and spouse abuse prevention as well as preventive education classes, such as crisis management, parenting, and anger
management. They even have support groups for new parents.
For more on any of these facilities or programs, check them out in detail in
Chapter 3.

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Part I: Reporting for Duty

Part II:

Understanding Your
Financial Issues and
Benefits

U

In this part . . .

nderstanding all your military and financial benefits
can be somewhat overwhelming. In this part, you’ll
get an overview of what you can expect as well as suggestions on how to maximize your benefits and begin building your financial foundation. You’ll also learn about other
educational and employment programs out there to
support you.

Chapter 5

Deciphering Military
Compensation
In This Chapter

 Figuring out your sources of income

 Understanding your pay statement

 Clarifying what’s taxable

S

ervicemembers get paid in a number of different ways, which is a great
thing, but it’s not simple. Your family member will receive base pay,
allowances to help pay for different types of things, and possibly additional
income, known as special pays. And once you get it figured out, it’ll change.
Luckily it only changes for the better; with annual pay raises, longevity
raises, promotions, increases in special pays, and allowances.
This chapter explains your servicemember’s primary income sources, the
leave and earnings statement (LES), and what part of this income is taxable.
We know, you may have just snoozed, especially when you saw “taxable.”
But we promise that if you keep thinking, “Money!” as you read the chapter,
you’ll become a pro at wading through the LES and all things related to
military income — score!

Sifting through Sources of Pay
Basic pay, allowances, and special pays are affected by your servicemember’s military occupation, pay grade, where he’s stationed, and if
he’s deployed. But, don’t worry. In the sections that follow, we give you the
information you need to sort through the many pieces and parts of military
compensation. And, the more pieces and parts that apply to your family, the
more income you have to work with to meet your needs and goals.

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Part II: Understanding Your Financial Issues and Benefits

Basic pay
Think of this as your servicemember’s base paycheck. Basic pay rates are the
same across all branches of the service. The only differences in basic pay are
pay grade and, to a much lesser extent, the number of years your servicemember has been in the service.

Additional pays
All military who’ve been in the service for the same length of time and have
the same pay grade receive the same basic pay. Your servicemember may
qualify for additional pays because of his unique training or specialty, where
his duty station is located, and whether he’s in a combat zone. Your family
may also receive allowances for some food, clothing, and shelter. And the
following sections break down all of the additional pays you may encounter.

Hazardous duty pay
Heck, if your loved ones are in harm’s way to serve our country, it’s nice
to know that they’re getting paid more. And considering there is an endless
number of activities and situations that are dangerous, the military has
a number of ways to compensate your servicemember exposed to these
dangers:
 $225 per month for Hostile Fire and Imminent Danger Pay: Additional
pay for those occasions when your servicemember is subject to hostile
fire or explosion.
 $50 to $150 per month for Hardship Duty Pay: For servicemembers
living and working in extremely difficult living conditions or enduring
excessive physical hardship.
 $150 per month for Hazardous Duty Incentive Pay: In addition to
living and working in a danger zone, under extremely difficult living conditions, your servicemember may also perform particularly hazardous
duties, such as jumping out of airplanes or handling explosives.
 $150 to $350 per month for Hazardous Duty Incentive Pay for Flying:
Servicemembers, known as aircrew (everybody on the plane except the
pilots), receive this additional pay. Pilots are paid additionally for their
job specialty (more on specialty pay in the section, “Unique training and
specialty pay,” below).
Your servicemember is entitled to any two of these hazardous duty pays that
apply to them at any one time.

Chapter 5: Deciphering Military Compensation
Unique training or specialty pay
Each branch of the armed services pays extra if your servicemember
acquires the unique skills or specialized training for certain military
occupations and may also be eligible for certain special bonuses. Here’s how
it works:
 Monthly specialty pay
• $125 to $840 for aviation officers
• $50 to $730 for sea duty
• Up to $340 for diving duty
• Up to $1,000 for proficiency in a foreign language, presuming the
military has deemed that foreign language critical.
 Special bonuses
• Reenlistment: Bonuses vary depending on servicemembers’
unique training or specialty, their Military Occupational Specialty,
and how long they initially served. They may also be eligible for
additional reenlistment bonuses if they possess a skill designated
as critical by the Secretary of Defense or Homeland Security or are
willing to accept undesirable assignments.
• Pilot: Up to $25,000 per year for aviators remaining on active duty
after the end of their initial enlistment.
• Nuclear: Up to $20,000 one-time bonus is available to Naval
officers upon their selection for nuclear power training duty. An
additional annual pay of up to $22,000 is provided for their
technical qualifications for duty in nuclear propulsion plants.
And if they sign a long-term contract, they may be entitled to an
additional $25,000 bonus each year.
• JAG: Up to $60,000 is available to officers who complete ten years
of service as a judge advocate. This bonus goes a long way toward
paying off big law school loans.
• Medical: Special pay is awarded to medical officers if they agree
to remain on active duty for at least one year. Remaining on active
duty after their initial service obligation period provides up to
$14,000 per year of additional pay.
• Dental: Up to $30,000 is available to officers who contract to serve
on active duty for four years. An additional $7,000 to $27,000 per
year is paid for their unique skills, and even more, if they are board
certified.

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• Veterinary: Veterinary officers are eligible to receive awards of
$2,000 to $5,000 per year depending on their years of service. In
addition they receive an extra $100 per month in special pay.
• Special Warfare: Officers who remain on active duty in special
warfare service for at least one year may be entitled to receive a
continuation bonus of up to $15,000 per year, for each year they
serve on special warfare duty.

Allowances
In addition to your servicemember’s basic paycheck and any additional
special pay they may earn, your family also receives allowances.
These allowances aren’t all that different from the ones your parents may
have given you as a kid. The military pays servicemembers and their
family allowances to help cover increases in the cost of living, as well as
additional expenses related to food, clothing, and shelter — and a few other
related items.

Cost of living allowances
Maybe you’re one of the lucky families who live in a warm, beautiful place
like Southern California or Miami or other wonderfully expensive areas
like Boston, New York, or Seattle. Housing, gasoline, auto insurance, and
sometimes even food may cost significantly more where you live than many
other areas of the country. Since your servicemember’s basic pay is the
same as his or her counterparts stationed in far less expensive parts of the
country, the military provides a monthly Cost of Living Allowance (COLA) to
help make up this imbalance in compensation.
Cost of living allowances depend on your servicemember’s assigned duty
station, pay grade, length of time in the service, and whether there are
dependents. If you live in a location that the military regards as a high-cost
area, you will receive a COLA increase regardless of whether you live on
or off base. Visit www.military.com/COLA to calculate the current COLA
adjustment for various locations and your personal situation.

Basic allowance for subsistence
This allowance (BAS) is intended to offset the cost of food for the servicemember — not the family — and the amount is adjusted annually. The
monthly BAS paid to your officer is about $200 and the amount provided to
your enlisted servicemember is almost $300. This allowance is paid to all
servicemembers regardless of whether they dine in the mess hall or offbase.

Chapter 5: Deciphering Military Compensation
But don’t get too excited thinking that you’ve got $300 in extra cash because
your servicemember dines at the mess hall. Government provided meals are
only partially subsidized.

Clothing allowances
Your officer receives a one-time payment clothing allowance after commissioning to buy clothing. Enlisted servicemembers receive uniforms and an
annual clothing maintenance allowance. If your servicemember is required
to wear civilian duds as part of his duty assignment, the service will provide
an allowance for this additional expense.

Per diem
Should servicemembers travel on official military business they are entitled
to a daily cash allotment to reimburse them for the cost of food and lodging.
This is known as per diem.
Per diem is set to reimburse servicemembers, to cause them not to go into
debt on a business trip. Find out the per diem rate for a given location, at
http://perdiem.hqda.pentagon.mil/perdiem, prior to the trip and
budget accordingly.

Housing allowances
Basic Allowance for Housing, also known as BAH, is provided to servicemembers to adjust for the additional costs of living offbase. The actual amount
of BAH is based on the local rental housing market, your servicemember’s
pay grade, and number of dependents. When it comes to considering your
servicemember’s housing allowance, keep the following things in mind:
 BAH is a set amount per month. Remember your actual housing
expense can be substantially higher than your BAH. Visit http://www.
military.com/benefits/military-pay/basic-allowancefor-housing-rates for current rates by geography, pay grade, and
dependent status.
 The Basic Allowance for Housing is paid out automatically when you
apply for off-base housing. You may use this money to help cover your
housing expenses whether you rent or purchase your home. Refer to
Chapter 10 for more on housing options and what may be the best
choices for your family.
 If you and your spouse are both employed by the military, each of you
is entitled to the Basic Allowance for Housing. If you live together, one
of you can claim BAH with dependents and the other must register at
the single rate.

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Part II: Understanding Your Financial Issues and Benefits
 Your family receives the highest total BAH pay if the servicemember
with the highest pay grade claims the dependents.
 If servicemembers are stationed overseas and live offbase, they
don’t receive BAH. Instead they receive a special Overseas Housing
Allowance, or OHA. This allowance is intended to offset the actual cost
of rent, utilities, and recurring maintenance expenses. Unlike BAH for
your state-side counterparts, OHA is not a set monthly amount.
 If you are eligible for Overseas Housing Allowance, you also qualify
for a move-in housing allowance to cover the purchase of necessities;
one-time fees, such as real estate agent fees or lease taxes; and
reimbursements for required security expenses.
 If you are unable to stay in government housing when you first report
to a permanent duty station outside the continental United States
(OCONUS) for some other reason beyond your control, you may be
eligible for an overseas temporary lodging allowance, generally up
to 60 days.

Dislocation allowance
If you and your servicemember must relocate due to a change in duty
stations or as required by the government, a dislocation allowance or DLA,
ranging from about $1,800 to nearly $4,000, is granted to help offset your
relocation expenses. The DLA rate is dependent on pay grade.
This allowance does not apply toward the costs your family incurs locating to
the first duty station after your servicemember’s initial training.

Family separation allowance
If your servicemember must be away for more than 30 days, you may
be entitled to the Family Separation Allowance of $250 per month. If your
servicemember is assigned to a permanent duty station where dependents
are not allowed or if your spouse is on duty on board a ship at sea for more
than 30 days you’ll be entitled to the Family Separation Allowance.

Taking time off — Leave
Your servicemember earns two and a half days leave per month, or 30
days each year. The civilian world calls it vacation pay and usually limits
employees to two weeks per year. And they don’t qualify for any vacation
until they’ve completed at least 12 months of employment. But, then
again, civilians are almost never on call 24/7.

Chapter 5: Deciphering Military Compensation
Leave can accumulate for up to 75 days — over two full years.
If servicemembers don’t use their leave — they lose it.
Announced July 01, 2008, members can now carry over 75 days leave rather
than the previous 60 days into the next fiscal year. Servicemembers who
are unable to take leave because of operational duties may carry forward as
many as 120 days leave for up to three or four years depending on circumstances. And this carry-over happens automatically. No authorizations or
paperwork are required to get this carry-over. If servicemembers retire or
transition out of the armed forces with unused leave, they may receive a cash
buyout of their unused leave. Enlisted servicemembers may now sell back up
to 30 days of special accrued leave earned in a combat zone or designated
contingency operation. This is an especially valuable benefit in that leave
earned under these circumstances is not taxed. And you can’t cash out more
than sixty 60 days worth of leave.

Demystifying the pay statement
In the military your payroll information statement, is known as the leave
and earnings statement (LES). All active duty, retired military, and civilians
employed by the armed services receive an LES at the end of each month.
You might be paid twice a month, but you’ll still only receive a monthly LES.
And, really, who wants one more frequently than that?
If you’re like most people you probably won’t spend much or any time
reviewing your LES. However, we strongly advise that you thoroughly review
your LES any time you may have a change in pay, deductions, or allotments. If
the government accidentally overpays your servicemember and the money
gets spent — when the error is discovered — you are responsible for making
up the overpayment. Review the LES to make certain errors, for or against
you, don’t go undiscovered.
The easiest and most efficient way to view, or print, the LES is online at www.
myPay.com. The following section highlights the key points to review on
your spouse’s leave and earnings statement. See an example and detailed
explanation for each entry on your LES at www.dfas.mil and check out an
example of what an LES looks like in Figure 5-1.

Explaining the LES
The Leave and Earnings Statement is only one page long, but it does pack
in a lot of information. We’ll touch on the highlights here (see Figure 5-1
for a picture of an LES):

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Part II: Understanding Your Financial Issues and Benefits
 Section A: On the top line, you see your servicemember’s personal
information, pay grade, years of service, expiration date of current
contract, and the period date covered by the statement.
 Section E: You’ll find all the information you need about the leave
part of the LES in this section. It starts out with the beginning
balance, adds 2.5 days per month, shows adjustments for leave taken
during the current fiscal year (the government runs on a October 1
through September 30 fiscal year), and shows you the remaining
leave available.
 Section G: In this section you find out about taxes — the number of
exemptions claimed, state, federal, Social Security, and Medicare taxes
paid this period and year to date.
 Section I: Your Basic Allowance for Housing is illustrated in this section.
 Bottom half: A listing of all the types and amounts of pays
(entitlements), deductions, and payments are displayed on the
bottom half of the LES.
 Net pay: Now we’re talking, right? The total (net pay) number toward
the bottom of the LES is probably what you’re most interested in. This
is the amount of cash that will be deposited directly into your bank
account.
If you have any questions about your servicemember’s LES, consult with
your disbursing/finance office.

Allotments
An allotment is money that your servicemember elects to have withheld
from his pay and directed toward loan payments, retirement savings, and
charitable contributions.
You should take advantage of this convenience as much as possible. It costs
nothing to have bills paid or to make investments or contributions directly
out of your paycheck. It is very convenient! No checks to write, desired
expenditures get made, and you didn’t have to think about it or to lift a finger.
You’ve got much more important or at least fun things to do with your time
than paying bills. The only downside to allotments is that your servicemember
is limited to the number of total allotments they can have at any a time.
The sections that follow show you what you need to know about allotments.

Chapter 5: Deciphering Military Compensation
U.S. NAVY
LEAVE AND EARNINGS STATEMENT
1
0

NAME, LAST, FIRST, MI

SSN

PAY
YRS
BEG LV
GRADE
BAL

CHRISTMAS, MARY (N)

123-45-6789

01

PERIOD COVERED

0 1 – 3 0 AP R 9 2

43081

LEAVE ACCOUNT

LV
LV
END LV
EARND EARND BAL

BAL TO

PAIDLV

00 000 0 12 0 05 0 007 0 000 0 000 0

EARNINGS

1565.00
426.20
130.30
11.15

BASIC PAY
BAQ WITH DEPENDENTS
BAS
VHA WITH DEPENDENTS

2132.65

TOTAL EARNINGS

83.33
8.00
110.80
100.56
32.19
60.00

ADV PAY
SCLI FOR 100,000
FEDERAL TAX
FICA TAX
STATE TAX
ALLOTMENT

NET PAY (1565 + 426.20)

394.88

TOTAL DEDUCTIONS

1991.20

P
A
Y
C
O
M
P
U
T
A
T
I
O
N
S
A
N
D
R
E
M
A
R
K
S

PAYMENTS POSTED SINCE LAST LES:
14APR92 721.20, DDS, DSSN 8522, NPR
01MAY92 721.25, DDS, DSSN 8522, NPR

0500
0603

BASED ON CURRENT INFORMATION AT DFAS YOUR PAY IS
EXPECTED TO BE:
MAY92 MID-MONTH PAYMENT AMOUNT
721.00
MAY92 END-OF-MONTH PAYMENT AMOUNT
721.00
REMARKS:
TOTAL ADVANCE OF PAY 1000.00 – BALANCE OUTSTANDING 666.68
TAX STATUS CHANGE TO MO2 EFFECTIVE APR89
DAILY NORM EFFECTIVE 01MAY92IS 56.08
NAVY AND MARINE CORPS RELIEF SOCIETY NEEDS YOUR SUPPORT;
FUND DRIVE 4 MAY–6JUN

PERSONNEL AND PAY LV COMPENSATION

B
A
L

00

T
A
X

MO2

S
V
C

09DEC88

F
I
E
L
D

Figure 5-1:
A sample
LES.

AND DUE AND OF
LAST NO DON’T LV

U
S
E
O
N
L
Y

TOTAL EXPENSES TOTAL

1833 33

1338 90
000000

390 33

5355 60

521 95

1442 45
1338 90

09DEC88 AC

00

M
I
S
C

5355 60

DDS
402 21

00 30,500 22APR89
5355 60
00

00

154 98 AL
00 2705

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Part II: Understanding Your Financial Issues and Benefits
Discretionary allotments
You can add up to six discretionary allotments (by completing DD Form
2558) at any time. You can also discontinue or change the amount of
your discretionary allotments at any time — it’s at your discretion, hence
the name.
Use the maximum of six discretionary allotments to have your required
monthly expenses such as loans, insurance premiums, and savings contributions paid automatically for you each and every month. Discretionary
allotments should be utilized to their fullest extent. Set them up and use
them! Make all of your required expenditures, including saving and
investing – yes, this is a requirement – before you have a chance to spend
the money. You’ll be glad you did!
Key items to consider for your discretionary allotments:
 Rent or mortgage payments
 Insurance premiums: auto, renter’s or homeowner’s, commercial life
insurance
 Loans: auto, home, school, or personal
 Investments: Thrift Savings Plan, IRAs, mutual funds, or money market
accounts
We talk more about the benefits and strategies of paying your bills and saving
and investing automatically in Chapter 8.

Nondiscretionary allotments
These types of allotments work exactly the same way as discretionary
allotments, with the exception that the type of expenditures allowed are
very limited; you can have more of them, but you can’t start and stop these
allotments at will. If you have any questions about allotments, contact your
assigned pay office. If you have additional questions contact the Defense
Finance and Accounting Service (DFAS) at 800-390-2348 or visit online at
www.dod.mil/dfas.
If you owe back taxes or pay court-ordered child support, you must make
these payments through your nondiscretionary allotments.

Making Sense Out of Taxes
We know you’re patriotic, red-blooded Americans just dying to abide by the
laws of our great country. While it’s your duty to pay all the taxes you owe,

Chapter 5: Deciphering Military Compensation
you have the right not to pay a penny more than you must. In the following
sections we highlight what of your income is taxable and what isn’t, and what
you may be able to do to minimize your total tax bite.

Understanding what compensation
is taxable
Everything is included — unless it’s excluded! All the time — almost! Oh,
that’s right. We said we’d make sense of your taxes. Here we go . . .
Unless your family member’s pay is received for service in a combat zone,
the following income sources are taxable for federal income tax purposes:
 Basic pay:
• Active duty
• Special schooling and training
• Cost-of-living allowance (CONUS)
 Special pay (see details in the section “Additional pays”)
 Bonuses (see details in the section “Additional pays”)
 Pay taken in lieu of leave
 Personal allowances paid to high-ranking officers
 Student loan repayments by the government
 Incentive pay (see details in the section “Additional pays”)
The following list outlines the tax-free benefits you receive:
 Living Allowances
• Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH)
• Basic Allowance for Subsistence (BAS)
• Overseas Housing Allowance (OHA)
• Cost-of-living allowance (OCONUS)
 Moving allowances
 Travel allowances
 Miscellaneous
• Uniforms for enlisted members, uniform allowance for officers
• Professional education, required for service

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Part II: Understanding Your Financial Issues and Benefits
• Childcare assistance
• Qualified educational expenses for dependents
• Discounts at the exchange
• Space-available (Space-A) travel
• Legal assistance
• Medical and dental care
• Burial services, death gratuity payments
• Veteran’s disability payments
• Group life insurance
• Survivor Benefit Protection premiums
You may not feel like you’re rolling in the dough, but if you had to earn a
civilian paycheck equivalent to your after-tax military compensation, it would
take a whopping big number!
Commissioned officers’ combat zone pay is only excluded from income
taxation up to the highest rate of enlisted pay available with the maximum
time in service, plus imminent danger or hostile fire pay.

Exploring ways to reduce your tax bite
Everyone wants to reduce their taxes, and we have some ideas just for you
listed below:
 Housing: Owning a home is one of the most significant ways you can
reduce your tax bite. But don’t buy a house just to save on taxes. There
are many more important issues that should be considered, other than
tax savings, and we elaborate on these issues in Chapter 10.
You can deduct mortgage interest and real estate taxes on your home
even though you pay a portion of these expenses with tax-free BAH pay!
 Thrift Saving Plan (TSP): Another very useful and beneficial strategy
to reduce your taxes is to contribute to your TSP. More on retirement
savings options and strategies are found in Chapter 9.
 Education: You can invest money for your children’s education and save
taxes by utilizing 529 plans or Coverdell Education Savings Account. We
elaborate on these strategies in Chapter 9 as well.
Make sure that you have your tax return prepared by a professional who has
substantial experience serving military clientele. Many offer discounts to
military personnel — just ask!

Chapter 6

Taking Care of Yourself: Health
and Dental Insurance
In This Chapter

 Reviewing TRICARE plans

 Evaluating your options

 Accessing benefits

O

ne of the most significant financial benefits servicemembers and their
families receive from the military is healthcare. To emphasize just how
important healthcare benefits are, consider that nearly one-third of the
average retiree’s expenses are eaten up by healthcare costs. The amount
younger civilian families pay for healthcare is typically much less, but it’s still
hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars every year.
Less than 60 percent of the civilian workforce has medical insurance, and
far fewer have dental, vision or prescription drug coverage. When a civilian
retires she almost never has employer-provided health insurance, and even
if she does it’s not guaranteed to be around throughout her retirement years.
However, those employed in, or retired from, the armed forces and their
families have access to very affordable, quality healthcare and insurance
guaranteed for life by the U.S. government.
This chapter explains your family’s military healthcare plan choices, how to
determine which option is best for your family, and how to access benefits.

When we say family, we’re talking spouse, widow or widower (if not remarried), unmarried children under age 21 (under age 23 if a full-time student),
and dependent parents and in-laws. Also, former spouses qualify if they are
not remarried and they are not eligible for private medical insurance.

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Part II: Understanding Your Financial Issues and Benefits

Exploring TRICARE
Your family has three primary military healthcare programs to consider under
TRICARE. TRICARE gets its name from the three primary care plans that make
up the military health system. Participants in these plans are called beneficiaries. Servicemembers with family covered by TRICARE are referred to as sponsors. In the following section we hit the highlights of each plan and talk about
which plan might be best for your family’s needs and circumstances.

Breaking down the basic of TRICARE
When you explore your options with TRICARE, you need a basic understanding
of how it works and even some basic terminology. First, we give you an overview
of each of the three primary plans.
TRICARE consists of three primary care plans. Before we delve into the
details of each, here is a quick snapshot of each plan:
 TRICARE Standard provides you with the greatest flexibility to choose
healthcare providers, without a referral or pre-authorization, but it also
costs the most. It is available worldwide.
 TRICARE Extra is more restrictive and less expensive. You pay the same
annual deductibles as those with Standard; however your share of medical costs is 5 percent less. This plan is only available in the continental
United States (CONUS).
 TRICARE Prime is like an HMO and is geared toward preventive care. It
is the least expensive option, but your choice of healthcare providers is
limited. You pay nothing — or very little — under most circumstances.
All active-duty servicemembers and activated Guard and Reserve are
required to enroll in TRICARE Prime or one of the Prime options depending
on where they live and work. All other eligible beneficiaries may choose to
enroll in TRICARE Prime. If eligible beneficiaries don’t enroll in TRICARE
Prime, they are automatically covered by TRICARE Standard and Extra.
Here’s some terminology you might run into:
 Authorized healthcare providers may be part of a network of contracted
providers who accept TRICARE negotiated payments and file claims
for you.
 Other authorized healthcare providers are non-network providers, meaning they have no contract with TRICARE, and they limit their services to a
case-by-case basis. You may or may not be able to access TRICARE paid
services from authorized non-network providers. Be sure to ask before
receiving treatment.

Chapter 6: Taking Care of Yourself: Health and Dental Insurance
 Participating providers accept TRICARE benefits as payment in full, file
claims for you, and you won’t incur additional costs for their services.
 However, if they are non-participating providers they may charge you up
to 15% more than the TRICARE allowable charge. You’ll likely be responsible for paying for treatment at the time of service and filing your own
claims with TRICARE for reimbursement.
TRICARE will only pay for care provided by authorized providers.
Medicare certified hospitals must participate in TRICARE for inpatient
care. However, for outpatient care, providers have the choice whether
or not to become authorized providers.
To find out if your provider is TRICARE-authorized, check with your
regional TRICARE Service Center at http://tricare.mil/contactus.

TRICARE Standard
If you select TRICARE Standard you have the flexibility of using any TRICAREauthorized civilian doctor or hospital, or your local Military Treatment
Facility (MTF).
You may have to wait for treatment at your MTF, because TRICARE Prime
beneficiaries get priority. TRICARE Standard folks will be served on a spaceavailable basis.
With TRICARE Standard:
 You don’t have to pay for your coverage.
 You are responsible for annual deductibles of $50 or $100 per individual
and $150 or $300 per family per fiscal year depending on your sponsor’s
status and rank. However, when you receive treatment at your MTF, no
deductible applies.
 If your sponsor is active-duty or an activated member of the Guard or
Reserve your share of outpatient, clinical preventive and emergency
services are 20 percent, up to $1,000 per family per year. All other
eligible beneficiaries pay 25 percent of allowable charges incurred after
the annual deductible is met.
 Your cost for hospitalization is $15.15 per day, subject to a $25 minimum, if your sponsor is active-duty or an activated member of the
Guard or Reserve. All other eligible beneficiaries pay the lesser of $535
per day, or 25 percent of the cost of hospitalization, plus 25 percent for
any additional professional services, that aren’t included in your bill
from the hospital.
 TRICARE Standard is available to everyone who is eligible for TRICARE
benefits, except active-duty servicemembers, activated Guard, and
Reserve and dependent parents and in-laws.

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Part II: Understanding Your Financial Issues and Benefits
 Referrals are not required; however, you may be required to obtain
authorization for certain medical treatments and services. Check with
your regional Service Center for verification.
 Be aware that many non-network providers will not file a TRICARE
Standard claim on your behalf. It is your responsibility to pay the healthcare provider and then apply for reimbursement from TRICARE.
 You should file your TRICARE Standard claim immediately after services
are rendered. Use DD Form 2642 when filing claims. For assistance completing the claim form, consult your regional TRICARE Service Center.
Once the claim form is completed, mail one form per envelope to your
regional TRICARE Service Center.
For the complete list of contact information and the mailing address for your
regional TRICARE Service Center visit http://tricare.mil/contactus.

TRICARE Extra
TRICARE Extra is the military’s PPO, or preferred provider option. It is available to all people eligible for TRICARE coverage in the continental United
States, except active-duty servicemembers and activated Guard and Reserve.
If you opt for TRICARE Extra, you may select civilian physicians and healthcare providers from a network of authorized managed care support contractors. Your provider choices are more limited than with TRICARE Standard;
however, you’re responsible for fewer costs.
With TRICARE Extra:
 You don’t have to pay for your coverage.
 You are responsible for annual deductibles of $50 or $100 per individual
and $150 or $300 per family per fiscal year depending on your sponsor’s
status and rank. However, when you receive treatment at your MTF
there is no deductible.
 If your sponsor is active-duty or an activated member of the Guard or
Reserve, your share of outpatient, clinical preventive and emergency
services are 20 percent, up to $1,000 per family per year. All other eligible beneficiaries pay 20 percent of the allowable charges incurred after
the annual deductible is met.
 Your cost for hospitalization is $15.15 per day, subject to a $25 minimum
if your sponsor is active-duty or an activated member of the Guard or
Reserve. All other eligible beneficiaries pay the lesser of $250 per day,
or 25 percent of the cost of hospitalization, plus 20 percent for any additional professional care services that aren’t included in your bill from
the hospital.

Chapter 6: Taking Care of Yourself: Health and Dental Insurance
 TRICARE Extra is available within the continental United States to everyone who is eligible for TRICARE benefits, except active-duty servicemembers, activated Guard and Reserve, and dependent parents and in-laws.
 Under TRICARE Extra your healthcare provider files your claim forms
for you when you receive treatment, and you may still receive care from
your military treatment facility; however, it’s on a space-available basis
only.
 Referrals are not required; however, you may be required to obtain
authorization for certain medical treatments and services. Check with
your regional Service Center for verification.
The major difference between Standard and Extra is that your share of the
cost after you’ve paid your annual deductible is 5 percent less with Extra. And
your healthcare provider must be part of the network.

TRICARE Prime
If you’re like most military families TRICARE Prime is your best choice of healthcare plans. It’s the lowest cost option, but there are a few limitations. It’s kind of
like a civilian’s HMO. You can save a lot of money, you never have to file insurance claim forms, but you do have restrictions on your choices of doctors and
hospitals. And TRICARE Prime may not be available where you live.
Active-duty servicemembers are automatically enrolled in TRICARE Prime
when registered with DEERS.
For a listing of Military Treatment Facilities, hours, contact information, and
summary of services visit http://www.tricare.mil/mtf. For a directory
of TRICARE providers, visit www.tricare.osd.mil/providerdirectory.
And you can update information directly at the TRICARE website at http://
www.tricare.osd.mil/deers.
As a TRICARE Prime beneficiary:
 You see doctors and medical personnel at your local military treatment
facility MTF.
 You are assigned a primary care manager (PCM) who is your personal
medical care provider and advisor. They provide routine healthcare,
coordinate referrals to specialists, assist with prior authorizations, and
maintain your healthcare records.
When your primary care manager provides you with a referral to a specialist, they also file the referral with TRICARE. The specialist to whom
you are referred will contact TRICARE to obtain authorization. TRICARE
must authorize certain medical treatments and procedures before you
receive care.

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As a TRICARE Prime beneficiary you should always consult with your
primary care manager at your military treatment facility before receiving
medical treatment from any specialist or other healthcare provider —
unless of course — you or a family member are experiencing a healthcare
emergency.
 You have first priority for appointments at military treatment facilities.
And, if for some reason, MTF care is not available, your primary care
manager will refer you to a TRICARE network provider.
 Active-duty servicemembers, as well as Guard and Reserve members
and their eligible family members, are not subject to any charges if they
are directed to a network provider or referred to a non-network provider
by their primary care manager.
 If you happen to need hospitalization, there is a nominal charge at military treatment facilities. Check with your local MTF for specific details.
If your primary care manager directs your active-duty servicemember
or activated Guard or Reserve member to a TRICARE provider for hospitalization, you should incur no cost. However, you and all other eligible
TRICARE Prime beneficiaries will be charged $11 per day, subject to a
$25 minimum.
 Services of a non-network provider without a referral from your primary
care manager may be accessed through your Point of Service option of
TRICARE Prime. The Point of Service option is not available to activeduty servicemembers. You are subject to a deductible of $300 per
individual and $600 for the family each fiscal year, and 50 percent of all
allowable charges beyond that point. There is no annual maximum
out-of-pocket cost for Point of Service charges.
 If you don’t get authorization before (non-emergency) treatment —
you’ll get smacked with some very hefty medical expenses!
 Eligible family member must each be enrolled individually. Refer to
Chapter 3 for details on initial enrollments and updating your information
as necessary.
If you have health insurance provided through civilian employment you
should review all plan options. TRICARE Prime may not be your best option
when you have other health insurance.
If you work through your primary care manager to supervise and coordinate your family’s healthcare, if you avoid using services from a healthcare
provider without a referral and authorization, and if care is available in your
area, you can receive great healthcare all paid for by the government.

Chapter 6: Taking Care of Yourself: Health and Dental Insurance
TRICARE Prime Remote
If you live more than 50 miles away from the military treatment facility your
family can still participate in a program very similar to TRICARE Prime — it’s
called TRICARE Prime Remote. The only difference is the medical professionals providing your care. Instead of obtaining treatment at your local military
treatment facility, you see a local civilian healthcare provider who is part of
the TRICARE authorized network.
Activated Guard and Reserve members and their families meeting the same
distance requirements are also eligible for TRICARE Prime Remote.
For more information about TRICARE Prime Remote call 888-363-2273 or visit
http://mybenefit/home/overview/Plans/PrimeRemote.

TRICARE Prime Overseas
This program works the same as TRICARE Prime in areas where there are
military medical facilities and a network of civilian providers.
If a provider is not available in your location, you may have your share of
Point of Service costs waived by getting your primary care manager to refer
you to a Regional Medical Service Center, which is a TRICARE authorized
healthcare provider. But the Point of Service option is not available to
active-duty servicemembers or activated Guard or Reserve members.
For assistance with TRICARE Prime Overseas, call 888-777-8343 or visit
http://mybenefit/home/overview/Plans/PrimeOverseas.

Vision benefits
TRICARE Prime participants (age three and older — although special rules
apply for newborns and infants or if you or a family member has diabetes)
are also entitled to vision benefits, including comprehensive eye exams
once every two years. You don’t even have to work through your primary
care manager for a referral or authorization unless you can’t or don’t want
to see a network provider. TRICARE covers some surgeries and treatments
for diseases and conditions of the eyes. You can even get free eyeglasses
from your local military treatment facility.
Vision exams are only provided to servicemembers and their families
who have TRICARE Prime coverage. Those families covered by TRICARE
Standard or Extra are not eligible unless the exam is necessary due to a
covered medical condition.
For additional information about all military health programs, visit the
TRICARE website at http://www.tricare.osd.mil or call 877-363-6337.

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Prescription drug coverage
If you, your servicemember, or any of your family members have TRICARE
health benefits, you are eligible for TRICARE’s Prescription Drug plan. The
prescription drug coverage is the same for all military healthcare plans, and
it is available worldwide.
You can use one of the following ways to have your prescriptions filled:
 Military pharmacy: The military treatment facility pharmacy is your
best option if your prescription is available at the MTF. You can get a
90-day supply at no cost. It’s a good idea to call ahead to verify that your
prescription is available.
 Mail-order pharmacies: Mail order is a great alternative if your prescription drug isn’t available through the MTF. You can save a lot of money,
but you do have to plan in advance — note the key words “mail order.”
Depending on the pharmacy, the mail service, and your location it could
take several days to receive your prescription. For more information
visit the TRICARE Mail Order Pharmacy Program online at http://
www.express-scripts.com/TRICARE.
 Network pharmacies: If you need your prescription filled immediately and it’s not carried by your local MTF, your best option is to
obtain it through a network pharmacy. There are over 54,000 network pharmacies in the United States and in U.S. territories. To
find a network pharmacies check out http://member.expressscripts.com/web/pharmacyLocator/openPharmacyLocator.
do?portal=dodCustom&net=1991.
 Non-network pharmacies: Lastly, your more expensive option is nonnetwork pharmacies. Fortunately, it is highly unlikely that you would
have to utilize a non-network pharmacy given appropriate notice.
Prescription drugs can take a substantial bite out of your budget. Make certain
that you fully utilize all of your military benefits by taking advantage of the
TRICARE Prescription Drug program.

Summarizing healthcare options
Selecting the TRICARE plan best for your family essentially boils down to:
Whether TRICARE Prime is available in your area, and
Whether access to your personal physician is worth the additional expense
We’ve included some common situations that might help steer you into the
right direction of which plan to choose:

Chapter 6: Taking Care of Yourself: Health and Dental Insurance
 The more flexibility you need or desire, the more expensive your healthcare. Also, if you want priority access to your military treatment facility,
then TRICARE Prime is the plan for you!
 If you’re really attached to your doctor and you’re not subject to relocating, TRICARE Standard might be the best fit for you, but only if your
doctor isn’t a participating network provider in TRICARE. If they are, you
could save a little money with TRICARE Extra. Ask your doctor or refer
to the network provider list.
 If you live on or near a military installation and don’t currently have a
doctor or a strong attachment to your primary physician, TRICARE Prime
is the way to go! You’ll save a lot of money, receive prompt and quality
care at your local MTF — and well — what else do you really need?

Enrolling in TRICARE
Active-duty servicemembers and activated Guard and Reserve must enroll
in one of the TRICARE Prime options. All other eligible family members may
choose to enroll in TRICARE Prime — if available in your area — or you may
use one of TRICARE’s other health plan options. For everything you need
to know about enrolling in TRICARE visit https://www.hnfs.net/bene/
enrollment/enrollment_activities_current_beneficiaries.htm.
Enrollment is not necessary for TRICARE Standard or Extra! Coverage is
automatic if you remain eligible through DEERS. Refer to Chapter 3 for more
information on DEERS.
If you have access to the Internet, the easiest way to enroll is online at
http://www.tricare.mil/mybenefit/home/Medical. Because you’ll
need certain information to complete your enrollment application whether
you’re enrolling online, mailing your enrollment application to your Regional
Contractor, or submitting your enrollment application to the TRICARE Service
Center representative in your area, go to the Web site and follow these steps:
1. Establish your profile. Click on the link entitled My Profile in the
top left-hand corner and answer some brief questions about your
servicemember’s status and your geographical location.
2. Click on Enrollment at the top of the next screen. From the
Enrollment page you can download enrollment applications and look up
TRICARE Service Centers and Regional Contractors.
To enroll online you will need to have your “myPay PIN” or a valid, Common
Access Card (CAC) and have your active-duty servicemember establish a
Family Member Account (for active-duty personnel only). Your servicemember must log in to the Family Account Manager with his or her CAC and select
which family members are to receive a family account. This creates a separate

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account for each eligible family member. Family members can then log onto
the site with their unique Family Account number.
Once you’re logged into the site you can complete your TRICARE enrollment,
update your address, and change your primary care manager.
If you prefer to mail in your enrollment application, you’ll need to obtain
a copy of the application from the above-mentioned website or have your
regional contractor mail you an application kit. Complete the application,
sign it, and mail it back to your regional contractor.
You may find it most convenient just to drop by your local TRICARE Service
Center, pick up a copy of your enrollment application and primary care manager change form, complete the form on the spot, and return the completed
form to a service center representative.
After your application has been processed you will receive a package by mail,
including a welcome letter identifying your primary care manager, if one has
been assigned to you, and enrollment card for each family member that you
enrolled. You’ll also receive a copy of the TRICARE handbook.
You should keep a copy of your enrollment application until you receive your
military ID cards, which state your TRICARE eligibility on the back. If you need
nonemergency medical treatment before you receive your ID cards, be sure to
contact your Regional Contractor to verify that you have coverage and determine who has been assigned as your primary care manager. Remember to
contact your primary care manager before seeking treatment.

Sizing up TRICARE Health Benefits
for the Guard and Reserve
Your family has three primary military healthcare programs to consider if your
Guard or Reserve servicemember is activated for more than 30 consecutive
days. Those options include TRICARE Standard, Extra, and Prime.

Checking the basics of your options
 TRICARE Standard provides you with the greatest flexibility to choose
healthcare providers, without a referral or pre-authorization, but it also
costs the most. This program is available worldwide.

Chapter 6: Taking Care of Yourself: Health and Dental Insurance
 TRICARE Extra is more restrictive and less expensive. You pay the same
annual deductibles as those with Standard; however, your share of
the medical cost is 5 percent less. It is only available in the continental
United States (CONUS).
 TRICARE Prime is like an HMO and is geared toward preventive care. It
is the least expensive option, but your choice of healthcare providers is
limited. You pay nothing — or very little — under most circumstances.
Here are some facts that cover all plans:
 Your activated servicemember is eligible for TRICARE Prime, Prime
Remote, or Prime Overseas, depending on their location.
 Your maximum annual out-of-pocket cost is $1,000 for your family.
 You can get dental benefits.
 If your servicemember is not currently activated for more than 30 consecutive days or is not a member of the Selected Reserve, you and your
family are not eligible for TRICARE benefits.

TRICARE Reserve Select
TRICARE Reserve Select is available worldwide to most Selected Reserve
members and their families while not on active duty. You have the freedom
to manage your own healthcare and utilize any TRICARE authorized provider.
You may also access care at a military treatment facility.
With TRICARE Reserve Select:
 The current premium for servicemember and family coverage is $253
per month.
 There is also an annual deductible of $50 or $150 per individual and
$100 or $300 for the family each fiscal year, except when you receive
treatment at an MTF and then no deductible applies. The ranges are
dependent on your servicemember’s rank. E-4 and below pay the lesser
deductible, while E-5 and above pay the higher deductible.
 Your share of most medical services, devices, and supplies including
outpatient, clinical preventive, laboratory and X-Ray, maternity, ambulance, and emergency services are 15 percent of allowable charges if
approved and provided by a network provider. If services are rendered
by a non-network provider, your share of allowable charges is 20
percent.
 Your cost for hospitalization, newborn care, or inpatient skilled nursing
treatment is $15.15 per day, subject to a $25 minimum.

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 In most cases, there is minimal or no cost to access treatment at a
military treatment facility. However you may have to wait awhile since
treatment is provided on a space-available basis only.
 You generally have to pay for services when they are rendered and seek
reimbursement by submitting a claim form to TRICARE Reserve Select.
TRICARE Reserve Select may be an excellent option if you are eligible.
This military healthcare program provides comprehensive healthcare at
a reasonable cost and includes the TRICARE Prescription Drug coverage.
Refer to the section “Prescription drug coverage,” earlier in this chapter for
more information on the drug plan.
For more information visit http://www.defenselink.mil/ra/html/
tricare.html.

Understanding Dental Benefits
The TRICARE Dental Plan (TDP) is dental insurance and is available to you and
your family if your servicemember is active-duty or activated Guard or Reserve.
Active-duty servicemembers and activated Guard and Reserve members are
not eligible for the TRICARE Dental Plan, but don’t you worry; they receive
free dental care from the military dental treatment facilities.
Before you check out the coverage in Table 6-1, keep the following facts
about TDP in mind:
 For you and your eligible family members, the monthly premiums for
TDP are $11.58 for one person and $28.95 for two or more family members. The first monthly premium is due upon enrollment, but going forward you’ll likely want to have the ongoing monthly premiums deducted
from your servicemember’s pay as a discretionary allotment.
 The maximum annual benefit any one beneficiary can receive is $1,200.
The lifetime maximum orthodontic benefit is $1,500 per beneficiary.
 Once enrolled in TDP you must continue the coverage — and pay premiums – for at least 12 months. After that, your enrollment commitment is
only month to month.
 If your spouse is in the National Guard or Reserves you, your servicemember, and your kids can enroll in the TRICARE Dental Plan. Contact
United Concordia Companies at 888-622-2256 for specific details or
enroll online at www.UCCI.com.

Chapter 6: Taking Care of Yourself: Health and Dental Insurance
 The TRICARE dental plan covers all of the costs for diagnostic, emergency, and preventive services. Table 6-1 illustrates your cost — based
on your servicemember’s status and rank — should you or your children
need any of these services.

Table 6-1

Breakdown of the TRICARE dental plan

Services

E1-E4
CONUS

E5 +
CONUS

All pay
grades
OCONUS

Office visit, Basic restorative,
Post surgical services, and
Sealants

20%

20%

0%

Endodontic, Periodontal, and
Oral Surgery

30%

40%

0%

General anesthesia

40%

40%

0%

Orthodontic (limitations
apply), Non-basic restorative,
Implants, and Miscellaneous
services (not available
OCONUS)

50%

50%

50%

For more information visit www.TRICAREdentalprogram.com, or call 800866-8499 if you’re in the continental United States or 888-418-0466 OCONUS.

Explaining Your Benefits
As a TRICARE beneficiary you receive statements – also known as an EOB
or Explanation of Benefits – which look a lot like a bill. These EOBs are
sent to you shortly after TRICARE receives a claim request. Your EOB lists
details about the claim that was submitted, the allowable amount, how
much TRICARE paid, if there was other insurance, and how much you are
responsible for paying.
You’re also provided with information about how much your individual and
family deductibles are each year and how much of that deductible you have
met as of the EOB statement date.
It is very important that you review each Explanation of Benefit statement
immediately upon receipt to make sure the information is correct. If you
have any questions about information reported on your EOB, contact your
healthcare administrator immediately.

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Chapter 7

Maximizing Military Benefits
In This Chapter

 Getting assistance with military life

 Flying and staying in the U.S. and around the world

 Evaluating your benefit options

 Checking out your retirement benefits

Y

our family’s military compensation goes beyond just your servicemember’s base pay. The military provides a number of significant monetary
benefits, including free relocation assistance, financial counseling, and legal
services. These benefits alone can be worth thousands of dollars to you and
your family. In this chapter we highlight the major financial benefits, beyond
your paycheck and your health and dental benefits, and discuss how to
access and maximize those benefits.

Tapping into the Family Support Center
The average military family moves about once every three years. The Family
Support Center is available to help you assimilate into your new community —
whether it is your first station or your fourth — the Family Support Center is a
great resource when you’re new to “town.”
Centers are available on all installations to assist in your transition and help
you with any questions that you may have. The centers are staffed with
people who’ve been through transitions, deployments, and reunions. They
have spouses in the service and kids in the local schools. They are information central when it comes to what’s going on in “town.” The center staff can
help you locate day care, get you the scoop on schools, provide you with the
rundown on recreation programs to help the kids meet new friends, and fill
you in on all the activities and events that you need to know about as a new
member of the community.

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The Family Support Center is command central for family support information,
benefits, and programs. Take advantage of this resource on your military
installation.
To find your local Family Support Center visit www.militaryinstallations.
dod.mil.

Accessing Military OneSource
If you need assistance or support beyond what may be available through
your local Family Support Center, or at a time when the center isn’t open, you
can also tap into the Military OneSource service. They have trained specialists who can assist you in virtually all areas of military family life. The subject
matter covered ranges from transitioning and relocation, pre- and postdeployment issues, military benefits, financial matters, and much more.
Military OneSource hotline is available 24/7 to all active-duty servicemembers,
Guard, and Reserve and their immediate family members.
If you’ve got questions about local schools or how to arrange a vacation with
military lodging and transportation or your five year old is having nightmares
because his daddy is away, stop by your local Family Support Center or call
the Military OneSource at 800-342-9647. This is what they’re there for — and
so much more — at no cost to you!

Traveling Space-A
Join the service and see the world! There’s a lot of truth to that statement if
you want to make it happen. Your family can travel for free with the military’s
special travel benefits — but there’s a little art and luck involved.
Space-available flights, also known as, space-A flights enable you, your
servicemember, and family to take advantage of the unused seats on
Department of Defense aircraft.
Space-A flights can be of great value, but you need to have some flexibility, know the rules, and do some research ahead of time. Unfortunately,
there’s no publicly available online central booking system for space-A, like
Travelocity. But if you have access to a military computer you can login
to the Joint Operational Support Airlift Center (OSA) at https://josac.
tanscom.mil/newfltschedules.htm and check the daily OSA spaceavailable flight schedule.

Chapter 7: Maximizing Military Benefits
There are several ways to sign up for a space-A flight:
 You can sign up online at www.spacea.info/signup.
 Fax your request on an Air Mobility Command Form 140 (available at
http://www.spacea.info/signup/amc140.pdf to the installation
near you that provides space-A travel).
When considering space-A travel, keep the following in mind:
 Be prepared to wait. Space-A travelers are never guaranteed a seat, and
you may spend a lot of time in the terminals waiting to see if you can get
on a flight at all. Bring some snacks and reading material!
 Forget luxury. If you do get a flight it might be on a cargo plane not really
designed for passengers. Needless to say, it can be difficult to travel on a
space-available basis with your family. However, we wouldn’t be wasting
your time telling you about space-A travel if it wasn’t worth it!
 Remember the requirements. To take advantage of space-A travel,
your servicemember must be on leave at the time they submit a
travel request and remain on leave status throughout the travel time
requested.
 Do your homework. To successfully travel on a space-available basis,
spend some time doing a little homework and try to be as flexible as
possible on your dates and destinations. That way you can make the
most of this wonderful military benefit!
Traveling on a space-available basis is dictated by your eligibility and priority
level. First, there has to be empty seats. Then priority is given in the following
order:
Category I – Dependent on Emergency leave
Category II — Environmental Morale Leave (EML)
Category III — Active Duty on Ordinary Leave/House Hunting
Category IV — (EML) Unaccompanied Dependents
Category V — Permissive TDY/Students/Overseas Command —
Sponsored Dependents
Category VI — Retired Military, Guard, and Reserves

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Looking into Lodging Bargains
As a military family you can access lodging on bases, at temporary housing
facilities, and hotels, resorts, and guesthouses all around the world. There
are more than 400 military installations offering temporary lodging facilities
and thousands of other temporary military lodging around the world.
Each branch of the service has its own special lodging programs and discounts. However, servicemembers and their families aren’t restricted to just
their branch of the Armed Forces. For more information contact your Family
Support Center or visit http://www.temporarymilitarylodging.net.

Protecting Your Rights — Legal Issues
As a military family you have many legal rights and protections.
Unfortunately, laws had to be passed to help ensure that your rights are
upheld and protected. Fortunately, the Armed Services extend a helping hand
with legal issues, and we break down those issues as well as how to find legal
help in the following sections.

Getting the lowdown on the law
The Servicemember’s Civil Relief Act (SCRA) is the body of law that helps
insure your family’s legal rights. The law covers all active-duty servicemembers, activated Guard and Reserve, and their dependent family members.
These laws were put in place to allow your servicemember to focus on their
job and minimize undue financial hardship on your family. To further minimize hardship on your family, the Armed Services provides legal assistance
to all active-duty, Guard and Reserve members, and their dependent family
members.
Below we list the highlights of SCRA that you need know:
 Limit on interest rates: Interest rates that you must pay on any loan or debt
that you had prior to going on active duty are limited to no more than 6 percent a year. However, this cap on your interest rates is not automatic. You
must notify your lender in writing requesting this benefit.
 Stay of proceedings: If you’re involved in a lawsuit you can request a
delay, if the delay is necessary due to your servicemember’s service.
 Statute of limitations: Your active-duty servicemember’s service to our
country will not be taken into account when determining the statute of
limitations on legal proceedings brought by or against you.

Chapter 7: Maximizing Military Benefits
 Health insurance reinstatement: If you have health insurance prior to
reporting to active duty, SCRA requires your civilian health insurance
company to reinstate your coverage when your servicemember
completes their service.
 Home foreclosure protection: Your mortgage company can’t foreclose on
you if you have a mortgage prior to active duty and you can illustrate that
military service is the reason you can’t afford to make your mortgage
payment.
 Eviction protection: Your landlord also has to be more flexible if you are
renting your home and can’t keep up with your rent payments because
of your servicemember’s duty.
 Business lease termination: You can terminate a business lease contract that you or your spouse had prior to active duty if reporting to
duty would make continuing that lease unreasonable.
That doesn’t mean you can walk away from back payments or that
you’re off the hook the day active-duty orders are issued. You’re still
responsible for all past and, in most cases, through the end of the next
month.
And be sure the lease holder gives written notice to the landlord! If your
servicemember is the leaseholder and they’re deployed overseas or for
some other reason unavailable, you want to have power of attorney in
place so you can handle this! Your Legal Assistance Center attorney can
draft a power of attorney for your servicemember.
 Eliminates double taxation: If you work in one state, but your legal
residence is in a different state, SCRA prevents the state in which you’re
employed from taxing your income. Only your state of residence may
tax your income. Hopefully your legal residence is one of the few states
without state income tax.
In addition to the protections provided under SCRA, Guard and Reserve families and servicemembers receive additional protections under the Uniformed
Services Employment and Reemployment Rights Act (USERRA). One of the
major provisions under USERRA is a law that requires employers to reemploy
Guard and Reserve members when they return from deployment, under
most cases. Not only is the employer required to reemploy servicemembers
returning to the civilian work force, but employers must also reemploy
servicemembers in a position comparable to the one they had prior to going
on active duty.

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Finding legal assistance
Consult with your Legal Assistance Center if you’re having trouble meeting
your financial obligations or if you have any questions or concerns about any
of your rights under the laws. There are a lot of nuances to these laws, but
fortunately the Legal Assistance Centers are here to assist you — at no cost —
it’s all part of your military benefits.
In addition to answering questions about your legal rights and protections,
your Legal Assistance Center can assist you by drafting a will, healthcare
directives, and powers of attorney. Legal assistance attorneys can also
answer questions and give advice about your income taxes or any other
personal legal issue.
To find a Legal Assistance Center near you visit http://legalassistance.
law.af.mil/content/locator.php.

Reviewing Your Military-Provided
Life Insurance
The military provides servicemembers and their family members with
access to high-quality, affordable group life insurance programs. In the
following sections we highlight the major features and benefits of each of
these programs.

Servicemembers’ group life insurance
Servicemembers Group Life Insurance (SGLI) is available to all active-duty
servicemembers and members of the Guard and Reserve. Servicemembers
are automatically covered for $400,000 of death benefits. The monthly cost
for coverage is $29 and is automatically deducted from their pay. The premium cost to insure your Reservist who is not on active duty is $25 per year
for $250,000 of insurance.
If servicemembers determine that they need less coverage or decide to
decline coverage entirely because they have no need for life insurance, which
is highly unlikely, or they have alternative coverage, servicemembers must
complete the SGLI Election and Certificate Form 3286 to reduce or cancel
coverage.

Chapter 7: Maximizing Military Benefits
SGLI has a couple of major benefits:
 The premiums stay level for the duration of servicemembers’ military
careers.
 Servicemembers can convert to Veteran’s Group Life Insurance (VGLI) —
with no medical underwriting — upon transitioning from the military. So, if
servicemembers have health concerns upon transitioning from the military
this VGLI conversion benefit is a major deal! However, if servicemembers
are healthy, they very likely can obtain more cost-effective life insurance
through other insurance companies.
Conversion from SGLI to VGLI must take place within 120 days of service to
avoid medical underwriting.
Perhaps $400,000 sounds like more than enough life insurance to support you
and your family should something happen to your spouse. But if you have one
or more young children, it’s highly likely that you’ll need additional life insurance coverage on your servicemember. In Chapter 8 we explore how to compute exactly how much life insurance your family needs. It is not uncommon
that your family will need more than $400,000 worth of life insurance, but that’s
the maximum your spouse can qualify for through SGLI. Fortunately there are
some military friendly (that is, they don’t have a war clause) life insurance
companies through which you can obtain additional life insurance coverage.
Check out the following web sites for additional information:
 www.AFBA.com
 www.AAFMAA.com (Army and Air Force)
 www.navymutual.org (Navy and Marines)
 www.MOAA.org (officers)
 www.USAA.com
 www.USBA.com

Traumatic SGLI
In addition to the $29 per month for $400,000 of Servicemember’s Group Life
Insurance (for more on SGLI, check out the section above, “Servicemembers’
group life insurance”), a $1 per month premium is automatically included for
Traumatic Injury Protection coverage. Traumatic Injury Protection is mandatory
coverage.
Traumatic Injury Protection provides a benefit between $25,000 and $100,000
if your servicemember sustains one of the following traumatic injuries:

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 Loss of sight, speech, or hearing
 Loss of one hand or foot, or a major injury to the hand
 Severe paralysis, burns, or brain injury

Family service group life insurance
Families Servicemembers Group Life Insurance (FSGLI) is just like it sounds.
It is a life insurance program for you and your dependent children if your
spouse is insured under the SGLI program.
You can purchase up to $100,000 of coverage for yourself and up to $10,000
for each of your dependent children. The cost of your coverage if you’re
under age 35 is only $5.50 a month. The premium increases every five years;
however the cost is still very competitive through at least age 50. There is no
cost for coverage for eligible dependent children.
For more information on Family Servicemembers Group Life Insurance visit
www.insurance.va.gov/sgliSite/fsgli/sglifam.htm.

Exploring Your Retirement Benefits
Unlike any other employer, the U.S. government provides full retirement benefits if you’ve served in the Armed Forces for 20 years or more. Imagine: You
and your servicemember could be in your late 30s or early 40s and receive
one half of your servicemember’s base pay for the rest of your lives. That
additional income provides you with opportunities that other people can
only dream of at that stage in life.
The financial value of these retirement benefits alone could easily be worth
more than $500,000. It would take savings of about $13,000 per year to accumulate that sum of money in 20 years.

Finding out how retirement
benefits are calculated
Servicemembers are eligible to receive a monthly retirement paycheck equal
to 50 percent of their highest 36 months average base pay if they retire after
20 years of service. At 30 years of service the retirement benefit increases to
75 percent of the highest 36 months average base pay.

Chapter 7: Maximizing Military Benefits
Basic pay used to calculate retirement benefits for members who entered
service prior to September 8, 1980 is final basic pay, rather than the average
of the highest 36 months of basic pay.
This retirement benefit is calculated by multiplying the number of years of
service times 2.5%per year.
 20 years × 2.5 = 50%
 25 years × 2.5 = 62.5%
 30 years × 2.5 = 75%
An extraordinary feature of your retirement benefit is the cost-of-living
adjustment equal to the national consumer price index (CPI). So, every year
you might receive a cost-of-living raise in your retirement paycheck. The only
reason we say “might” is because it is possible for the CPI to stay level or go
down in a given year. However, it almost always goes up, usually between
one and 3 percent per year.
There is another way to calculate your retirement benefits. This program is
called the Career Status Bonus, also known as, CSB/REDUX. This retirement
program is more complicated than the standard retirement system mentioned
above, and for the majority of servicemembers this program does not make
sense.
In the CSB/REDUX system, your benefits are based on a multiplier of 2 percent
per year times the number of years of service beginning at 20 years. So your
military benefit at 20 years would only be 40 percent of your final base pay.
Why would anyone be inclined to accept 40% when they could have 50%? Well,
a bonus check of $30,000 can induce many people into taking this reduced
monthly benefit. And by the way, not only do you receive a reduced monthly
benefit, but your cost-of-living adjustment is also reduced by 1 percent per
year.
When servicemembers reach their 15th year of service they must choose
between taking the CSB/REDUX and the traditional military retirement program.
Choosing a retirement program is a huge decision and can be extremely costly
if you make the wrong choice for your family. Although CSB/REDUX can be
hazardous to your financial well-being, there are times when the CSB/REDUX
program may be appropriate as long as you tread carefully. Refer to Chapter
20 for additional considerations to think about with regard the Career Status
Bonus decision. For great information and helpful calculators on the military
retirement plan visit http://www.defenselink.mil/militarypay/
retirement.

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Chapter 8

Starting Out on the Right
Financial Foot
In This Chapter

 Exploring the fundamentals of personal finance

 Evaluating what you must have

 Protecting your family against common risks

 Beginning your investment portfolio

Y

our family is either in the midst of or embarking on a new military career
and just getting by financially, but now you’re ready to dedicate your
energy to get your financial house in order. Order and discipline — it’s the
military way! And those characteristics are extremely helpful in building and
maintaining a successful personal financial life. In this chapter, we cover all the
essential issues you face financially and provide you with the guidance that —
along with your discipline — enables you to achieve a rock solid financial
foundation.

Determining Your Required
Monthly Expenses
What amount of money do you really need to live on? The appropriate
answers don’t sound like — I need the latest cellphone. We’re really talking
about food, clothing, shelter, medical care, and insurance that we must have.
Most of these required expenses are provided by, or supplemented by, the
military.

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The following is a list of the types of required expenses incurred by a typical
military family.
 Shelter:
• Home mortgage or rent
• Utilities: electric, gas, water, sewer, trash pickup, and basic
telephone service
 Protection: Life, disability, homeowners, renters, health, and auto
insurance
 Healthcare/medical and dental care
 Prescription drugs
 Childcare
 Savings: minimum of 10 percent of gross income
 Food:
• Groceries: basic essentials only
 Clothing and clothing maintenance
 Basic hygiene:
• Personal: toothpaste, deodorant, haircuts
• Household: laundry detergent, toilet paper
 Transportation:
• Automobile loan or lease payment
• Auto maintenance
• Gasoline
• Other: tolls, parking, public transportation
 Legal requirements:
• Real estate and property taxes
• Child support
• Alimony
• Other debts: school loans, personal loans, credit cards, and so on
You may notice that some of your family’s monthly expenses don’t appear on
the above list. That could be due to an oversight on our part, or more likely,
it’s because these expenses are not required expenses.

Chapter 8: Starting Out on the Right Financial Foot
You won’t find an expense category for dining-out, entertainment, subscriptions, health club memberships, summer camp, birthdays, charitable
contributions, cable television, or mobile phones. These types of expenses,
although very common and convenient, are discretionary expenses.
The above list contains items that are required to sustain life, or keep you
from going to jail, if you don’t pay those bills. All other expenses are discretionary — in other words — you choose how to spend, or if to spend, any
money on these items.

Making it automatic
We strongly recommend that you utilize the allotment feature of your military paycheck to automatically have required monthly expenses deducted
from your pay before the balance is deposited into your checking account.
Use allotments to pay for as many of your required monthly living expenses
as possible. Utilizing allotments provides you with two great benefits:
 Your savings and investments happen automatically before you have the
opportunity to spend the money.
 Your bills get paid automatically, so you never have to worry about
being late on a payment because you’re PCSing, or just busy doing more
enjoyable things than paying bills.
Discretionary allotments can include the following:
 Commercial insurance premiums
 Thrift Savings Plan and other investment contributions
 Mortgage or rent payments
 Auto and student loans
Nondiscretionary allotments include the following:
 Purchase of U.S. savings bonds
 Child support payments
 Delinquent taxes
To sign up for or change your allotments, complete and submit DD Form 2558
to your Assigned Pay Office.

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You may find that you have more regularly occurring required monthly
expenses than you are allowed to pay through your discretionary allotments.
If that is the case, you can do the next best thing by setting up automatic
monthly withdrawals from your checking account to cover the balance of
these expenses automatically.

Establishing Emergency Reserves
If you get into a car accident, your dear sister needs a helping hand, or your
tree falls on your neighbor’s fence, where are you going to get the money to
resolve these problems? The best answer is — your emergency reserves.

Recognizing the reality
of not having reserves
Unfortunately, without having easy access to cash in your checking or savings
accounts, or a money market mutual fund to take care of legitimate emergencies; you might have to tap alternatives that aren’t nearly as appropriate or
financially attractive. Maybe parents or other family members can bail you out.
Maybe you can get a home equity line of credit or borrow against your 401(k)
or Thrift Savings Plan. Possibly the only option is credit cards or payday loans.
Payday loans are the (legal) lender of last resort. You should exhaust all
options before even thinking about a payday loan!

Reserving funds for financial emergencies
The best strategy to protect your family from unforeseen financial emergencies is to establish adequate emergency reserves. The most common types
of accounts to consider are savings accounts, money market accounts, and
money market mutual funds.
We list some ways to get started that you should consider when establishing
your emergency reserves:
 A great place to get started with an emergency reserve account is the
bank that you use for checking.

Chapter 8: Starting Out on the Right Financial Foot
 As a military family you may find it most convenient to work with a
national bank that has branches in most cities. However with today’s
online banking options, you may get better pricing and more personal
attention working with the community bank or credit union, such as the
Pentagon Federal Credit Union http://www.penfed.org.
 You can open a savings or money market account at a bank or credit
union with as little as $100 to $500.
 You can start an emergency reserve account online through an online
bank such as ING Direct (http://www.INGdirect.com). They have
very competitive rates on their Orange Savings account — and it’s very
easy to open and make additions and withdrawals to the account online.
You can open this account with as little as one dollar, add contributions to the account anytime you want, and when you need tap into this
reserve account you can do so online very simply by transferring money
directly into your checking account.
The age-old question is: How much money should you keep in your emergency reserve accounts? Well, that depends entirely on your comfort level
and the security of your income. We are extremely confident that the U.S.
government is going to be able to make payroll. However, if you have a job
that provides income required to help meet your family’s living expenses, if
your spouse is reassigned to a new duty station, and you have to terminate
your employment, that move could put a significant crimp on your lifestyle.
Given that it could take a number of months to adjust to your new duty station
and possibly acquire new employment, we feel that it is only prudent to have
at least six months’ worth of required living expenses, which are not covered
by your servicemember’s paycheck, in cash reserves accounts.
If you determine that your required monthly living expenses for your family
total $4,000 per month and your servicemember’s total compensation covers
$2,800 of that expense, you should have no less than $7,200 in your cash
reserve accounts ($1,200 per month times six months equals $7,200).

Building and Maintaining
a Solid Credit History
Establishing a solid credit history takes time and persistence, but the effort
pays off in many ways. The stronger your credit report and the higher your
credit score, the less you have to pay when you borrow money. Your credit
history also impacts the cost of your auto and homeowner’s insurance, and
possibly your ability to obtain employment or advance in your current career.

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The key factors in building and maintaining a solid credit history include the
following:
 Establish credit in your own name.
• Secured credit cards are a great way to establish credit if you
cannot obtain credit through traditional methods such as an auto
loan or a Visa or MasterCard account.
• Avoid borrowing from finance companies and signing up for credit
cards issued by retail stores.
 Pay your bills on time.
 Limit your outstanding balances to 30 percent or less of your total
credit line.
 Avoid opening new accounts.
 Don’t delete old, good credit history off of your credit reports, even if
those accounts are no longer being used.
 Obtain copies of your credit report from all three credit bureaus at
least every 12 months from http://www.annualcreditreport.com
and verify that all of the information on the report is accurate.
 File a dispute with the credit bureaus if you find any inaccuracies.
For more information about building and maintaining good credit check out
Understanding Credit For Dummies (Wiley).

Obtaining Appropriate
Insurance Coverage
Military families just cannot afford to be without certain types of insurance.
Fortunately, your health insurance is provided through TRICARE. In the following section we hit on the other major areas that a military family needs to
consider to make certain that they’re fully and appropriately insured.

Servicemember’s life insurance
All active-duty servicemembers and activated Guard and Reserve are eligible for up to $400,000 of Servicemembers Group Life Insurance (SGLI; see
Chapter 7 for more details). For nearly every military family, the maximum
amount of insurance through SGLI is warranted, appropriate, and very cost
effective. However, there are instances when your family needs more coverage on your servicemember than what is available through SGLI. So you have
to check out commercial life insurance companies and shop their policies.

Chapter 8: Starting Out on the Right Financial Foot
Most commercial life insurance companies are not necessarily “military
friendly.” Those insurance companies who aren’t military friendly include
clauses in their life insurance policies that state they will not pay claims if
death occurs during the act of war.
The following is a list of Web sites that provide additional coverage for your
servicemember above and beyond what is provided through SGLI:
 http://www.afba.com
 http://www.aafmaa.com (for Army and Air Force)
 http://www.navynutual.org (for Navy and Marines)
 http://www.moaa.org (member officers only)
 http://www.usaa.com
 http://www.usba.com
We suggest that, at a minimum, servicemembers should have at least 10 times
their annual income (basic pay, allowances, and incentives) in life insurance
coverage. And most likely you’ll be best served buying a term life insurance
policy, which has a level premium equal to or greater than the number of
years until your youngest child graduates from college. A 15- or 20-year level
term policy might be in order.
Refer to Personal Finance Workbook For Dummies (Wiley) for specific
instructions on the type of life insurance policy that works for you and how
to calculate more precisely how much insurance you may need.

Family member’s life insurance
If you work outside the home, and your family is dependent on the income
that you generate, you should also have life insurance.
You can purchase up to $100,000 of coverage for yourself and up to $10,000 for
each of your dependent children through the Family Servicemembers Group
Life Insurance (FSGLI) program (see Chapter 7 for more info). The cost of your
coverage if you’re under age 35 is only $5.50 a month. The premium increases
every five years, however the cost is still very competitive through at least age
50. There is no cost for coverage for eligible dependent children.
For more information on Family Servicemembers Group Life Insurance visit
www.insurance.va.gov/sgliSite/fsgli/sglifam.htm.
The $10,000 per child coverage (which is free with the purchase of spousal
coverage) provided by FSGLI life insurance should be sufficient.

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Spousal disability insurance
Did you know that there’s actually a much greater chance that you will
become disabled for more than 90 days, than it is that you will die before age
65? And, if your family is dependent upon your income, you really should
have disability insurance to provide income replacement in the event you’re
unable to work for an extended period of time due to injury or illness.
Many employers provide 60 to 70 percent of your salary as a long-term disability insurance benefit. This benefit will be taxed to you just like earned income.
So, if you need 100 percent of your income to maintain your family’s lifestyle, in
the event of your disability your family will have some painful financial adjustments to make. So even if your employer provides 60 or 70 percent of your
salary as a long-term disability benefit, you should investigate purchasing as
much additional disability insurance protection as you are able to buy.
You may not have any long-term disability insurance provided by your
employer. In this case, you should purchase an individual, commercial longterm disability insurance policy. This type of insurance generally kicks in
after you’ve just been disabled for six months and the benefits continue until
age 65.
Don’t worry about the insurance company trying to sell you more disability
insurance than you may need. If your family is dependent on your income,
you need all the disability insurance protection the insurance company can
sell you.
Obtaining an individual, commercial long-term disability insurance policy is
very appropriate for a military spouse who works outside of the home. The
benefit of obtaining your own individual policy is that it is portable and you
can take it with you to the next duty station. If you rely on employer-provided
long-term disability insurance alone, when you leave that employer, you lose
your long-term disability insurance coverage.
It costs more to have your own individual policy; however, this assures that
you will always have coverage should you need it. If your family needs your
income — you need disability insurance!

Homeowner’s or renter’s insurance
You buy insurance to protect you from the risks that you can’t afford to bear.
Losing your home in a fire or flood, or sustaining significant damage due to
hail or windstorms, can undermine even the best laid financial plans. The
sections that follow describe both homeowner’s and renter’s insurance as
well as how to estimate the value of your belongings.

Chapter 8: Starting Out on the Right Financial Foot
For more information refer to Personal Finance Workbook For Dummies
(Wiley).

Homeowner’s insurance
If you own a home and you have a mortgage, you’re required to have adequate homeowner’s insurance protection. In the unlikely event that you own
a home outright (your mortgage is paid off), you still need homeowner’s
insurance to protect from catastrophic losses.
Not only do you need to take inventory of the contents within your home, but
you also need to provide documentation of the physical structure itself.
Contact your homeowner’s insurance agent to have them review the adequacy
of your homeowner’s insurance protection periodically.

Renter’s insurance
If you rent your home you should obtain a renter’s insurance policy to protect
your family from the financial hardship of losing your home and its contents.
Many renters do not carry renter’s insurance. If you are one of these people,
please recognize that this is a severe shortcoming in your financial foundation. The contents of your home can very easily be damaged or destroyed by
a flood, fire, theft, or many other forms of destruction. People who rent homes
are at no less risk than people who own the physical structure in which they
reside. All families should have insurance to protect the contents of their
home and homeowners should also have coverage on the structure itself.
Renter’s insurance is very reasonably priced depending on what part of the
country you live and how much your property is worth. For many renters
their insurance policy costs $200-$300 per year. Yes, that’s a lot of money.
However, think about what you’re buying for that cost. You are purchasing
insurance that will provide you a place to stay and the money to replace all
of the items and property that is damaged or destroyed. This could easily
total tens of thousands of dollars.
If your family rents your residence, you should obtain sufficient coverage to
replace all of the property in your homes. Look for a policy that provides full
replacement value coverage.

Estimating the value of your belongings
It’s challenging to estimate the value of your belongings. Take one drawer or
closet for example. Go through that drawer or closet and estimate how much
it would cost to repurchase all of the items that you see. Now carry on with
that exercise throughout your entire home. Add up the value of all of the
items in your kitchen, your families’ clothing, the kids’ toys, books, electronics, and collections and so on.

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Videotape the contents of your home in intricate detail. Record the serial
number, make, and model of all items where this is possible. Walk through
each room of your home and videotape every item, including the contents
of drawers and closets. While videotaping describe to the viewer what you
are showing them. Store a copy of this videotape in a very safe place, such
as your safety deposit box. This videotape may be the best evidence of the
value of your property, if you ever have to make an insurance claim.
If you’re fortunate enough never to have to make an insurance claim, you
can have a lot of fun with this video years from now, looking back at your old
stuff, your digs, and what you used to think was attractive.

Automobile insurance
If you own a vehicle and you or anyone else ever drives it, or you have a loan
on it, you need automobile insurance. Depending on the value of your vehicle
and your state’s requirements, the type of automobile insurance you must
have will vary.
For state-by-state regulations on required automobile coverage visit http://
info.insure.com/auto/minimum.html.
The following are the key types of coverage:
 Collision: If you’re in an accident, collision insurance provides coverage
to replace or repair your vehicle — regardless of who is at fault.
 Comprehensive: In the event of hail damage or a tree smashing your car
(risks not included in automobile collision coverage), you are covered
under this type of insurance.
 Personal injury protection: This coverage provides for medical and other
expenses resulting from an accident for the people specified in the policy.
 Medical payments: This feature provides a limited amount of insurance
to help cover medical expenses for you and your passengers resulting
from an accident.
 Bodily injury and property damage liability coverage: Your insurance
company pays damages if you injure someone or their property in an
auto accident.
 Uninsured and underinsured motorists liability coverage: If you’re in
an accident with another driver who doesn’t have enough, or any, liability coverage this protection allows you to collect for damages that you
personally experience from the accident.

Chapter 8: Starting Out on the Right Financial Foot
There are some key mistakes people make when buying automobile insurance.
They often pay too much for their insurance because their deductibles are too
low. At the same time, they are inadequately covered for liability exposure. So
choose a deductible (your portion of the damages) for both collision and comprehensive coverage that is at least $500 to $1,000 each (the higher the risk
you bear, the lower your insurance cost). Make sure that your liability coverage for bodily injury, property damage, uninsured motorist, and under insured
motorists is at least $100,000 per person and $300,000 per accident.
You should only buy insurance to protect you from losses that you cannot
afford to bear on your own. A little scratch or a minor dent in your fender are
not the type of catastrophes for which you should be filing an insurance claim.

Beginning Investing
Everyone has to start some time, and the sooner the better. Make the commitment to get started investing. For the balance of this chapter we give you the
guidance to confidently begin investing for your most cherished life goals.

Investing according to your purpose
Before you make your first or next investment give some thought as to the
reason you’re accumulating money:
 Are you building up cash reserves that need to be available at a
moment’s notice in the event of an emergency?
 Are you accumulating funds to be available for the down payment of a
home or another short-term need or objective?
 Or are you saving money to help pay for a child’s college education or
for your own retirement?
The purpose of your savings and investments dictates what type of accounts
and options are appropriate for each objective. Consider these examples and
see where you fit in:
 Need money in one to five years: Savings accounts, money market
accounts, and money market mutual funds are savings vehicles that
work when you’re accumulating funds that you need to tap into in the
short term.

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 Need money in more than five years: If your time horizon is longer than
five years and you’re somewhat flexible about what time period you
need to pull your money out, you can consider many more investment
options. Growth mutual funds, individual stocks, and real estate may all
have a place in your long-term investment portfolio.
The longer you can commit to an investment (that is, the longer your
time horizon) the more opportunity you have for long-term growth.
 Need money for retirement: You can take advantage of some wonderful
retirement planning vehicles that enable you to take advantage of long-term
growth opportunities while deferring taxation on your investment gains in
these accounts until retirement or possibly avoid taxation altogether.
Your servicemember’s Thrift Savings Plan (TSP) and traditional IRAs are
examples of retirement vehicles that enable you to defer taxation on the
gains within your retirement accounts until you begin withdrawing funds
in retirement.
Any earnings that you have in Roth IRAs accumulate tax-deferred until
retirement and then you can pull out distributions tax-free. You never
have to pay taxes on the earnings within your Roth IRA account!

Leveraging time
When asked what he considered to be the most powerful force in the universe, Albert Einstein responded — compound interest! And the true magic
of compound interest occurs over time.
The power of compound interest through time is illustrated in Table 8-1.
Presuming you haven’t begun to save for your retirement in any meaningful way
and you plan ultimately to retire at age 65, Table 8-1 reflects what percentage of
your total income that you should be saving.

Table 8-1

Checking out the Power of Compound Interest

Current Age

Savings Required to Replace Current Income

18

5%

25

9%

30

13%

35

20%

40

32%

45

51%

50

87%

55

can’t compute!!!

Chapter 8: Starting Out on the Right Financial Foot
Notice how significantly the savings requirement escalates as your time horizon shrinks. If you start saving for retirement when your servicemember joins
the armed forces and if you save just 5 to 10 percent of your gross income, by
the time you are age 65, you’ll have enough money to support your standard
of living, no matter how long you might live. Unfortunately, if you’re 35 years
old you have to save at least twice that much just to end up at the same place.
And, if you’re 45 years old, I sure hope you’ll have a military retirement benefit, because if you haven’t started saving for retirement by now, being able to
retire at 65 and maintain your standard of living is nearly impossible.
Compound interest needs time to do its magic!

Getting started
Of course, you need to get started on your investing right away, and nothing
reflects better how early investing can be a huge benefit to you than Rob and
Bob in Figure 8-1.
Check out the following great places to start, depending on your goals:
 For your short-term and intermediate-term goals, such as cash reserves
or accumulating funds for the down payment on a home, consider
using the ING Orange Savings Account available through http://www.
INGdirect.com. There is no minimum account balance to get started,
the savings account pays a very competitive interest rate, its completely
liquid, and its FDIC insured. You should have money directed as a
discretionary allotment from your servicemember’s paycheck directly to
this type of account each month.
 For your retirement goals, you should utilize your servicemember’s
Thrift Savings Plan (TSP) and Roth IRAs. Once again, these contributions
can be set up as discretionary allotments directly from your servicemember’s paycheck.
To enroll in the Thrift Savings Plan servicemembers need only complete
the TSP enrollment form available on the Web at http://www.tsp.
gov, or they can obtain an enrollment form and additional TSP materials
at your local Family Support Center. Servicemembers may contribute as
little as 1 percent to a maximum of $15,500 in 2008 or $20,500 if age 50 or
older.

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Age
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
50
51
52
53
54
55
56
57
58
59
60
61
62
63
64
65

Bob
Contribution
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200

Ending Value
1,296
2,696
4,207
5,840
7,603
9,507
11,564
13,785
16,184
18,775
20,277
21,899
23,651
25,543
27,586
29,793
32,176
34,750
37,530
40,533
43,776
47,278
51,060
55,145
59,556
64,321
69,466
75,024
81,025
87,508
94,508
102,069
110,234
119,053
128,577
138,863
149,973
161,970
174,928
188,922
204,036
220,359
237,988
257,027
277,589
299,796
$323,779

Contribution
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200
1,200

Bob
Ending Value

1,296
2,696
4,207
5,840
7,603
9,507
11,564
13,785
16,184
18,775
21,573
24,594
27,858
31,383
35,189
39,300
43,740
48,536
53,714
59,308
65,348
71,872
78,918
86,527
94,745
103,621
113,207
123,559
134,740
146,815
159,856
173,941
189,152
205,580
223,323
242,484
$263,179

Total
$12,000
$44,400
Figure 8-1:
Invested
Rob and
Bob’s Moral of the story . . . Bob invested $100 per month for the first ten years in the service. Rob waited to
begin investing until he was 29 years old. Rob had to invest almost four times as much money, but never
return on caught up with Bob . . . because Bob started saving earlier.
investment
Assumption: 8% annual return

Chapter 8: Starting Out on the Right Financial Foot
Thrift savings plan contributions can be invested in the following
accounts:
• Government Securities — G Fund
• Fixed Income Index — F Fund
• Common Stock Index — C fund
• Small Cap Stock Index — S Fund
• International Stock Index — I Fund
• Lifecycle Funds — L Fund (target date maturity funds)
Roth IRAs can be purchased from banks, stockbrokers, financial advisors, or directly with mutual fund companies. The least expensive way
to invest in a Roth IRA account is by doing a little research on your own
and investing your Roth IRA into a no-load, low-cost mutual fund. For
more information on mutual fund investing, check out Mutual Funds For
Dummies (Wiley).
A great company to consider is T. Rowe Price. You might want to take
advantage of one of their target retirement portfolios http://ira.
troweprice.com/retirement_funds/?phone=6066. You simply
select the year of your ultimate retirement and a target date portfolio will be selected for you. Each portfolio has a variety of stocks and
bonds. The younger you are the more exposure you have to stocks and
the more opportunity you have for growth. As you age the portfolio
automatically begins to shift toward a more conservative allocation.
Each portfolio is designed to give you a broad range of large-cap, smallcap, and international stock exposure as well as some bond exposure.
You can begin a Roth IRA with T. Rowe Price with as little as $50
per month, as long as you continue to add at least $50 per month to
the account. Of course we’re recommending that you make these
contributions automatically, preferably as one of your discretionary
allotments.
For the calendar year 2008 you can contribute $5,000 dollars per person
if you’re under age 50 and $6,000 per person if you’re 50 or older.

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Chapter 9

Building onto Your Financial
Foundation
In This Chapter

 Planning for big-ticket purchases

 Calculating how much you’ll need to fund specific goals

 Organizing your financial affairs

A

fter you have a solid financial foundation built on strength and discipline — adequate cash reserves and insurance and disciplined savings
and spending — you’re ready to add to that financial foundation. (If you have
a shaky financial foundation, check out Chapters 7 and 8.) In this chapter we
get into the financial planning aspects for specific goals in your life, such as
funding a kid’s college, buying a house, or preparing for your ultimate retirement. We also cover how to address subjects that everyone faces, but no one
wants to think about: end-of-life issues.

Accumulating What You’ll
Need for Specific Goals
To get the money you’ll need to pay for a big expense, such as a college
education, a house, starting your own business, or eventually retiring,
requires
 Thoughtful planning
 Time
 Discipline
 A lot of compromise (generally)

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You’ll always find competing objectives for your resources — whether those
resources are time, energy, or money. So when it comes to major financial
objectives, you’ll frequently have to make tough decisions about what matters most to you and your family. To gain confidence in making those difficult
choices, consider the following tips:
 Write down your financial objectives. We’re sure that your objectives
have been so solidified in your mind that you won’t forget them. But
writing out your financial objectives enables you to best compare all of
your options.
 Consider your priorities. Especially if you have objectives competing
for your money, weighing your priorities can provide you with a clearer
decision.
 Be flexible and creative. Flexibility and creative thinking go a long way
in helping you achieve your most cherished life goals. For instance, if
you can’t go to a traditional college because you never know how long
you’ll be in that location, try some online college courses or programs
(see Chapter 11 for more info).
 Make a compromise. Reach some compromises between competing
objectives. For instance, if objectives — such as, paying for your
children’s college education, having a vacation home, and taking early
retirement — compete with each other, consider compromising as an
option. You could limit your children’s college options to those only
in-state so that you’re paying resident tuition, find a less expensive
vacation home, or consider working a few more years before retiring.
 Discuss objectives with your spouse. Your spouse may have different
objectives altogether, and even if they are the same objectives as yours,
your spouse may have different priorities. Get on the same page as your
spouse with regard to the goals most important in your financial lives
and direct your resources accordingly.
Refer to Personal Finance Workbook For Dummies for some great goal-setting
and communication exercises to help you and your spouse articulate your
goals and establish priorities.
After you’ve determined the financial goals you’d like to work toward, search
for that goal in this chapter to discover how to figure out how much money
you’ll need, how much you’ll need to save, and how best to save this money.

Chapter 9: Building onto Your Financial Foundation

Purchasing a Home
In Chapter 10, we explore all of your housing options and considerations as
a military family. The process requires just a few steps: First, figure out how
much house you can afford, then what type of mortgage is most appropriate
for you, and then you can determine how much down payment you need.
But those are big steps to take, ones that must be taken carefully. So, in the
sections that follow, we cover how much home you can afford (presuming
you want to buy one), while still having a life. We also discuss accumulating
money for a down payment and the investment vehicles appropriate for this
objective.

Determining how much you
can spend on a house
Two important principles have to guide you through this important first step
of the process of buying a home. When figuring out how much you can spend
on a house never deviate from the following:
 Total mortgage payment vs. gross income: Your total mortgage payment (including taxes and insurance should not exceed 28 percent of
your gross monthly income. So, add up all of your total compensation
(before tax), multiply that dollar amount times 0.28 to arrive at the max
imum amount of money you should spend on your home mortgage, real
estate taxes, and homeowners insurance.
 Debt vs. gross income: The total monthly amount of all of your other
debt payments — car loans, student loans, credit cards, and so on — plus
your housing expenses should not exceed 36 percent of your total gross
monthly income. So, add all of your monthly debt to your proposed total
mortgage payment (including taxes and insurance) and divide that total
by your total gross income. If the result is more than 36 percent, you
should reduce debt aggressively prior to purchasing a home, or reduce
the size of your target mortgage balance.
Knowing these two facts, you can work the process backwards to figure out
how much you can spend on a house. So, we take you through the steps of
the following example to show you just how to figure out how much your
monthly payment should be, but also how to use that amount to figure out
how much you can spend on a house:

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1. Figure out a total monthly mortgage payment based on your total
gross compensation. If your family’s total gross monthly compensation
(before tax) is $3,500, multiplying that amount times 0.28 results in $980.
This is the maximum amount you should spend on your mortgage
payment, real estate taxes, and homeowner’s insurance per month.
2. Check your total monthly debt — including your total monthly
mortgage payment (including taxes and interest) against your total
monthly income. If your total monthly debt is $135, add to it $980 to
include your total mortgage payment. Then divide that total ($1,115) by
your total monthly income ($3,500). In this case, the percentage is 32
percent, and because the percentage doesn’t exceed 36 percent, then
you can definitely afford a total monthly mortgage payment of $980.
3. Subtract insurance and taxes from the proposed total monthly mortgage
payment. Homeowner’s insurance premiums vary greatly depending on
what part of the country you live. Homeowner’s insurance commonly costs
between $50 and $100 per month. Real estate taxes also vary greatly. Real
estate taxes frequently run about 1 percent of the home value each year.
For our example, assume $100 each month is going toward real estate taxes
and insurance. If you subtract $100 per month for real estate taxes and
another $100 per month for insurance, the resulting balance of $780 is
available to pay the principal and interest on the mortgage.
4. Discover the maximum mortgage amount of a house you can afford,
using the monthly principal and interest payment (result of step 3). To
determine how much mortgage you can afford with a payment of $780 per
month, you can use an online calculator, such as the mortgage calculator
at BankRate.com (http://www.bankrate.com/brm/mortgagecalculator.asp). With this calculator and your target monthly maximum payment in mind, just adjust the mortgage amount until you arrive
at your monthly mortgage payment target. With a monthly mortgage
payment (principal and interest only) of $780, and an interest rate of 7
percent, the approximate total mortgage amount on a 30-year fixed rate
mortgage is $117,000.
5. Add the down payment to determine how much home you should be
able to afford. If you had $8,000 to apply toward the down payment on a
home with a total mortgage of $117,000, the purchase price of your new
home could be $125,000. If you want to buy a more expensive home, you
would need to come up with a larger down payment.
Of course, the Internet has a ton of great tools for home buying, but two you
may consider checking out are
 http://www.bankrate.com/brm/calculators/mortgages/maxi
mum_mortgage.asp: Use this great calculator for determining your
total mortgage affordable based on your income and your other debts.
 http://www.hud.gov/offices/hsg/sfh/hcc/hcs.cfm: HUD provides
a list of approved housing counseling agencies. These agents can assist you
in determining your best course of action if you have too much debt.

Chapter 9: Building onto Your Financial Foundation

Reviewing mortgages
There are many mortgage options available in the marketplace. The key
factors in selecting a mortgage that is right for your family are:
 How long do you plan to live in the home?
How long you plan to live in the house is one of the most essential
questions to consider when determining what type of mortgage may be
appropriate for you. If you plan to stay in the home for more than five
years, you’re likely much better off to lock in a fixed rate mortgage.
If you know with great certainty that you will not own the home for more
than five years, I encourage you to evaluate whether an adjustable rate
mortgage may actually be more cost-effective for you. Bankrate.com
has a great calculator that will enable you to calculate whether you’re
better off with a fixed-rate mortgage or an adjustable rate mortgage.
Visit http://www.bankrate.com/brm/calsystem2/calculators/
fixedvsarm/default.aspx.
 Would you prefer a stable monthly payment, or can you handle the
uncertainty of an adjustable mortgage?
Depending on current interest rates, you may discover that the difference between an adjustable rate mortgage and fixed rate mortgages
do not provide enough incentive for you to accept the uncertainty of
an adjustable rate mortgage, just in case you end up owning that home
longer than you had planned. Refer to Chapter 10 for more information
about these dangers.
 How much money do you have for the down payment?
The amount of your down payment will influence the number and types
of loans available to you. If you have 20 percent to put down on the purchase of your new home a conventional mortgage will likely be the most
attractive option for your family. You’ll receive a lower interest rate by
going with a conventional mortgage. A conventional loan may also be
available if you take out a first mortgage for 80 percent of the value of
the home, and then a home-equity line of credit for another 10 percent.
This would leave you a down payment as low as 10 percent. And, you
would still qualify for a conventional mortgage, avoid PMI and get the
most competitive interest rates available.
However, most young couples and families don’t have the money available
to put down 20 percent on a home purchase. You can check out first-time
home buyer programs, which may be available in your area. Consult with a
local mortgage lender about these types of programs or visit http://www.
hud.gov/buying/localbuying.cfm for more information.
An FHA loan will likely be one of your most competitive options. They
typically require a 3 percent down payment, maybe less. Closing costs
are also minimized.

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Possibly your best option, if you have little or no down payment, is a VA
loan. If your servicemember has served on active duty for at least six
months, or six years if your servicemember is in the Selected Reserves
or National Guard, your family is eligible for a VA loan. You can purchase a home with no down payment, the interest rates are competitive,
and you should incur lower costs at closing. You also avoid Private
Mortgage Insurance (PMI) that is required on most every mortgage,
unless you are able to make a 20 percent down payment. These premiums can add $50 to $100 or more per month to your mortgage payment
for the first several years that you own your home.
 Are you eligible for VA benefits?
 What are the current fixed interest rates?
• Conventional
• FHA
• VA
The VA actually doesn’t issue the loans, they insure them. You
would obtain a VA loan through a traditional mortgage lender such
as a bank, savings and loan, or mortgage company.
 What are the current adjustable rates?
• 3-year fixed, then annually adjustable (3/1 ARM)
• 5-year fixed, then annually adjustable (5/1 ARM)

Coming up with your down payment
Saving for the down-payment on a home, just like any financial objective,
involves determining:
 How much money will you need?
 What resources are available?
 How should this money be invested?
 When will you need it?
Assume for the sake of illustration that you would like to purchase a home
for $150,000 in two years. And you want to make a down payment of 5%; so
you’ll need $7,500 in two years. Your servicemember is currently the only
wage earner in the family. If you simply divide $7,500 by the number of pay
periods that your servicemember will have over the next two years you will
arrive at a specific dollar amount that should be saved per month. Using
this simple formula will actually result in accumulating a bit more than the
required $7,500, because you haven’t taken into account the interest that will
be earned on each deposit.

Chapter 9: Building onto Your Financial Foundation
Given that two years is a very short time horizon, the most appropriate
investment vehicle for this type of savings is a bank money market account
or money market mutual fund account. Currently these types of accounts are
yielding about 3 percent per year. So your excess savings only totals about
$220 dollars. That’s nothing to sneeze at. In fact, you’ll likely find a great use
for this extra money in your new home.
However, if your objective was to accumulate exactly $7,500 by the end of two
years, you have two reasonable options to calculate the precise savings requirement. The first is to use a financial calculator. Another option is to use one of the
many online financial calculators. One of the best is at http://www.bankrate.
com/gookeyword/news/sav/2006savmg/calc/savegoal.asp?caret=25.
Using a financial calculator, either a handheld or an online calculator, the
required savings to come up with $7,500 by the end of two years is $303.61 a
month, presuming a 3 percent return is earned on your money market mutual
fund account.
Set up an automatic deduction from your servicemember’s discretionary
allotment and have the targeted savings amount automatically deducted and
forwarded to your money market account.
A great account to consider for this type of savings is available from
http://www.INGdirect.com. You can open an Orange Savings account
with as little as one dollar and add to that account as frequently as you
would like. The Orange Savings account pays a very competitive interest
rate, it’s completely liquid, and its FDIC insured. Shortly before you need the
down-payment on your new home, simply go online to INGdirect.com and
authorize a direct transfer to your checking account for the amount of your
down payment.

Planning for Children’s College Costs
Most American families want to own their own home, have enough money
to retire in comfort, and they would like to see their children obtain a college education. Sometimes saving money for all three of these objectives can
really put a damper on your lifestyle. However, if you do have the desire to
pay for, or help pay for, your children’s college education, the sooner you get
started the better.

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Trying to figure out how much you need to save is all based on how much
you plan to provide for your child(ren) and how much the school they attend
will cost. To solve the first half of this dilemma, let’s just assume that you
and your spouse want to have the money available to pay for 100 percent of
the cost for your child(ren) to attend college. It’s much safer to save more
than you’ll actually need or want to spend on their college, so we’ll default to
saving 100 percent.
Now comes the more challenging part. Which college, or type of college, are you
or your young scholar considering? The cost of a community college or junior
college runs about $2,200 a year, in today’s dollars. Tuition and books at a public
state university could cost you about $6,000 a year. And a private college or
university could easily cost you over $20,000 a year just for tuition and books.
For most young families with competing objectives; buying a home, raising
children, saving money for their college and your retirement, and taking care
of everyday living expenses, just getting started saving something for college
is a great beginning.
However, if you feel strongly about your children attending a specific university
such as — your alma mater — check out http://www.CollegeBoard.com. On
this Web site you can find out the actual current expenses for tuition, books, and
room and board at thousands of colleges and universities across the country.
You may be aware that college costs have far exceeded the rate of inflation
over the last 30 years. This is another good reason for starting your savings
early. Beginning an education fund for a newborn or toddler is definitely not
too early! The sooner you start saving the lower your monthly savings
contribution requirement.
If the after-tax rate of return you receive on your investments for your children’s college education keep pace with the escalating cost of college, you
should be alright saving as illustrated in Table 9-1.

Table 9-1

Saving for Different Colleges

Age of Child

Junior College
(2 years; $4,400)

State University
(4 years; $24,000)

Private College (4
years; $80,000)

Newborn

$20/month

$111/month

$370/month

5 years

$28/month

$154/month

$513/month

10 years

$46/month

$250/month

$833/month

Chapter 9: Building onto Your Financial Foundation

These savings amounts are for each child!
It’s never too early to start planning for college. This includes setting the
proper expectations of just how much you and your servicemember plan or
are prepared to pay for your child’s college education.

Securing Your Retirement
Your child can find many ways to obtain a college education. However, when
it comes to retirement, there is no financial aid!
Do not forsake your own retirement to provide a college education for your
child(ren), unless your children are your retirement plan. In this section we
go into saving for retirement. Just because the section is positioned after
college planning doesn’t mean that it should ever take a back seat.
There are only four variables when it comes to retirement planning:
 You can spend less and save more now.
 You can get better returns on your investments.
 You can work longer.
 You could die earlier.
The last option really isn’t a recommended planning strategy. Working longer
may also not be the first thing that comes to mind. Getting better returns
on your investments may have very little to do with influencing how much
money you’ll have at retirement — if you don’t have any retirement savings
yet. So, for this section let’s focus on what you do have significant influence
over — regardless of whether you choose to exercise that influence — saving
for retirement.
The earlier you begin to save for retirement the less you have to save. Let the
power of positive compound interest work for you.
Table 9-2 illustrates the percentage of your income that you need to save
each and every month until retirement to ensure that you’ll never run out of
money no matter how long you live. This savings requirement assumes that
you have little or no retirement savings now.

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Table 9-2

Saving for Retirement

Your Current Age

Savings as Percentage of Income

18

5%

25

9%

30

13%

35

20%

40

32%

45

51%

50

87%

You could use one of many sophisticated Web-based retirement calculators
or financial planning software programs to compute how much you need to
save to maintain your lifestyle in retirement. However, it need not be that
complicated. If you have not yet begun to save for retirement, or you have
just barely begun, Table 9-2 is all you need to focus on.
If you have accumulated some savings for retirement, your actual required
savings may be a percent or two less than the percentage illustrated on the
table above.
For most young people, and if you’re under 30, knowing how much you’re
going to need to live on in retirement is just a shot in the dark. So many
things are going to change throughout your lifetime. Making a projection
about retirement occurring decades from now, with dozens of variables,
comes out with a goofy conclusion. One thing you can be certain of, your projection is guaranteed to be wrong. So, keep it simple. Focus on the following
keys to financial independence and don’t complicate your financial lives any
more than necessary:
 Focus on what you can control! Concentrate your energies on what you
have the most influence and control over — your ability to make money.
You and your spouse’s potential to make money is your single biggest
asset. Don’t let your penchant for spending it all be your biggest liability.
 Live beneath your means! Living within your means is a good start. But
all that says is you’re making it from paycheck to paycheck. That’s not
getting ahead. Living beneath your means, means that you are saving a
bit of every dollar you earn.
 Start now! Don’t stop until you retire — you, too, can achieve financial
independence! Refer back to Table 9-2 to determine your required savings
percentage.

Chapter 9: Building onto Your Financial Foundation
 Make it automatic! Fund your retirement savings contributions in the
following order.
• Have money withdrawn directly from your servicemember’s paycheck as a discretionary allotment directly into Roth IRA accounts
(presuming you don’t make too much money).
• Next, if you have access to an employer provided retirement plan
that has a matching contribution, such as a 401(k) plan, contribute
up to the maximum amount of the matching or the amount to fully
fund your retirement savings requirement, whichever comes first.
• If you don’t have a retirement plan with a matching contribution,
then add your additional target savings percentage to your
servicemember’s Thrift Savings Plan account.
Making your retirement funding automatic means that you’re
essentially paying yourself first using automatic deductions from your
servicemember’s paycheck to fund your retirement savings requirement.
The most important thing is to get started, be consistent, and save on a regular, automatic basis. Don’t worry about what’s going on with the economy or
the stock market — just keep accumulating — when retirement comes you’ll
be glad you did!

Preparing for the Inevitable
You know the old phrase — nothing in life is certain except death and taxes?
Well, we know when our tax return is due, but most of us never know when
we’re going to die. The question is not “if,” but rather “when”? Given that certainty, it is only appropriate that you think about what would be best for the
survivor(s) in the event of your or your servicemember’s death. We call this
estate planning. It sounds pretty hoity-toity doesn’t it? Well, estate planning
is nothing more than documenting what you want to happen to you, your
dependents, and your stuff when you’re gone. It also covers what happens if
you’re alive, but can’t make decisions for yourself.
We’re not estate planning attorneys. The information and suggestions provided here are for your education and empowerment. You should work with
qualified legal counsel to make certain that your wishes will be carried out in
the manner that would be most efficient and effective.
Fortunately, you may be eligible for free legal services through Armed Forces
Legal Assistance. Refer to Chapter 7 for additional information about military
legal benefits.

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In this section, we show you why estate planning is so important and outline
strategies you can implement to make sure that your desires are carried out
if you are not around, or if you’re unable to communicate your wishes.

Answering key questions to get started
As you get started, you need to answer the following key questions:
 Financial
• What do you own?
• What do you owe?
• How much life insurance do you have?
 Family
• Are you legally married?
• Are you both U.S. citizens?
• Do you have minor children or other dependents?
• If you have minor children or dependents, who would you like to
care for your dependent family members if you are unable?
• If you have minor children or dependents, who would be the best
custodians of the assets left to your dependent family members?
 What legacy do you want to leave for your surviving family?
• Are there any people or causes to which you would like to leave
money?
• If you are unable to make healthcare decisions for yourself, who
should make those decisions on your behalf? What if that person is
not available?
• Under what circumstances, if any, would you like your life
prolonged by artificial means?
• If you are unable to manage your financial affairs for yourself, who
should manage your affairs on your behalf? What if that person is
unavailable?

Chapter 9: Building onto Your Financial Foundation

Communicating your wishes
through legal documents
Thinking through how you’d like your family to be cared for, and where you
would like your “stuff” to go, is a critical first step. However, without getting
your wishes down in writing, all the thinking in the world won’t make a bit of
difference.
How you own property, and the beneficiaries you have designated for your
life insurance and retirement plan assets, are also very critical to implementing
an effective estate plan. We discuss forms of ownership and beneficiary
designations in the next section. In this section, we walk you through the
types of legal documents, which may be most appropriate for your family,
and what you’d like to accomplish.
You very likely can receive assistance in creating these estate planning
documents, at no charge, through military legal assistance! Take full
advantage of your military benefits!

Wills
The most well-known estate planning document is the will. A will is a legal
document that allows you to dictate in writing what you want to happen to
your assets and appoint guardians to care for your dependents upon your
death. One of the most important reasons, if not the most important reason
to have a will, is to name the guardians for your minor children (presuming you have minor children). A will enables you to name the individual or
couple who you would like to be the caretakers of your children in the event
that you and your spouse are both deceased. And you shouldn’t just name
one person or one couple. You’ll also want to name a backup or alternate
guardian, in case the first individual or couple is not available or able to care
for your children.
Your will also enables you to name the custodian you appoint to take care
of the money you leave your minor children. Many times the guardian(s) are
the most appropriate people to also serve as custodians. But, that is not
necessarily always the case.
Sometimes the best caregiver, is definitely not the best money manager, and
vice versa. Fortunately, by executing a will you have the opportunity to name
the caregivers for your children, as well as, the custodians of their money.
Without a will your state law will determine your children’s guardian and
custodian. Don’t leave these critical decisions up to state law!

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Living trusts
Another document commonly used in estate planning is a living trust. For
most young couples and families a living trust is not necessary. However,
before you immediately rule out the benefits of a living trust, let’s explore a
couple of the major reasons people choose trusts.
First of all, trusts avoid the probate court process. In fact, you’ll often hear
from many estate planning attorneys that probate is this horrible legal process that can take years and cost you a fortune. Generally that statement is
grossly exaggerated. Probate does take time and it will cost more to transfer
the assets through the probate court process than through title, beneficiary
designation, or living trust.
Another very useful reason for having a living trust is in the event that you
own a home or other real property outside of your state of residence. This is
not an uncommon occurrence with a military family. With a living trust you
can avoid probate in your state of residence, as well as, the state in which
you own other real property.
There are a few major drawbacks to having a living trust. The first one is
cost. Living trusts can cost you and your spouse $2,000 to $3,000 to have
drafted by a qualified legal professional. After you get over the price tag
of living trusts, the next stage is making certain that all of your property is
appropriately and completely retitled into the trust, and that it maintains
proper title or beneficiary designation to the trust through time. Failure to do
so will make your investment worthless.
Don’t misunderstand; living trusts do have a very legitimate role in many
people’s estate planning. However, they are not the only option, or some sort
of silver bullet, that so many estate planning attorneys purport. There are
other legal documents and strategies that you can use to make certain that
your survivors are cared for and your stuff is transferred as you would like,
that cost you substantially less than living trusts. However, if your attorney
suggests a living trust, follow your attorney’s advice.

Durable power of attorney for healthcare
This is an essential estate planning document! A durable power of attorney
for healthcare enables you to name a person or possibly a couple of people to
make healthcare decisions for you if you are unable to make them for yourself.
Both you and your servicemember should immediately obtain durable power
of attorney forms, if you do not already have them in place. If you do have
these documents, review them periodically to make certain they are current.

Chapter 9: Building onto Your Financial Foundation
Visit your military legal assistance services office. They can get you set up
with durable power of attorney for healthcare documents.

Living will
A living will spells out under what circumstances, if any, you want your life
prolonged if you have no reasonable chance for recovery. This is another
essential estate planning document that both you and your servicemember
should have in place. You can also obtain these documents from your
military legal assistance services office.

Financial power of attorney
The financial power of attorney form is another essential legal document
required for effective estate planning. This document enables you to appoint
someone to make financial decisions and manage your financial affairs in the
event that you can’t do this for yourself. Most couples appoint each other
as their financial power-of-attorney. But, you should also select a successor,
so that in the event your spouse is unable or unavailable to perform these
services, you’ve got a backup. Your military legal assistance office can also
assist you in obtaining these documents.
Given the nature of your servicemember’s employment, and the fact that
you may be frequently separated due to their service, obtaining the abovementioned documents is essential to making certain your wishes will be
carried out under all circumstances. Don’t leave these issues to chance.
Visit your military legal assistance office immediately!

Accounting for ownership and
beneficiary designations
All assets that transfer by title or beneficiary designation upon death avoid
probate. You can reduce probate expenses and hassles by maximizing your
use of appropriate ownership classifications.
Table 9-3 lists the common forms of asset transfer strategies and indicates
whether these strategies avoid probate.

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Table 9-3

Asset Transfer Strategies

Strategy

Avoids Probate

Joint tenancy with right of survivorship

Yes

Tenants in common

No

Individual ownership

No

Beneficiary designations

Yes

Transfer on death designations

Yes

Payable on death designations

Yes

Will

No

Living trust

Yes

Titling assets
Most couples who own a home with their spouse register the house in joint
tenancy with the right of survivorship. You may also have bank accounts or
investment accounts registered in both of your names, as joint tenants with
right of survivorship. In this form of ownership both of you have access to
the account or asset and can transact certain business on behalf of the other.
In the event of the death of one owner, the survivor inherits the entire asset
directly and automatically, without going through the probate court.
Even if you’re married your spouse will not automatically inherit your
property, or be able to manage your affairs in your absence, without proper
ownership and/or legal documents.
Many times individuals enter into marriage after they have already acquired
property. It may be appropriate for you to retitle individually held property
into joint ownership with your spouse. Contact your military legal assistance
office for guidance.

Beneficiary designations
A beneficiary designation is a formal way of declaring who you would like to
inherit your property in the event of your death.
Beneficiary designations are available for:
 Life insurance policies
 Retirement accounts
 IRAs
 Bank accounts
 Brokerage accounts

Chapter 9: Building onto Your Financial Foundation
You simply fill out a form provided by the insurance company, bank, or
investment company, indicating your primary beneficiary or beneficiaries, as
well as, any contingent beneficiary or beneficiaries. You don’t have to name
one individual to receive the entire balance of a specific account. You can
divide an account among numerous people.
For example: You have a life insurance policy and desire to leave the majority
of the death benefit to your surviving spouse; however, you would also like
to repay a loan you received from your parents. You could indicate on your
beneficiary designation that a certain dollar amount of the proceeds are to go
to your parents and the balance is to go to your surviving spouse.
When you get that loan paid off with your folks you may want to revisit your
beneficiary designation.
In some states you can obtain a transfer on death designation for personal
and real property, such as a home or vehicle. However, if you own your home
in joint ownership with rights of survivorship, no beneficiary designation
is necessary. You may however wish to name a beneficiary on a vehicle or
other type of property, such as a motorcycle or boat, if that is available in
your state. Check with military legal assistance services or your county’s
registrar of deeds office for more information.
Keep a copy of all of your account applications as well as your beneficiary
designation forms for safekeeping. Review these beneficiary designations
periodically and make certain that they remain current with your wishes.
All assets registered in joint tenancy with right of survivorship already have
the equivalent of the beneficiary designation. The surviving joint owner will
automatically inherit the asset or account upon the death of the first joint owner.
When you’re young, healthy, and invincible, it’s so easy to postpone thinking
about death or incapacity. And if it costs money, that’s another good excuse
to postpone something that you don’t think you’ll need for decades. However
you’ve got a family who depends on you.
Get your affairs in order. Utilize the military legal assistance services. Give your
family one of the most important gifts you can. After something happens to
you is not the time for your spouse or family to deal with figuring out what you
would have wanted. Tell them in writing just exactly who is to receive what
assets, who you want raising your children, and taking care of their money.
Also put in writing who you want making decisions regarding your healthcare
or financial affairs, and under what extraordinary circumstances you want your
life prolonged, through the use of the estate planning documents listed in this
section.
Revisit your estate planning documents and beneficiary designations periodically
to make certain that your wishes are documented fully and appropriately.

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Chapter 10

Housing Options for
the Military Family
In This Chapter

 Evaluating your military housing benefits

 Reviewing your many housing options

 Exploring buying versus leasing and financing options

 Getting ready to relocate

I

t’s not uncommon for a military family to move every two to three years.
So, figuring out the best housing arrangements for your family is a major
consideration. Fortunately, you have many options. Choices are a wonderful
thing, if you know how to evaluate the options available to you.
On-base housing might be very appropriate for your family especially during
the early years. Living on-base provides you with community, convenient
access to all the installation’s facilities and programs, and enables you to
save money for other things you’d like to accomplish in your lives.
In this chapter, we explore the variety of housing options and benefits available to you and your family, and give you guidance on which options may
make the most sense for your family, depending on your specific situation.

Understanding the Basic
Allowance for Housing
All servicemembers receive free (or almost free) housing. If your spouse
is a servicemember and you live together, regardless of whether you have
dependent children living with you, you will either live in on-base housing, or
be given a Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH) to live off-base.

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Military families receive the housing allowance, even if your servicemember is staying in the barracks (along with single servicemembers) for basic
training or technical school. Your family receives this allowance because
the military requires servicemembers to provide adequate housing for their
dependents. And a spouse is considered a dependent for this determination.
Regardless of how dependent you may feel — when it comes to receiving
extra compensation — most military spouses have no problem being
classified as a “dependent.”

Basic allowance for housing — CONUS
Servicemembers and their families who live off-base are provided with a Basic
Allowance for Housing (BAH). This extra cash is provided to help offset the
additional costs of living off-base. Of course, if you choose to live on-base, the
military covers your housing expense. However, at certain duty stations there
may not be on-base military housing available, or adequate accommodations
for your family’s needs, so living off-base is your only option.

The basics of BAH
The actual amount your family is eligible for is based on the local rental housing market and your servicemember’s pay grade. Also, your BAH is not taxable income. So, to compare apples-to-apples, if your family were to receive
$800 per month in tax-free BAH, that may be equivalent to more than $1,000 a
month in additional taxable basic pay.
BAH is a set amount per month. Your actual housing expense could be substantially higher. The allowance is determined based on the average costs in
the area, and is designed to provide you with appropriate housing for your
servicemember’s rank and family status.
For example, if your spouse is an E-5, your family qualifies for the minimum
acceptable housing allowance that should enable you to acquire a twobedroom townhouse or duplex. If your spouse is an O-5, your family
receives a housing allowance that provides for a four bedroom single-family
residence. The number of dependents is not taken into consideration in
determining the amount of BAH.
Visit http://www.military.com/benefits/military-pay/basicallowance-for-housing-rates for current rates by geography, pay
grade, and dependent status.
The housing allowance is paid out automatically when you apply for offbase housing. You may use this money to help cover your housing expenses
whether you rent or purchase your home. We discuss the pros and cons of
renting versus purchasing later in this chapter.

Chapter 10: Housing Options for the Military Family
Military married to military
If you and your spouse are both employed by the military, each of you is
entitled to the Basic Allowance for Housing benefit if you live off-base. If you
live together, one of you can claim BAH with dependents and the other must
register at the single rate.
Your family receives the highest total BAH pay if the servicemember with the
highest pay grade claims BAH with dependent(s).

Overseas housing allowance
When you first report to a permanent duty station outside the continental
United States (OCONUS), if you are unable to stay in government housing for
some reason beyond your control, you may be eligible for up to 60 days of
overseas temporary lodging allowance.
If your servicemember is stationed overseas and lives with you off-base, they
don’t receive BAH. Instead they receive a special Overseas Housing Allowance,
or OHA. This allowance is intended to offset the actual cost of rent, utilities,
and recurring maintenance expenses. Unlike BAH for your state-side counterparts, OHA is not a set monthly amount. It is recalculated every two weeks to
address the potentially volatile housing costs in overseas markets.
However, if your servicemember is assigned overseas, and you elect not to
accompany them, they can live in barracks on-base, and still receive BAH to
assist you in obtaining adequate housing state-side. It’s a servicemember’s
obligation — enforced and supported by the military — to provide adequate
housing for their dependents.
If your family is eligible for Overseas Housing Allowance you also qualify for;
a move-in housing allowance to cover the purchase of necessities, onetime
fees, such as real estate agent fees or lease taxes, and reimbursements for
required security expenses.
If you lease off-base housing while on overseas assignment, be sure that your
lease agreement contains a military clause. This clause enables you to break
your lease in case you are forced to terminate the lease before expiration in
order for your servicemember to fulfill their military orders.

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Considering On-Base Housing
Most installations have very limited on-base housing for married servicemembers and there is usually a waiting list. Sometimes the waiting list is as
long as 12 months or more. To qualify for on-base family housing you must
reside with your servicemember.
Unfortunately, you may not even know if housing is available until you arrive
at your new installation. If housing isn’t immediately available, the housing
office will give you a rough estimate of how long you’ll have to wait, which
could be months.
Your installation may have contract housing available. Find out about contract housing through the housing manager. A waiting list may be available
through your new installation’s Web site.
Accommodations vary greatly from installation to installation. Units are typically unfurnished duplexes and sometimes fourplexes. The type of housing
your family qualifies for is dependent upon the age of your family members
and the rank of your servicemember.
Basic utilities are usually provided at no additional cost for on-base housing.
Sorry folks — cable-television and telephone service is not included. Of course
you can always subscribe to these additional services but you pay the cost.
Kitchen appliances, such as stoves and refrigerators are usually provided and
many times built-in dishwashers come with the unit. Clothes washer and dryer
hookups are available in most units, and laundry mats are also available near
the family housing area. It’s very much like renting a home in the civilian world.
If you wish to make any “improvements” to your on-base residence, you usually can obtain permission, but you must agree to return the property to its
original condition, if the next person to move in doesn’t want to accept your
“improvement.” So, if you want to paint your daughter’s bedroom violet,
just keep in mind that in a few months you very likely may be repainting it a
nice, bland off-white. You’re encouraged to make it your home. But, just as
you would with rental property, you need to obtain permission to make any
changes or “improvements” to your on-base residence. Keep in mind that
your commander may be considerably tougher than any landlord you’ve
experienced in the civilian world.
Unlike military barracks, the inside of occupied on-base military family
housing is not inspected, unless the commander receives a problem report.
However, the outside of your residence is an entirely different matter. Each
branch of the armed forces is pretty strict about the tidiness of the outside
of your residence and yard. In fact, military personnel may cruise the family
housing area regularly and write tickets to any resident who doesn’t maintain
the appearance required for the neighborhood. If you receive too many
tickets in a short period of time you can be requested to move off-base.

Chapter 10: Housing Options for the Military Family
Your on-base housing will definitely be inspected when you get ready to
move out. Base housing is expected to be left in immaculate condition. Well,
as immaculate as the unit can get. Some accommodations are very out-ofdate, but they must be clean when you move out! Some families have gone so
far as to hire professional cleaners to assist them. Many bases now have programs where the base itself hires professional cleaners for you.

Exploring Off-Base Housing
As a military family you have virtually unlimited options with regard to offbase housing. Well, the options are unlimited, but your resources and
preferences will restrict which of these options make sense for your family.
One of the benefits of on-base housing is that your family can likely get along
very comfortably with one vehicle. On-base family housing is close to all of the
military community resources, the kid’s schools, medical care, shopping, and
so on. You can walk or there are shuttles available. However, living off-base
may require you to obtain a second vehicle or utilize public transportation —
either way it increases your costs.
Regardless of the many conveniences that come with living in family housing
on a military installation, there are also many disadvantages. These disadvantages may include your inability to truly separate your servicemember’s work
from your private life. You may also have a strong desire to personalize your
home, and if you plan to stay in an area for a period of time you may desire
to purchase your residence. There are many valid reasons for your family to
desire to live off-base. And even if you did want to live on-base, military
housing may not even be available.
If you live off-base, the military is not providing you with housing; therefore,
you receive a tax-free cash benefit to offset your cost to obtain housing elsewhere. You can use this benefit, also known as, Basic Allowance for Housing
(BAH) to pay all or a portion of the monthly rental expense on a home, or to
pay all or a portion of the monthly mortgage payment if you decide to purchase a home. Refer to the section later in this chapter for more on the rent
versus purchase decision.
The amount of your allowance is dependent on the average cost of housing in
your local market and your servicemember’s pay grade. This tax-free benefit
for married servicemembers typically ranges from about $800 a month to
over $2,000 a month depending on rank and location. For more information
about the Basic Allowance for Housing refer to that section earlier in this
chapter.

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This housing allowance can be used to rent or purchase any type of residence such as, an apartment, a townhome, a mobile or modular home, a condominium, a duplex, or a single family residence. The key considerations for
your family should include:
 Location — proximity to work, schools, and public transportation, if
appropriate
 Size of living quarters, including numbers of bedrooms and bathrooms
 Fenced-in yard, garage, basement, storage and so on
 Total cost
Of course there are many other important details in selecting your home,
but these are the key criteria for most families. If you have kids or dogs you
might want a good sized fenced in yard. That may not be an allowable or
reasonable option, if you were to live on-base. Actually, having pets can limit
your options for renting as well.
You may also find that you need more space than what is available with onbase housing. You might desire a private space for a home office, as well as
separate bedrooms for your children. It is highly probable that you will need
to augment your housing allowance to be able to rent or purchase a home
meeting these criteria.

Leasing
Leasing a place usually requires no more than completing a rental application;
paying a deposit and the first and last month’s rent, getting a background check,
and signing a lease.
No worries if you have to break the lease because your servicemember is
assigned to a new duty station. See Chapter 7 for more information about
your legal benefits and protections.
With leasing you retain the utmost in flexibility. That doesn’t mean that
things can’t go wrong — but it sure limits the number of problems.
Typical problems with leasing include:
 Your landlord could raise your rent at the end of your lease term — and
cause you to either pay up or move.
However, if rents in your area go up rapidly after signing your lease
you are likely going to be stuck with paying market rates when it’s time
to renew your lease. You can’t move and reduce your costs without
moving into a lower quality or less desirable location.

Chapter 10: Housing Options for the Military Family
 The great landlord you signed the lease with could sell the property —
or worse yet — go bankrupt.
If they are responsible for paying your utilities, you could find yourself
without electricity or water and have very little recourse. Fortunately,
most landlords are reasonable business people and these potentialities
are highly unlikely.
Major positive benefits of renting include:
 You can obtain housing quickly and you can move out just as quickly —
if you receive orders to report to a new duty station. This flexibility is
very attractive and appropriate for most military families.
 Your level of commitment, as far as time to research the perfect location
and the amount of cash you need to secure a new residence, is low relative
to purchasing a home.

Buying
Purchasing your home has its own positives and negatives. You’re probably
very familiar with all the positives that homeownership can bring. The pride
of ownership, the ability to play your music just as loud as you want; decorate
any way you desire, all the while hopefully building equity in your home.
But owning a home also means that when a pipe bursts in the wall behind
your upstairs bathroom and wreaks the ceiling below or your new washer
and dryer overloads your circuit breaker, it’s your problem. (Actually —
those were one author’s problems — just recently!) Ah — the joys of home
ownership! These joys do come with a price.
You also have to deal with the responsibilities of home ownership when your
servicemember is away. Is this something that you are prepared to deal with
alone?
The sections that follow go through some of the beneficial and not-sobeneficial aspects of buying a home as well as financing and other factors
you should consider before purchasing a home.

Tax benefits
Don’t overestimate the tax benefits of homeownership! Prospective homeowners, real estate agents, and mortgage brokers are eager to tout the tax
benefits, but they overestimate the actual tax savings. They don’t adjust for
the fact that every taxpayer is entitled to a standard deduction.

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The total of your mortgage interest, real estate taxes, and other itemized
deductions may run about $13,000 per year. However, if you’re married and
file a joint tax return, you’re automatically entitled to a standard deduction of
about $11,000. So, the additional tax deductions you get from owning a home
is only about $2,000 not $13,000!
Multiply the $2,000 in additional deductions times your tax rate to determine
how much taxes you’ll actually save by owning a home. Your tax savings is
probably closer to $300 to $500 per year, which is a far cry from the $2,000 or
$3,000 you might have been planning on.

Major considerations
Purchasing a home isn’t a light decision. You have many things to consider,
especially against the option of leasing. Table 10-1 gets you started by checking
out some advantages and disadvantages to buying a home.

Table 10-1

Pros and Cons of Buying

Pro

Con

It’s yours!

It’s yours!

Building equity

Maintenance costs and responsibilities

Flexibility to make it your home

Inflexibility — you can’t sell it in a hurry

Mortgage interest and real estate
taxes are tax-deductible

Maintenance costs could wipe out any
tax savings

Factors to consider when thinking about buying a home:
 How long do you expect to live in the property?
 If you relocate sooner than expected, would you want to keep the home
and rent it out?
• If so, what is the rental market like in the area?
• What do you think you can get in rental income if you were to rent
out the house?
• How do you feel about being an absentee landlord? (More on rental
property ownership later in this chapter.)
• Are there any reputable rental property management companies in
the area, and what are their charges?
 How much cash is needed to get into a house?

Chapter 10: Housing Options for the Military Family
• Down payment?
• Closing costs?
• Required repairs?
• Desired repairs and remodeling?
• Utility company deposits?
• Furniture, furnishings, window coverings, light bulbs, and so on?
 What is the real estate market like in the area?
• Are there a lot of houses available for sale?
• How does this house “fit” within the neighborhood? Keep in mind
that you never want to have the most expensive house on the block.
 Are you and your servicemember ready, willing, and able to provide the
maintenance necessary to take care of the house, or pay to have people
do this for you?
Check out Home Buying For Dummies for more information.

Buying versus renting
You have a lot of things to consider when deciding whether you would be
better off purchasing or leasing your home. There are advantages and disadvantages to both approaches. A lot of the decision boils down to how long
you plan to live in the home and what you anticipate the cost of rent and real
estate prices to do during the time you own the property.
You can access a great calculator to help answer the question at http://www.
NYTimes.com/2007/04/10/business/2007_BUYRENT_GRAPHIC.html.
If you have the option to purchase a home for $150,000 with no down payment,
or pay $1,000 a month in rent — based on the assumptions in Figure 10-1 —
you can see your breakeven point.

Annual Assumptions

Figure 10-1:
Buying
versus
renting.

Home Price Appreciation

Rental Inflation

0%
1%
2%
3%
4%
5%
6%

6%
4%
4%
3%
3%
3%
3%

Buying is Better than Renting
by End of Year
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
X
X
X
X
X
X
X

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Notice that even if rental inflation is quite substantial, if home prices do not
appreciate, you’re better off renting from a financial standpoint. If home
values go down, you may never break-even financially.
Contrary to popular belief of the 1990’s and early 2000’s, houses don’t always
appreciate. In certain real estate markets home values got so excessively
overpriced that it may take years for home values to stabilize and begin
appreciating again. However, given enough time, a home purchased for a fair
price does tend to be a good investment.
It doesn’t make economic sense to buy a house if you don’t expect to keep it
longer than three years!
Given that most military families relocate approximately every three years, it
may not be advisable for you to consider purchasing your residence. That is,
unless you’re interested in purchasing real estate to upgrade and resell in a
short period of time (see “Rehabbing a property,” below), or retain the home
as rental property when you move on to your next duty station.

Rehabbing a property
You might be able to find a fixer-upper, remodel it yourself, and sell it for
a gain — even if you have only owned the property for a year or two. This
strategy is also known as flipping.
Keys to a successful flip include:
 Buying right. Find the ugliest house in a good neighborhood that has
structural integrity. Some houses just need new owners with a vision,
who are willing to invest some cash and a whole lot of elbow grease to
bring them up to date. Many buyers don’t have the interest or the desire
to remodel a house. Due to this fact, homes requiring significant cosmetic
work can be found at considerable discounts to competing properties.
 Living in the property while you’re going through the rehab. This
helps minimize your costs; however, you have to deal with the mess of
an ongoing construction projects. This can be a deal breaker if you have
young children.
 Having the skills and desire to do a substantial amount of work yourself.
 Having the cash flow and/or cash reserves needed to complete the
remodeling project.
 Having the cash flow and/or cash reserves needed to continue paying the
mortgage on the property if you can’t sell the house as you might hope.
 Planning out a detailed project list, timeline, and budget — and sticking
to it.

Chapter 10: Housing Options for the Military Family
This is one strategy that may work if you’re interested in putting in some
sweat equity in an attempt to profit from a short-term real estate holding
period. If you have the know-how, time, energy, and cash, you could turn
short-term home ownership into a money-making opportunity.
This strategy can be extremely fulfilling and extremely frustrating. Make
sure you do a lot of planning and research before diving into a real estate
renovation. For much more information, read Flipping Houses For Dummies.

Becoming an absentee landlord
Maybe you’ve never heard the term absentee landlord. If not, you’re not
alone. An absentee landlord is a property owner who doesn’t live in the same
community or area as their rental property. This is a remarkably common
phenomenon with military families. They purchased a home and for one
reason or another still own it. Many times this is by design.
Possibly you made the conscience decision to accumulate a portfolio of
rental real estate. Or maybe you buy a fixer-upper in a great neighborhood,
do a wonderful job with the renovation, and yet find yourself holding the
property long after you’ve moved away, but you can’t sell it for the right
price, so you rent it out.
Owning rental properties as investment can be a great wealth-building strategy. Real estate does tend to appreciate over time. It has historically been a
great hedge against inflation. Someone else is actually purchasing the asset
for you — your tenants. You are using leverage — a mortgage and very little of
your own money. And there are tax benefits to owning investment real estate.
Real estate investing is a very legitimate strategy for the educated, informed,
and prepared. There is no such thing as a legitimate get rich quick scheme!
Making money in real estate takes time, skill, and patience.
Beware of late-night infomercials touting “systems” that teach you how to get
rich investing in real estate with no money down. The only people getting rich
off of these schemes are the promoters!
There are a lot of downsides to becoming an absentee landlord to keep in
mind:
 Real estate is illiquid. In other words, you couldn’t sell it in a hurry if you
tried.
 Ongoing maintenance is required, which takes cash and energy, but
you’re not around to perform the maintenance.

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As an absentee landlord it is smart to hire a management company.
They advertise and process rental applications, collect and deposit rent
payments, pay bills on the property, and arrange for service providers
to perform necessary maintenance. Typical fees to a management company are about 8 percent of the rental income per month, subject to a
monthly minimum fee of $100 to $150.
 If you don’t have any or enough rental income coming in to pay all of your
current costs, you could find yourself spending hundreds of dollars a
month to supplement the rental income to make the mortgage payments.
 Tenants can be challenging, to put it mildly. An unruly tenant could
cause hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars in damages to your property. If they don’t want to vacate, you could find yourself in court trying
to force them out of your property. And when they do finally pack up
and move, it could take weeks or months to restore the property to its
original condition so you can rent it again — hopefully to great tenants.

Evaluating your financing options
If after all of these considerations are taken into account and you decide that
homeownership is right for your family — it’s time to consider your best
option for financing your home purchase.

VA loans
One option available to you and your family but not available to your civilian
counterparts is a VA loan. VA guaranteed loans have a number of advantages
over other types of mortgages, specifically:
 No down payment is required.
 Your credit score can be lower than that required for conventional
loans.
 Interest rates are very competitive.
 No mortgage insurance is required.
 Fees for a VA–guaranteed loan tend to be very low and are added into
the loan so there are no out-of-pocket loan closing expenses.
VA loans are not issued by the Veterans Administration. They are guaranteed
by the VA, but issued by traditional banks, savings and loans, and mortgage
companies. The guarantee means that the lender is protected if you fail to
repay your mortgage. Traditional lenders require a down payment of 20 percent, however due to the VA guarantee you can obtain a VA home loan with
no down payment.
To be eligible, your active-duty servicemember must have served in the military
for at least six months. Guard and Reserve members must have served six years.

Chapter 10: Housing Options for the Military Family
When applying for a VA home loan your servicemember will need to get a
certificate of eligibility from the Veterans Administration that certifies they are
eligible to participate in the loan program. Complete VA Form 26-1880, which
is the certificate of eligibility request form. Or better yet, ask your lender to
obtain the eligibility certificate for you through the ACE (automated certificate
of eligibility) system. This online application can establish eligibility and issue
any certificate of eligibility in a matter of seconds.
Your active-duty servicemember must also obtain a statement of service
signed by the commander of their unit, or personnel officer, which shows
their date of entry and their current active duty period.
For more information visit http://www.homeloans.va.gov.
To obtain another VA loan you must have repaid your first loan and sold the
property. You can use a VA loan for your primary residence, but if you want
to accumulate rental real estate you’ll need to use other forms of financing.

FHA loans
The Federal Housing Administration (FHA) insures home mortgages offered
through banks, savings and loans, and traditional mortgage companies. Unlike
VA loans, an FHA loan requires a down payment. However, an FHA loan may be
just the ticket for you if you are a first time home buyer or have very little cash
to put down. FHA generally requires down payments of 3 percent of the home
purchase price.
One of the main advantages of an FHA insured home loan is that your credit
can be less than ideal and you can still obtain a mortgage — at a competitive
interest rate. Due to the fact that the FHA is insuring the mortgage lender
you’re able to obtain financing, with fair credit, and a minimal down payment.
This insurance is not free! To obtain a home loan without having 20 percent
of the purchase price for your down payment you will pay Private Mortgage
Insurance (PMI) premiums. PMI can add $50 to $150 per month to your mortgage payment. You are required to continue to pay this private mortgage
insurance cost until you have at least 20 percent equity in your home.
The mortgage interest on your home is tax-deductible; however, PMI is not!
VA loans are not subject to PMI insurance premiums. If you can qualify for
a VA loan, that should be your first consideration, unless of course, you can
afford a down payment of 20 percent or more. In that case, you’ll likely get
the best interest rate from a conventional loan. Ask your lender.
If you aren’t eligible for a VA loan at this time, and you don’t have 20 percent
for a down payment, FHA can be a great way to go.

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Choosing between a fixed-rate mortgage and an ARM
For the last several years home mortgage rates have been at or near forty
year lows. However, you’ve likely also heard horror stories about families
whose adjustable rate mortgages have skyrocketed and now they are struggling to make their house payments. What the heck is going on? Well, these
folks didn’t have fixed-rate mortgages — likely because they couldn’t afford
the monthly cost of a mortgage payment at the interest rates available for
fixed-rate mortgages — and now they are finding their monthly mortgage payment substantially higher than it was initially.
The interest rate charged on fixed-rate mortgages is guaranteed for the life
of the mortgage, typically 30 years. However, adjustable-rate mortgages may
only be “fixed” for one, three, or five years. After that “fixed” period, the
interest rate becomes adjustable annually. These mortgages are referred to
as an ARM, or 3/1 and 5/1 ARMs.
Adjustable rate mortgages can go up as much as 1 or 2 percent each year after
that initial “fixed” period, but under no circumstance can your total interest
rate exceed the cap documented in your mortgage agreement.
By accepting the risk that your interest rate could go up substantially while
you have this loan, the mortgage company offers you a lower initial interest
rate. There is no reason to accept this uncertainty unless you are absolutely
confident that interest rates are going lower or remaining constant during
the time you have your mortgage, or you are absolutely confident that you
will be paying off this mortgage prior to or shortly after the time that the rate
becomes adjustable. Absolute confidence in the direction of interest rates
requires a perfect crystal ball; however you very likely know how long you
anticipate staying in this house.
If fixed-rate mortgages are available at 61⁄2 percent and you could obtain a
3/1 ARM for 53⁄4 percent — and you know you’ll be relocating in five years or
less — you’d be better off taking the adjustable rate mortgage. See example
in Figure 10-2.

$150,000 Mortgage
Figure 10-2:
Comparison
of fixedrate versus
adjustablerate
mortgages.

Monthly
Yearly (1st 3 years)
By End of Year 3
By End of Year 4
By End of Year 5

Monthly Principal and Interest Payment
30 Year Fixed-Rate
3/1 ARM
Net Difference
$948.10
$11,377.20
$34,131.60
$45,508.80
$56,886.00

$875.36
$10,504.32
$31,512.96
$43,187.76 *
$56,083.20 **

*Assumes 1% increase in interest rate in Year 4
**Assumes another 1% increase in interest rate in Year 5

–$72.74
–$872.88
–$2,618.64
–$2,321.04
–$802.80

Chapter 10: Housing Options for the Military Family

Relocating
You better get used to it — PCSing is part of military life! You may relocate
every two to three years. But how else are you going to see the world if you
stay in the same place very long?
It’s not uncommon to have mixed emotions about relocating. You’ve established yourself in one community and now you need to do it all over again at
your new location. Fortunately, through the military community, you have
a plethora of support available including your Family Support Center, your
current and new installation’s relocation offices, and friends or friends of
friends who may have lived on your new installation or are living there now.
Of course, this section lends a helping hand as well, offering advice and
resources to check out when you’re facing relocating.

Assessing relocation assistance
And just as you’d expect, the military provides detailed guidelines and procedures outlining everything related to relocating your military family. The
following list gives you some great places to access this information:
 Military OneSource counselors are available 24/7 at 800-342-9647. If
you prefer, you can access Military OneSource online at http://www.
militaryonesource.com, click on the category on the left-hand navigation bar entitled Moving. From there you’ll find a wealth of information
on everything from organizing to-do lists and prioritizing what needs to
be done, to who you need to contact, and how you get hold of them.
 To help prepare you for your first PCS assignment, check out all of
the great resources available on the Military HOMEFRONT Web site at
http://www.militaryhomefront.dod.mil.
Your current installation’s housing or relocation office is the place to go for:
 A “welcome aboard” package for your new installation
 The amount of housing allowances and entitlements you may receive
 Information regarding the availability of government housing at your
new location
 Assistance locating off-base housing at your new location
 Help with temporary lodging

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PCS allowances change periodically, and it’s not safe to assume that you’ll
automatically receive certain allowances or entitlements. Check with your
finance office to determine the exact amount of your allowances and
entitlements.
This list details some assistance resources you need to contact as soon as
you get your new PCS orders:
 Set an appointment with your installation’s transportation office.
Transportation office counselors will explain all of your PCS move entitlements and answer all of your questions. One of your first decisions
is whether to have the government move you or whether you prefer to
move yourself. If you choose to have government assistance, the transportation office counselor will schedule your move. And the transportation office can also let you know whether or not you can move yourself
using your own vehicle, hire movers, or rent a truck, and if so, how best
to go about moving yourself.
 Access a copy of the “Plan My Move — Checklist” from the Military
HOMEFRONT Web site at http://apps.mhf.dod.mil/pls/
psgprod/f?p=107:1:2092223026492119. This checklist will enable
you to orchestrate and execute your family’s move with precision. Its
nearly four pages long, with action steps and due dates, working backwards from the date of your move. You’re not going to overlook critical
details if you follow this checklist!
Contact the Department of Defense’s Automated Housing Referral
Network at http://www.AHRN.com. This will help accelerate the
process of securing housing at your new location.
When you get a new PCS assignment a lot of things need to be accomplished
in a hurry. Take advantage of all of the support resources available to you.
And don’t hesitate to ask for help, including help from other families on your
installation. Friends and neighbors are happy to lend a hand to help you pack,
clean, or watch the kids, while you take care of all the details. These folks have
been through moves themselves, and everybody appreciates a helping hand
when it’s their turn.

Establishing community
at your new location
If you didn’t have an opportunity to check out all of the available resources
in your community and surrounding area prior to PCSing, dive right into your
new community at your earliest opportunity. You’ll want to become familiar
with the facilities, and find out who’s who around the installation.

Chapter 10: Housing Options for the Military Family
Drop by your Family Support Center. You may find that you need to borrow
something from the lending closet until your household goods arrive, or
polish up your résumé. The folks at the Family Support Center are a great
resource to help you assimilate into your new community. They’ll fill you in
on what’s going on around town including:
 MWR programs, services, and activities for you, your children, and your
whole family
 The Fitness and Sports Center for classes and training sessions, intramural
sports, and tournaments
 The Skills Development Center for arts and crafts classes for you and the
kids
 The Child Development Center and the Youth and Teen Center
Get out and meet people. Join a group or take a class. Get involved.
Remember, you’re not the only new kid on the block. The sooner you start
establishing community the easier your adjustment to your new installation
will be for you and your family.

Keeping in touch as you move
around in the military
Just as important as it is to establish community at your new location, you
should also make a conscious effort to keep in touch with your old friends
as you or they move. Moving is a way of life for military families, but that
doesn’t mean you have to lose friendships. Rather, you have the opportunity
to have a lot more friends, from all walks of life, living all over the world.
You’ll likely cross paths with friends from former duty stations, and you’ll
meet friends of friends.
With the advent of e-mail and the Internet, it’s much easier to stay connected
with your geographically diverse group of friends. If you don’t already have
one, establish a free email account that you can access anywhere in the
world — presuming you have Internet access. The three major players are
Hotmail by Microsoft, Gmail by Google, and Yahoo Mail. With each of these
providers you can set up private groups. For example, you could have a
Yahoo group for all of your closest friends. Your group stays connected and
is able to view each other’s posts and communications in relative security.
You can even add new friends to your group and friends can bring in their
friends. You can share documents, photos, and even videos. This type of
forum provides a wonderful online social networking community, and it’s
free!

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As important as it is for you to stay connected with your friends, your children may also enjoy having the same type of online community to stay connected with their friends. You may end up participating in a number of online
groups; military spouses, former classmates or coworkers, a couple’s group,
and so on.
Regardless of how private you may feel your communications are, never share
any information with anyone that could jeopardize operational security, or
anyone’s personal security. See Chapter 19 for more information.

Chapter 11

Finding Employment and
Educational Opportunities
In This Chapter

 Exploring your military education benefits

 Assessing which options may be right for you

 Tapping into spousal benefits

M

ilitary service provides access to a wide variety of benefits for you
and your servicemember in the area of education and employment.
Taking full advantage of these opportunities will enable you to truly leverage
your military experience.
Remember to think beyond the paycheck. Total compensation includes
all of the benefits available to you and your servicemember including the
following: 30 days paid leave per year, healthcare, meals and housing, life
insurance, travel, discounts, training and leadership development, money
for school and education assistance programs, plus veteran’s benefits. All of
these add to the immense package of benefits offered to servicemembers and
their families. In this chapter we focus on the educational and employment
benefits available to you and your servicemember. Take advantage of these
benefits, and you’ll get the most value out of your time in the military.
Active-duty servicemembers may qualify for more than $50,000 in education
benefits, which can be used to obtain an undergraduate college degree, specific vocational training, or graduate and post-graduate degrees. Many of the
educational programs available today are designed to fit your military lifestyle. In this chapter we explore the variety of educational benefits available
to you and your spouse, as well as employment assistance and opportunities
that will benefit you.

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Professional Military Education
Servicemembers’ military careers provide them with on-the-job training,
leadership skills, and opportunities for promotion. With each promotion they
gain more skills, have more responsibility, and of course additional pay and
benefits. Each branch of the service has its own process for advancing servicemembers. Regardless of the branch, promotions have the same objectives: to
advance officers and enlisted personnel who possess the right qualifications
and abilities to successfully perform the duties expected of the next higher pay
grade.
How quickly your servicemember is advanced or promoted in the military
sometimes depends on whether or not the next higher rank is understaffed.
Basically it’s the same as the civilian world. If there is a need to fill a position
at a higher level, those people most qualified to fulfill that position will be
considered first for promotion.
Many universities have established special partnerships with the Armed
Forces and have programs available on some military bases. Programs are
accessible to servicemembers and their spouses through independent study,
distance learning, and on-base courses.

Finding Educational Funding
There are many ways to obtain and pay for a formal education. In the
following section we highlight the plentiful options available to you and your
servicemember.

Montgomery GI Bill
We have a saying in the armed forces, “join the military and see the world,”
and all on the military’s tab! But a more likely financially significant benefit is
the opportunity to obtain a college education, specific vocational training, or
an advanced or postgraduate degree — all paid for by the U.S. government!
The Montgomery GI Bill (MGIB) provides a very generous tax-free benefit to
active-duty servicemembers and veterans. More than $38,000 per eligible
servicemember is available that can be used to pay for tuition, books, fees,
and living expenses while earning a college degree or certification from a
technical school. The MGIB can also be used for professional licensing or certification and on-the-job training programs. This benefit is paid directly to the
student on a monthly basis.

Chapter 11: Finding Employment and Educational Opportunities
All active-duty servicemembers are automatically enrolled in the MGIB unless
they choose to “opt out” of this benefit. To “opt out” a servicemember must
do so during the first three days of active-duty. You might be wondering why
anyone would choose to “opt out” of this benefit. Well, two primary reasons
come to mind: one, participation in the MGIB actually requires a contribution
of $100 per month from the military pay for the first 12 months of service. Two,
someone may choose to “opt out” of participation because he already has an
advanced degree or all of the college or vocational-technical education he ever
anticipates wanting or needing.
The benefit of the MGIB is so significant that we highly recommend servicemembers not “opt out” of the benefit. Yes, it costs money to participate, but
in exchange for your $1,200 total commitment you could receive a benefit of
up to $1,075 per month if you are enrolled as a full-time student whether on
active-duty or within ten years after the completion of your service. And you
don’t have to attend classes on a full-time basis. You can receive a pro-rata
share of this monthly stipend if you attend classes on a quarterly or half-time
basis. In just a matter of weeks you can more than make up for the cost of
participating in the MGIB program.
Your servicemember can get an extra $150 per month in MGIB benefits if he
elects to contribute an additional $600 before leaving the service. This option
is called the “GI Bill Buy-Up.” The “Buy-Up” increases your total contribution
to the Montgomery GI Bill program to $1,800, however, it will increase your
total GI benefits by as much as $5,400. That’s not a bad return on investment!
To qualify for the MGIB your servicemember must have completed high
school or have the GED equivalency certificate and have completed at least
two years on active-duty.
The MGIB is also extended to Guard and Reserve members. The Reserve
GI Bill provides your servicemember up to 36 months of benefits, which is
worth more than $10,000 tax-free and can help him pay for college tuition,
books, fees, and vocational training expenses.
To qualify for the Reserve GI Bill your servicemember must:
 Have a six- year enlistment obligation
 Complete his initial active duty
 Have a high school diploma or GED
 Remain in good-standing

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To access your Montgomery GI Bill benefits your servicemember must:
 Verify that the school where degree program is VA approved. Call
888-442-4551 for verification.
 Complete the application for VA educational benefits (VA Form 22-1990).
 Submit the completed form to your school’s registrar’s office.

Post-9/11 GI Bill
In July 2008, the Department of Veterans Affairs released details on the
Post-9/11 Veterans Education Assistance Act of 2008. The new Post-9/11 GI
Bill goes into effect on August 1, 2009 and is considered one of the most
significant and positive changes to the GI Bill since World War II.
All members who have served three months or longer on active duty since
September 11, 2001 are eligible for benefits under the new GI Bill, so long as
they have not used other veterans’ education benefits.
Some major highlights of the Post-9/11 GI Bill include:
 Benefits are free and you have up to 15 years after active duty to utilize
your benefits.
 Benefits may be received for up to 36 months.
 Members with at least 36 months of service are entitled to
• Tuition and fees, paid directly to a public institution of higher
education, not to exceed the most expensive in state undergraduate
tuition. Benefits may be paid for undergraduate and graduate
coursework, as well as, distance learning, vocational, and technical
training. However, the new GI Bill does not cover apprenticeships,
correspondence courses, flight training, and on the job training.
• Monthly housing allowance equal to your basic allowance for
housing (BAH) amount payable to an E-5 with dependents. Not
available to active-duty servicemembers.
• Annual books and supplies stipend of up to $1,000.
 Spouses and dependent children may be able to use the benefit.
 Servicemembers who are currently utilizing or have not yet begun
utilizing their MGIB benefits received a 20 percent raise in their benefits
beginning August 1, 2008.
 Officers who were ineligible for MGIB are now eligible with the Post-9/11
GI Bill.

Chapter 11: Finding Employment and Educational Opportunities
 Guard and Reserve members who serve at least three months on active
duty are eligible for the new GI Bill.
 Unlike the Montgomery GI Bill, a high school diploma is not required in
order to qualify for the new Post-9/11 GI Bill.
For more information on the new Post-9/11 GI Bill visit http://www.
gibill.va.gov/s22.htm.

Tuition Assistance
The Armed Forces Military Tuition Assistance (TA) program is available to
all active-duty servicemembers, and in most cases members of the Reserve.
Each branch of the armed forces determines the maximum amount of tuition
assistance benefit provided to their servicemembers. The maximum benefit
can be as much as $4,500 per year depending on the branch of service.
Tuition assistance is a benefit. It doesn’t have to be repaid, unless your
servicemember fails or drops out of the course or program for which they
are using the tuition assistance benefit.
Tuition assistance is usually paid directly to the institution rather than to the
servicemember. Active-duty members may elect to use their Montgomery GI
Bill in addition to tuition assistance to cover more expensive programs.
Tuition Assistance must be used in the year it is allotted or it is lost. So,
use your Tuition Assistance first and then tap your Montgomery GI Bill if
additional funds are needed to pay for education.

Scholarships and financial aid
There are many sources for scholarships designated to servicemembers,
veterans, and their immediate family members, to help cover the cost of
tuition, fees, books, and in some cases living expenses. You may be eligible
for thousands of scholarships or grants. Most of these awards go unclaimed
each year because people don’t know how to access them.
Servicemembers should check out www.military.com/scholarships for
more information about scholarships and grants that are available to them.
As a military spouse you should visit www.military.com/spouse to find
out more about scholarships and grants that may be available to you.
If for some reason your educational program cannot be fully funded through
the Tuition Assistance (TA) or Montgomery GI Bill programs, and military
scholarships and grants, traditional federal financial aid is also available
to you.

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Tap into your Tuition Assistance program first, then the Montgomery GI Bill
and military scholarships and grants before applying for traditional federal
financial aid.

Continuing Education for Spouses
Nearly 90 percent of military spouses say that they would like to have the
opportunity to pursue additional education. Moving every few years makes
finishing a degree challenging to say the least — challenging, but not
impossible.

Developing a plan that works
You don’t have the luxury that other people have. Unfortunately, you’re
probably not going to be able to stay in one place to finish a degree
program. And you’re going to have to balance your schoolwork with your
military lifestyle, which means taking into account deployments, moves, and
other elements out of your control. It’s possible to finish a degree while
balancing the military lifestyle, but to get on the road to success, reassess
the plan you have in place. Depending on your personal situation, it may not
be practical for you to finish a degree straight through. Here are some things
to remember as you plug away at your degree:
 Don’t get bogged down by numbers. Who cares if it takes the average
person between three and five years to finish an undergraduate degree?
They probably don’t have to deal with the situations and juggle the lifestyle you do. Take the time you need to finish the classes on your own
terms while still taking care of your other obligations.
 Find institutions with nontraditional venues so that you stand a better
chance to finish a degree even through multiple moves. An example
of this is the University of Oklahoma that has multiple outlets at various
military installations. The downside of these programs though is that the
curriculum is limited, and you’re hostage to the classes that are offered.
 If your reason for pursuing higher education is ultimately to contribute
to the family income, research high-growth and portable industries
before you go shopping for a program.

Chapter 11: Finding Employment and Educational Opportunities

Tuition assistance programs
One of the biggest challenges of higher education is finding a way to pay for it.
Refer back to Chapter 9 for information on saving for your college education.
Regardless of how much you’re able to save, the skyrocketing costs of a college education almost guarantees that you’re going to be looking for additional
help. Fortunately, a great number of scholarships exist for military spouses.
Start by looking at your installation. Your installation’s education center will
have information on potential scholarships and other sources of financial aid.
Check out the spouse clubs as they often offer military spouse scholarships.
If you’re stationed overseas, you may be eligible for a special tuition assistance program. The Air Force’s version is the Spouse Tuition Assistance
Program (STAP), but other services have their own version. STAP provides
enough funds to pay a portion of tuition costs and caps the maximum benefit
to about $1,500 a year.
In addition to looking on base, you might also want to look off the installation
for additional opportunities. Many military service organizations and associations offer military spouse scholarships. As with anything else, it’s important
to research the resources available to you. Start by consulting a military
scholarship finder. You’d be surprised at the number of organizations that
offer scholarships.
Don’t limit yourself to military scholarships, either. Remember to consult
reference books at the library to see what other opportunities might be open
to you because of your cultural background or area of study.
Some servicemembers are able to transfer their Montgomery GI Bill benefits
to their spouses. Beginning August 1, 2009, the DoD is making available the
opportunity to transfer MGIB entitlements to spouses and eligible children.
The details of this transferrable benefit are not fully known at the time of this
writing. Please visit www.GIBILL.va.gov for up-to-date information.

Finding Employment Opportunities
for Military Spouses
More than 60 percent of all military spouses are either working outside the
home or currently looking for employment. The transient lifestyles of military
families makes finding and maintaining a job challenging — again, challenging,
but not impossible.

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Getting ready to work
If you’re getting ready to transition from being a stay-at-home spouse or mom
to working, take some time to do some assessment that in the end will help
you find your ideal job. Take an inventory of your skills and interests. Find
out what motivates you. These inventories will help you find a good fit in
terms of a work situation.
Do a self-assessment. What do you like to do? What do you do well naturally?
What tasks bring you a sense of satisfaction? And if you felt like you could
not fail, what would you most like to do? Why do you want to work? Is it to
make money? Do you want to make a difference? Do you just want to enjoy
what you do regardless of how much money you will or won’t make? Sitting
down and taking a few minutes to figure what will make you happy will help
you zone in on the type of work you might be interested in.
After you do a self-assessment, take an inventory of all your experiences.
Include your volunteer experiences, your educational background, and any
technical certifications you have earned. You’re also going to want to include
the professional and alumni associations you belong to. This inventory will
serve as the basis of your résumé.
If you have the time or the interest, you might check into taking a personality
test or type indicator test. These types of “tests” will teach you more
about yourself, help you understand how you work, and the environments
that might work better for you. If these surveys are not available at your
installation family support center, you can find them online.
Now that you have an inkling of what areas you’re interested in, start exploring the different careers out there. The U.S. Department of Labor puts out
a great Occupational Outlook Handbook that is an invaluable resource for
career information. Inside the book, you’ll find information about different
types of jobs and careers. If you’ve ever been curious about what kind of
education it takes to be an entomologist, what you can expect to earn, and
what your typical day might look like, then this is the book for you. You can
find a copy of the book at http://www.bls.gov/oco/.

Cost-benefit analysis of working
outside the home
Once you have an idea of what you’d like to do, it’s important to put together
a plan of action. Do a cost-benefit analysis of working outside the home.
Figure out why you want to work. Is it to get out of the house? Meet other
people outside of the military? Maybe it’s just for your own self-esteem. If
your motivation for working outside the home is any one of these reasons,
then it doesn’t really matter how much money you make.

Chapter 11: Finding Employment and Educational Opportunities
However, if you’re working to add money to the family coffers, then you’re
going to want to pay close attention to the costs associated with working.
Some common things that eat away from your paycheck:
 Childcare costs
 Clothing costs and dry cleaning
 Dining out
 Commuting costs
There are calculators on the Web that will help you figure out what your
anticipated cost of working will be. Try: http://www.bizymoms.com/
cart/careers/bizymoms_calculator.html.
After you know where the challenges are, you can work toward formulating
a good, workable plan of action. Look for creative alternatives to cut costs
such as: flexible schedules, compressed work weeks, carpooling, childcare
co-ops, and packing your own lunch. When you’re researching potential companies, identify military-friendly employers and programs that will allow you
to advance your career around the country. Do your research — talk to other
spouses and gather information.
Knowing what the costs are will help you formulate a plan to make it work.
The plan will also help you determine the dollar amount you have to make
to work outside the home and still meet your financial obligations. Then,
discuss it with your spouse so that he understands what kind of impact your
working outside the home will have on the family. This conversation will help
manage the expectation on both sides.
Bringing your spouse into the discussion of working outside the home is
a very important step that many people choose to overlook. However, it’s
essential to maintaining harmony at home to have the difficult talk and
discuss how you’ll deal with issues that will crop up.

Strategic volunteering
If you find you can’t work outside the home for the time being, there are
numbers of ways you can still get work experience. The one that immediately
comes to mind is volunteering. Because volunteers are key to the military
lifestyle most of the organizations on base will have volunteer opportunities
available. Think about where you hope to go with your career once you join
or rejoin the work force. Try to look for volunteer opportunities to support
your goals. That way you will continue to build résumé bullets. For instance,
if you want to work in the accounting field, you might consider volunteering
to keep the books for the thrift shop or volunteer to serve as the treasurer
for the spouse club.

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As an incentive to entice more volunteers, some base organizations (such as
Family Support Centers and Thrift Shops) will actually reimburse childcare
costs. Childcare is generally provided on a space available basis by the Child
Development Center, and it is only available when funds are available.
Don’t limit yourself to the volunteer opportunities available on base.
Opportunities exist outside the gates as well. If you don’t know what you
want to be when you enter the workforce, volunteering gives you the chance
to try out different jobs without making a huge commitment. Try out the
different industries you think you might be interested in.

Employment support
Installation family support centers will offer services ranging from résumé
critiques, counseling, and ongoing classes on different aspects of employment. You can learn everything from applying for a federal job to evaluating
employee benefits. Consult Chapter 17 for more information on family
support centers.
Military spouses are great at networking to find the best resources with
every move. However, it is sometimes difficult to put this networking skill
to use when looking for a job. For whatever reason, it’s a difficult leap to
make, which is unfortunate because between 60 to 80 percent of people will
find their job through networking. It’s important to let people know you’re
looking. Join networking associations to expand your pool of acquaintances.
These associations will also give you access to additional services and tools
to aid in your job search. They help you keep up to date in your field of interest. Active membership helps you strengthen your leadership, presentation,
and communication skills. It provides you with a built-in support group and
an opportunity to learn about employment and internship opportunities
before they become public.
Even if you’re self-employed, there are organizations out there for you:
 Home-based working moms (www.hbwm.com)
 American Telecommuting Association (www.yourata.com)
 National Association of Home Based Businesses (www.usahome
business.com)

Chapter 11: Finding Employment and Educational Opportunities

Department of Defense and Department
of Labor Initiatives
Help for military spouses looking for careers comes from the joint initiatives
of the Department of Defense and the Department of Labor. In addition to
launching a Web site to support military spouses (www.milspouse.org),
the DoD and DoL have been very proactive in launching a series of programs
to promote military spouse employment.
Portable careers in the military have traditionally meant a career in nursing or
education. However, recently, other programs have been initiated to introduce
spouses to other fields such as real estate and medical transcription work:
 Operation ReMax provides military spouses and others who have a
military connection access to mentoring, ongoing education, and coaching in the highly portable career field of real estate.
 Medical transcriptionist is another portable career choice for military
spouses because of the nature of the work. Most of the data is submitted
electronically, so you can work from anywhere. Additionally, it’s highly
flexible as you control the hours you work. Most employers will give you
a 12-hour block of time to complete your daily work, so if you can be
efficient in allocating your time, you’ll be able to easily balance work and
family obligations. There are educational requirements associated with
the field, but there are many schools that offer military spouse
discounts for this field of study. Check out www.aamt.org/script
content/MilSpouses.cfm for more information.
In an effort to train more spouses in portable careers, the DoD and DoL have
recently launched a Military Spouse Career Advancement Account demonstration. The program is currently available at 18 installations in 8 different
states. Eligible applicants are offered $3000 a year (max $6000 over 2 years) to
go toward education costs. Originally, the program was only open to spouses
of E-1 to E-5 and O-1 to O-3, yet it has already been expanded to include all
active duty military spouses. The industries have also been expanded to be
more inclusive. For more information on the program, consult the Frequently
Asked Questions (FAQs) that can be found at: http://caa.milspouse.org/
Advance/FAQs/.

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Self-employment
You may require a lot more flexibility than working for someone else will
afford you. Luckily, a multitude of self-employment options are out there.
Providing a service or freelancing will allow you the flexibility of picking your
hours while still working your passion.
Are you talented in decorating rooms? Then perhaps you should look into
interior decorating or helping people organize their homes. Maybe you have
a degree in biology or language skills. How about tutoring? Maybe you have
young children and wouldn’t mind taking in a couple of other kids for some
extra money. Are you a writer, photographer, web designer, or proofreader?
All these skills lend themselves nicely to freelancing. Take writing as an
example. Local news is everywhere. Start by writing query letters to editors
and you can find a way to turn your interest into a paycheck.
For the ultimate in flexibility, how about direct sales? Perhaps you’ve been
purchasing those kitchen items, pottery, or baskets. Now you can work the
other side of the table and sell them. In addition to providing you with a discount on the items you were purchasing anyway, direct sales allow you to
make your own hours and determine your paycheck based on how much you
want to work. If you want to work part time and/or work on your own terms,
you still have options open to you.

Military spouse preference program
The Department of Defense has a military spouse preference (MSP) program. The purpose of the program is to give military spouses a leg up in
applying for jobs within the Department of Defense (DoD) by providing
employment priority to those spouses who are accompanying their active
duty sponsors on a PCS move. The hope is that military spouse preference
will lessen the impact that multiple military moves could potentially have on
a spouse’s career. Here’s the lowdown on the program:
 The program is open to spouses of active duty servicemembers, Coast
Guard, and full-time National Guard troops.
 Spouses PCSing with their servicemember to another installation are
able to register for military spouse preference at the installation up to 30
days before the sponsor’s report date.
 If you’re moving to an overseas location, you need to wait until you
arrive before you can register. You can register at any number of
locations within commuting distance of your sponsor’s duty station.

Chapter 11: Finding Employment and Educational Opportunities
 Military spouse preference cannot be used in conjunction with a move
where the servicemember is either separating or retiring.
 Not all jobs are open to military spouse preference. Examples of some
that aren’t are: positions in the excepted service, positions filled from
Office of Personnel Management (OPM), certificates or under agency
Delegated Examining Unit or Direct Hire Authority procedures, and
nonappropriated fund (NAF) positions.
 Preference generally ends once you accept a permanent position or
decline an interview for a valid job.
 More information can be found at installation family support centers.
 Military spouse preference does not mean you’re guaranteed the job.
You still have to be the best qualified applicant.
For more information on military spouse preference, consult: http://www.
defenselink.mil/mapsite/spousepref.html.

Putting it all together
If you know where you want to work, it’s time to get out there and find a job.
So where exactly do you look? Don’t worry — we’ve got that covered for you
in the following list:
 The installation: Family Support Centers are a great place to start. In
addition to leveraging the spouse employment program for access to
extensive programs and services, you can also tap into the job listings
they keep on file.
 The Web: The Internet is also a great tool in your job search. Don’t
limit yourself to the traditional search engines and company Web sites.
Some organizations also have Web sites with jobs databases for their
members/users. Two examples of these Web sites are the Military
Officers Association of America (www.moaa.org) and the Military
Spouse Corporate Career Network (www.msccn.org). Many specialized
Web sites such as www.usajobs.com for federal employment and
www.idealist.org for non-profit jobs are also available.
 Military spouse–friendly companies: While you’re searching the Internet,
you should take some time to check out companies that have been
identified as “military spouse–friendly employers” through programs,
such as the Army Spouse Employment Partnership, and lists, such as
the annual Military Spouse magazine’s Top 10 Military Spouse Friendly
Employers.

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 Staffing companies: Register with staffing companies such as Kelly
Services. It’s usually free of charge, so register with several of them.
In addition to the regular temp jobs, they often list temporary to permanent jobs. If you’re unsure what you want to do when you grow up,
temp agencies might be a good place to start out. Benefits of the staffing
companies include the freedom to try out lots of different jobs without
a huge commitment. Registering with multiple companies also increases
the probability of finding a job quickly.
 Job fairs: If you want to check out lots of different companies at the
same time, check out job fairs. You can check out industry focused or
military-friendly job fairs. Before attending a job fair, do your research. If
there is a Web site with all the participating companies listed, you might
want to take a look. Find the companies advertising the jobs that most
closely match your interests and figure out what booths you’ll visit.
Chances are good that if you pick a good job fair, there will be far too
many booths for you to visit all of them. Be strategic about it. In addition
to doing adequate research, here are some additional pointers:
• Dress professionally and carry copies of your résumé and
reference sheets.
• Develop a 30-second “elevator speech” that speaks to your
professional accomplishments and capabilities in an organized
manner.
• Take notes, write on the back of business cards to distinguish
between representatives.
• If you spend a significant amount of time speaking to someone,
send a thank you note.
 Classified ads: Ads are particularly useful for finding local jobs. Sunday
is usually the first day that ads are run. Respond to the ad immediately
as employers utilizing the classified ads are generally looking to hire
right away. Many newspapers now have companion Web sites to go with
the job listings that are updated more frequently than once a week.
 Network: Reconnect with your alma mater and use the alumni career
services. In addition to taking advantage of special job fairs and possible job listings, it’s a great opportunity for networking. Believe it or
not, even in today’s high tech world, 60 to 80 percent of all job seekers
will still find their next job through networking. Everyone is a contact.
This includes family members, friends, social contacts, mentors, church
members, and service providers (doctors, dentists, hairdressers,
realtors). So get out there and meet people. You never know where your
next lead is going to come from.
 Professional associations: Expand your network by joining a professional
association tailored to your industry. As an example, if you have a lobbying
background, you might want to think about joining an organization such as
Women in Government Relations (www.wgr.org).

Chapter 11: Finding Employment and Educational Opportunities

State initiatives to support
military families
Despite all the efforts being made to remove the impediments to military
spouses being able to finish their education and/or maintain a viable career,
no one can dispute that the constant moves begin to wear on spouses.
Transferring credits from one university to another, moving from state to
state every few months, or even overseas impacts a spouse’s ability to finish
a degree or continue moving up in a chosen career path.
Some of the issues are: the high cost of out-of-state college tuition rates, the
expense associated with military spouses having to pay for certification and
licensure every time they move, and the lag time it takes for spouses to find a
job once they move into a new area. Over the past few years, significant gains
have been made at the state level to remove the impediments to a higher
quality of life for military families.
As an example, understanding the cost of out-of-state could potentially cost
up to four times the price of the in-state tuition rate, the Department of
Defense State Liaison office has made much headway in getting states to sign
on to providing in-state tuition for servicemembers and their dependents
in the state where they’re stationed. Many of the states have also agreed to
extend the in-state tuition benefits after the servicemember has PCS’ed.
Spouse employment issues also present a burden to many military benefits.
Every time a family moves, spouses who work in professions such as nursing or
teaching have to pay for another state certificate or license. These differences in
certification requirements can hamper a spouse’s re-entry into the job market
after moving to a different state. The State Liaison Office is pursuing alternative
certification through the American Board for Certification of Teacher Excellence
(ABCTE) program that is portable from state to state (of participating states)
and would allow spouses who achieve the certification to teach without a break
in service. They’re also going after states to adopt the Nurse Licensure Compact
or to make similar provisions for military spouses who are transferring from one
state to another.
Some states now assist spouses to become certified teachers through the
“Spouses-to-Teachers” program. More information can be found at: http://
www.spousestoteachers.com/.
Finally, despite all the great programs, spouses will inevitably be faced
with a PCS that will force them to leave their job and spend some time out
of the work force while they’re looking for employment. Many states have
now acknowledged that military spouses are being forced to move in support
of their servicemember. Many states now provide unemployment benefits
for military spouses. More information on this and other initiatives of the
DoD State Liaison Office can be found at: www.usa4militaryfamilies.
dod.mil.

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Part III:

Supporting the
Military Family

Y

In this part . . .

ou’ll be happy to know that you’re not in it alone.
There are a multitude of resources and organizations
out there to support military families. In this part, you’ll
learn more about the official resources as well as the community assistance available to you. You’ll also learn critical skills to building a strong military marriage and raising
a family in the military.

Chapter 12

Raising a Family in the Military
In This Chapter

 Looking at your childcare options

 Understanding the military education system

 Raising kids while moving around

 Using community resources

M

ilitary brats (as we fondly call our kids) have the same needs as any
other child. They crave independence but count on the unconditional
love and support of their parents at the same time. Where they differ from
their civilian counterparts is that they often grow and develop in the absence
of their servicemember parent. Due to crazy work schedules and a frenetic
op tempo, you could possibly end up being a single parent for a good
percentage of your children’s formative years.
In homes where both parents are currently serving, inevitably, a family faces
times of being geographically separated. Unless the two servicemember parents can always get assigned to the same installation, chances are good that
in addition to the occasional deployments, they may also be given different
assignments.
Kids sometimes have a difficult time understanding why one parent keeps
missing the milestones or why they always seem to get the short end of the
stick when it comes time to pick room parents or team managers. A servicemember enlists and willingly chooses the military as a way of life. Military
spouses for the most part know what they’re getting into when they marry a
servicemember. Children, on the other hand, have no choice. Raising happy,
well-adjusted children in the military can be quite the challenge, but in this
chapter, we tell you about the realities of raising children in the military as
well as how to overcome the obstacles.

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Finding Childcare
The military is filled with families. And many military families in which both
spouses work, list childcare as the highest expense associated with one spouse
working outside the home. When you think about the challenge that families face
as their childcare needs change in the face of deployments, you can only imagine
what a huge deal affordable and/or flexible childcare is for military families. And
unless you’re fortunate enough to be stationed near your family, you can’t count
on family support for childcare like your civilian friends can. So, you’re going to
have to be a lot more independent and look to other options.
To get started, figure out what your childcare needs are. Are you looking
for hourly drop-in slots or are you looking for full time care with flexibility
in case you need to drop your child off early and pick up late? Perhaps you
work part time and you’re looking for something more than drop-in care but
less than full-time care. Regardless of your situation, determine your needs
and take stock of all the alternatives available, which we just happen to
discuss in the following sections.

Occasional or part-time care
You can check out several options if you only need occasional or part-time
care. Try looking at the following:
 Childcare co-ops operate where a number of families get together and
decide to share childcare duties. Members of the co-op earn “points” by
providing childcare. They spend “points” by redeeming them for childcare.
Everyone’s kept straight by the “secretary” who is either elected or
appointed. This person keeps track of all the points. When a family
needs childcare, they will call the secretary with specifics such as date
and time. The secretary will then try to locate a sitter within the co-op
who is willing to take the “job,” After the care is provided, both parties
agree to the number of points and report it to the secretary.
The secretary can be “paid” for her service with extra points, or the
co-op might decide that the position of secretary should be shared by
everyone in the co-op on a rotational basis.
Advantages to co-ops include:
• You don’t exchange money because families trade childcare duties.
• Children get close to different families.
• Children interact with each other and develop social skills under
the watchful eye of parents.

Chapter 12: Raising a Family in the Military
 Volunteering might be a good, free option available to you if you’re
searching for childcare so that you can get out of the house and be
around other adults. Many organizations on the installation will pay day
care expenses for their volunteers. And getting out of the house and volunteering will give you valuable experience to add to your résumé. Refer
to Chapter 11 for more information.
 Go to your installation’s gym and check to see if it has free childcare. If
you’re tired of being cooped up in the house and the weather’s just not
going to allow you to go running around with the jogging stroller, maybe
you’re looking for some time at the gym and wondering what to do with
your child. Some installations actually offer some type of child minding
at the gym.
 Some gyms in town also offer inexpensive classes for children that will
allow you to squeeze in a workout while they’re occupied and socializing.
Places such as the YMCA sometimes even offer very reasonably priced
pre-school classes for children that allow you to get in a regular workout
right on site. The sessions are also long enough to give you time to run
errands on your own. An added advantage of the preschool classes is that
the kids have an opportunity to socialize and learn skills in an educational
environment, which helps them prepare for kindergarten and give you
some time to yourself.
 Many churches also offer some types of preschool classes, if you’re not
hung up on having the kids on site where you’re working out.

Comparing on-base vs. off-base options
Now, if you’re looking for full-time childcare because you both work outside
the home, then part-time and occasional solutions are probably not going to
work for you. However, this complication doesn’t mean that you don’t have
options. We discuss your options in the following sections.

CDC (child development center) on-base childcare
In Chapter 3, we discuss that every effort is made to ensure that high-quality,
affordable childcare is available to military families. Most every installation has
a child development center (CDC). Some installations are even large enough to
warrant more than one facility. The centers generally provide care for children
between the ages of six weeks and 12 years old. Although the majority of CDC
users are under the age of five, the centers also run a school-age program known
as school-age care (SAC). SAC programs are offered for children (ages 6 to 12
years) before and/or after school and during holidays and summer vacations.

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The child development centers follow a priority ranking system that ranges
from facility to facility, but top priority tends to go to people stationed to the
installation in the following order: single/dual active duty military; single/dual
DoD civilian employees; active duty military with a working spouse and DoD
civilian employees with a working spouse.
Childcare costs at these facilities are subsidized, determined on a sliding
scale, and based on a family’s total income so the CDCs are a relatively
affordable option. The facilities also open a little earlier and stay open a little
later than comparable places off base to accommodate military schedules.
Unfortunately, because the child development centers are so affordable and
convenient, there is usually a long waiting list.
It’s never too early to start planning. Get on the waitlist at the CDC as soon as
you know you’re pregnant.

FCC (family childcare) — on-base childcare
For those who cannot get into the CDC, other options are available to you. For
the convenience and price most comparable to the installation CDC, check
out the family childcare (FCC) program on base. Through the FCC program,
certified day care providers living in government housing provide flexible
childcare options to include night, weekend, and hourly care. These types
of slots fulfill about a third of military childcare requirements, but even with
these additional spots, not everyone is going to be able to be accommodated
on the installation.

Getting help for off-base childcare
Because it’s impossible to meet 100 percent of the childcare needs on the
installation, the resource and referral (R&R) programs are critical to the DOD’s
ability to refer families to quality childcare off the base when care is unavailable on base. That’s where the resource and referral (R&R) programs pick up.
Available at most military bases, these programs offer referrals to childcare in
the local community. Because it’s impossible to meet 100 percent of the need
on the installation, R&R services are critical to the DOD’s ability to refer families to quality childcare off the base when care is unavailable on base.
In addition to the referrals you can get from the CDC, you could also be eligible
for some additional resources. The Department of Defense (DoD) has entered
into a partnership with the National Association of Child Care Resources and
Referral Agencies (NACCRRA) to help servicemembers and their families find
affordable healthcare in their community. Along with the locator services,
NACCRRA also has some programs in place that subsidizes the cost of childcare
for certain demographics. The programs differ from branch to branch, so you
need to check out the Web site and research the options open to your sponsor’s
specific branch of service: www.naccrra.org/MilitaryPrograms.
Some families have a difficult time finding childcare because they live too
far away to tap into base resources. Our Military Kids (OMK) is a NACCRRA

Chapter 12: Raising a Family in the Military
program geared to families who don’t live on or near a military installation,
helping them to find affordable childcare and in some cases to subsidize it.
While the program is open to everyone, it’s intended for families of deployed
Guard/Reserve members.

Educating the Kids
It’s hard enough making friends in school. Factor in a move every two to
three years and you begin to understand the challenges facing our military
kids. Typically, military children move between six to nine times over the
course of their parent’s typical 20-year military career.
Your children’s anxiety of having to start all over again is compounded by the
fear of being behind because they’re possibly starting a new school months
after the official first day. We show you in the next sections all the resources
available to support military children, and simply by understanding what’s
available, you can mitigate some of your children’s fears and anxiety.
Regardless of what type of schooling you choose for your children, military
children have a difficult time of maintaining continuity throughout their school
experience because each state has different graduation requirements. There is
movement afoot to get an Interstate Compact signed that will standardize the
high school requirements from state to state. To read more about this, go to
www.usa4militaryfamilies.dod.mil/portal/page/mhf/USA4/USA4_
HOME_1?current_id=22.60.30.0.0.0.0.0.0&content_id=242181.

Making smart decisions
When you start looking at schools, you can find many options to choose
from. Regardless of whether you choose to send your children to a parochial
school, other private school, the base school, or decide to forego all these
options in favor of homeschooling, you can find many helpful tools to take
advantage of:
 Military families: Your best resource is going to be other military families, particularly other spouses. I’m sure you already know someone who
either just came from the base you’re moving to or who could get you in
touch with someone still at the base. If they have kids who are around
the same age as yours, all the better. It is from these other spouses and
friends that you will get the inside scoop on who the best teachers are,
what schools are better for sports, band, or other activities your children
might be interested in. Having the information going through the filter
of someone who knows you and your kids will give you some valuable
insights into what might work well for you and your family.

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 Internet: If you don’t have the luxury of knowing someone from the
installation, try the Internet. Regardless of what options you’re
researching, tons of Web sites can help you make your decision.
• Homeschool: Because of the constant moving or a perceived lack of
quality, affordable educational options, many military families choose
to home school their children. If you’re looking into it, check out
your state Web site for information on how to get started and issues
specific to military families. As an example, Alaska has a great Web
site www.homeschoolinginalaska.com that not only answers
Frequently Asked Questions, but also has links to homeschooling
resources in other states when it’s time for you to move on.
• Public schools: If you want to go the more traditional route and
check out public schools, Web sites such as www.greatschools.
net can compare schools within the area you’re moving to. This
specific Web site rates schools based on criteria such as: principal leadership, teacher quality, extracurricular activities, parent
involvement, safety, discipline, and overall quality. It also allows
you to compare schools in the same school district or narrow it
down to compare schools within a certain mileage radius from a
home you might be considering. While not absolutely scientific,
the Web site will give you a good picture of the schools in the area
you’re moving to.
• On-base school: If you think your kids might be headed to a school
on a military installation, check out: www.dodea.edu/home/
index.cfm. This is the main Web site for the Department of Defense
Education Activity and from the home page, you can link to your
specific school. You’re going to be amazed at all the information you
can find online at the site. You’ll like knowing what type of checklist
you should follow for your child to transfer into the school and more
information about transportation. Your kids will appreciate knowing
what types of activities are offered at each of the schools, what school
supplies they’ll need, and even what they’re serving for lunch. Your
kids’ needs aren’t so different than your own. They want the most
information available to allay some of their fears.
These are only a few of the Internet resources available to you, but you
get the idea. If you can imagine it, you can find it on the Web. Once you
have an idea of what you’re looking for in terms of an education solution
for your kids, start your research by consulting the Internet.

Department of Defense schools
Chances are good that your kids will have the opportunity to attend a DoD
school, so you need to catch up on the following information:

Chapter 12: Raising a Family in the Military
 The umbrella of Department of Defense Education Activity (DoDEA)
consists of the 199 schools around the nation and worldwide. Overseas,
DoDEA operates the Department of Defense Dependents Schools
(DoDDS). DoDEA also operates the Department of Defense Domestic
Dependent Elementary and Secondary Schools (DDESS) located in the
United States and its territories and possessions.
 DoDEA provides education to eligible DoD military and civilian dependents
from pre-kindergarten through grade 12.
 Not knowing what they can expect, some parents worry about the quality of education their child will be receiving. They worry needlessly. One
hundred percent of DODEA schools are accredited. On average, DODEA
students score above the national average on standardized tests, and
the schools maintain a high graduate rate of nearly 99 percent.
 Outside of the fact that half the audience of the PTA meetings will likely
be wearing a uniform, it would be hard for you to discern any big differences between DODEA schools and other great schools you may have
attended. They have gifted and talented programs as well as academic
and extracurricular activities.

Leaving the nest
Just when you begin to wonder how many more schools your kids will have
to transfer into or how much more you all can take, you turn around and it’s
time to start visiting those college campuses.
The nomadic lifestyle of military families is not terribly conducive to making
those college visits. Keep this in mind: It’s never too soon to start visiting
those schools and combining those visits with trips home to the extended
family or other travel near the schools your child is considering. The years fly
by and before you know it, the kids will be headed off to college, and you’ll be
left wondering where the time went.
Because the years can fly by, it’s never too soon to start saving for a college
education. Refer to Chapter 9 for more information on saving for college.
Fortunately, military children have many scholarship opportunities available
to them. Consult a scholarship finder to narrow down your choices. The different types of scholarships out there will amaze you. Scholarships can be as
specific as available only to children of people who graduated from a service
academy.
In addition to going to the Web to find scholarships, look in your local community. The spouse clubs, commissary, and officers/enlisted clubs all offer
scholarships for military children. You just need to know they’re out there.

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Like everything else, although the scholarships and grants are available,
they’re just not going to come knocking on your door. You’re going to have
to go seeking them out. Get your kids involved. Make it part of the whole college application process. Get them started early, take notes of what programs
they’re eligible for, and mark down significant deadlines on a calendar so you
don’t miss anything.

Moving Around
One of the biggest challenges of being a military family is the constant moving.
As soon as you begin to put down roots and get to know people, it’s time to
pull up stakes and move again. Imagine how potentially difficult this is for
kids who may not always understand why they have to say good bye to their
friends yet again. It never gets easier to leave your friends behind, but by
checking out the tips we provide in the following sections, you can support
your kids through these transitions so that their adjustments will occur faster
and with greater ease.
Sometimes the fear of the unknown can make kids cling harder to what they’re
comfortable with. Not knowing what they can look forward to at the next
installation makes it hard for them to say good bye to the familiar and their
current friends. It’s going to be a stressful time for your kids, so take that into
account when they’re acting a little more unreasonable or surly than usual.

Focusing on the positive
With all the nuisances attached to moving around, it’s easy to lose sight of
the fact that moving around also affords you some tremendous opportunities.
Your children are going to get to visit the places that most other children will
only be reading about in their textbooks. Other children will be admonished to
be tolerant and culturally literate. Your kids will live it.
If you’re fortunate enough to get stationed overseas, they’ll get to visit
countries and meet people that will serve to expand their horizons. With a
few steps, you could help them maximize their experiences:
 Visit the DoD link created just for children in transition at http://www.
defenselink.mil/mtom.
 Help them look up or point them to the Web to check out information on
the new installation.
 Figure out what’s worth seeing and make plans to go.
 Find out if your new installation offers the youth sponsorship program.

Chapter 12: Raising a Family in the Military
 If you’re moving overseas, encourage your children to learn a second
language. They might enjoy trying it out in real world situations.
 Remind them that these are opportunities being afforded to them that
many other children will never experience.
When it is time to move, don’t sneak out of town — make a big deal out
of it by hosting a get together. Depending on the age of your kids, let the
older ones have their friends over for a get together where they reminisce
and lament with one another because one of the bunch is moving. For the
younger kids, have a party and invite all their friends. Regardless of the age
of your children, they need closure. Here are some ideas to help your
children prepare to stay connected with their friends:
 Circulate an address book of sorts so that your kid’s friends can provide
their contact information.
 Have extra change of address cards made up so that they can hand them
out to their friends if they feel like it.
 Take lots of pictures.
 Cut your kids a lot of slack. Transitions are never easy. For kids especially,
leaving friends and the familiar is always difficult.

Joining in sports and recreational
activities
One of the easiest ways to get kids out of their funk and out there meeting new people is to keep them involved. If your child is passionate about
a sport or an activity like dance or music, then research the options at the
new base or community. Make this part of the house hunting process. Just as
you’ll visit schools, visit the community centers and find out about the youth
sports available.
The common interest of a sport or activity will help draw your kids out of
their shells. It serves as another avenue for your kids to make new friends.
Plus, it’s great for them to have something to jump right into.
If you’re moving from a warm place to a cooler one, you may find a whole
slew of new sports for your kids to get into. Moving from Hawaii to Idaho,
maybe they want to check into skiing and winter sports they may never have
tried before. You know your kids best. If they get excited about sports, make
the effort to find activities for them to take part in.

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If you’re coming in during the summertime, make an effort to find some
summer camps your kids can take advantage of. If they like the traditional
camps where they’re canoeing and hiking and spending lots of time outdoors,
go through the parks and recreation departments of your town. The youth
centers on base will also have options. Whatever their interests are: writers’
workshops, drama camps, or maybe a robotics camp, you can help them find
something that works. If your child is into scouting, find a new troop for them
to join.
Get the kids involved as soon as possible. Facilitate their involvement by
doing some of the legwork for them. Consult community resources such as
the installation Youth and Teen Center to find out what’s out there. Making
a concerted effort to get kids involved is particularly important if you move
over the summer. It’ll help for them to have some friends on that first day of
school.

Making sure that your kid’s
best friend comes along
With all the turmoil associated with a PCS, the last thing you need is to be
surprised by the pet quarantine requirements at your new overseas location.
Imagine how upset your kids are going to be when they find out that they’re
going to be separated from their best friend for weeks to possibly months.
Don’t let this happen to you. If you have a family pet and have received
orders to move overseas, start figuring out how to make the move smoother.
Most installations in locations where they have quarantine in effect have
fact sheets or Web pages dedicated to the topics. For example, if you’re
moving to Misawa AFB in Japan, you can check out the following Web site
for information: www.misawajapan.com/pcs/petsin.htm. Keep in mind
that you’re going to have to fill out forms and make arrangements both for
shipping your pet overseas as well as kenneling them once they arrive in the
country. This could potentially be a very time-consuming process, so crank
this into your checklist of things to do when you receive your orders for that
overseas tour.
It’s undeniable that quarantine is highly inconvenient and stressful for families, but up until a few years ago, there was a mandatory six-month quarantine
in place for pets arriving in the United Kingdom, which has since changed to
a minimal quarantine period. Just a reminder that although a nuisance now,
quarantine used to be a lot worse!

Chapter 12: Raising a Family in the Military

Staying in touch
When you’re moving around so much, it’s challenging enough bonding as a
family. Expand the circle to include grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins
and the notion of staying in touch can quickly become somewhat daunting. Do yourself the favor of acknowledging that you can’t be everything to
everyone. You’ll be tempted to keep everyone happy. You’ll be pulled like a
wishbone to accommodate everyone’s needs and desires to have you travel
to visit them, but remember that travel works both ways. Your relatives can
just as easily make the trip to come see you.
While it’s important for you to stay connected to your extended family and
make some of the milestone events if possible, it’s even more important for
you to balance that with the needs of your immediate family. Remember that
you are your child’s best advocate. Be selfish with their time and schedule.
Take care of their needs first and accommodate others when and where
you can.
In addition to your extended family, you should both make an effort to stay
in touch with friends throughout your military career and encourage your
children to do so as well. Chances are high that you will run into them again
and if your kids are friends, those relationships serve as another support
system for them. It’s just as thrilling for your kids as it is for you to find out
that they’re going to be stationed at a new base with their old friend from a
couple assignments ago.
Remember that April is Month of the Military Child. Web sites such as www.
monthofthemilitarychild.com provide ideas for crafts and activities to
celebrate with your kids. Our military kids don’t have an entire month dedicated
to them by accident. It’s an acknowledgement that they serve too.

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Chapter 13

Maintaining Strong
Military Couples
In This Chapter

 Connecting as a couple

 Unwinding together

 Using community resources to keep your marriage strong

 Taking care of yourself when things go wrong

I

f you were one of the lucky ones who married with a full military wedding complete with dress uniforms, sabers, and the arch, you probably
left the church with stars in your eyes. All the pomp and circumstance that
surrounds a military wedding can be quite heady. The men are so handsome
in their uniforms; they exude a presence that is larger than life. And going
through the rituals of a military ceremony with the grand finale of leaving the
church under an arch of sabers, you get a sense that you’re getting a taste of
something steeped in tradition. Then as you’re just about to clear the arch
and your exit is barred by a pair of crossed sabers and you feel someone
playfully slap you on the rear with a saber before you’re allowed to leave, you
begin to realize that you’ve become part of the family, the tradition.
But, as with all fairy tales, there are ogres, dragons, and difficulties as you
travel your road to happiness. Extended separations, an incredibly stressful
job, and being on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year can wear
down any relationship. Add to that the type of focused person who tends
to gravitate to the military, and you run the risk of ending up in situations
where one spouse has a hard time engaging in meaningful conversation. You
begin to get the idea. A strong relationship in the military does not happen by
accident, and in this chapter, we take you through some ideas that can help
make your military marriage a great one . . . as long as you’re willing to put in
a little work!

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Communicating Effectively
If you’re not good at communicating with each other, you may as well roll
up the carpet and call it a day — your marriage is headed down a long and
bumpy road. Servicemembers’ jobs are like none other. They stand a much
greater chance of walking out the door one day to go to work and possibly
never coming back. That’s not meant to be a scare tactic, that’s just the reality of the situation. Take the following sections to heart and put the ideas we
provide to good use in your marriage to keep effective lines of communication open consistently. You’ll not only end up enjoying each other’s company
much more, but you’ll also enjoy an increased level of mutual respect and
feel more prepared for anything that comes your way.

Dealing with your long-distance
relationship
Even under the best of circumstances, extended absences and stressful work
situations complicate communication. You as a reasonable human being will
have reasonable expectations that your spouse will always want to be with
you and at home. You will want to believe that every minute that he is apart
from you thousands of miles away, he’s miserable. Most of the time, that’ll be
true. But some of the time (actually, most of the time), you’ll resent the fact
that while you are dreading the deployment and the separation; he seems to
be skipping out the door. You’re not imagining it. That probably is a smile on
his face. He has the nerve to be excited about leaving.
Don’t take this personally. It’s no reflection on you or your marriage. You married someone in the military, that rare person who generally loves what they
do. Well, there’s got to be a trade off. And that trade off is that in addition to
love of country and patriotism, they genuinely love what they do and are miserable when they are sitting behind a desk and not doing what they love. So,
love them enough to let them go and do what they do best. However, first be
proactive and talk about issues that might come up. The time to talk is well in
advance of a pending deployment or TDY. More about this in Chapter 16.
Now here’s the trick. Communication doesn’t just mean the words you speak
out loud. Read the nonverbals. It is possible for him to love you, dread leaving you, and still anticipate the adventure ahead. Look for the non-verbal
signs that communicate that he cares about you and worries about your well
being while he’s gone. If he’s taking the cars in for maintenance right before
he goes and checking all the various hoses, valves, and what-nots that could
leak or break, he’s doing it because he cares about your safety. Remember
that communication extends beyond the spoken word. Sometimes it’s the
actions that speak volumes.

Chapter 13: Maintaining Strong Military Couples
Career military members are not generally conflicted between leaving the
family behind and doing their job (if they were, they would probably separate from the military). To them, it’s not a choice. They’re just really good at
compartmentalizing their emotions and they need to be. Once they’re out the
door, they turn off the family compartment and concentrate on the mission.
And trust me; you want them to be that way. Being able to take for granted
that you will be perfectly fine on your own allows them to focus on the task
at hand and contributes to their situational awareness. Don’t resent the time
that they’re away from you. Just try to make the most of the time that you’re
together by doing the following:
 Develop the friendship. Remember it’s just as important to like your
spouse as it is to love him. Take the time to figure out the things that
you enjoy doing together and develop some shared interests that you
can do as a couple.
 Approach military life as a partnership. You’re in it together and
should approach things as a team. As with any other marriage, it’s a give
and take, but military marriages are unique in that there will be times
when your service member’s career will take the lead and require you to
make the bulk of the sacrifices. If you aren’t approaching this challenge
hand in hand and managing expectations on both sides, then the road
ahead will surely be a bumpy one.
 Lavish praise, support, and encouragement. Just because he comes
across as a self-assured professional doesn’t mean he doesn’t have his
moments of insecurity as well. He needs to know that you believe in
him. Be each other’s best cheerleaders. A side effect will be the positive
example you set for your kids. If they see that you can be positive and
supportive of one another even in the face of some tremendous challenges, they will develop a healthier ability to power through difficult
times with grace under pressure.
 Take time to talk to one another, and not just when you have a problem. One of the biggest perks of being married is having that person to
talk to who won’t judge you. Your spouse is the ultimate “safe” person
to talk to. You should be sharing your feelings, dreams, and concerns.
 Agree to disagree. Sometimes, you’re not going to see eye to eye on an
issue. Approach it reasonably; be respectful in listening to your spouse’s
side; and really hear what he’s saying. At the end of it, you may still not
be able to reach a consensus, but if you come to it with an open mind,
you can continue the conversation and perhaps reach a compromise.
 Touch base with one another through e-mails, phone calls, or notes to
let your spouse know you’re thinking of him.
 Be flexible and understand that some things are out of your spouse’s
hands. He can’t control everything and it’s generally not his fault when
he gets called in unexpectedly to work or is sent off on a no-notice TDY.

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 Continue to build the trust. Building trust is very important to surviving
the long separations. If you can’t trust your partner, the absences will
just exacerbate those seeds of distrust.
Like anything else worth having, a strong relationship is a lot of work to maintain, but don’t just look at it as working toward a goal. Think of it as a journey
and imagine all that you’ll learn about one another along the way. Remember
that you’re both learning and growing every day, so there’s always something
new to talk about. Take the time to listen to one another and you’ll have no
problem communicating.

Managing expectations
The challenging part of a military career is that it doesn’t really leave much
room for the nonmilitary spouse to have much of a separate life, which is
particularly true if you have children.
For many military couples, the expectation is that the nonmilitary spouse will
be the one who makes the sacrifices. When the call is made and the military
member has to deploy or go away on a TDY, not a second thought is paid to
whatever responsibilities are left behind. You are left holding the proverbial
bag. So, if you want some help, it’s in your best interest to make sure you
manage expectations on both sides. Figure out what you’re each responsible
for so that neither of you gets your feelings hurt nor is disappointed when
something is overlooked or is forgotten.
Most military members do a great job at putting their affairs in order before
they leave. Perhaps that means generating automatic bill pay, getting powers
of attorneys, getting the cars serviced, replacing the broken faucet, or any of
the other tasks that will help make your life a little easier while they’re gone.
But you share the responsibility of making sure things are done ahead of time.
Otherwise, the responsibility will be all yours when they’re gone.
Operate on the assumption that it’s going to be very difficult for the servicemember to take care of issues that might crop up during a TDY or deployment. Try to get things as organized as possible so that when you are alone
for months on end and acting as the single parent, you won’t have the additional stress of having to take on your spouse’s responsibilities. If you don’t
do a good job of managing expectations, you could likely start resenting
having to take on the extra responsibilities. Once you start down that slippery slope, it’s hard to come back without making some changes in your life.
More about coping with deployments in Chapter 16.

Chapter 13: Maintaining Strong Military Couples
When you talk about managing expectations, an array of topics immediately
spring to mind when it comes to decisions you should probably have to make
at some point or another:
 Does your servicemember plan on staying in?
 Are you considering overseas assignments?
• If kids come along, is there an expectation that one parent will stay
home? If so, for how long?
• How many kids?
• Where will you live once you retire?
• How will the finances be handled? Will there be a dedicated
household account?
• Is there an expectation that you will visit parents on a regular
basis? When? Who gets what holidays?
These examples are just a few of the decisions you may face, but you get the
idea. These topics aren’t any different from topics all married couples would
address, but what sets you apart is that being married to a servicemember
takes away some of the flexibility in the answers. All expectations have to
stem from the basic premise that one of you will be out of the picture for big
chunks of time. Additionally, regardless of what you collectively decide, the
needs of the service will ultimately determine where you go. However, it’ll be
good to know that neither one of you is interested in going overseas in case
that’s an option that finds itself on the table one day. And the only way you
would know that is by having the conversation.
Expectations are a funny thing. They shift constantly. If you don’t loop in
your spouse, you’re setting him up for failure. He can’t read your mind. Just
thinking you told him about something isn’t enough. Slow down and really
talk things over. If you can both go through how things will impact your
family and come up with a plan of action to mitigate the possible fallout, then
you stand a better chance of getting what you want. And if you approach
everything with a team mentality — that you’re in it together — you stand a
better chance of succeeding.

Respecting one another
Just as with any other successful marriage, you’re going to have to respect
each other as individuals with individual needs. You don’t stop growing and
learning when you get married, and it’s important that your partner recognizes
your need to have your own life. Just as you respect your military spouse’s
decision to serve in the military, he needs to respect your choices as well.

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This list contains some of the major issues that can disrupt the level of
respect in a marriage:
 Finances: The issue of finances comes laced with landmines and a
number of opportunities for disagreement. However, just because you’re
worried about having uncomfortable and potentially contentious discussions doesn’t mean you shouldn’t talk about them. It’s important that
you both work off the same sheet of music. Be interested and ask for an
explanation of what’s coming in and what’s going out. When your husband is deployed or TDY, chances are good that you’ll have to handle
the family finances, so it’s a good idea to have the conversation well in
advance. Prioritize where you want the money to go and discuss the big
purchases. Important decisions should not be made in a vacuum and
you should both respect one another enough to take into account each
of your points when discussing.
 Raising the children: Child rearing is another area where mom and dad
might have differing views on right and wrong. For so many reasons, it’s
important to present a united front. Respect your spouse enough to not
naysay him in front of the kids. Because your spouse will be out of the
house for extended periods of time, it’s going to be challenging enough
trying to keep him involved in your children’s lives without encouraging
insubordination.
Each parent is going to come to the table with definite ideas about how
the kids should be raised, but ultimately, you’re both going to have to
decide what’s in the best interest of your child. Some questions to ask
yourself and to discuss with your spouse include:
• Public school or private?
• What’s a fair allowance?
• What types of chores should kids be expected to do?
• How should they spend their summer vacations?
• What types of activities should they be allowed to participate in?
• What type of religious education will the kids get?
• How often are they supposed to see their grandparents?
 Military spouse employment: While the servicemember will recognize that it’s great to have that second income to enhance the family’s
quality of life, it doesn’t always make it easy to accept the fact that the
dynamics of the family will change when both parents work. Who’s
going to stay home if one of the kids has to be picked up from school
with a temperature? Who’s going to sit at home and wait for the plumber
because your toilet’s leaking? I’ll give you a hint — it’s not going to be
the servicemember. Or if it is, you need to know what the expectation is
right off the bat. Unless you’re both working off the same page,
opportunities are rife for disagreements and disappointments.

Chapter 13: Maintaining Strong Military Couples
Spouse employment is a tricky subject, and the adjective was carefully chosen. We all want to develop our own professional life, but if
you are on a career track and married to a currently serving member,
something’s going to have to give. Faced with moving every two to three
years, it is nearly impossible for spouses to maintain a career while their
servicemember spouse is still serving. Someone’s career is going to have
to matter more, which leaves the other spouse making all the sacrifices.
As the servicemember only has so much control about where he goes
next, it’s going to be up to you to find (or make) a portable career.
Often, the spouse has very few options and might start to resent the
servicemember for putting her in that position. Keep in mind that this
situation is not forever. Your time will come. Find ways to grow in your
chosen career path while still supporting your servicemember. And keep
talking openly about your expectations. Temper these discussions with
the reality of military service and what you can and can’t control.
Spouse employment is a very contentious topic that hits close to home
for many people. This desire to have something of your own is one
reason that DoD is so focused on this issue. We all understand that
quality of life issues such as spouse employment, transferability of
credentials, and licensure impact the issues of recruiting and retention,
decisions that are made around the kitchen table.
If you keep the lines of communication open and constantly running, you can
both enjoy each other’s respect. To enjoy mutual respect, try out these ideas:
 Once you establish the ground rules, stick to them. If you need to
change something that has already been decided, bring it back to the
table. Don’t deviate from the plan without looping in your partner.
 Don’t let things spiral out of control — consult one another. Although
you may have to compromise while your servicemember is still in, your
time will come. It is possible to have it all, just not all at once.
 Continue to learn and grow throughout your life together. If your
spouse can’t support and respect you, that’s going to cause problems.
So develop good rituals that allow you to visit on a regular basis so that
nothing comes as a surprise. Your spouse won’t receive a nasty surprise
when you want to go back to school, if you’ve kept him in the loop the
entire time. Allow him the opportunity to be your best advocate.

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Unplugging
We’re all very good at the daily grind, but we get so intent on checking the
squares that we often forget to stop and smell the roses. Unfortunately, we’re
all good at putting ourselves last. Life sometimes gets in the way of our best
intentions of working toward our own goals and interests. It’s entirely too
easy to be consumed by your life in the military to the extent that your
identity becomes wrapped up in the unit or the service. Find ways to balance
that with other interests or activities that will help you develop some clarity
and keep things in perspective. Along these same lines, it’s helpful to cultivate
friendships outside of the circle of the military. Think of your church, school,
or clubs. Having civilian friends opens the circle of support you have
available to you.
The unfortunate thing about the military lifestyle is that you essentially live
in a fish bowl. That’s especially true if you live on base. There’s a general feeling that you’re constantly being scrutinized, that you’re always “on.” Feeling
as if you’re living under a microscope can start to wear on a person. The
stress of trying to maintain a strong and united front doesn’t always leave
you a lot of time to take care of yourself. The stress can also start to wear on
your relationship if you don’t take the time to regroup every once in a while.
To maintain your equilibrium, you need to unplug from time to time and get
reacquainted with one another away from the hustle and bustle of the base
and the demands of the job. Here are some ideas:
 Try to inject some romance into the equation by making the effort to
set up a date night (without the kids) for just the two of you.
 Go out with other couples or stay in and have a game night with a
babysitter on site for the kids. It’s important to hang out and make
friends as a couple.
 If your servicemember is working ridiculously long hours, see if you
can set up a lunch date. Bring him lunch or meet him on base somewhere. Find time where you can steal a half hour or so in the middle of
the day.
 Find a hobby you both enjoy and can do together. This hobby can be
anything ranging from running together to entertaining. It’s great to have
common interests to talk about outside of your military life.
 Volunteer together as a family. Doing something for others together
will help instill in your children the importance of being involved and
spending time together on philanthropic pursuits helps you develop
other common interests.

Chapter 13: Maintaining Strong Military Couples

Accessing Help to Make
Your Marriage Healthier
Sometimes talking it out isn’t enough. The stress can start to get to you and
you might need a little extra help. Needing help is no reason to be ashamed.
In today’s world with the crazy op tempo, we’re all working hard to hold it
together. But, if you feel like things are getting a little out of control,
fortunately, you can go to many places to get help.
If you’re comfortable speaking to your chaplain, the base chapel should be
the first place you start. Most base chapels offer pre-marriage and marriage
counseling. The programs help you develop good, solid tools in approaching problem solving and will enhance your communication skills. There is
no shame in being pre-emptive and searching out education and additional
resources to nurture your relationship.
In addition to faith-based initiatives, the different services also make marriage enrichment programs such as retreats available to troops and their
families. Consult the chapel and the base Family Support Center to learn
more about the resources available to you.
If you’re not comfortable going to the chapel, you can call Military OneSource
directly for referrals and additional assistance. Along these same veins, if you
work outside the home, your employer may have an Employee Assistance
Program (EAP) that provides access to confidential counseling sessions free
of charge. Find help where you can and make an investment in your marriage.
If your problems stem from abuse, contact Family Advocacy immediately.
They can provide the assistance you’ll need to remove yourself from the
situation in a safe manner. They also have preventative classes in topics such
as: anger management, conflict resolution, and parenting. See Chapter 17 for
more information on Family Advocacy programs.

Divorcing
Sometimes, try as you may, things just don’t work out. Whether it’s because
you’ve grown apart or the stress of the lifestyle is just too much, you’re not
alone in not being able to work through it. It’s going to be hard to sever your
ties to the military, but at some point, you’re going to have to start looking
out for your own best interests.

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As a military spouse, you are used to having to take care of yourself and not
asking for help, but this is one thing you shouldn’t try to handle on your own.
You’ll need the following help:
 Get yourself a civilian lawyer who is knowledgeable in the area of
military law and divorce. With any military divorce, it is important
to retain the services of an attorney who understands the Uniformed
Services Former Spouse Protection Act (USFSPA). USFSPA allows the
courts to treat military retirement pay as they would any other marital asset or property. It also grants the Defense & Finance Accounting
Service (DFAS) the authority to make direct payments to the former
spouse under certain conditions.
Do not sign anything without first having your attorney check it out.
 Educate yourself on military law and policy. An attorney is helpful, but
be your own best advocate. Don’t let someone else decide what is best
for you.
Depending on how long you’ve been married and how long your servicemember spouse has been in the military, you may be entitled to
keep some of your military benefits. The general rule of thumb that you
hear bandied about is 20-20-20. For those married at least 20 years to a
servicemember who has served at least 20 years and for whom there is
an overlap of at least 20 years of marriage with 20 years of service, they
get to keep their military ID card and are eligible for all benefits (except
Space-A ) unless they remarry before the age of 55.
For those who meet the 20-20-15 rule, they get to keep only their medical benefits for one year after the divorce at which point they become
eligible for the Continued Health Care Benefit Program (CHCBP) which
they must pay for.
Regardless of what you think you’re entitled to under USFSPA, it is ultimately the decision of the state court that decides the division of property. Some states are more military friendly than others. In all cases,
stack the deck in your favor by getting yourself an attorney who is well
versed in divorce and military law.
 Get counseling. Divorce is not an easy process. Depression and anxiety
will likely come along with the territory. Seek professional help. Getting
counseling and/or other help will give you the objectivity and calm that
you need to make rational decisions for yourself and your children.
 Keep your children’s teachers and administrators up to date. Chances
are good that the divorce will also be tough on your kids. They’re going
to feel conflicted, their loyalties torn between two parents. Get their
teachers and administrators looped in to what’s going on. And if you
notice any red flags, get your kids the help they need.

Chapter 13: Maintaining Strong Military Couples
In addition to getting the help you need to get through your military divorce,
you also need to keep in mind the following:
 Remove your rose-colored glasses. Your instinct will be to trust your
ex, but remember, he will protect himself first and foremost, and you
need to do the same.
 Think long term. While you’re going through the process of divorce, it
can be taxing just trying to get through each minute, but you need to
look past it and see the big picture. In addressing the issue of property
settlement, think about what you will need to take care of yourself and
your children. Take into account what you’re going to need to get the
kids through college, think about what your earning potential is, think
about sudden medical emergencies.
 Be honest with yourself. No matter how much you might want it, no one
can tell you what to do; not even your attorney. When it’s all said and
done, you have to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and know that
you did the right thing.
Remember that the Survivor Benefit Plan (SBP) deemed election is in play
as well. If you’re already the beneficiary, you have only one year from the
divorce to contact DFAS to change the election from spouse to former
spouse. If you don’t do this, you miss out.
Military divorce brings with it some other challenges — all of which are
individualized to each situation. In some cases if there are children involved,
your children will retain their military ID cards (if you share custody), and it
could be difficult for you to access your children’s benefits if you no longer
have a military ID card. You should keep all of these things in mind when
going through the property settlement.

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Chapter 14

Tapping into Community Support
In This Chapter

 Figuring out where to find the resources you need

 Checking out the obvious

 Connecting Americans to the troops

 Finding help online

 Representing your best interests

W

hile you can find a wealth of programs and support services on the
installation (see Chapter 3), you may be surprised to find the array of
programs offered off the installation as well. You can take advantage of a vast
number of organizations and nonprofits outside the official channels that are
looking to provide support to military members and their families. Whether
you’re talking about programs being offered by state or federal governments,
non-profits, or grassroots initiatives, half the challenge is in figuring out what
type of support is available to you and your family. Although finding these
organizations requires a little more work on your end, with the info we provide
you in this chapter, your workload just got a little lighter.

Starting at Square One
This section could also be called: not overlooking the obvious. The resources
that exist to support servicemembers and their families are great, but don’t
narrow your options right off the bat. Start where everyone else does — at
square one.
Regardless of what you’re looking for, don’t limit yourself to the services and
resources that are available on the installation or to those services specific
to the military. Looking around at more traditional resources available to
everyone, you might find better programs to suit your needs. The Internet
opens up your world and leaves you with little excuse as to why you can’t
find the type of support you need. But if you discount traditional research
and focus solely on military resources, you could miss out on some helpful
sources. Here are some examples:

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 Business: If you’re interested in starting a business of your own, take a
look at the Small Business Administration (SBA). The SBA is currently
running a special program called the Patriot Express Pilot Loan Initiative
geared directly to eligible military members, veterans, and their spouses
who want to start or expand an existing business.
For more information on this program, check out the information at:
http://www.sba.gov/patriotexpress/.
 Education: If your main focus is the quality of your children’s education, start by understanding the resources available to you through the
school, the county, and the district. You’d be amazed by the number
of programs available to supplement the education they get during the
regular school year. Many districts offer summer school not just for
students who require extra assistance, but also for other students who
are looking to get a head start on the school year by taking a class over
the summer. While not free of charge, these programs are a good way
to help your kids meet other children over the summer if you happen to
PCS to a new area outside of the regular school year.
Before moving to a new state, try to familiarize yourself with the educational climate. Figure out if there are considerations such as in-state
tuition benefits for military dependents and any other programs to
support your family.
 Home: If you’re looking to buy a home in your new location, don’t discount affinity programs with real estate companies that might garner
you a discount on your realtor’s commissions. And definitely don’t
overlook the Department of Veterans Affairs when looking for your loan.
Information about the VA home loan program can be found at: http://
www.homeloans.va.gov/. More about financing a home in Chapter 10.

Getting Support for the
Guard and Reserve
Because Guard and Reserve members and family are not always on active
duty, there is more of a challenge in providing support to Guard and Reserve
families when they are activated. Unlike their active-duty counterparts,
they are generally not used to self-identifying as members of the active-duty
force and may not necessarily understand the benefits available to themselves or their dependents. There’s a very good readiness guide that gives
a broad overview: http://www.defenselink.mil/ra/documents/
BenefitsGuide0929.pdf.

Chapter 14: Tapping into Community Support
One of the great things about our Guard and Reserve families is that they are
very adept at finding community resources. Since they are tied to the states
until federally activated, their moves are not generally predicated by their
military service. It is more the norm rather than the exception that they are
not located near a military installation. Thus, their thoughts do not necessarily go right to the installation for family support. With the advent of the war,
we are using our Guard and Reserve components of our military services as
we have never before in history, and it’s starting to show in the wear and tear
on the families and the employers. Therefore, the services, the Department
of Defense, and other interested parties have made a conscientious effort
over the past five years to beef up family readiness for the Guard and Reserve.
Check out www.guardfamily.org for information on resources available to
you state by state as well as an overview of your military benefits.
The biggest issue facing Guard and Reserve members with the current
deployment tempo is ensuring that their jobs are still there when they
return. The Uniformed Services Employment and Reemployment Rights Act
(USERRA) is the biggest source of employment support for activated Guard
and Reserve members (find out more about USERRA in Chapter 16).
When issues arise between Guard and Reserve members and their employers
and the parties involved are unable to reach a mutually acceptable solution,
the servicemember should turn to the Employer Support of the Guard and
Reserve (ESGR). ESGR is a group within the Department of Defense that exists
to promote understanding and cooperation between guard and reserve members and their civilian employers. They assist in resolving conflicts that arise
between servicemembers and their employers during periods of activation
and can be found at www.esgr.org.

Finding Support at the State Level
Outside of the federal military benefits you and your family are entitled to,
don’t forget to check out the benefits available to you at the state level. This is
particularly relevant to the Guard and Reserve population. Each state provides
widely disparate benefits to all military servicemembers and veterans, such as:
 Some do not have a state income tax.
However, remember that military dependents have to pay income tax
for the state in which they reside and work.
 Some allow you to not have to renew your driver’s license while the
servicemember is actively serving in the military. (Check on your state’s
DMV Web site to understand the rules that govern their regulations for
military personnel and dependents.)

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However, military personnel who come into the military as residents of
one state and want to transfer their residency to another need to consult their installation legal office. Generally speaking, you have to physically reside in a state before you’re able to claim residency. However, in
most cases, if you intend to return to the state after leaving the military,
you can maintain your residency even after you have PCSed. This
usually only applies to the servicemember.
 Even the benefits afforded to military dependents vary greatly:
• Depending on what state you reside in, you may be eligible for different benefits. A majority of states grant in-state tuition rates to
the dependents of military personnel stationed within the state.
Of these, most of them allow for the continuation of these in-state
tuition rates even after the servicemember has PCSed to their next
duty assignment.
• Another benefit offered by states to support military families is the
unemployment benefit. Depending on which state you are PCSing
to, you may be eligible for unemployment benefits.
 With the advent of the DoD State Liaison office, the Department of
Defense has gotten much more adept at working with states to remove
the impediments to a better quality of life for military families. They
have identified ten key issues and have been working diligently to
address them with each of the 50 states. The issues are:
• Care and support of the Guard and Reserve
• Assistance to severely injured servicemembers
• In-state tuition
• Military children during school transitions and deployments
• Spouse employment
• Unemployment compensation
• Predatory lending
• Voting
• Foreign language requirements
• Accessible support for military families
They have made remarkable progress in getting states to come on board
with in-state tuition. Now they’re pushing the military children, during school
transitions and deployments, by trying to get states to come on line and
sign an interstate compact that would make it easier for children to transfer
schools from one state to another by standardizing requirements. The issues
they work are significant to all of us, and you can check on what your state is
doing to support these initiatives by referencing the DoD State Liaison Web
site at www.usa4militaryfamilies.dod.mil.

Chapter 14: Tapping into Community Support
There are several maps throughout the Web site that show where each state
stands in supporting the proposed initiatives. You’d be surprised by how
quickly the state liaisons work, so check back often for updates and news
on how things are going. There is also information on the site on how to get
involved in case any of these issues resonate with you and move you to take
action. More about the DoD State Liaison office in Chapter 11.

Supporting Military Families
When you talk about organizations that have historically supported military
families, few organizations stand out from the pack. The USO and the Fisher
House Organization are two examples of organizations that are steadfast in
their support of the troops. However, with the advent of the war, many more
people and organizations have heeded the call to serve and have done some
tremendous work. In the sections that follow, we focus on the two with a
great historical record of support: the USO and Fisher House.

The United Service Organizations (USO)
Since before the United States entered World War II, the United Service
Organizations (USO) has been providing support to our servicemembers and
their families. Although their mission may have expanded, the USO primarily
still serves to link the American public with troops stationed overseas and
to bring a taste of home to the troops. The USO is probably best known for
their service of bringing celebrity entertainers to the troops out in the field.
Everyone from singers, comedians, and athletes has participated in USO
tours to visit the troops. This practice goes back decades to World War II
when the Bob Hope Christmas shows became a USO tradition for over three
decades.
Nowadays, the USO has expanded its mission to support the troops through
a myriad of other programs to include: United through Reading, Operation
USO Care Package, Operation Enduring Care, Gifts from the Homefront, and
many other programs. You can learn more about all these programs and
more by visiting the USO Web site at www.uso.org. Regionally, the different
USOs also participate in other programs to support military families. As an
example, in the metropolitan D.C. area, the USO has partnered to sponsor a
Military Spouse Career Expo. Take the time to check into your local USO and
find out more about the programs and services they offer in support of
military families.

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Fisher House Foundation
Another organization that stands out among all the others is the Fisher
House Foundation. The Fisher Houses were founded by Zachary and
Elizabeth Fisher as a “home away from home” for families who are visiting
their wounded servicemembers at military treatment facilities. There are
dozens of Fisher Houses around the country and overseas (in Landstuhl,
Germany) where family members can stay at absolutely no cost. Information
from the Fisher House Web site (www.fisherhouse.org) tells us that, since
their inception, the Fisher Houses have served more than 110,000 families,
provided over 2 million lodging days, and saved families more than $90 million in lodging costs, plus savings on subsistence and transportation costs.
And the houses are just the start. Among many other programs, the Fisher
House Foundation also runs a Heroes Mile program. Through this initiative,
the foundation has partnered with numerous airlines to allow people to
donate their frequent-flier miles for use by wounded servicemembers or their
families who may want to fly to their bedside. So far, they have provided over
13,000 airplane tickets.
Although Zachary Fisher was unable to serve in the armed forces because of
a leg injury, he still found an admirable way to serve his country and support
the servicemembers and their families whom he respected so well.

Growing Grassroots Military Support
The media reports that the military is at war while America is at the mall.
That may be true to some degree, but all around the nation, schoolchildren,
grandmothers, and other regular citizens are seeking to help by doing what
they can and contributing their talents to support the troops in meaningful ways that defy this ideology. It seems that anywhere people see a need,
homegrown groups are rising to the challenge, looking to fill a niche and provide a service.

Checking out grassroots efforts
After discovering a need, various types of resources and organizations have
been founded to support the military, and the following list provides you
with a sample of what they offer:

Chapter 14: Tapping into Community Support
 Those looking to support military children have founded organizations
that allow the children to apply for “grants” that go toward paying
for homework assistance or fees for extracurricular activities. Also a
number of groups have stood up to provide scholarships for military
children as well as free camps to children of deployed servicemembers.
Other camps are geared toward the children of wounded warriors. Even
more programs such as Snowball Express (www.snowballexpress.
org) allow children who have lost a parent in the line of duty to forget
their cares for a weekend and just be kids. Understanding that there
is no greater therapy than being amongst their peers, all these camps
share the common goal of letting kids bond with other children who are
facing the same situation.
 Stories of families being stuck at military medical facilities for months
on end at their servicemember’s bedside because they either don’t have
private vehicles or the money to wander off the facility prompted other
groups to act on their behalf. Some organizations started collecting gas
and phone cards as well as restaurant coupons for the family members
and caregivers of the wounded.
 Stories of wounded warriors laying in hospital beds without appropriate clothing because their prosthetics wouldn’t allow them to wear the
clothing issued to them prompted even others to start sewing adaptive
clothing. Many people remembering the way soldiers were treated when
they returned from Vietnam wanted to make sure that today’s soldiers
understand that they are coming home to a grateful nation. The desire to
provide these wounded warriors with a tangible token of their gratitude
prompted thousands of quilters to begin a movement to sew handmade
quilts for servicemembers.
 The families of servicemembers deployed overseas often fall prey to
Murphy’s Law. If it can go wrong, it will go wrong and usually when
your husband is TDY or deployed and always all at once. Several organizations have sprung up to provide emergency funds for families of
deployed servicemembers. These organizations generally pick up where
the service aid societies leave off.
 Once the warriors are out of the hospital and the military, there are even
more organizations standing ready to provide help with life rehabilitation
and employment assistance.
Definitely look outside the box for your resources and support, but don’t
forget the more traditional forms of support as well. The service aid societies
exist to provide emergency aid to servicemembers and their families, so don’t
overlook them.

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Getting to know America Supports You
Since the advent of the war, the number of charitable organizations that
have stood up have exceeded anybody’s wildest expectations. Some of the
frustration stems from the fact that many of these organizations overlap one
another in terms of the support and resources they seek to provide. It can be
frustrating trying to find what you need. Fortunately, America Supports You
gives you a good starting point.
America Supports You is the brainchild of Allison Barber, Deputy Assistant
Secretary of Defense for internal communication and public liaison and military spouse. Recognizing that communities, individuals, and corporations
were looking for ways to support military members, Ms. Barber established
America Supports You in 2004 as a means of matching needs with resources.
The Web site can be found at www.americasupportsyou.mil. When you
visit, you will find hundreds of groups interested in providing support to servicemembers and their families. Servicemembers and their families who are
seeking help or assistance can then go to the Web site and search under the
different categories for programs that may match their needs.
In the event that you’re looking for a good cause to donate to, many of these
organizations accept donations through the Combined Federal Campaign.
The organizations and programs are listed under categories that include:
 Receive computer donation
 Get frequent-flier miles
 Receive gift certificates
 Get help for the wounded
 Get help so you can help others
 Learn about entertainment for the troops
 Learn about homes for disabled troops
 Receive letters and messages
 Receive military family support
 Scholarships
 Receive and send packages
 Service aid societies
 Training and placement for veterans
 Tragedy assistance

Chapter 14: Tapping into Community Support
The Web site also serves as a great opportunity for anyone to get involved.
Individuals wanting to support the troops or just help out can read about
the different organizations in their area and reach out to those that appeal to
them if they have time or donations to offer.
Every year, America Supports You also sponsors Freedom Walks across the
country. This tradition was born out of a desire to honor the victims of 9/11.
In communities around the nation, individuals join together to walk and pay
tribute.

Searching the Web for Support
Regardless of whether you choose to use the more traditional forms of
family support or tap into the newer technologies, the advent of the Internet
ensures that military spouses don’t have to feel like they’re alone in their
situations anymore. In the next sections, we describe two ways you can find
online support with military spouses who are either in or have been in the
same situation as you.

Connecting through online communities
It seems like since 9/11, any number of online communities have popped up.
Spouse community Web sites such as www.spousebuzz.com, www.mil
spouse.com, and www.cinchouse.com have really picked up with the ops
tempo. These communities are generally moderated by more experienced
bloggers and posters, but outside of that they’re a free for all. By logging into
these forums, spouses are able to post questions and ask for advice from
other spouses and “experts” who have gone through or are going through the
same experiences.
It’s great to get advice on handling deployments with the kids or what to
do when you haven’t heard from your spouse in a while. Social networking
through these venues can fulfill your need for that connection with other
adults while sharing information.
You should be cautious about posting on these sites and always be
conscientious of operational security. Do not post information that you
would not want your mom or employer to read. And most definitely resist
sharing any information about troop movement or other details pertaining to
the deployment.

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Faced with having to take one more of the household duties and responsibilities during a deployment, people with questions about their benefits have
started using these forums to bounce things off of other people. Think of
thousands of your friends and acquaintances available for you at all hours
of the day. Regardless of what you throw out there, chances are someone’s
gone through it and is ready to offer some advice. A lot of family members
are turning to these forums as a means of venting and support.
The disadvantage of utilizing these forums to cull information is that they
are not generally monitored by experts on military pay and benefits, so you
have no way of knowing if the information being given is 100 percent
accurate. Think of this as a starting point, and make sure you always verify
the information you receive through official channels.

Burning up the airwaves
In addition to online spouse forums, there are a number of military spouses
who have taken to the airwaves to share their stories and experiences. Some
such as www.militaryspouseradio.com are centered around work and
career topics while others such as www.armywifetalkradio.com and
http://navywiferadio.wordpress.com/ take on more of the lifestyle
issues. The shows regularly highlight military spouses and what they’re
doing in their little corner of the world as well as subject matter experts on
issues of interest to military spouses and families. The shows are a great way
to feel connected to the military spouse community through the airwaves
and to stay abreast of new programs that may be of interest to you. It’s a
relatively new phenomenon for family members to have information that
speaks directly to them presented in this format.
The shows come and go quite rapidly, but there are always others coming up
behind them to fill the void. As always, Internet search engines will help you
keep up to date with the newest offerings out there.

Tapping into The Military
Coalition (TMC)
All around you, you’ll find organizations working on your behalf. Getting
involved and finding support is easy enough if you know where to look. The
Military Coalition (TMC) is a great place to start.
While the currently serving demographic generally steers clear of all things
legislation, perceiving a conflict of interest with military service, it is absolutely alright to join a military association. They are “your” professional association and look out for your best interests on Capitol Hill.

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In the sections that follow, we introduce you to TMC, its organizations, and
what it can offer you.

Discovering what TMC is all about
The Military Coalition (TMC) is an umbrella organization for a group of 35
military, veterans, and uniformed services organizations that includes (in
alphabetical order):
Air Force Association (AFA)
Air Force Sergeants Association (AFSA)
Air Force Women Officers Associated
(AFWOA)
American Logistics Association (ALA)

Military Officers Association of America
(MOAA)
Military Order of the Purple Heart (MOPH)
National Association for Uniformed Services
(NAUS)

AMVETS (American Veterans)

National Guard Association of the United
States (NGAUS)

Army Aviation Association of America
(AAAA)

National Military Family Association (NMFA)

Association of Military Surgeons of the
United States (AMSUS)
Association of the United States Army
(AUSA)
Chief Warrant Officer and Warrant Officer
Association of the United States Coast
Guard, (CWO&WOA)
Commissioned Officers Association (COA)
of the United States Public Health Service, Inc.

National Order of Battlefield Commissions
(NOBC)
Naval Enlisted Reserve Association (NERA)
Naval Reserve Association (NRA)
Navy League of the United States (NLUS)
Non Commissioned Officers Association
(NCOA)
Reserve Enlisted Association (REA)

Enlisted Association of the National Guard
of the United States (EANGUS)

Reserve Officers Association (ROA)

Fleet Reserve Association (FRA)
Gold Star Wives of America (GSW)

Society of Medical Consultants to the Armed
Forces (SMCAF)

Jewish War Veterans of the United States of
America (JWV)

United States Army Warrant Officers
Association (USAWOA)

Marine Corps League (MCL)

USCG Chief Petty Officers Association
(CPOA)

Marine Corps Reserve Association (MCRA)
Military Chaplains Association of the United
States of America (MCA)

The Retired Enlisted Association (TREA)

Veterans of Foreign Wars (VFW)
Veterans’ Widows International Network
(VWIN)

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The goals of the Military Coalition are to:
 Maintain a strong national defense by recruiting and retaining skilled
and highly capable personnel in the seven uniformed services
 Maintain fair and adequate compensation and benefits in order to
attract and retain professional uniformed servicemembers for careers of
service to the nation
 Represent the interests of the entire uniformed services community,
including families and survivors
 Respond to assaults upon the compensation and benefits earned by
members of that community through years of service
 Educate the public on the extraordinary demands and sacrifices associated with a career in uniformed service and the need to maintain a system
of compensation and benefits to recruit and retain the high-quality
personnel needed to meet the nation’s defense requirements

Figuring out how you fit in
Even though they commonly work together under the umbrella of The
Military Coalition, the organizations do not always fall on the same side of
every issue. They all act autonomously, and not all the organizations have
the same platforms. Find one that resonates with you. Organizations such
as the Air Force Association (AFA) and the Association of the United States
Army (AUSA) focus more on hardware, while organizations such as the
Military Officers Association of America (MOAA) and the National Military
Family Association (NMFA) focus strictly on the softer personnel issues.

Making the case on Capitol Hill
While the TMC organizations maintain their own
membership rolls, together under the umbrella
of the Military Coalition, they represent over
5.5 military members and their families. This
equates to quite a punch on Capitol Hill. Thus,
the TMC has been instrumental in a number of
legislative wins for military and military families
to include:
 TriCare for Life healthcare benefits
 Increased Servicemen’s Group Life
Insurance (SGLI) benefits

 Increased Montgomery GI Bill education
benefits
 Pay raises for the currently serving exceeding those proposed by the administration
 Improved PCS reimbursement rates
 Phased out SBP/SS offset (Widow’s tax)
 Won major restrictions on predatory
lenders

Chapter 14: Tapping into Community Support
When added to the 5.5 million other voices, your voice does matter. Regardless
of whether or not you choose to be actively engaged, you are providing a proxy
for the associations to work on your behalf. It’s hard to argue with testimony
from an organization that represents so many people.
In addition to their advocacy, a number of the organizations are full-service
associations. So when you’re looking for an association to represent your
best interests, don’t discount the other benefits and services that these associations offer. Some are more robust in their offerings than others, but here is
a sampling of what they can provide for you:
 Offer scholarships to military dependents
 Sponsor award programs
 Hold national conventions
In addition to general offerings, check out the details of what these two organizations can provide:
 The National Military Family Association (NMFA), originally begun by
a group of military spouses, provides free summer camps for children of
deployed servicemembers (Operation Purple Camp) as well as scholarships for military spouses (www.nmfa.org). It has a regular legislative
newsletter that goes out and regularly testifies on Capitol Hill on quality
of life issues for military families.
 The Military Officers Association of America (MOAA) is the largest
association of military officers and their surviving spouses with nearly
370,000 members. MOAA is also a co-chair of the TMC. They have an
award-winning Web site and monthly magazine. They gave out over $8
million worth of interest-free loans and grants to military children in 2008
alone. Their Officer Placement Service runs at least two career fairs a
year and provides members and their spouses with career counseling, a
jobs database, and network contacts to help with their job search. They
also hold several signature events each year that allow them to bring in
subject matter experts to discuss topics of interest to military members and
their families. They maintain a suite of publications addressing every stage
of a military career and life as well as many other products and services for
their members. Check them out at www.moaa.org.
Outside of The Military Coalition, there are other associations who are working on behalf of military families. An example of this is the Military Spouse and
Family Legacy Association. Started by two friends, this is a young organization
working to have a monument built in Washington, D.C., recognizing the contributions and sacrifices of our military spouses and families. The idea that they
came up with during a cross-country trip quickly evolved — within months —
into legislation with the help of Representative Thelma Drake (VA). See more
at www.militaryspousemonument.org.

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Chapter 15

Dealing with the Disability or
Death of a Family Member
In This Chapter

 Coping with the realities of loss

 Assessing the military benefits and services available to you

 Figuring out where to find the resources you need

C

oping with the loss of a loved one or adjusting to life after disability
will take a toll on even the strongest people. The death of a spouse is
considered the most traumatic life event people encounter. Severe disability,
both physical and mental, can at times be more challenging for a military
family than the loss of their servicemember. Due to the nature of service in
the Armed Forces, premature death and disability are all too common for
military families.
In this chapter we discuss the many support services provided families and
surviving spouses.

Dealing with Disability
Disability is often viewed as the inability to see, hear, speak, or walk, and so on.
The medical profession has made great strides in helping people to adapt as
best as possible to loss of sight, hearing, speech, and mobility. That’s not to say
that these disabilities are any less challenging to you or your servicemember;
however, medical treatments and technological advances can reduce some of
the burden faced by veterans with physical disabilities. And our society at large
is more accepting of individuals with visible disabilities, as opposed to those
disabilities not easily recognizable, such as traumatic brain injuries and with
individuals challenged with other mental disabilities, such as post-traumatic
stress disorder (PTSD).

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Traumatic brain injuries
A traumatic brain injury can have lingering effects. These impairments may
affect communication, hearing, sensory perception, and motor functions,
along with subjective symptoms that adversely affect your servicemember’s
quality of life.
The Veterans Administration proposed changes in early 2008 as the number
of cases of traumatic brain injury in veterans increased. The reason for this
increase in traumatic brain injuries is due largely in part to the types of weapons used in combat today.
You might presume that a brain injury is something visible. However,
many traumatic brain injuries received by servicemembers of the Iraq and
Afghanistan wars are severe, but invisible. Some traumatic brain injuries are
hard to detect and go undiagnosed for months, if not years. Due to this fact,
your servicemember or veteran may not be receiving the medical care and
treatment that he needs.
If in doubt — check it out! Start with your local medical treatment facility.

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
PTSD is an anxiety disorder affecting thousands of combat veterans. If your
servicemember is experiencing persistent frightening memories, has trouble
sleeping, startles easily, or feels emotionally numb, especially towards those
he is close to — like you — he may have post-traumatic stress disorder.
Other symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder include increased:
 Irritability
 Aggressiveness
 Violence
 Inability to be intimate
 Avoidance of situations and anniversaries that remind them of the incident
Here are some things you may notice about your servicemember:
 You may be experiencing events when your servicemember loses touch
with reality and believes that the traumatic incident is happening all
over again.
 Your servicemember may lose interest in things he used to enjoy.
 Families of servicemembers that are affected by PTSD say their veterans
seem like different people.

Chapter 15: Dealing with the Disability or Death of a Family Member
Most combat veterans don’t develop full-blown or even minor PTSD.
However, you should be aware of the symptoms and recognize that symptoms usually begin within weeks of the traumatic event, but they can also
take years to emerge. Servicemembers may experience symptoms lasting a
few weeks, or their illness may be chronic.
Effective treatments for post-traumatic stress disorder are available.
Medication and psychotherapy are usually prescribed to treat the symptoms
and are very effective. Improving therapies are helping most people with
PTSD lead fulfilling lives.
The Department of Veterans Affairs provides free counseling sessions, as well
as inpatient and outpatient care, to servicemembers with PTSD. For more
information, visit http://www.ncptsd.va.gov. The VA website is a great
resource to help you better understand PTSD, find a health care provider and
learn more about the benefits available to your family.

Medical review boards
If your servicemember has a medical condition, including mental health
conditions, which makes him unable to perform his required duties, he may
be separated from the military for medical reasons. However, before he is
separated from service his Medical Treatment Facility (MTF) must refer him
for review by the Medical Evaluation Board (MEB). The MEB is comprised
of high-ranking military physicians. The MEB examines medical records and
determines whether or not the medical condition will render your servicemember unable to perform his military duties. The MEB also refers the case
to a Physical Evaluation Board (PEB) for a determination of fitness-for-duty.
The review boards can recommend:
 Return to duty
• With no assignment limitations
• With assignment limitations
• With medically required re-training
 Placement on military disability or retirement
 Separation from active duty
 Medical retirement
The recommendations of the MEB and PEB are then reviewed by a central
medical board. If you and your servicemember feel the recommendations are
inappropriate, your servicemember can appeal at a formal hearing and may
have legal counsel assist them in their appeal.

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For legal assistance regarding an appeal, contact your legal assistance office.

Medical retirement
Permanent disability retirement occurs if your servicemember is deemed
medically unfit to perform his job. If the disability is determined stable, permanent, and rated at a minimum of 30 percent, your servicemember is eligible for permanent disability retirement benefits.
If your servicemember is declared unfit to perform the required duties of his
job due to a medical condition, the Physical Evaluation Board (PEB) assigns
a disability rating in accordance with the VA’s schedule for rating disabilities.
Although the Department of Defense and the Department of Veterans Affairs
both use the VA’s schedule for rating disabilities, all of the general policy provisions do not apply to the military.
The military rates only medical conditions determined to be physically unfitting and compensate for the loss of a military career. The military’s rating is
permanent upon separation from service. Benefits are calculated based on
years of service and basic pay.
The VA ratings, on the other hand, may fluctuate over time, depending on
the level of disability. The VA may rate any disability which occurred or was
aggravated by service and compensate your servicemember for loss of potential civilian earnings. The VA compensation is a flat amount based upon the
percentage rating assigned.
Your servicemember may qualify for temporary disability retirement benefits
if his condition is considered not stable for rating purposes. In other words,
the extent of disability may change over the next five years. In this case, your
servicemember may be separated from service and receive temporary disability retirement benefits. Your veteran must undergo periodic medical reexaminations at least every 18 months and receive PEB reevaluations.
Servicemembers on permanent or temporary disability retirement receive
the higher of the following two retirement pay computations:
disability rating × retired pay base
or
2.5 × years of service × retired pay base
Temporary disability retirement benefits shall not be less than 50 percent of
your servicemember’s retired pay base.

Chapter 15: Dealing with the Disability or Death of a Family Member

Veterans Administration benefits
If disabled while on active duty, your servicemember may be entitled to VA
disability compensation if he is at least 10 percent disabled as a result of his
military service. The VA also provides vocational rehabilitation to recipients
of VA disability compensation to assist eligible veterans in obtaining lasting,
suitable employment.
If your servicemember is permanently and totally disabled, or age 65 or
older, and your family income is very limited, you may also qualify for a VA
disability pension.
For a great reference on all issues related to veteran’s benefits, check out
Veteran’s Benefits For Dummies. Also, visit the VA Web site at http://www.
vba.va.gov/bln/21/index.htm.

Other disability resources
In addition to the resources listed earlier in this section, if you want to increase
your understanding and awareness of living with disability, the adjustments to
expect, and the support services available, check out the following resources:
 General
• http://militaryonesource.com: Military OneSource offers a
variety of resources to assist with disabilities.
• http://www.milspouse.org/Job/Jobs/disab: MilSpouse.org
• http://www.disabilityinfo.gov/digov-public/public/
DisplayPage.do?parentFolderId=53: Disability Info.gov provides quick and easy access to comprehensive information about
disability programs, services, laws and benefits.
• http://www.copingwithdisability.com/: This is a website
about coping with all different kinds of disabilities and health issues.
 Teaching children about disabilities
• http://www.parenthood.com/article-topics/articletopics.php?Article_ID=9931: Everyday Etiquette: Dealing
with Disabilities by Diane Gottsman
 PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder)
• http://www.ncptsd.va.gov/ncmain/ncdocs/fact_shts/
fs_coping.html: Coping with PTSD and Recommended Lifestyle
Changes for PTSD Patients by Joe Ruzek, Ph.D.

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• http://ptsd.about.com/od/selfhelp/PostTraumatic_
Stress_Disorder_SelfHelp.htm: Coping skills, relaxation
exercises, and other strategies for managing anxiety and stress
associated with PTSD.
 Military disability compensation and medical separation
• http://www.defenselink.mil/prhome/docs/rand_
disability_sum_1005.pdf: An Analysis of Military Disability
Compensation
• http://usmilitary.about.com/od/theorderlyroom/a/
medseparation.htm: Medical Separation and Retirement
• http://www.military.com/benefits/military-pay/vadisability-compensation: Veteran Disability Compensation —
Military Benefits — Military.com
• http://www.gao.gov/new.items/d064.pdf: Report
to Congressional Committees — United States Government
Accountability Office — Disability Benefits
• http://moaaonline.org/moaa_email_center/noticedescription.tcl?newsletter_id=16426287: MOAA helped
the Senate Veterans Affairs Committee sort out multiple proposals
to revise disability and medical programs for the wounded and
their families.
• An Analysis of Military Disability Compensation, by Richard J.
Buddin (RAND Corporation, 2005)

Surviving the Death of a Servicemember
The longer your spouse stays in the military, the higher the chance of knowing someone who is killed in the line of duty or someone who dies of natural
causes while still on active duty. Not only might your friends need support,
but you and your family may also end up on the receiving end of condolences
as well. Regardless, death of a family member can be a confusing and difficult
time for anyone and everyone. So in these sections, we do what we can to
guide you through the tide of challenges you may face after the death of your
servicemember.

Giving and receiving friendly support
You or someone you know may end up dealing with the loss of a servicemember,
but you may find it hard to know how to help or how to let yourself be helped
through such a difficult time. The following sections give you some ideas on
what to say or do whether you’re on the receiving or giving end of support.

Chapter 15: Dealing with the Disability or Death of a Family Member
Helping your friends cope
You’re probably going to be in the position to support a close friend or fellow
spouse from the unit and having a general idea of what to say or do will help.
First of all, understand that it’s going to be a very confusing time for your
friend. There are going to be lots of people pushing her to make decisions
during a very traumatic time in her life. Try to do the following helpful things
instead of adding to her grief and confusion:
 Offer to help with the kids.
 Deliver meals so that she doesn’t have to cook. Maybe start your meals
later into the process when everyone else is starting to taper off and get
on with their own lives.
 Be there to help with whatever she needs. Whether it’s rides to and
from the airports for visiting family or just sitting quietly together so she
doesn’t have to be alone.

Letting your friends help you
If you’re the one going through the loss, understand that though it may be
annoying and somewhat distressing to have people around, they mean well
and are just trying to help. During traumatic times, people tend to rally. Let
them. Lean on them when you need to. This is a terrible time in your life, and
there will be people around who can take bits and pieces of the responsibilities you need to take care so you have less on your plate and can concentrate
on what really matters — taking care of yourself and the kids.
You may want to consider designating someone to be your spokesperson so
that you don’t have to deal with more people than is absolutely necessary.
Have someone pick up a disposable cell phone for you and one for your kids.
People are going to be jamming your phones with caring calls and the last
thing you need to worry about is missing important calls and not being able to
reach your children. Be judicious about who you give this phone number to.
The point is to keep it private so that you can stay in contact with your immediate family and those people who are helping with your affairs.

Working with the Casualty
Assistance Officer
Within 24 hours of a servicemember’s death, the service branch will assign
someone to notify and help the family. The Army refers to these people
as casualty assistance officers; the Air Force refers to them as a Casualty
Assistance Representatives; the Navy, Marines, and Coast Guard, refer to
them as Casualty Assistance Calls Officers. Regardless of what you call them,

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they are responsible for notifying the next of kin. Following notification, they
will also stay with the family and help them through the process of filing for
claims. They will also assist the family in beginning the process for funeral or
memorial services. It is the responsibility of the casualty assistance officer
to mitigate the delay in settling claims and paying survivor benefits. You are
free to tell the Casualty Assistance Officer that their services are no longer
needed whenever you feel that you no longer want or need their help.
Recently, there have been cases of fake Casualty Assistance Officers (some in
uniform) propagating scams against military spouses while their servicemembers are deployed. This has to be the most despicable form of identity theft
out there. If there is any doubt in your mind about the person standing in front
of you, don’t share any information until you contact your family readiness
officer or other official personnel to verify someone’s identity.

Filing for benefits
Your Casualty Assistance Officer will assist you in filing for benefits, but it
doesn’t hurt to know what you should be doing. The following are just general guidelines of items that need to be taken care of and should not be considered a comprehensive list:
 Obtain multiple (about two dozen) copies of the death certificate that
you will need to submit with the applications for benefits that you will
be filling out.
 If your servicemember spouse was killed while still on active duty, file
for the Death Gratuity Payment (DD397).
 If your servicemember spouse died on active duty, you’re also covered
under the Survivor Benefits Plan (SBP).
 Contact the Social Security office to find out what benefits you might be
eligible for. For more information, consult www.ssa.gov.
 Chances are good that you are also covered under the Serviceman’s
Group Life Insurance (SGLI) unless your spouse declined coverage.
You’ll need to file Form SGLV 8283.
 You may also qualify for Dependence and Indemnity Compensation
(DIC) from the Department of Veterans Affairs. Call the nearest
Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) center by calling 800-827-1000.
 Contact your other insurance companies.
 Change the information on all shared property (cars, house, stocks, and
other mutually owned items).
 Meet with the executor of your estate. You may or may not need to
meet with a lawyer depending on the complexity of your estate and the
number of people involved.

Chapter 15: Dealing with the Disability or Death of a Family Member
As good as your Casualty Assistance Officer may be, filing for and
understanding all the benefits available to you is not for the faint of heart.
Understanding this, the service relief societies entered into a partnership
with the Armed Forces Services Corporation to provide assistance to
surviving spouses of servicemembers killed on active duty. The AFSC
Lifetime Membership for surviving spouses and children of servicemembers
killed on active duty is sponsored by the Army Emergency Relief (AER), Navy
Marine Corps Relief Society (NMCRS), Coast Guard Mutual Aid (CGMA), and
the Air Force Aid Society(AFAS). Under this program, AFSC staff utilizes a
sophisticated software program to project a survivor’s benefits throughout
her lifetime. This knowledge and assistance will help the survivor craft a
good, solid financial plan. The AFSC benefits are meant to augment the work
of the Casualty Assistance Officer and not to replace it. Those interested
in reaping the benefits of this special offer need to apply for sponsorship
through their service relief societies. Links to all of them can be found at:
http://www.afsc-usa.com/societies.html.

Understanding your military benefits
Remember that as a survivor, you are still eligible for many of your military
benefits. As long as you have not remarried, you continue to be eligible for
commissary and exchange benefits. You are able to stay on base in temporary lodging based on the discretion of the installation commander. If you
live on the military installation, you’ll have a limited period of time (generally up to 180 days) before you have to vacate your base housing. Surviving
spouses are also entitled to a no-cost final move for up to one year after the
death of the servicemember occurred.
Your medical benefits will continue after the death of your spouse, however,
at different rates:
 For the first three years following your spouse’s death, you are considered a transitional survivor and are eligible for the same benefits as a
family member of an active-duty person.
Children are considered transitional survivors and will remain eligible
for medical benefits equal to a family member of an active duty service
member until they turn 21. If they are full-time students at an accredited
institution, they have until age 23.
 After the first three years, at three years and one day, you are considered a survivor. At this point, you remain eligible for medical benefits,
yet you pay the same costs and are eligible for the same level of benefits
as those of a family member of a retired servicemember. For more information on your medical benefits, consult: www.tricare.mil.

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Here are some things worth noting about benefits for survivors:
 Space-A travel is one of the benefits that you lose as a military survivor.
 When it comes time to search for scholarships and grants for college,
the children of servicemembers who are killed on active duty are often
eligible for many programs that are earmarked specifically for them.
 Your spouse’s death changes your status so you will have to apply for a
new military ID card for yourself and your kids.

Moving on
Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross wrote a book on the different stages of grief called,
“On Death and Dying.” According to the Kübler-Ross model, the five different
stages are: denial, anger, guilt, depression/sadness, and acceptance. There’s
no rhyme or reason as to how long each stage will last or which stage you’ll
go through when. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Give yourself the
latitude to do it your way, and make sure you get the help you need to make
it through.
When you start to come out of the fog, you might notice that other people
may have moved on. While they want to include you in the activities you
may have done before you lost your servicemember spouse, things will
have changed for you, and you may not have as much in common as you did
before. It may be time to expand your circle and make new friends. In dealing with death and grief, it may be helpful for you to go out and find people
who have gone through the same things you have. They will have more in
common with you and understand where you’re coming from without you
having to fill in any of the back story.

Support groups
Since 1994, the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) has provided survivors with assistance in rebuilding their lives through comprehensive support systems and resources. They run a Good Grief Camp for Young
Survivors that allows children who have lost a parent in the line of duty to
connect with other children who are going through the same experience.
While the children are going through the camp, the surviving spouses have
the opportunity to meet their peers and take advantage of a day of workshops geared toward their issues of grief, surviving, and coping skills. To
learn more about TAPS, go to www.taps.org.

Chapter 15: Dealing with the Disability or Death of a Family Member
In addition to TAPS, there are other organizations that provide camps to grieving children. One of these groups, Comfort Zone Camps provides bereavement
camps for military children. More information about their organization can be
found at: www.comfortzonecamp.org.
Sometimes, survivors just want to get away from the grieving for a time and
just hang out with other kids or adults just like them and engage in some
escapism. One of the newer organizations out there to support military families is called the Snowball Express. Serving children who have lost a parent
on active duty, they bring these children and accompanying parent or guardian out to Orange County, California, for a weekend of fun. Again, it is great
for the kids to be around other children who are going through the same
experiences that they are. To learn more about Snowball Express, go to:
www.snowballexpress.org.
These organizations are just a sampling of resources out there to support
surviving spouses and family members. As discussed previously, America
Supports You is a great clearinghouse of other organizations that exist to
provide support to servicemembers and their families. More about America
Supports You in Chapter 14.

Planning ahead
We all harp on the need of planning ahead and yet none of us are very good
about heeding our own advice. When we’re talking about worst-case scenarios, and look back in hindsight, it’s inevitable: We will wish that we had taken
advantage of more pre-planning. Don’t let this be you. Don’t fall prey to poor
planning. Go ahead and have the difficult discussions ahead of time so that if
the unimaginable happens, you already have some plans laid out.
The transient quality of the military lifestyle guarantees that a lot of things
that most people take for granted are going to cause you some confusion
when you have to think about them. This doesn’t negate the importance of
addressing them:
 Where do you consider home? You’re entitled to a final move on the
military, but have you ever considered where home is for you?
 Make sure you know where to find the information for all your bank
accounts, investments, and insurance policies.
 Make sure you understand what your assets are.

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 Some preparation documents require that you each put down on paper
how you would like to be buried and where. They also require you to
write down how you would like your possessions disposed of. The more
hard core will also have you write your own obituary to give everyone a
starting point. You probably don’t have to do this level of planning, but
it doesn’t hurt to talk about it.
 Understand all of your benefits that you will be eligible for so that you
don’t have to rely so heavily on the kindness of others.
 Consider what your financial needs will be for different times in your
family’s life so that you can make sure they’re funded correctly.
 Ensure that your important documents are up to date and that each of
you knows where they are located.
It’s important to plan ahead and keep your information up to date. Regardless
of whether or not you have children, everyone should have a will and it
should be updated every time you have a significant life event. Don’t be that
ill-prepared person. If the unimaginable happens, you’ll feel better knowing
that some things have already been taken care of.

Part IV:

Mastering
Deployments

I

In this part . . .

f deployments could come with a how-to guide, this
would be it. In this part you’ll learn everything, from
what you need to prepare for a deployment to tips on how
to utilize special financial deployment programs available
to you. You’ll also learn how to stay connected and anticipate the pitfalls by understanding the cycles of deployment.

Chapter 16

Prepping for Deployments
In This Chapter

 Wrapping your mind around the deployment

 Making it work

 Looking for professional help

D

eployments are inevitable in the military. The more you learn about
what to expect, and the more you prepare in advance, the easier military
life will be for you and your family. We’re not saying that it will be easy! Being
separated from your partner definitely makes life more challenging. But, this is
his job. Your job is to hold down the homefront, and it’s a big and sometimes
overwhelming responsibility. In this chapter we help you prepare as best you
can for the inevitable deployment.

Separating the Truths from the Myths
People tend to have preconceived notions or beliefs when facing the reality
of deployments, but we give you the truth:
Myth: Deployments are governed by the life-is-fair principle.
Truth: Nothing could be further than the truth. There is no grand plan at
play. It’s the needs of the service first and foremost, and it doesn’t really
matter what your personal situation is. Depending on their specialty code
or unit, your spouse could feasibly be sent more often than others.
Myth: If there are seven cycles of deployment, you’ll have time to go
through all seven before you start all over again.
Truth: Unfortunately, with today’s operations tempo, the cycles of deployment are starting to overlap. Before a family has had an opportunity to get
reacquainted, it’s time for the servicemember to leave again. And if the
deployments weren’t bad enough, you still need to make allowances for regular TDYs and training requirements. It is all too normal these days for military families to be living simultaneously in different cycles of deployment.

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Myth: They won’t send my husband because I’m eight months pregnant.
Truth: This is almost too easy. I know you’ve seen the pictures of gangplanks and airplane hangars full of mothers with infant children born
while their dads were deployed. Unfortunately, pregnancy and other
family planning issues don’t generally play into deployment decisions.
Myth: It gets easier every time.
Truth: It doesn’t ever get easier. You’ll still lament every missed milestone and worry as much with the last deployment as you do with the
first one. The difference is that you’ll become a pro and the planning will
get easier.
Myth: It doesn’t matter what happens, there will always be someone
there to take care of me.
Truth: In a worst case scenario, there will likely be someone there to help
you through your ordeal. However, how well you survive depends on how
well you plan. If you don’t put certain things into place before the servicemember deploys, even the most well intentioned folks can’t help you.
In addition to the myths, try to remember a couple of things when it comes to
deployments:
 Sometimes, people do so much for us and do such a great job of taking
care of us that we begin to take it for granted. It’s easy to begin feeling
like such great care is something that is owed to you. This could not
be further from the truth. Please be gracious and do not adopt an
entitled stance.
 Being well prepared for a deployment will help you in the long run.
Having everything in place and knowing where everything is will give
you the peace of mind that will be so elusive to you in the other areas
of your life while your spouse is deployed.

Preparing for Deployment
Your servicemember may be deployed with little or no notice. Sometimes
you may get notified a few weeks in advance. In any case, your family will
not have much time to prepare for deployment after receiving notice. Your
servicemember’s life gets very hectic once the deployment notice is issued.
He may be too busy with his work to take care of essential family life issues
during that time. These responsibilities fall on your lap.
Deployments are inevitable, so work with your servicemember now to take
care of all essential family life matters. In the following section we highlight
the major issues you need to consider when preparing for deployment.

Chapter 16: Prepping for Deployments
The military provides pre-deployment briefings for you and your servicemember after a deployment notice has been issued but prior to deployment. These
sessions are scheduled to provide you with additional information, clarification, and the opportunity to ask questions regarding your servicemember’s
entitlements and your family’s benefits during deployment.

Powers of attorney
Possibly the most important document that you have in place prior to
deployment is a power of attorney. There are actually a couple different
kinds of power of attorney documents that you need:
 A financial power of attorney document is critical when your spouse
is on deployment. This document enables your servicemember to
appoint you to make financial decisions and manage his affairs while
he’s away. You may think that just by being married you will be able to
transact business on behalf of your spouse. This is not necessarily the
case, such as; signing a joint tax return for your spouse, managing real
estate and business interests, or any individually owned assets or debts
that your servicemember may have.
Make sure that you provide an official copy of your financial power of
attorney form to the person you have named to act on your behalf. Also,
provide a copy of your official health care power of attorney document
to your family physician and to the people named as your healthcare
agents. Keep another set of these documents in a safe place, such as
in your important documents file in a fireproof safe, or with an online
secure document storage service.
 A durable power of attorney for health care is also an important
document to get in place when preparing for deployment. This document enables you to name a person or, better yet, a couple of people, to
make healthcare decisions if you are unable to make them for yourself.
Of course, the same goes for your servicemember.
Due to the fact that military couples are often separated geographically,
it is especially important to have a durable power of attorney for healthcare, naming each other as your primary agent, but also name a successor
who can step in if healthcare decisions need to be made and your spouse
is away.
Often healthcare power of attorney documents are packaged together with
a living will. These documents are also known as called healthcare directives. A living will spells out under what circumstances, if any, you want
your life prolonged should you have no reasonable chance of recovery.
Both you and your servicemember should also have living wills drafted
by qualified legal professionals. Consult with the legal assistance office
on your installation. They can provide you with the legal documents you
both need.

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An excellent online secure document storage service is Executor’s Resource.
Online document storage services are a great option for your mobile military family. Executor’s Resource provides you the opportunity to upload all
your important documents, paperwork, and even photos, videos, and voice
messages. You can provide different levels of access to your spouse, family
members, friends, and even financial advisors, clergy, or physicians. For more
information visit http://www.executorsresource.com.

Financial planning
Financial planning is all about preparing in advance for all of life’s inevitable
events. You may be tempted to procrastinate with your financial planning
because you’re thinking that there are no impending events or issues with
which you have to deal right now. Not the case! Deployment is inevitable!
Financial planning involves thoughtful consideration of all potential inevitable
events in your financial life. For more information on doing your own financial
planning, check out the Personal Finance Workbook For Dummies (Wiley).

Getting organized
Getting your financial household organized can be one of the greatest gifts
you give yourself and your loved ones. On the day you get that deployment
notification, you can spend quality time with your spouse and family, rather
than running around taking care of last-minute financial arrangements.
To get your financial household in order and prepared for deployment, organize your financial records into one place using an organizational system,
such as a three-ring binder with divider tabs, or actual file folders in a portable file box. Include sections for:
 Contacts: Name, address, and contact information of financial, legal, and
tax advisors, and people to contact in the event of emergencies, such as,
back-up baby-sitters, child’s teacher, next-door neighbor, and so on.
 Official documents: Legal documents, birth certificates, adoption
papers, marriage certificates, divorce decrees, copies of your family
member’s individual military ID cards, Social Security cards and passports, copies of orders, tax returns, medical and dental records, net
worth statement, credit report, warranties, and so on.
 Assets: Car titles, registration forms, proof of insurance, and maintenance
records; privately-owned residence; deed, mortgage, insurance, and maintenance records; bank accounts, investment account statements,
retirement plans, and IRAs.

Chapter 16: Prepping for Deployments
 Liabilities: Credit card statements, school loans, copies of loan agreements, and most current statements for any other debts other than
home mortgage and automobile.
 Expenses: Monthly budget, annual and periodic expenses, and lists of
payees, addresses, and account numbers.
 Other: Online account login information and pass codes.

Keeping your information safe
The information contained in your financial planning binder, or file box is
extremely private and important to your family. You do not want this information to fall into the wrong hands. Keep this information locked up in a
safe place, scan it, and store it on an USB drive or consider utilizing a secure
online document storage service.
Being the Chief Financial Officer of your military family can be a daunting
job. You’ll often need to pay bills, make inquiries, check your account balances, and so on, while your spouse is on TDY. Your family also moves frequently. This makes online investment account access, online banking, and
online document storage the most convenient way to manage your personal
finances, and provide access to your spouse should they want or need to do
something in this area.
Having everything online requires you to maintain a list of all of the Web
sites, login information, and passwords because every site has slightly different rules about how many letters, numbers, and symbols can or must be
used in login names and passwords. Plus, it is safer to use different passwords on different sites. Be very careful not to write this information down
because it can be lost or stolen. A great option is to utilize a software tool
such as RoboForm to store this information.
RoboForm is an inexpensive software program that enables you to save
all of the information on Web sites you visit frequently; including the URL
addresses, login information, and your passwords, all in one place — either
your hard drive or a UBS jump drive. You might consider using both for convenience and as a backup. To access your RoboForm data you’ll need one
super-secret password and then you can get into all of your secure accounts
online with just a click of a button. No more remembering Web addresses,
login names, and passwords. RoboForm also enables you to store all of your
personal information such as driver’s license numbers, Social Security numbers, military ID number, family information, contact information, and so
on. It’s really an incredibly convenient device. You can find out more about
RoboForm at their Web site at http://www.RoboForm.com.

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Budgets
You might think of this as a money diet, but I encourage you to think of a
budget as a disciplined approach to help your family reach your financial
objectives in life. You only have a certain amount of money coming in each
and every month, and you have many required expenses, as well as some
desired expenditures that you would like to cover out of this cash flow.
Budgeting enables you to get the life out of your money.
Focus on the amount of net income you have to work with and establish automatic withdrawals from your servicemember’s paycheck, as well as your bank
account, to cover your family’s required expenses, and the balance that lands
in your checking account after all of your required expenses are met can be
spent on those things that provide your family the most enjoyment.
It’s kind of an inverse way of budgeting. Rather than keeping track of every
cent that you are spending:
 Make a list of all of your required monthly expenses.
 List all of your periodic and annual expenses.
 Pay all of your required monthly expenses automatically.
 Set up a high-yielding money market account and direct one 12th of the
total of your annualized periodic and annual expenses in to this escrow
spending account.
 When periodic expenses arise, you simply tap in to your high-yielding
money market account to cover those expenses.
 Whatever is left over in your checking account may be spent on any discretionary items that you and your family determines most appropriate.
• Remain very conscious of the amount of money your family has
available for discretionary expenditures each month. Your net
income may vary somewhat month to month, however desired
expenditures can gyrate wildly. This is where cash flow planning
comes into play.
For example, in three months you want to take a family trip and you
anticipate spending $1,500. Allocate $500 per month into your highyielding money market account so that you have this money available in three months when you need it for your trip. Otherwise, you
may be tempted to charge the expense on a credit card.
• Avoid charging things on your credit card that you cannot pay off
the following month out of your discretionary cash flow. Credit
cards should be used exclusively for convenience and in the rare
occasion that you have a true financial emergency. Sorry, the
annual sale at Macy’s does not constitute a financial emergency!

Chapter 16: Prepping for Deployments
Emergency fund
What constitutes an emergency? Well, life happens and sometimes it takes
money you hadn’t planned on spending to deal with it! You might have a
fender-bender, your brother-in-law needs a helping hand, or your son has the
opportunity of attending a special, yet expensive, summer camp program.
Having money readily available that you can get your hands on in the event
of such an emergency, or opportunity, is the purpose of an emergency reserve
fund. The amount of money you should have on hand varies on your family’s
circumstances. If you are currently living comfortably on your servicemember’s net paycheck, you may be fine with a minimal amount of cash reserves.
$2,000 to $5,000 in your savings or money market accounts may be sufficient.
On the other hand, if you currently have earned income that could abruptly
terminate because of deployment, or due to PCS, you should have substantially more readily available cash reserves to cover your family’s needs until
you regain employment. A minimum of three to six months worth of required
living expenses should be maintained in a high yielding money market
account.
A great resource for high-yielding money market accounts and savings
accounts in your area is BankRate.com (http://www.Bankrate.com).
One of the most consistently competitive high-yielding accounts is offered by
ING Direct (http://www.INGdirect.com). They offer extremely competitive interest rates, no minimum to open an account, and online money transfer to and from your checking account, free of charge.

Taking Advantage of Special
Deployment Benefits
It is imperative that you recognize and take advantage of the many special
benefits provided to your family due to your spouse’s deployment. These
benefits help to simplify your personal financial management, provide for taxfree income on combat pay, and insure that your servicemember will be able
to return to their civilian employment if they are activated Guard or Reserve.

Getting direct deposit
If you aren’t currently signed up for direct deposit of your servicemember’s
paycheck, upon deployment direct deposit becomes mandatory. Contact
your bank and ask it for the specific instructions needed for direct deposit of
employer paychecks. That information will be needed by the accounting office.

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If you have questions contact the Defense Finance and Accounting Service
(DFAS) at 800-390-2348 or visit them online at www.dod.mil/dfas.

Saving in the best plan available
Servicemembers deployed in combat zones and certain contingency operations may take advantage of the DoD’s Savings Deposit Program (SDP). While
deployed in these areas, your spouse can contribute all or part of their net
pay into a DoD savings account earning 10 percent (taxable) interest. That’s
an extraordinary rate of return and it’s safe and accessible when you need
to tap these funds for your family’s financial goals. There is no reason not
to participate in the SDP. Your spouse can contribute as little as $5 per pay
period. And you’ve got extra pay coming in due to the preferential tax treatment of combat pay, and your servicemember is likely also receiving additional pay, so this may be the best time ever to sock some money away. It’s
easy, safe and you’ll get an outstanding interest rate.
Getting started in the SDP is easy. Visit your local finance office and ask to
deposit money into the fund. Information can be accessed online at www.
defenselink.mil.
Note: the DoD limits the amount members can contribute to $10,000 per
deployment. Also, the account will stop earning interest 90 days after a
member returns from a combat zone and funds should be withdrawn at that
time and reinvested to compliment your family’s financial plans.

Receiving tax-free combat
pay and benefits
Your loved one receives extra compensation for combat, and this extra compensation is both state and federal income tax free. This additional pay could
be about $300 to $500 per month tax free. Their basic and any special pays
are also tax free during the time they are deployed in combat.
If at any time during the month your servicemember is deployed in a combat
zone, the income for that entire month is excluded from taxable income.
Plus, if your servicemember is deployed for more than 30 days, you may also
be entitled to the Family Separation Allowance of $250 per month. (Refer to
Chapter 5, Hazardous Duty Pay section, for details on the amount and types
of compensation paid due to combat.)

Chapter 16: Prepping for Deployments

Ensuring reemployment: USERRA
One of the major provisions of the Uniformed Services Employment and
Reemployment Rights Act, also known as USERRA, is a law that requires
employers to reemploy Guard and Reserve members when they return
from deployment, under most cases. Not only is the employer required to
reemploy the servicemember returning to the civilian work force, but they
must also reemploy your servicemember in a position comparable to the one
they had prior to going on active duty.
For additional information refer to Chapter 7.

Understanding the Emotional
Cycles of Deployment
The cycles of deployment used to consist of three different stages: predeployment, deployment, and post-deployment. However, more recently, the
deployment cycles have been divided into seven stages:
 Anticipation of Departure
 Detachment and Withdrawal
 Emotional Disorganization
 Recovery and Stabilization
 Anticipation of Return
 Return Adjustment and Renegotiation
 Reintegration and Stabilization
With just a few clicks, you can download the entire fact sheet. Go to http://
deploymenthealthlibrary.fhp.osd.mil, and click on “View Product
List.” Use the on-screen scroll bar to scroll down to and click on “Coping
with the Deployment of a Spouse or Partner,” then “Emotions,” and then
“Emotional Cycles of Deployment.”
In the following sections, we take you through these cycles in layman’s terms.

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Preparing for them to go
The first cycle: Anticipation of Departure deals with getting ready for service
members to leave. You have a huge checklist of things you should do in
preparation for a deployment, and this is the time in the cycle when you’re
rushing around trying to get everything taken care of.
This period is loaded with opportunities to make each other mad. As if there
weren’t enough things on the checklist to do, you’ll each find other things
that have to be done before he leaves. All of a sudden, you’ll remember that
both cars need tune-ups, the gutters need to be cleaned, and, of course, in
the midst of it all, the hard drive on your computer has just crashed. And
since he’s going to miss the holidays, the garage needs to be cleaned out
so that you can pull the Christmas stuff out of the attic so that it’ll be more
accessible to you when you need it. This will remind you that you really want
him to be involved with buying some of the Christmas and birthday gifts for
the kids so you’ll spend precious time sprinting through the mall trying to
check things off your list.
Now, here’s the interesting thing about this cycle: On one hand, you have a
lot of obligations, things you need to get done before he leaves. On the other
hand, when faced with the reality that your best friend and partner will be
leaving for many months to a year, you’re trying to cram memory-making
opportunities into each and every minute of the day. So, how do you reconcile the two? How do you work down the ridiculously long “honey do” list full
of things you’re both trying to accomplish before the deployment and balance it with the desire to spend as much quality time together as possible?
You don’t. If it seems as if these two conflicting goals set you up on a path to
ultimate failure, then you get the gold star for being insightful because they
absolutely do.
Every time you sit down to a “romantic” meal, you will be preoccupied by
thoughts that you have a lot to do and no time to waste. Or worse, you’ll realize that this is the only time you guys have had all to yourselves without any
kids in tow and will seize the opportunity to talk about worst case scenarios
and what ifs. Over salads and shrimp cocktails, you’ll find yourself talking
about where your spouse would like to be buried in case the unspeakable
happens, what he would like you to do with the children, where you would
move, and so many other less-than-pleasant topics. Is there a way to solve
this? Probably not. And maybe solving it isn’t necessary because these are
important conversations to have and when you’re dealing with a time crunch,
there’s not necessarily going to be a convenient time to have the discussions.
Rather than feeling badly that you’re “squandering” the time you have left
together, accept that this difficult period is an inevitability and just enjoy the
time you have before the deployment without loading it down with expectations of what an “ideal” pre-deployment period should look like.

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Creating walls before they leave
The second cycle of deployment is Detachment and Withdrawal, which also
deals with preparing for your servicemember to leave. This is the time when
the servicemember begins to withdraw and focus on the mission at hand
while the spouse starts to create a wall to protect herself from the hurt of the
servicemember’s impending departure. You start to compartmentalize your
emotions and begin to pull away from each other, thinking that that will help
make the departure easier to take. Very strange rationalization, and yet, we
all find ourselves going there.
The servicemember starts to transition from spending time with the family in
the pre-deployment stage to looking forward to the mission and the deployment ahead. Your nerves are somewhat raw and sensitive at this point, so
you mistake this for him being excited to leave, but this is not the case. He is a
trained professional about to go out in the field to do what he spent the rest
of the year training for. Of course this is going to bring out some excitement.
Don’t confuse this with thinking that he’s excited to be leaving you behind.
This is not the case. He is just compartmentalizing and focusing on the mission ahead.
If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll look inside and realize that you’re guilty
of the same thing. Faced with the imminent departure of your best friend and
helpmate, you have probably started withdrawing to try to steel yourself
against the pain of him leaving. You’re probably both withdrawing and pulling away from one another, trying to protect yourselves from the pain and
hurt you’ll feel when he leaves. You’ll find yourself picking fights about the
silliest things. It’s almost as if you think it’ll be easier on you if you’re mad
at one another when he leaves so that you don’t care as much when they’re
gone. Perhaps you think it will almost be a relief when he’s gone because he
was behaving so poorly. Who knows what the rationale is. Just know that this
is a difficult period for the marriage as you’re both emotionally withdrawing
from one another when intuitively, it seems like you should be clinging onto
one another for dear life.
Don’t be too tough on yourselves. Find comfort in the knowledge that you’re
traveling down the same path as multitudes of others who have also gone
through the same stages of detachment with many of the same outcomes.
There aren’t any guidelines pointing to what emotions are and aren’t acceptable to feel during the pre-deployment period. It’s enough to understand that
these types of reactions are normal, and if your spouse leaves in the midst of
arguments and hurt feelings, it’s not out of the ordinary.

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Establishing your new normal
As soon as your spouse leaves you begin going through the Emotional
Disorganization cycle. First, you’ll stumble a bit as you struggle to figure out
how you will balance everything. You’ll begin to figure out what responsibilities you need to redistribute as you try to fill the void that your spouse left
behind. Particularly if you’re a parent, you’ll figure out how to live up to all
the expectations so that everything will continue much as it did before one
parent left the picture. It can be overwhelming to try to figure out how to
keep things as normal as possible for your kids.
This is the same stage when you’ll start to come to grips with the loneliness.
You’re responsible for everyone’s calendars and obligations in addition to
taking on all the household duties. If anything breaks down or stops working
altogether, you have to deal with it. Even on a regular day, life as a “single”
parent can be exhausting. By the time night rolls around, you realize it’s been
a few days since you last engaged in any adult conversation. It can become
somewhat overwhelming dealing with everything yourself without the benefit
of a sounding board. You begin to feel like you’re missing out on one of the
greatest benefits of being married — having that safe port in the storm, your
other half who listens to you without judgment.

Getting settled
Fortunately, the Emotional Disorganization cycle is followed by Recovery
and Stabilization. During this cycle, you start to find your center of gravity
again. You’ve had some time dealing with things on your own and while you
don’t prefer that your spouse is gone, you’ve begun to feel like perhaps you
can handle this. You’re on your way to discovering your new normal. You
develop new routines and being alone gets a little easier.
You’re feeling your way around the new responsibilities and have found ways
to manage your new duties and take care of everyone.

Anticipating their return
While in the Anticipation of Their Return cycle, you get ready for the servicemember to come home, which is generally a happy time. You start making
plans for the homecoming and imagining the family back together again. You
can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it’s fun imagining the
moment when you see him again and what it’ll feel like. You dust off the cookbooks and start planning those Sunday family dinners again anticipating the
day when things get back to normal and you’re back on your regular schedule.

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Don’t get too caught up in the fairy tale of what a homecoming should be like.
The biggest way you can be disappointed is by building up your expectations
to the extent that no homecoming could possibly live up to the scenario you’ve
built up in your mind.
Anticipating and planning for the servicemember’s homecoming is laden with
hidden landmines, especially for kids. Prepare yourself for these potential
pitfalls:
 Delayed gratification: People get delayed all the time. Planes are late,
plans change, and before you know it, your spouse has been delayed by
a few days, weeks, or months. As adults used to dealing with life’s uncertainties, we are more likely to be resilient and flexible. Kids are a lot less
so. Don’t let them put all their eggs in one basket. Manage their expectations and help them understand that everything doesn’t always happen
on schedule. For example, creating and hanging a welcome-home banner
is a great family bonding exercise, but make sure you have an alternative
plan or an explanation when you have to take it down and re-hang it a
few days later.
Help your children with the impending homecoming by discussing it
with them. This can be done in conjunction with a family activity that
you take on to prep for the homecoming. This might be shopping for
your spouse’s favorite foods, picking up some balloons to decorate the
house, or any number of little activities your kids can come up with to
make the homecoming more special. Let the kids determine how the discussion goes. They may have some anxieties that you’ll want to address
about how mom or dad may have changed during the deployment. They
may feel guilty that they’re not more excited that mom or dad is coming
home. They may be nervous about how things will change in the home.
Regardless of what they come up with, validate their emotions and make
sure they understand that whatever they’re feeling is normal and okay.
 Overplanning: Remember that when your servicemember returns from
deployment, it’s going to take him a little while to get acclimated to
being at home again. Don’t plan too many activities or try to cram too
much into the first few days that he’s home. Give him a chance to work
himself back into the home and all of you a chance to get reacquainted.
More about staying connected in Chapter 19.
 Filtering in the family: Extended family and friends are also going to
want to play a part in the homecoming. Discuss this with your spouse
who is deployed and see how he would like to handle the situation. Who
does he want involved in the first few days of the homecoming? When
does he want to see his other family and friends? By understanding what
everyone’s expectations are, you can all get on the same page and try to
put a plan in place that takes into consideration the wants of the servicemember. Don’t be surprised in the last few days leading up to a homecoming if you’re surprised by an influx of family who want to join you at
the terminal to welcome home your spouse. Have that discussion earlier

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on. If you know what to expect, you can at least plan for it. Much as you
would like to count on a private homecoming with just your immediate
family, that doesn’t just happen automatically. Other members of the
family are going to be clamoring for the servicemember’s time and may
have their own ideas of what should happen. Manage the expectations
on all sides to help ease the transition back for the servicemember.

Coming back together as a family
During the Return Adjustment and Renegotiation cycle, families are feeling their
way around, redistributing the responsibilities, and negotiating roles and duties
within the household post-deployment. Under the best of circumstances, tempers will be short and everyone will get on each other’s nerves. Unfortunately,
during this period, you’ll find yourself engaging in some emotional tug-of-wars as
you reassess everyone’s role in the home. This is tough and not made any easier
by today’s ops tempo because in the back of your mind, there’s always the nagging thought that why bother getting it right when they’re just going to leave
again?
As you figure out what your roles should be at this point, you’ll feel yourself
bouncing around as you experience the following (they don’t call it “adjustment”
during this cycle for nothing!):
 Guilt: You’re going to feel some guilt over the fact that you’ve embraced
being in charge since your spouse was gone, not having to ask anyone’s
permission or facing anyone second-guessing you on every little detail.
While your spouse was gone, you probably lived up to the challenge and
developed a certain level of independence. Admit it, you enjoyed being
the authority figure and not having to consult your spouse on every little
decision you wanted to make. It was probably nice knowing that when
you made a decision, you were the final word. Despite what they say
about marriage being a cooperative sport, sometimes doing everything
your way can be refreshing. However, what works when one spouse is
deployed is not necessarily going to work well when you’re both under
one roof. Come to grips with the fact that you’re going to have to share
the authority again and the transition time will be much smoother.
 Trouble giving up the reins: You’ve taken on more of the chores while
your spouse was gone, so you’ve probably also developed some routines and protocols for the way you like things done. When your spouse
returns, understand that he’s going to do things differently, and if you
want him to continue taking on those responsibilities, you’re going to
have to let him do things his way. You’re going to be loathe to give up
your authority and possibly try to continue to do things your way. Of
course it’s a good thing to develop some more independence while your

Chapter 16: Prepping for Deployments
spouse is deployed, but when they get back, letting them back into the
decision making process doesn’t necessarily make you dependent. In a
healthy marriage, you’re interdependent on each other, and it should
be a give and take with room for both spouses to share in the decision
making process.
 Sending the wrong signal, unintentionally: In anticipating the next
deployment coming up soon, some spouses choose to keep the responsibilities instead of going through the drill of reintegrating the other person
into the household fully and then having to go through the other cycles
of redistributing the chores and responsibilities again when they leave.
While this may be more efficient in the long run, it could also have the
unintended outcome of making your spouse believe that things run so
smoothly when he’s gone that you just don’t need him anymore. Illogical, I
know, but the ego is a fragile thing. Everyone likes to think they’re needed.

Finding your family groove again
The Reintegration and Stabilization cycle is probably the trickiest of all because
there’s the temptation to rush things along and not wait for things to play
out on their own. Regardless of how long you’ve been married, the time after
a deployment is always awkward. Everyone’s feeling their way around one
another. When the servicemember deployed, the family dynamic shifted
around to redistribute the responsibilities. The children are used to going
to you for everything. This can make the spouse who was deployed feel as if
there’s no longer a place or a role for him in the home. Getting back into the
family fold takes time and the servicemember is bound to feel some frustration
because as far as he’s concerned, when he left home, everything was a certain
way, and he’s returning thinking that everything will still be as he left it.
To help everyone fall back into place as comfortably as possible, remember that
 Everyone changes. After being gone for months (up to 15 months), the
deployed servicemember has missed some milestones, kids have grown,
and you’ve all grown in different ways. No one exists in a bubble and it’s
inevitable that you have all changed in some manner. It would be hard
to take on all the new responsibilities without developing more independence. You’re going to become more confident in your abilities to take
care of things in your spouse’s absence. You may have even developed
a different network of friends and acquaintances while your spouse was
gone. It’ll be difficult for your spouse to imagine that life has moved
on without him and to figure out a way to ease himself back into life at
home. Trust that it will be just as strange for all of you to try to figure
out the new family dynamic.

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 Don’t force things. Take some time to get the lay of the land and figure
out what everyone’s roles are. It’s especially important to allow the
children to accept the deployed parent back into the family fold on their
own terms. They may have gotten used to going to mom for everything
and it’ll take them some time to get used to having two parents sharing
the parental responsibilities again. Don’t make them choose between
you. Act as a parenting team and everything else will follow. The children
will feel more confident that things are getting back to normal as soon as
the parents start getting back to normal.
 Let the kids make the moves. Encourage your spouse not to force
things with the kids, let them take the lead on when and how they want
to get reacquainted. Encourage your spouse to make the effort to spend
some one on one time with each of them. Let them choose the activity
they would like to do with your spouse and encourage him and take
a backseat to their needs and timetable. Depending on how well you
stayed in touch while the servicemember spouse was deployed, the
period of time it’ll take for the family to reintegrate will vary. More about
staying in touch with kids during deployment in Chapter 18.

Prioritizing with the golf ball theory of life
I’m sure you’ve heard about the golf ball theory
of life: A professor stood before his philosophy
class with a very large and empty mayonnaise
jar in front of him. He proceeded to fill it with
golf balls and then asked the students if the
jar was full. They agreed that it was. Then the
professor poured a box of pebbles into the jar
and they rolled into the open areas between
the golf balls. He again asked the students if
the jar was full and they agreed it was. He then
picked up a box of sand and poured it into the
jar. The sand filled up the areas between the
pebbles. He then asked once more if the jar was
full and all the students responded “yes.” Then
the professor produced two cups of coffee from
under the table and poured the entire contents
into the jar, filling the empty space between the
sand. What the professor wanted his students
to recognize was that the jar represents their

life. The golf balls are the important things such
as: family, children, health, friends, and things in
life that they’re passionate about. If everything
else was lost and only the “golf balls” remained,
their life would still be full. The pebbles are the
other things that matter like: jobs, house, car,
and other material things. The sand is everything else, the small stuff.
The point: If you put the sand in first (the small
stuff), there’s less room for the pebbles and no
room for the golf balls. In life, if you worry about
the small stuff, then you’ll never have time for
the things that really matter to you. In addition,
never forget that the professor did note that the
two cups of coffee in his example had significance: Regardless of how busy or full your life
is, you always have time to take a moment and
share a cup of coffee with a friend.

Chapter 16: Prepping for Deployments

Smoothing out the rough spots
All the different cycles of deployment last for varying amounts of time, and
people will blow through some of the cycles easily while getting bogged
down by others. In fact, the last cycle of reintegration and stabilization can
take up to six months.
In a perfect world, a family would have the opportunity to go through all the
cycles before starting over again with another deployment. Unfortunately,
in today’s world of increased ops tempo, families could feasibly be going
through different cycles of deployment at the same time. Since redeployments are coming closer together, some of the cycles are starting to overlap.
In addition to this, there are the other possible stumbling blocks of ongoing
professional military education and training that requires servicemembers
to be away from home on a temporary basis. As these are considered careerbroadening opportunities, no consideration is made to the servicemember’s
deployment schedules. This significantly impacts the family in that the
servicemember is being taken away from home again before they’ve had a
chance to get re-acclimated to one another.
Another potential stumbling block is a PCS. Already an emotionally charged
time in a military family’s life, a PCS could become more stressful when done in
conjunction with a deployment. The key to success is maintaining open lines of
communication. Because there is so much that is out of the control of military
family members, it’s helpful for them to have as much information as possible to formulate better plans of action. Impress upon the servicemember the
importance of keeping you in the loop. Nothing is insurmountable if you’re
working as a team (find out more about becoming and continuing to be a
strong military couple in Chapter 13).
If you do find yourself faltering, there’s no shame in asking for help (more
about this in Chapter 17). There are also going to be times following a deployment when you’re not going to be able to manage things on your own.
If you notice that your spouse is emotionally numb or withdrawn, experiencing sleep disorders such as insomnia, or prone to excessive bursts of anger
or depression, he may be experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder
(PTSD). While it is normal for any or all of these symptoms to occur a month
to three months after a deployment, if they persist, you may want to seek
additional help.

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Managing Stress
To make it through a deployment and take care of your family, you’re going
to have to take care of yourself and keep your stress level at a minimum.
Considering that you’re already taking complete control of the family, tacking
on care for yourself and your stress level sounds like a tall order. But if you
break your life down and remember the following, you can manage like a pro:
 Recognize that you’re not going to do it all yourself. You’re no longer
going to be able to do it all. Regardless of whether or not you work outside the home, you’re still going to find that there are not enough hours
in the day.
 Don’t sweat the little things in life, especially during a deployment
when you’re trying to be everything to everyone. Learn to differentiate
between what you have to do and what you’d like to do. You may want
to volunteer to serve on your child’s PTA board because you’d like to
be involved, but you can’t make it to the meetings because you have to
be available to squire the kids around to their activities. It may seem
callous, but you are going to have to draw a line in the sand and decide
what you will and won’t do while your spouse is deployed.
 Obligate yourself to the bare minimum, knowing that other things
will come up that need your time and attention. Emotionally speaking,
you’ll be more drained than you would under normal circumstances and
perhaps you won’t be able to take on as much as you normally could.
Remember that it’s easy to get overwhelmed when your plate gets too
full. When you find that you’ve signed on for too much, there’s not that
other person to come to your rescue by picking up some of the duties.
 Find more hours in the day by figuring out what you can afford to pay
other people to do. If you work full time or have other obligations that
take you away from home for extended periods of time see what tasks
you can afford to have others do for you. The two most commonly outsourced jobs are housekeeping and the lawn care, both of which suck
hours out of your day.
 Take shortcuts to gain more hours. We give you a few ideas in the
following list:
• “Something” doesn’t always mean homemade. If you’re used to
sending homemade baked goods for your children’s various bake
sales, class parties, and PTA events, you don’t have the time or
energy to put into it, but you’d still like to participate, find another
way. Bake from a mix and ask your children to decorate the baked
goods to give them the personal touch. Or, buy the baked goods
and send them in. The people in charge of the event will just appreciate that you made the effort to send something in.

Chapter 16: Prepping for Deployments
• Start combining your outings. If you’re going out to the installation
to take your kids to the MTF for their sports physical, use the time
to get their prescriptions filled and combine the visit with a commissary run, or a visit to the exchange and gas station. Less time spent
in transit is more time spent with the family.
• Plan and get your kids involved in the planning. Schedule those
weekly calendar meetings to figure out what needs to be done that
week. Understanding where everyone needs to be and when will
help you lay out your obligations and then fit in the fun stuff.
• Get help with meals. It’s not fun cooking for a small number of
people and if you take the time to cook a nice meal, you don’t want
to eat it over the entire week because no matter how much you
love beef stew, after three days of it, you just don’t want to see it
again. Considering participating in a meal co-op with some other
spouses where you each cook meals in bulk, package them family
style and then trade meals. That way, instead of just cooking lasagna for a small family, you can cook two or three trays of lasagna,
trade them with your friends, and end up with three to four different entrée choices for the entire week.
• Check out those places that allow you to put together dinner
on the premises to be frozen until you’re ready to cook them.
Nationwide there are any number of chains such as Let’s Dish
(www.let’sdish.com) that run sessions in their stores where
people pick the entrees and side dishes they would like and then
put them together on site. The dishes then get refrigerated or
frozen until you’re ready to eat them. The appeal of these places
is that all the ingredients are prepared for you, so there’s no menu
planning, shopping, chopping, or prepping. All you do is pick your
entrees and then show up to assemble them. Don’t like a certain
ingredient? Leave it out. Outside of the advantages already listed
above, one that can’t be overlooked is that after you’re done putting the food together, someone else cleans up the mess.
 Don’t obsess about the things you can’t control. Everyone — deployment
or not — could stand to keep this in mind. To find out more about
managing your anxiety, check out Chapter 19.
Multitudes of resources are available to help you weather the deployment
more effectively. Do what you need to do to take care of yourselves and
remember: Your spouse has a mission while he’s deployed. Yours is to maintain the homefront so he doesn’t worry about what’s going on back home.
Sometimes, it can get to be a bit much to handle. The news reports are coming
too frequently, or you’ve just been doing it for too long. Remember that you’re
not in it alone.

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Chapter 17

Accessing Traditional
Family Support
In This Chapter

 Finding support that meets your needs on your terms

 Understanding traditional support options

 Getting involved

 Looking for professional help

O

ne of the most difficult aspects of the deployment is that your best
friend and helpmate is out of the picture for months on end, and it can
start to feel like you’re in it alone. To stave off these feelings of isolation, you
should look around at ways to get involved. Perhaps support groups are not
your thing and you’re looking for some help. Have no fear — you can find just
what you want and more with relative ease.

Finding Support on Base
Look around the base and you’ll find that many of the buildings house offices
and programs designed specifically to help and empower military families.
Just as you would do your homework before starting any new endeavor, take
the time to research the resources you have available to you on base. That
way, when you need to access a specific program, you’ll already have an idea
of what’s out there to support you and your family.

FSC — Family support center
Regardless of what stage of deployment you may be at, the Family Support
Center will be one of your best resources. You should get a strong start to
the deployment by taking advantage of the pre-deployment briefings. As a
matter of fact, go ahead and plan on attending any and all briefings you are

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given access to. Every deployment’s different. Even if you’ve been through
multiple deployments, it’s always a good idea to have the refresher course.
This way you’ll be forced to sit down with your spouse and go through the
paperwork each time. Here are some of the points you need to check out:
 Will: It doesn’t matter what stage in life you’re at, everyone needs a will
and it needs to be updated with every significant life event such as: a
marriage, birth, or change in finances. Currently serving members can
generally utilize legal services on base for free. See Chapter 9 for details.
 Powers of attorney: You should also go through the different powers of
attorney that are available and figure out which ones you need. When it
comes to being prepared for a deployment, there’s no such thing as too
much information. See Chapter 9 for details.
 Deployment benefits: The personnel at the family support center
can also help make sure you understand your deployment benefits to
include the financial ones. Regardless of how long you’ve been in the
military, the benefits are constantly changing, and it can be challenging
keeping up with them. There’s no shame in asking the experts. It’s their
job to know what the new programs are. A lot of the benefits can only be
taken advantage of while the servicemember is deployed, so it’s important to know what all your options are right from the start. No one wants
to feel like they missed out on a good deal. Refer to Chapter 16 for more
information on deployments.
Depending on your branch of service and what’s available on your specific installation, you may be eligible for deployment benefits ranging
from free respite childcare to free oil changes. Check your installation
for programs available to you and your family.
 Financial readiness: One of the greatest sources of contention for military families particularly during deployment is the state of the family
finances. If you have the time and inclination, you may want to think
about taking the financial readiness classes at the installation family
support center. Chances are good that while your spouse is deployed,
you’ll be responsible for some, if not all aspects of the family finances.
Understanding your financial management and investment options will
make you all feel better. Servicemembers shouldn’t have to worry that
the family is undergoing money troubles while he’s away.
 Installation support: In addition to the classes and individual services
available, some family support centers also maintain lists of families of
deployed servicemembers and will use this information to push information out to you. Don’t underestimate the value of this little touch. It’s nice
to hear about what the installation is doing to support the families of those
who are deployed. And who knows, maybe you want to try that spouse
support group or attend the holiday potluck and party that they’re having
for the families. Just consider it another resource available to you. More
information can always be found at the base family support center or on the
official installation for the installation.

Chapter 17: Accessing Traditional Family Support

Turning to faith-based solutions
Base chapels are a tremendous source of support. Many people are used to
turning to their chaplains for confidential faith-based counseling and support. If you’ve been attending the church for awhile, you’re probably used to
speaking openly with your chaplain about different issues, so it’s a natural
extension to go to him/her about sensitive issues dealing with marriage,
deployments, and communication. What many people don’t realize though
is that you don’t have to be a member of the congregation to seek help. The
door to the chaplain’s office is always open to everyone on the installation.
Military chaplains are also deployable so chances are good that they have
had personal experience with some of the things you’re going through.
Many of the programs available through the installation chapels are open to
everyone regardless of your religious beliefs. A lot of the marriage and relationship enrichment classes run through the chaplains even though they are
not faith-based solutions. Depending on the service branch and installation,
you can find anything from classes and seminars on communication skills,
marriage enrichment, weekend retreats, and other programs developed to
help with relationship skills and maintain strong military marriages.

Participating in Family
Readiness Groups (FRG)
When your spouse is deployed and you’re responsible for your entire household on your own, sometimes the thought of getting out there and taking
on more responsibility or helping anyone else seems ridiculous. You need
to change that way of thinking. Don’t think of it as a burden. Think of it as
an opportunity to expand your network by getting involved with a group of
people all pulling for a common goal — supporting the servicemembers and
the families within the unit.
Even though you’re not going to want to add another event to your calendar and sign on to attend yet another meeting, it’s important that you go to
the official FRG and unit events. This is when you’ll get the official information from the unit. Instead of relying on second-hand information for your
updates, go to the meetings yourself and find out what’s going on. The purpose of FRGs is to foster the camaraderie and well-being of unit members
and their families. FRG activities also serve the dual purpose of giving you
the opportunity of meeting other servicemembers and family members in the
unit. It’s always helpful to be able to put names and faces to the people who
are going through the same experience you are.

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Even if you’re fortunate enough to be stationed near your family, there’s no
such thing as too much support. The people in your Unit and by extension,
the Family Readiness Group, will function as your extended military family.
And unlike your birth family who may or may not understand or relate to
your military lifestyle, your extended military family understands because
they’re going through it too. You don’t have to fill in any back story because
your reality is theirs as well.
Aside from the servicemembers who are tasked with responsibilities for the
FRG and the recent advent of the paid Family Readiness Assistants, everyone
else involved in running an FRG is a volunteer. These are family members from
the unit who have the same stressors you do and have stepped up to fill a
role and provide a service to their peers. Maintain reasonable expectations on
your part and remember that they are taking care of the entire unit. Their sole
purpose in life is not to be your beck and call girl. Remember, they’re dealing
with their own deployment and family issues. Let them know that you appreciate all they do on your behalf.
It is possible for volunteers to get compassion fatigue and burn out. This can
be prevented by sharing the load. If you have the time, think about taking on
a task for the FRG. Maybe you can lead a support group or take charge of one
of the children’s parties. If everyone understood the importance of giving
back and being part of the solution, the burden would be shared more evenly
and unit morale would remain strong and steady. Everyone would always
know where to go for information and support.
If you decide against being actively involved with your FRG group, at least do
the bare minimum and keep your contact information up to date. This will
allow them to send you official communication and keep you in the loop.
During normal times, you’ll appreciate having other spouses to hang out with
and vent. Your children will enjoy having other children to pal around with
whose family dynamic is similar to their own with one parent missing. But in
worst case scenarios, you will truly appreciate the support and organization
of your FRG. It’s when something goes wrong that the strength of a unit and
the FRG really come into play. If for no other reason, this in itself is reason
enough to develop those relationships and get involved.

Having some fun and giving back
Recently, spouse clubs have gotten a bad rap. They’re viewed as archaic
bastions of a bygone era. This is unfortunate because nothing could be
further from the truth. Becoming involved in a spouse club provides you a
great opportunity to meet other spouses. The luncheons and other events
are a great escape from the daily grind and a wonderful way to get that
adult conversation in a civilized setting that doesn’t include an overgrown

Chapter 17: Accessing Traditional Family Support
mouse or plastic ball pits. Treat it as a form of escapism. Where you may
be involved with your FRG, with a spouse club, you’ll actually meet spouses
from other units around the installation. This is a good opportunity for you
to expand your circle of friends.
You can get as involved as you want. Sometimes, it’s enough to just pay your
dues, receive the newsletter, and attend some of the monthly events. There’s
generally a theme to each of the events. Sometimes it’s an activity and other
times it’ll be a popular speaker or scholarship luncheon. Regardless of who
you speak to, one of the most popular events remains Bingo. In the past, the
theme was generally Crystal/Silver Bingo, but more recently, this has been
replaced by Basket, Pottery, or International Bingos.
In addition to the social aspects associated to belonging to a spouses’ club,
you’ll be part of a grand tradition of philanthropy. The clubs’ activities are
centered on raising money to give back to the installation and to military families. This is done through donations to various organizations and scholarships for military dependents. These funds are sometimes generated through
the operation of a Gift Corner or Thrift Shop staffed mostly with volunteers.
The viability of these shops depends on the club members who volunteer
their time.
A small club can raise a few thousand dollars for charity while the larger
clubs such as the ones overseas with large Gift Corners can raise and give
out several hundred thousand dollars.
If you feel like you want to go beyond just attending the events and would like
to take on a more active role in your club, volunteer for one of the available
board positions. Depending on your level of interest, you can do anything
from putting together the programs, making arrangements, or planning scholarships for the club. It’s a great way to give back while having fun.
Participating on spouse club boards also provides great résumé bullets. It’s
transparent to many employers whether you were a volunteer or a paid volunteer. Experience is experience.

Getting Support Online
As great as the programs on base may be, sometimes after a full day of work
or running the kids around, the last thing you want to do is leave the house
again. Many people find that when they finally get a chance to wind down
and possibly chat with some friends or visit with some counselors, it’s late
into the night. Fortunately, lots of support systems are available at all hours
of the night.

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If you just can’t make it into the offices on base during regular work hours
and need to talk to someone, you have a free resource available to you online
called Military OneSource. Through a secure web portal providing free services to currently serving members and their families, Military OneSource
(www.militaryonesource.com) compiles all of the best resources available to you and provides links to official organizations. Regardless of what
you’re looking for, this site is a good jumping off point for you.
One of the features of Military OneSource is that they will try to bring together
special military discounts available to you and list them monthly based on
their availability, so it’s a good place to look if you’re looking for discounts on
products and services.
In addition to the information, Military OneSource also provides servicemembers and their families access to counselors through either in-person
or telephonic consultations. If you find that you are stressed beyond your
means and require outside help, this may be a good starting point for you. To
schedule a counseling session, call 800-342-9647 (CONUS), or 800-3429-6477,
or 484-530-5908 (OCONUS). They will start by having you answer some questions during an assessment process to decide the best course of action for
you. At that point, the consultants will likely refer you to a counselor within
a 30-mile radius of your home. If you are too far away to take advantage of
this, they may refer you for telephonic counseling sessions. These sessions
are provided to eligible servicemembers and dependents absolutely free of
charge.
If you go past the six sessions per issue per consultant, then you will have to
pick up the rest of the charges.
If Military OneSource is too purple for you and you’re looking to access more
service specific information, check out the family support Web sites sponsored by the different service branches:
 www.myarmylifetoo.com
 www.afcrossroads.com
 www.lifelines.navy.mil
 www.usmc-mccs.org
Sometimes, talking to a friend is exponentially more helpful than talking
to a counselor. Unfortunately, by the time you get all the kids to bed, pick
everything up, and catch your breath, it’s well past a decent hour to call one
of your friends. People have started turning to online forums for support
and the opportunity to vent. Find out more about online support forums in
Chapter 14.

Chapter 17: Accessing Traditional Family Support

Looking Outside the Fishbowl
All the support on base is great, but sometimes, you can start to feel like
you’re living in a bubble. It’s military life 24/7 with no break in between. At
least when your spouse is home, you can vent to him without the fear of
judgment. You don’t have to worry about being judged and found wanting
because you aren’t weathering the deployment as well as everyone else. The
multitudes of meetings can start wearing you down, and sometimes you just
want to visit with someone who’s far removed from your reality on base. You
may want to just get away from it all.
This is when those other networks of family and friends outside your unit or
installation really come in handy. It’s nice to engage in some escapism and pretend like you’re just a normal family and that your sanity isn’t determined by
what’s being reported on the news that day. Even though it would be so much
easier to cocoon yourself at home and not deal with the outside world, having
that connection with lots of other people will actually help make the time go by
faster. Sometimes over the breaks, it’s nice to make a little pilgrimage to visit
grandparents or aunts, uncles, and cousins. It’s a nice break to the monotony
and allows you the chance to share the parenting load for a time.
With all the options available to you, there’s no reason you should feel like
you’re in this alone. The help is out there for the taking. Just make sure you
maintain open lines of communication with your friends and family so they
know what’s going on. Don’t sequester yourself away from everyone, and
take the time to be a good friend. Just as you’re looking for ways to weather
the deployment, many of your friends are in the exact same situation. More
about finding community-based support in Chapter 14.

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Chapter 18

Helping Children Cope with
the Absence of a Parent
In This Chapter

 Understanding how separations affect children

 Helping them cope

 Getting help from others

 Reconnecting and bringing dad back into the fold

W

ith the current operations tempo, it seems like servicemembers are
spending more and more time away from home. Even if the servicemember isn’t deployed, in the course of regular duties and TDYs, it seems
like he’s still spending more time away from home. This makes for a lot of
missed moments with family. Unfortunately, the kids seem to bear the brunt
of these separations.

Understanding the Effects
of Deployment on Children
Depending on the age of the children, their stress and anxiety at the prospect
of a parent deploying will manifest itself in different ways. Preschool students
might start sucking their thumbs, wetting their beds, or withdrawing into
their shells. They may become clingier to the parent who is left behind. Older
children might become agitated or irritable more easily. They may have a difficult time concentrating on tasks at hand and may also have recurring nightmares. All these are pretty normal reactions to a deployment. However, don’t
be complacent. Look for the following warning signs that your children may
be having an extraordinarily difficult time and may require some additional
help or attention:
 Persistent lack of appetite
 Poor sleep habits that go on for an extended period of time

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 Lack of interest in activities they normally enjoy
 Withdrawal from family and friends
 Long-term behavioral problems that are out of the ordinary for the child
Some of these issues will crop up in most children in the face of a parent’s
deployment. Red flags should be waving if any of these issues persist for a
long period of time. Know what your resources are and use them if you need
them. You don’t need to handle everything on your own. It’s okay to ask for
help. You will be of no use to your children if you are unable to take care of
your own needs first (you can find out more about handling deployments in
Chapter 16).

Maintaining Routine
When a parent deploys, it might take some time to fill the void in terms of
redistributing the chores and responsibilities. However, the sooner you can
get a routine down, the better. Children can only manage so much change before
they start to feel off balance. There is so much that is out of their control that
they really do relish the routines in their life whether they admit it or not.
If you order Chinese food every Friday night and eat in front of the TV on tray
tables, then stick to that during the deployment. For your kids, it’s comforting knowing that even though dad is out of the picture for a little while, some
things still remain the same. They count on that little bit of fun and family
bonding at the end of the week remaining constant. This doesn’t mean that
you need to be inflexible. If they want to change the routine a little, then roll
with it. However, you shouldn’t drive the change. There’s already enough
that’s out of their control.
The interesting thing about routine is that for the parent who’s deployed, he
usually remembers life at home through the filter of those routines. He remembers the rituals, the Friday dinners, and finds great comfort in the knowledge
that no matter how crazy and dangerous things may be for him out in the
field, back at home, things are going on just as normal.
Maintaining routines goes beyond the fun rituals. You should hold your kids
to standards in all aspects of their lives. If Junior’s expected to pick up his
room, take out the trash, and empty the dishwasher as part of his daily tasks,
then hold him to it. Don’t cut him slack because mom or dad is deployed; he
should keep up with his chores. Teach them that even though they may be
sad and resentful that dad is gone, they still have responsibilities to themselves and to the family. The same thing goes for school.

Chapter 18: Helping Children Cope with the Absence of a Parent
While you should keep an eye on changes in behavior that can be attributed
to the deployment, you’re pretty savvy and can probably smell a con from a
mile away. You know when your kids are playing you like a fiddle. You’re not
going to be doing them any favors by allowing them to use the deployment as
an excuse for missed homework or bad grades. Be preemptive in dealing with
academic problems. If grades start to slide and problems persist, get your
children help with a tutor or extra time with a teacher.
As a “single parent,” it’s going to be difficult for you to attend all your kids’
events and activities. You might want to schedule weekly calendar meetings
where the family sits down and talks about what’s coming up over the next
week. Figure out who needs you where and when. It’ll be easier for you to
balance everything if you know up front what your kids’ expectations are in
terms of your presence at school events. Get it all down on a common calendar so that the events are de-conflicted.
You may be used to volunteering extensively in your kids’ schools or with
their after-school activities. You’re not going to be able to maintain this same
level of involvement while your spouse is gone because there will be more
demands on your time. However, this doesn’t mean that you have to forego
volunteering altogether. If you’re used to being the chaperone at the school
events and can’t make it now, perhaps you can call the food committee and
see if you can donate refreshments instead. Flexibility in all you do is going to
help you manage your kids’ expectations while maintaining your sanity. Find
out more about surviving a deployment in Chapter 16.

Communicating
Your kids will have a lot of emotions to deal with that they may not understand or be able to explain, and they may also ask you questions that you
have a difficult time explaining to them. Both you and your children need to
make some special efforts toward communication during this time, and these
sections give you some ideas on how to best communicate with and understand the emotional ups and downs of each other.

Encouraging open communication
It may be difficult for your kids to articulate exactly how they’re feeling.
You’re probably going to get frustrated that they’re lashing out or are
depressed and aren’t sharing what they’re going through with you. They may
have problems understanding their feelings themselves, never mind sharing
them with you. This might cause them some frustration. It’s important to
remember that they may not know how to help themselves.

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Help your kids communicate to share some of what’s going on inside them. If
they’re younger, they may express their feelings through pictures they draw.
Older kids may find that journaling daily helps alleviate some of the stress.
This type of exercise might help them express things that they have a problem saying out loud. The trick is to help your children find a medium that
works for them. It’s not so much about what you can read in the messages;
it’s more about what release your kids can get by getting some of their emotions down on paper.
In addition to helping your children deal with their stress and emotions over
the deployment, encourage them to reach out and communicate with the
deployed parent. They may be scared about dad’s safety, but shutting him
out or ignoring him is not the way to deal with this. They should maintain a
line of communication even when they’re separated. They should always feel
like they have two parents they can turn to. One parent may not be as accessible, but they’re certainly able to maintain the relationship through regular
correspondence and phone calls.
The deployed servicemember should make extra efforts to stay in touch with
each child. Everyone loves getting a letter personally addressed to them
in the mail. While this is more time consuming than just sending a blanket
e-mail, the extra effort is appreciated. It doesn’t even have to be a great, long
letter. Postcards or short notes are enough to let your kids know you care.
You can help facilitate communication between your kids and your deployed
spouse by putting together a little stationery kit for the deploying servicemember. Include some stamps, cards, and maybe pre-addressed envelopes to
make things easier to follow through.
Children are invariably going to experience some anxiety over a parent’s
absence. You can both help allay some of your children’s fears by educating them before the deployment on where the servicemember is going and
helping them understand a little more about the importance of the mission at
hand. To give them a better idea of where dad is going, perhaps you want to
show them the location on a map. Share with your kids as much as you think
they can handle about what their dad is going to be doing and who he will be
helping while he’s away.
Communication during the pre-deployment period is just as important as during
deployment. The children may have an easier time articulating their fears to
the parent who’s deploying because they don’t want to compound the stress
of the parent who’s left behind. Don’t underestimate the sophistication of your
children’s thought process or the depths of their consideration. Help them
become more comfortable with the impending deployment by taking the time
to sit down as a family and talk about what they can expect.

Chapter 18: Helping Children Cope with the Absence of a Parent

Explaining difficult topics
It can be difficult to explain to toddlers why daddy needs to go away. For
young children, things are pretty cut and dry. They don’t understand that
daddy’s out there serving the greater good. All they know is that their daddy
is not at home. It’s hard for them to understand why.
A few years ago, the Sesame Street Workshop, in collaboration with Wal-Mart,
the Department of Defense, and other sponsors, debuted an interactive video
series called Talk, Listen and Connect. One video in the series involves deployment. Toddlers may have a difficult time wrapping their minds around why a
parent needs to be away from home for such a long period of time, but they
may be more open to information when it’s being presented by a trusted friend
like Elmo.
This video helps children understand that their mom or dad is gone because
they’re doing something very important. It’s a very sensitive treatment of the
fears that children may have and lets them know that they’re not in it alone.
Their fears and feelings are expressed through the filter of Elmo dealing with
his father’s impending “business trip.” Laced throughout are vignettes of real
military children going through a deployment. There is also another companion video about homecomings that talks about the issues facing families
during the reintegration period.
Most recently, the Sesame Street Workshop has also released a new video
in the series that speaks about wounded warrior issues. In the video, the
father of Elmo’s friend, Rosita, comes back “changed.” During his “business
trip,” his legs were hurt and he can’t walk and now requires a wheelchair.
His daughter’s having a very difficult time adjusting to all the changes. This
last video does deal with very sensitive issues, so you may want to preview it
before sharing it with your kids because it will generate some questions. The
videos serve as a tremendous resource for military families. You can download all the videos for free along with companion guides for parents and caregivers at www.sesameworkshop.org/initiatives/emotion/tlc.
For older children and teenagers, they tend to lean on their friends a bit more.
Yet, sometimes, it doesn’t seem like enough. If they usually hang out with kids
whose parents may not have any connection to the military and may never
have experienced a deployment, your kids may seek out opportunities to be
around children going through the same things they are. Many Youth and Teen
Centers on base have deployment support groups. If your installation doesn’t
have these types of programs, seek out other families in your same situation
and invite them over to dinner. It’ll help your kids to have the opportunity to
hang out with other children going through the same thing.

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Managing Anxiety
Just as the daily deluge of information can become somewhat overwhelming
for you, it can have the same effect on your kids. Limit the amount of television
news they are allowed to watch. They don’t need to be bombarded by news of
the current conflict. You should also be judicious about how much information
you share with your children. Based on your child’s age, determine how much
information is enough and appropriate. It is absolutely possible to have too
much information.
When your kids wonder about how to balance everything, they’re going to
look to you to set an example. Try to project some calm and evenness. Just
as animals can smell fear from a mile away, your kids will be able to sense
your anxiety, and if you’re extremely stressed, they’ll know and will react to
it. While your children will try to live up to perceived (perhaps self-imposed)
expectations and maybe swallow their own fears and anxiety to take care of
you, that’s not their job — they’re kids and should be allowed to be kids. Find
your support elsewhere (more about dealing with deployments in Chapter
16); your job is to be strong for your kids, not the other way around.
Sometimes, you get so involved with maintaining the day-to-day routine and
surviving the deployment that you may forget to inject some fun into your and
your children’s lives. Halfway through the deployment, everyone’s nerves may
be a little frayed. If you start to get on each other’s nerves, it might be time to
play hookie. Get away from it all. Unplug and go see that movie your kids have
been waiting for. Don’t worry about the kids’ homework — so what if it doesn’t
get done to their usual high standard for once. Forget about the e-mails you
need to respond to and the phone messages you need to answer. Leave the
electronic gadgets behind and go hang out with your kids. Long after the ill
effects of the deployment have been forgotten, your kids will still remember
the times when mom conspired with them to have some fun. Who says you
have to be responsible 24/7? Sometimes, your kids need you to be a friend
more than they need you to be a mom.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to understand that the heightened state of
anxiety during a year-long (or 15-month) deployment is difficult to maintain
without some time outs. Find ways to celebrate your children’s milestones. If
your kids had an extraordinary day at school or at the track meet, celebrate
by eating dessert before dinner. Or, let them order in their favorite meal.
Maybe instead of doing chores all day Saturday, try to do a little during the
week so you can have game night on Saturday. Invite other friends and their
kids who may also have a loved one who’s deployed. The kids will appreciate the opportunity to be around other kids who are going through the same
thing they are. They won’t have to worry about saying the wrong thing and
can just relax and be themselves.

Chapter 18: Helping Children Cope with the Absence of a Parent
A great way for you to help your kids manage their anxiety is to listen to them
and respect their fears. Don’t belittle their feelings. Do your best to allay their
fears, but don’t be condescending and don’t dwell on the issue. Find ways to
fill their time with physical activities that will keep their mind off their fears
for even a little while. Family walks, spending time at the community pool,
sports camps, or lessons during breaks all fit the bill.

Staying Involved from a Distance
Don’t let the deployed parent be “out of sight, out of mind” at your house.
Keep the deployed parent in the loop. Share information about what’s going
on in your lives back home. Get the kids involved with writing letters and
sending care packages. Maybe you can make a habit of picking out special
school assignments that they’re particularly proud of, such as an A+ on a
particularly difficult quiz, a really nice picture they made in art class, or a
report they wrote, and sending copies to dad. That’s a great way to keep the
deployed parent current on how the kids are doing.
There are also a number of organizations such as Connect and Join (www.
connectandjoin.com) that provide secure Web sites where families can
build and maintain family sites to keep in touch. This particular organization
allows for multiple access passwords that can be shared with extended
family members or friends. That way, you all have a secure Web portal where
you can share pictures, calendars, and other projects. Information can be
input by everyone, so dad can even share some of his insights or give input
for class projects or assignments.
The deployed servicemember may miss some milestones by virtue of being
far away from home, but there are ways to stay involved. Don’t take the easy
road and leave the responsibilities of gift giving, card buying, and acknowledgements to the spouse left at home. With a little preplanning and very little effort
on your part, both parents can be involved in acknowledging the special
occasions.
For children, the novelty of receiving a delivery of balloons or a cookie or
fruit bouquet on their birthday from a parent far away is thrilling. Remember
to send those birthday cards. The deployed parent can make an effort to
send cards for no reason whatsoever. Knowing that they are special enough
to rate a special effort is priceless to your kids. It’s difficult enough for them
while one parent’s deployed. Find a way to maintain his presence in the
home in small ways while he’s gone.

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For the toddler set, companies have popped up that produce likenesses of
a deployed parent. Through a company called Flat daddies (http://
flatdaddies.com/), you can request a life-size paper likeness of the
deployed servicemember. There is also a company (www.hugahero.com)
that puts the likeness of the parent on a soft fabric “doll.” The dolls can go
anywhere with the child, and some children find great solace in them.

Letting Kids be Kids
You’re going to want your kids to behave like little angels. You’re going to
want to believe that your kids understand that mommy’s nerves are frayed
and they should be well-behaved so that they don’t add to mommy’s stress.
Unfortunately, the reality is that your kids are going to act out — not always
at the most opportune moments. It’s up to you to react appropriately and
help them through the emotional turmoil.
While kids may start out well behaved, at some point, they’re going to get
sick of being good and act out. Some may act irritable. Some may be angry
or sullen. Some may even feel guilty. Younger children sometimes worry that
daddy left because of something they did. They may feel that the deployment
was a direct result of their bad behavior. Make sure they understand that this
is not the case. You’ll know best what your kids will respond to, but it’s important for them to understand that whatever they’re going through is a normal
reaction. Validate their feelings. Let your kids know that it’s okay regardless of
what their feelings are regarding the deployment and separation.
Although there will be incredible demands on your time, try to find ways for
your children to keep up with their extracurricular activities. It’s important
for them to maintain as much of their routine as possible. They should also
have some escape from the day-to-day grind and worry associated with the
deployment. Whether you rely on carpools, or cut back on the number of
classes they take, do whatever you can to allow the kids to maintain as much
of their regular schedules as possible.
Don’t go overboard. When you’re the only parent at home shouldering all
the parenting responsibilities, this may not be the time to take on additional
duties. Don’t sign on for more activities unless you already have a plan in
place to make it work.

Setting Realistic Expectations
Help your kids understand what they can expect when one of their parents
is deployed. They’re going to be a little apprehensive about what’s going to
happen while dad’s away. They’ll want to know how often they’ll be able to

Chapter 18: Helping Children Cope with the Absence of a Parent
talk to dad, what he’ll be doing over there, and when he’ll be back. Give them
as much information as you think they can handle. Be very honest in the
discussion and respect your kids enough not to be condescending. They’re
going to be justifiably concerned and you should be prepared to explain
things until they’re satisfied with the answers.
Your kids are also going to want to know how their normal routine is going
to change. Discuss these changes before the deployment. As a single parent,
you’re not going to be able to maintain the same level of involvement that
you can when there’s another parent in the picture. You’ll be doing it all. It’s
important that your kids understand this right off the bat and it should be
both parents who have this discussion with them. Don’t make it a one-sided
discussion. Listen to their concerns and really hear what they’re saying.
The deployment will go much smoother if you can get off to a strong start
and manage expectations on all sides. You might be surprised to hear some
of your kids’ fears for your spouse. It’s a big burden for a child to bear, so
whatever you can do to take some of the load off their shoulders will help
them weather the deployment that much better.

Looping in the Caregivers and Teachers
Childcare centers and schools often provide an anchoring effect for children
whose parents are in the midst of deployment. While things are changing so
much in their home life, it’s nice for them to have an environment that stays
the same. However, the anxieties and stress they feel may creep into their
time at school. Your kids may be acting out in ways you may not be aware of.
Children in childcare facilities may be more irritable or short tempered.
They may display less patience with other children and may even lash out
uncharacteristically. At school, your kids’ grades may slip because they can’t
concentrate or are stressed out. To be fair, you really need to give their caregivers and teachers a heads up. This shouldn’t be confused with asking for
special treatment. This is simply letting the people in your child’s life know
what’s going on so that they can keep an eye out for any strange behavior.
They may even be able to offer you some suggestions on how to keep your
child focused or how to manage the demands on their time.
Some caregivers and teachers may be unfamiliar with the military and
deployments. Take the time to educate them on what it means. It will be helpful to them to understand why the children in their care are behaving differently for some “unfathomable” reason.
Maintain a good line of communication with your children’s caregivers and
teachers. Make sure they have your contact information, and take the time to
get theirs. Ask them if they have preferences in the way that they would like
to be contacted. Perhaps they have office hours you can take advantage of.

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You can’t possibly hope to know what’s going on with your child during
work hours unless you develop those relationships with their teachers and
administrators. They will become your best advocates for your children.
Some teachers may even choose to be more pro-active in supporting their
students who have a parent in the military. They may perhaps even make an
effort to take pictures of events or special milestones during school hours so
the pictures can be shared with the absent parent. Depending on the number
of children in the classroom who are affected by deployments, they may even
be more apt to bring elements of deployment into the classroom curriculum.
They may even ask the class to help manufacture a welcome-home banner for
returning servicemembers. Regardless of how involved they may or may not
want to be, it’s still very important to keep them in the loop.
Besides you, your kids’ caregivers and teachers are the ones spending the
most amount of time with your children. They will know (sometimes before
you do) when there’s something going on. Developing a relationship with
them will help open up those lines of communication. You should consider
them partners in your child’s well-being.
Once you know when your spouse is coming home, you’re going to want to
pay your children’s teacher and caregivers the courtesy of letting them know.
This is especially the case if you have a family trip planned outside the cycle
of a normal school break or holiday. If they’re able to take a little time away,
there will be homework to make up and you should make sure you have a plan
of action in place to be less disruptive to the child’s class and to the teacher.

Sharing Responsibilities
With one parent away for a time, there are going to be chores and responsibilities that will need to be redistributed. Let your kids know that they may
be asked to help out around the house a little more. If dad usually walks the
dog in the morning before he goes to work, then maybe Junior should accompany dad on those morning walks for a few weeks before the deployment.
That way, when dad leaves, Junior’s ready to step in and take care of walking
the dog while dad’s gone.
Your kids should be given chores that are age appropriate. Deployment
should not have anything to do with them maintaining their chores. They
should just be aware that while dad’s gone, everyone may be asked to take
on a couple more responsibilities. Work the changes in gradually so that the
kids don’t equate dad going away with having to do more work. That will only
fuel the resentment.

Chapter 18: Helping Children Cope with the Absence of a Parent
While dad’s gone, older children tend to step up to the plate and help out with
their younger siblings. They may take on additional responsibilities that go
beyond being mom’s helper. When dad gets back, it’s difficult to relinquish all
those responsibilities and the authority that comes with them. You’re going to
have to be very careful to be sensitive to their feelings and not diminish their
importance to the household. Reward them somehow for all their contributions (perhaps with an increased allowance), but remind them that now that
they don’t have to help so often with their siblings, they have more time for
other things. Maybe because they had to step in and help out more often, they
missed out on activities with their friends or classmates. Remind them that
having dad come home is a good thing. It means more time for them to be with
their friends. It doesn’t mean that they’re no longer needed.

Seeing the Light at the End of the Tunnel
Sometimes, it seems like the separations are interminable. Help your kids
keep an eye on the prize — figure out a way to let them know that the deployment is not forever and that there is an end in sight.
Before he leaves, maybe he can show the kids on a calendar how long he’ll
be gone. Then every morning or evening, they can mark an X through the day
that puts them one day closer to the end. Perhaps dad can write silly little
notes to the kids. Put the notes in a large glass bowl, and let the kids pull
one out every day. Not only are the notes a great way to get that little bit of
encouragement or tidbit from dad every morning, when the notes are gone,
daddy will be back. They can watch the level of notes in the bowl go lower
and lower. The notes don’t have to be long sentiments — just little reminders
to the kids that there’s another parent in the picture who cared enough to
write a bowl full of notes for them.
Just because the deployment’s supposed to be a year doesn’t mean that
the parent will be back in a year. Unfortunately, deployments have a way of
extending, and being deployed beyond the initial return date is par for the
course these days. Be preemptive and have some extra notes on hand. If dad’s
deployment is extended, add the notes to the bowl.
Look ahead past the deployment and plan a trip. Give the kids something to
look forward to. Let the parent who’s deployed contribute to the planning so
that it really does become an anticipated family vacation. Keeping the kids
focused on something positive channels their energy and helps the time pass.

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Getting Away
You and the kids will need some kind of break during your servicemember’s
deployment. Whether you take small breaks by staying busy with volunteering
and helping others or you take an actual family vacation, the following sections
give you some ideas to make sure you get the break you need.

Taking some time off
Even though it seems like a deployment tends to take on a life of its own and
sometimes runs an entire family’s life, it’s healthy to take some time off and
not let the deployment run your life. There’s nothing better at keeping children’s minds off their own problems than volunteering and helping others. If
you volunteered as a family before your spouse deployed, then maintain the
tradition while he’s gone. If volunteering as a family is new to you, then you
might want to sit down with your kids and find things they may be interested
in doing.
If you don’t know where to start, check out America Supports You at www.
americasupportsyou.mil to find organizations in your area that are
already involved in some of the activities that you might be interested in supporting. Perhaps your kids would like to sponsor a Freedom Walk, or maybe
they want to read to children at the hospital. Feed the homeless? Cook meals
for families of wounded servicemembers? There’s something out there for
everyone.
Whether you plug into an existing charitable event being sponsored, or
originate something on your own, you’ll find that volunteering together will
help you bond as a family and will achieve the dual purpose of keeping your
kids occupied and letting them forget about their problems for a little while.
There’s no better cure for feeling sorry for yourself than by helping others.
Teach your children the value of philanthropy early and it might help them
keep everything else in their lives in perspective.

Looking forward to a family vacation
Is there a place your kids have always wanted to go? Perhaps Disney World?
Perhaps they’ve always wanted to try skiing? Fortunately, there are a number
of military discounts out there. With enough planning, you can put together
an affordable family getaway. There are some advantages to getting away
from the daily grind and the demands of well-meaning friends and extended

Chapter 18: Helping Children Cope with the Absence of a Parent
family. Packing up and taking a little family getaway is a great way to get out
and have some fun without any outside pressure or demands on your time.
Check out these resources for vacation planning:
 Perhaps your kids dream of breakfast with Snow White and Cinderella.
And maybe the older siblings are dying to ride the new roller coasters.
If so, a Florida vacation may be just what the doctor ordered. Shades of
Green is a military recreational facility (resort) located on the grounds
of Walt Disney World. It is steps away from the Magic Kingdom, is centrally located to all the parks, and is minutes away from downtown
dining and shopping. There is something there for everyone, and with
the special deals they run for returning OEF/OIF personnel and their
families, it really is possible to have an affordable Disney vacation.
Check out their Web site (www.shadesofgreen.org) for planning tools
and information.
 In addition to information on Shades of Green, the U.S. Army Family and
MWR Command Web site (www.armymwr.com) also includes information on the Hale Koa in Hawaii, the Dragon Hill Lodge in Korea, and the
Edelweiss Lodge in Germany.
 Local installation MWR facilities are also a great place to look for
vacation-planning resources. Perhaps you’re looking more toward a
cold weather location for your vacation. If your family’s excited about
hitting the slopes, you might want to think about starting your research
at the MWR facility at the Air Force Academy. They run specials at the
Keystone Resort that give military families access to condominiums and
special deals. Check out www.rockymountainblue.com/.
 If you don’t have time for a long vacation, you may want to just get
away for a day or two. Anheuser Busch runs a Hero Salute program
that allows currently serving servicemembers and their families a free
day pass to any number of parks nationwide (www.herosalute.com/
cavatx/overview.html).
 Perhaps you live far from any of these resort options and are looking for
a vacation alternative that is within driving distance from your home.
Then you might want to look into the Armed Forces Vacation Club
(www.afvclub.com). This program specializes in condominium and
vacation rental homes at discounted prices for active or retired military
personnel.
These are all just starting points for you, but you get the idea. There are ways
to plan a nice vacation on a budget. Let your kids decide where they want to
go, with some input from both parents, and then you can do some legwork
and find a vacation solution that works for your budget.

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What the kids need to focus on is the fun planning aspect of the vacation.
That way, when the conversations with dad out in the field start to get stilted,
you can all fall back on talking about the upcoming vacation. Once you pick
where you’re going, help the kids find books and articles about the location
that you can share with your spouse on the other end. That way, you’re all on
the same page in the planning process. Even though dad isn’t around, you’re
all still working on a family plan together. Find these little ways to keep the
parent who’s deployed in the family mix. Don’t fall victim to that “out of sight,
out of mind” mentality. It’s too easy for everyone to overcompensate for the
parent who’s gone by taking on extra responsibilities and leaving him out of
the mix.
The added advantage of taking a family vacation at the end of a deployment or
other extended separation is the opportunity to get away and get reconnected
as a family. When a servicemember comes home, extended family members
and friends will want to descend upon him and welcome him home as soon as
possible. While understandable, it puts a crimp into any private family bonding opportunities. Don’t miss out on this time together. Plan that vacation and
get away. The time for big family reunions is after you get back.

Bringing Daddy Back into the Fold
When a parent returns from deployment, the closeness and familiarity is not
necessarily going to automatically follow suit. For better or worse, the returning parent is a little bit of a stranger. When he left, the family dynamic shifted
a little to accommodate the changes. Now that he’s back, things have to
move back around to bring him back into the fold.
Even under normal circumstances, kids can become confused. During one
parent’s absence, they have probably gotten used to the other parent doing
everything for them. Now that dad’s back, they may feel conflicted about
having to choose between asking one parent over the other to help them.
They will naturally default to the parent who was not deployed. Help your
servicemember to understand this and to accept the children’s feelings and
the pace with which they let him back into their lives and their hearts.
Some of the reintegration issues can be mitigated by better preparation before
the deployment. For example, if dad generally reads the kids a bedtime story,
videotape dad reading bedtime stories that can be played for the kids at the
appropriate time. That way, when dad comes back, and you’re faced with the
bedtime ritual of reading a story, the kids may more easily accept dad reading
them the story because he’s been doing it all along. Find ways to weave dad
into the daily rituals even though he may be gone. The bigger presence he has
in your children’s life while he’s away, the easier it will be for you all when he
comes back.

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For older children, maybe they can pick a book they want to read along with
dad, so they have something to talk about while he’s away. Encourage them
to make dad a CD of favorite songs, and send the CDs along so that he can
keep up with them. Keeping the connection with the older kids may be even
more difficult than with the younger ones. Throughout the teen years, they’re
changing so rapidly. Before dad left, they may not have been interested in
the opposite sex. By the time he gets back, they may already be dating. Or
they may have hit other milestones such as being able to drive. They are too
cool for words, so reconnecting with teenagers can be even more challenging
than reconnecting with their younger siblings. Your servicemember needs to
respect that teens need to do things on their own terms and in their own time.
An added complication to the reintegration period is that children may be
a little timid because they don’t know if mom or dad has changed. As silly
as it sounds, they don’t know if mom or dad still loves them the same way.
They may worry that the parent has changed over the course of the deployment. Find a way to spend time with each child on a one-on-one basis doing
something of their choosing. You can encourage your servicemember to do a
couple of things to help alleviate that fear:
 Listen to them and pay them the undivided attention that they crave.
 Arrange a day that the servicemember spends with each child on an
individual basis, allowing the children to plan the activities for the day.
Be aware that your children are going to feel conflicted about who they
should be turning to, and you and your servicemember should make sure
they understand that there’s not a choice to be made. As far as you and the
children are concerned, you’re in it as a team unit.
Through the reintegration process, don’t be surprised if your children express
some fears about the next deployment. They may already be worried about
daddy having to leave again.

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Chapter 19

Keeping Connected
with Your Loved One
In This Chapter

 Figuring out how to stay in touch and maintain the friendship

 Understanding new communication methods

 Remembering them with gifts and letters from home

 Maintaining your sanity

W

ith frequent deployments and extended separations, it can be quite challenging to maintain that connectivity between you and your service
member. Fortunately, with today’s technology, communicating across the
miles is easier than ever. In this chapter, we take some time exploring the
new technologies available to you as well as provide some suggestions on
how to stay connected.

Communicating Securely
No one likes to think of this, but when your servicemember is deployed,
you’re very vulnerable, and no means of communication is entirely secure.
Be careful what details you inadvertently reveal in your conversation or blog
entries. Your general guidance should be, if you’re not comfortable having a
total stranger know certain details about your life, do not put them out there
for anyone to read or hear. The following sections describe how to stay in
touch with your spouse during deployment as well as encourage you to keep
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Using the Internet
With the advent of technology, military families have started turning to the
Web for support. Spouses, parents, and children are blogging online at an
unprecedented rate. Sometimes that results in threats to operational security
(OpSec). Not being cognizant of other people possibly eavesdropping, family
members may inadvertently share too much information through casual conversation. It’s a challenge for the services to allow troops and family members
access to free and open communication lines while still maintaining OpSec.
Understanding that families will look for innovative ways to keep in touch,
services have made efforts to build secure online forums for soldiers and
families to communicate securely. The Army has established a Virtual Family
Readiness Group (VFRG) to allow families and soldiers to go through a secure
Web portal to communicate. Check out www.armyfrg.org.
The VFRG also allows the Army to push information out to families by updating the home page. This is especially convenient in reaching out to families
who may be geographically remote from the installation or other families
who do not self-identify themselves with the military and do not know where
to look for resources.
Families have always journaled about their experiences and anxieties. Some
things haven’t changed. However, with today’s technology, they’re getting
more sophisticated and taking their journaling to the Web. The blogosphere
is literally replete with thousands of military-related blogs, and new ones
come online every day. Blogs serve as a means for people to share anything
from their innermost feelings to favorite resources and tools. For some people,
it’s a little like a voyeuristic view into someone’s life. Some bloggers share very
intimate details with their audience, while others are more circumspect.
Remember, blogs are out there for everyone to see. Be sure you don’t share
anything that you could regret others reading.

Making phone calls
Back in the day, servicemembers used to have to stand in line for hours to
make morale calls to their families. When they finally made it to the front of
the line, the calls were patched through the Pentagon operator and you never
knew how long the connection would last. It was like playing roulette. The calls
varied anywhere from a few minutes to ten minutes and frequently ended without any notice. You would be talking away and all of a sudden, the phone line
would go dead and you were no longer connected. The phone call had ended
unceremoniously. So, you’d find yourself starting each phone call with, “Hello,
we love you, we miss you, stay safe, and we’ll talk to you again soon.” Back
then, families were captive to other people’s schedules and whims.

Chapter 19: Keeping Connected with Your Loved One
With today’s technology, that is no longer the case. Through the use of satellite
phones, even servicemembers in very remote areas are able to stay in touch
with their families on a regular basis. For those not in remote areas that have
access to the Internet, their options are endless. Free Internet telephone applications such as Skype make it possible for servicemembers and their families
to connect on their timetables. They are no longer captive to high prices and
crazy schedules. As far as you’re concerned, all you need is a computer and
Internet access. If you have video capability, you can even see your loved one
during the calls. It’s so much easier these days to stay connected.

Sharing a Piece of Home
When the servicemembers are so far away from home, it’s easy to revert to
the “out of sight, out of mind” mentality. Everyone gets caught up in their
day-to-day routine and it’s all too easy to collapse at the end of the day without giving a second thought to what extra tasks you can stuff into your day.
This is when you should make the extra effort to show that you care, that you
miss them, and that you are thinking of them.
Care packages are a great tangible way to express these feelings. In addition
to breaking up the monotony of servicemembers’ days, a care package is a
sign that you care enough to take time out of your day to assemble a thoughtful package and then stand in line at the post office to send it. For servicemembers, it’s also a great way to bring them a taste of home. Many of the
things they miss from the states, they may not be able to get where they are.
Keeping that in mind, there are some guidelines to follow when assembling
your care packages:
 Don’t send things that are contraband to that country. The post office
will have a comprehensive list of what you can and can’t send, but general guidelines of prohibited items could include alcohol, meat products,
pornography, flammable items, weapons, fresh fruits, and vegetables.
 Chocolates are yummy, but if they’re deployed to a forward location
where it is exceedingly hot, you may want to forego the candy bars for
gum or hard candies.
 Cookies are always popular, but as far as care packages go, not all recipes are created equal. Find cookies that will withstand a lot of jostling
and that have a longer shelf life. Take care in packing them as well.
Recycle tubular potato chip (Pringles) canisters — they become great
containers for cradling cookies.
 Think of things they can’t get where they are. Popular requests include
bottles of Tabasco, plastic jars of peanut butter, Fluff, power bars, and
Girl Scout cookies.

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 Books help pass time. In addition to printed books, consider books on tape.
 For holiday care packages, you might think about including seasonal
decorations. Again, be sensitive to the country, but at Christmastime,
maybe sending along a little artificial Christmas tree with ornaments will
give them a taste of home in the desert or wherever they may be.
 Packaging is very important in making sure everything arrives intact.
Try to pack your items with enough padding to cushion them. Your box
shouldn’t rattle when you shake it. You shouldn’t be sending things in
glass containers, but if you’re sending anything that could potentially
break or spill, you might want to package it in a sealed plastic bag before
adding it to the care package.
 It’s always nice to send enough to share. Not everyone may have someone sending them care packages, and it’s important to keep up everyone’s
morale. So bake a couple extra dozen cookies and send them along.
The United States Postal Service has a great Frequently Asked Questions page
dealing with sending mail and care packages to the troops (www.usps.com/
supportingourtroops/supportingfaqs.htm).
In addition to care packages, nothing shows you care more than a handwritten letter sent through the mail. Mail call may seem archaic in light of today’s
technology and e-mail, but that is far from the truth. E-mail is great, but it
doesn’t replace the appeal of snail mail. There’s something priceless about
receiving a letter written in your loved one’s handwriting, knowing they took
the time to sit down and put their thoughts down on paper for you. The same
goes for notes and pictures written and drawn by children. Some emotions
just can’t be captured adequately in an e-mail. Take the time to write and
send that letter. If you have kids, get them involved as well.

Celebrating Special Occasions
One of the most difficult aspects of military deployments is being separated from your loved ones during those special occasions and milestone
moments. There’s nothing worse than missing birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries with your loved ones. However, with some pre-planning, there’s no
reason your servicemember spouse should be left out of the loop. Keeping
him involved with the kids is another topic altogether and is discussed at
length in Chapter 18. For our purposes here, we will discuss how to stay connected with your spouse or better half.
You may think it’s easy for your servicemember to send things home while
he’s deployed. A servicemember, with some planning, can cushion the blow
of you having to spend birthdays and anniversaries alone by pre-arranging
floral deliveries. By simply contacting a local florist before he deploys,

Chapter 19: Keeping Connected with Your Loved One
picking out the arrangements, and writing notes, on those special days, your
flowers will arrive on time. This doesn’t just work with flowers. Any number
of different gifts can be handled in the same manner.
And, as the spouse, you can return the favor. On the servicemember’s birthday,
why not send a birthday cake, some candles (if it’s not too hot), festive paper
plates, and napkins? Believe it or not, there are bakeries now that specialize
in packaging cakes in a manner that makes them suitable for shipping over
to the sandbox. Check out Web sites such as www.bakemeawish.com to
send birthday cakes overseas. Or, if you don’t want to go that route, send his
favorite snack cake with some fun paper goods and other decorations. In this
case, it really is the thought that counts.
For spouses and other family members left behind on the home front, a certain amount of pre-planning can help keep Mom or Dad in the loop and connected during special occasions and holidays. If Dad is the one who always
reads “The Night Before Christmas” to the kids on Christmas Eve, then think
about arranging a time for him to call when everyone else is together. With
the help of a speaker phone, he can still be in the thick of things. If this solution doesn’t work for you, why not videotape Dad reading the poem before
he deploys? That way, on Christmas Eve, you can play the video; while it’s
not as good as Dad being there in person, it is a way for him to be involved
on some level.

Staying Connected
It seems like every time you turn around, your kids have grown a few inches
and developed totally different interests. When you talk about a parent
deploying for months to over a year, it is challenging keeping them up to date
on everything that’s going on in a kid’s life. Resist the temptation to take the
easy route and do everything yourself. It takes some extra steps to keep your
spouse looped in on how the kids are doing, but it’s worth making the extra
effort. It’ll make the reintegration process that much easier when Mom or
Dad comes home. So make the time to:
 Share the kids’ calendars so that when the kids have an opportunity
to speak to the deployed parent, the parent has a jumping-off point to
know what was going on in their week.
 Make an effort to take lots of pictures and videos of the kids’ various events.
Share them frequently instead of waiting until they come home. That way,
the deployed parent doesn’t miss out on the little stories and events.
 Arrange for the kids to talk to the deployed parent frequently.

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 Get the kids involved in putting together and sending care packages.
 The deployed parent should send the kids their own e-mails or mail, so
the kids know they still have another parent they can talk to whenever
they need to.
Find more information on supporting children through deployments in
Chapter 18.
In addition to communicating with the children while deployed, it’s important to keep the extended family in the loop. They will be concerned with the
well-being of the deployed servicemember as well. Rather than having the
ones left behind dealing with the multiple phone calls, it is helpful for the
servicemember to send an e-mail update to the families. It’s also nice for the
servicemember to be receiving mail and e-mails from multiple sources.
Get the extended family involved in sending care packages and presents for
special occasions. It’s nice for the deployed servicemember to know that they’re
not losing a year out of their lives and that other people are thinking of them.

Managing Anxiety
When you are separated from your spouse and the news is broadcasting
24 hours a day from all corners of the earth, your imagination can start to
run wild. Technology’s a great thing, but sometimes enough is enough and
you need to unplug. In the era of embedded journalists, we’re often finding
out about bombings and other incidents out in the field as soon as they’ve
occurred. It is possible to become overstimulated.
To help manage anxiety, limit the amount of news you’re exposed to. Trust
that your spouse has the best training possible and that he will be fine. While
he may be in danger only a portion of the time that he is away from you, it’s
easy for you to imagine that he’s in danger 100 percent of the time that he
is gone. All that can amount to quite a bit of stress. You’re going to have to
find ways to manage the anxiety, or you’ll find yourself coming apart at the
seams. Here a few ways help manage anxiety:
 Exercise regularly. Even if it’s just a walk with a friend around the block,
build some exercise into your routine to let off some steam.
 Maintain healthy eating. It’s going to be tempting to not cook meals for
one, but it’s worth making the effort instead of eating out all the time.
Find the spouse of another deployed servicemember and share meals.
 Maintain healthy sleeping habits. It’s important to recharge your
batteries every night.

Chapter 19: Keeping Connected with Your Loved One
 Stay away from toxic people. You’ll recognize them — they’re the ones
that generate drama. They will drain your lifeblood — trust us when we
say you do not have the time or energy for this. Do not empower them
to take more of your attention than you’re willing to give.
 Have fun. It’s okay to have fun while your spouse is deployed or TDY.
You don’t have to do everything together. If you have an opportunity
to take advantage of excursions or a little trip with another spouse and
their kids, do it. It’ll help pass the time and keep your mind occupied.
 Get involved. Don’t spend days alone in the house by yourself. Before too
long, the days will string together and become weeks. Without knowing it,
you might have cut yourself off from the outside world. If you’re not working outside the home, find volunteer opportunities that appeal to you or
find other reasons to leave the house.
 Remember that your spouse has the best training possible and that he
is good at his job. Have faith that he will be fine.

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Part V:

Transitioning Out
of the Military

A

In this part . . .

ll good things must come to an end. When it comes
time for the service member to look for that first job
out of the military, the whole family feels the impact. This
part will guide you to an easier transition from the
military.

Chapter 20

Separating from Service
In This Chapter

 Planning your separation

 Defining the ways members separate from service

 Evaluating financial impacts of transitions at different career stages

S

ome people enter the military expecting to fulfill their initial commitment and nothing more. Others choose service as their career. For many
families, military service has been a way of life for generations. Regardless
of the reasons people choose to serve, they have even more reasons for why
they choose to leave the service.
Your servicemember may discover that a career in the military is not for
him. As a couple, you may decide that life in the military is not for your
family. Transitions from service may occur at anytime throughout your
servicemember’s military career. For any person leaving the service,
whatever the reason, planning ahead is essential.
In this chapter we discuss the essential pre-separation planning, the various
characterizations of separation, and how these affect your family primarily
from the financial perspective, such as access to veteran’s benefits and
military retirement benefits.

Preparing for Separation
The Department of Defense (DoD) recommends that you start your
planning at least 12 months prior to separation and 24 months prior to
retirement. In this section we focus on planning for separation from service.
Check out Chapter 21 to find out more about planning for retirement from
military service.

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Transition assistance program
The DoD’s Transition Assistance Program (TAP) is an outstanding resource
to assist you and your servicemember in exploring all the options and
opportunities for all types of employment (government and private sector)
available, to answer questions, and to provide guidance and support through
your transition from military service to civilian life.
Specifically, the TAP program consists of the following:
 Mandatory pre-separation counseling
 Department of Labor employment workshops
 Veteran’s benefits briefings conducted by the VA
 Disabled Transition Assistance Program (DTAP)
Your servicemember must complete DD Form 2648 (Pre-separation Counseling
Checklist) to begin the transition process, and then must make an appointment to see his local transition counselor. Transition counselors are
available at your installation. Check with your Family Support Center for
more information.
Transition assistance is available to your servicemember for up to 180 days
after separation from active duty. Transition assistance counselors address
the support available and help you with the stress of the drastic changes that
are a natural part of the transition process.

Getting your records in order
It is absolutely essential that all of your servicemember’s military records are
accurate and complete before separating from service. Be sure to obtain and
retain original, official copies of the following documents, and put them in a
safe place:
 Service medical records
 Administrative/personnel file
• Performance evaluations
• Service-issued licenses or certifications
• DD Form 2586 (Verification of Military Experience and Training)
• Security clearances
• DD Form 214 (Certificate of Release or Discharge from Active Duty)

Chapter 20: Separating from Service
Veterans cannot obtain VA benefits without an original DD Form 214. Consider
obtaining at least ten additional certified copies of this form.
If you discover or believe that there is an error on any of your official military
documents, you should complete and file DD Form 149 (Application for
Correction of Military or Naval Record). You can obtain this form at www.
archives.gov/veterans/military-service-records/correctingrecords.html.

Relocating
An important aspect of transitioning from the military is physically relocating
your family. You should consult with your nearest Family Support Center
and talk with a Relocation Assistance Program (RAP) representative. RAP
reps can be an excellent source for relocation information and planning assistance. Relocation assistance specialists can assess your family’s personal
needs and circumstances and help plan a successful transition. RAP reps
have access to extensive information about military and civilian communities
worldwide, including housing directories, employment and education opportunities, wellness programs, and other family services available near military
installations.

Employment education and training
Before separating from service, your servicemember should take advantage
of the assistance and guidance available through your installation’s
Education Center. Counselors provide transitioning servicemembers assistance in assessing vocational interests and in helping to identify skills and
interests and to clarify future career goals. They advise on continuing
education programs and even help with paperwork. Some military training
and experience may convert into college credit, and the education assistance
counselors can help you through that process too.
The Department of Veterans Affairs also provides educational counseling
after your servicemember leaves military service. The VA administers
the Montgomery GI Bill program (www.gibill.va.gov) and provides
assistance to Veterans enrolled in college degree programs, technical and
vocational certificate programs, and on-the-job training and apprenticeship
programs. However, all programs must be approved by the VA in advance,
or they may not qualify for benefits. Refer to Chapter 11 for more
information on the Montgomery GI Bill and the new Post-9/11 GI Bill.
Benefits must be used within ten years of separation from active duty.

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Health insurance
One of the most important arrangements you need to make prior to separation is securing health insurance for your family. You may be fortunate
enough to have a high-quality, affordable health insurance plan provided by
your new civilian employer; however, commonly, coverage with your civilian
employer doesn’t begin immediately. You may need to buy private health
insurance that covers you and your family between separation from service
and the effective date of your civilian employer provided insurance.
The Transitional Assistance Management Program (TAMP) provides temporary health insurance coverage to certain separating members and their
families. After TAMP coverage is exhausted, you may purchase extended
healthcare coverage known as Continued Health Care Benefit Program
(CHCBP), which is similar to TRICARE, and you can maintain coverage for up
to 18 months. If you aren’t eligible for TAMP, your family may still be eligible
for CHCBP, but your veteran must apply within 60 days of separation.
If your servicemember is activated Guard or Reserve, or a Guard or Reserve
veteran who served on active duty, your family may be eligible for TRICARE
Reserve Select.
Check with your transition officer or your health benefits advisor at your
medical treatment facility for assistance in exploring your healthcare options.

Pre-separation examinations
Prior to separation, servicemembers have the opportunity to receive
thorough physical and psychological examinations and report any medical or
psychological problems that they may currently have or have experienced in
the past at any time during their service. They really should do this because
one of the requirements for eligibility for VA disability benefits is that there
is a record of problems, symptoms, treatments, and injuries during active
military service. If your veteran develops a service-related disability and
his service medical records reflect nothing and he had no pre-separation
examination to confirm the presence of a medical or psychological problem,
it’s highly unlikely that the VA will award disability compensation.
So be sure that your servicemember reports all symptoms, problems, and
concerns that he has experienced throughout his entire active service during
his pre-separation examinations — if these concerns have not previously been
addressed and/or documented. Make certain that the healthcare provider
documents all of these details and that you obtain and maintain a complete
copy of your military service medical records.

Chapter 20: Separating from Service

Life insurance
Servicemembers’ Group Life Insurance (SGLI) continues to provide coverage
for the initial 120 days after your separation. Refer to Chapter 7 for details on
SGLI. You can convert your SGLI insurance coverage to the same amount of
Veterans’ Group Life Insurance (VGLI) and keep it indefinitely. VGLI is term
life insurance that is renewable every five years, regardless of your veteran’s
health. VGLI can also be converted at any time into an individual whole
life policy.
For many veterans, life insurance is available at a lower cost through other
insurance companies than through VGLI. However, the guaranteed issue of
VGLI is an extremely valuable benefit, if you’re not insurable or highly rated.
The VGLI rate table can be found at www.insurance.va.gov/sgliSite/
VGLI/VGLIRatesAfter.htm.
For a complete review of all veterans benefits, including VGLI, check out
Veterans Benefits For Dummies (published by Wiley).

Retirement savings
If your servicemember contributed to his Thrift Savings Plan, you have
several options upon separation:
 You can leave the money in the plan. Smart option!
 You can roll it over to an IRA account. Another smart option!
 You can roll it over to your new employer’s retirement plan, if allowed
by the employer. Yet another smart option!
 You can cash it out, pay all the taxes and penalties, and blow your
retirement savings. Not recommended!
You don’t have to do anything with your Thrift Savings Plan money until
age 701/2. So if you don’t know what you want to do with this money right now
and you can’t possibly even think about it with all of the other transitions
you’ve got going on, revisit this at another time. Your contribution will be just
fine accumulating interest and capital gains in your Thrift Savings Plan for a
while longer.

Legal assistance
Okay — if you haven’t taken advantage of your free military legal assistance
services to have wills, healthcare directives, and powers of attorney forms
updated in a while — do so now. These documents need to be revisited
periodically. Life changes — so should your documents!

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Also, you may find that you have legal questions or possibly problems
related to your separation. Consult with the legal assistance officers at your
installation for guidance.

Clarifying Voluntary versus Involuntarily
Separation from Service
There are two categories of separation from the armed forces: punitive
separations and administrative separations. And administrative separations
are further subdivided: voluntary and involuntary. Although all of the
categories may sound like a maze or Pentagon-eez, we break each category
down in the following sections so that you understand what the categories
mean and what they mean for your benefits.
You’ll hear people using the terms discharge and separation while in the
military, and they both mean the same thing. For the purpose of this chapter,
we stick with the term separation.

Administrative separation
Administrative separations can be voluntary or involuntary. Examples of
authorized reasons for a voluntary separation include a separation at
the end of a commitment of service or early release for the following reasons:
 Further education
 Accept public office
 Hardship
 Pregnancy or childbirth
 Conscientious objection
 Immediate reenlistment
 Acceptance of another commission
 Becoming the sole surviving member of your family
All administrative discharges take into account the servicemember’s conduct
and performance to characterize the discharge status. Separation characterizations include:
 Honorable: Completely meets the standard of conduct and performance
expected.
• Eligible for all veteran’s benefits

Chapter 20: Separating from Service
 General (Under Honorable Conditions): A general discharge is not the
same level as an honorable discharge. It means that the servicemember
messed up, but their conduct wasn’t serious enough to warrant the most
severe or administrative discharge.
• Not eligible for the GI Bill unless they have more than one term
of service and have an honorable discharge from that term
• Normally not allowed to reenlist
• Other restrictions may include eligibility for hire by veterans’
service organizations and eligibility for programs like the SBA
Patriot Express Loan
• Most other benefits, such as healthcare and VA Home Loans, are
available
 Under Other Than Honorable Conditions (OTH): This separation is the
worst form of administrative separation. The servicemember did not
meet the expected conduct and/or performance required of military
members. Members discharged under OTH characterization of service:
• Are not entitled to keep their uniforms
• Must repay any reenlistment bonuses they may have received
• Will not receive transportation assistance upon discharge
• Likely will be ineligible for all VA benefits (however, the VA will
make its own determination)
 Entry Level Separation (ELS): A servicemember with less than 180
days of service may be discharged under the characterization of Entry
Level Separation because the commander hasn’t had enough time to
adequately measure a person’s conduct and performance — he isn’t
able to award Honorable, General, or OTH.
• Not eligible for any veteran’s benefits
• Not allowed to reenlist

Punitive discharge
Punitive discharges are authorized punishments of a court-martial. This
is not the way to separate from service. The two types of punitive
discharges include:
 Dishonorable discharge
• The worst characterization possible
• Not entitled to any benefits
 Bad-conduct discharge
• Not entitled to any benefits

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Considering Early Career Separation
Leaving military service after fulfilling his initial commitment enables your
veteran to balance his desire to serve our country with his objectives to
pursue a civilian career and lifestyle. He has earned valuable benefits that
continue long past his military service, such as the Montgomery GI Bill,
access to the discounts available through the exchanges, and the VA home
loan. And his military experience can also be an outstanding launching pad
into a civilian career.
However, from a financial standpoint, military service continues to become
more valuable with time (see Figure 20-1 for a comparison). As your servicemember achieves higher rank, he receives more pay and possibly additional
benefits. You have the opportunity to save more money — letting the
government subsidize your food, clothing, housing, and travel expenses. And
the benefits of retiring with military retired pay are unmatched!

2008 Monthly BAH With Dependents (NT)
2008 MBP

2008
BAS (NT)

Atlanta

Houston

Washington DC

E-4 (over 4)

$2,048

$294

$1,107

$1,211

$1,718

E-7 (Over 12)

$3,443

$294

$1,377

$1,669

$2,167

O-3 (Over 4)

$4,546

$203

$1,509

$2,003

$2,357

O-5 (Over 20)

$7,212

$203

$1,823

$2,210

$2,745

Rank

Equivilent Civilian Salary Required to Replace Military Compensation

Figure 20-1:
Equivalent
salary
comparison.

Rank

Atlanta

Houston

Washington DC

E-4 (over 4)

$44,355

$45,823

$52,981

E-7 (Over 12)

$64,904

$69,452

$76,060

O-3 (Over 4)

$81,944

$89,848

$95,512

O-5 (Over 20)

$118,969

$125,152

$133,712

Notes:
(1) This example includes only the three basic components of military compensation: monthly base pay, BAS and BAH
(2) It assumes a 15 percent tax bracket for enlisted ranks and a 25 percent tax bracket for officer ranks
(3) A separating (not retiring) servicemember would need to add another $3,000 (if single) or $7,000 (if married, with
dependents) to cover medical costs

Chapter 20: Separating from Service
Keep in mind that separating from service is one of the most important and
difficult decisions your spouse will make. The civilian lifestyle is so different
from the community and lifestyle you experience in the service. There will be
significant adjustment for all members of your family upon separation. And
returning to the military job your servicemember had prior to separation
may not be an option if he later changes his mind.
Leaving the military is a major change for you and your servicemember. Plan
ahead. Consult with your transition counselors and work together.

Exploring Late Career Separation Issues
Transitioning from the military later in your spouse’s career but before
retirement is even more significant of a decision than early career separation.
Your family has experienced a lot of the benefits of a military career,
including travel, community, vocational training, and possibly completion
of a college or advanced degree. But now you want to experience other
things. The two of you may grow tired of being apart so frequently, having
your partner miss out on major events in your children’s lives, or putting
your personal aspirations on the back burner to support your servicemember’s career.
Leaving the service after several years but prior to retirement must be
carefully evaluated. Your family is foregoing substantial military retirement
pay, retiree healthcare, and many other financial benefits to make the
transition prior to 20 years of service.
To illustrate the financial impact of walking away from your military
retirement pay, review the example in Table 20-1.

Table 20-1

Cost of Lost Retirement Pay Benefit

Subject

Pre-retirement
Separation

Military Retirement

Years of Service at Transition

13

20

Age at Transition

32

39

Rank at Transition

E-6

E-7

Annual base pay

$37,260

$46,145

Military Retirement Benefit

$0

$23,072

Age at Mortality

84

84

Cost of Living Adjustment on
Military Retirement Pay

n/a

3%/year

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The estimated total missed opportunity value of military retirement pay is
over $565,000. If you factor the opportunity value of seven additional years
of service, which is required to qualify for the 50 percent retirement benefit,
that comes out to over $90,000 per year.
Now when you consider career opportunities in the civilian workplace, keep
in mind how much more money your family would have to earn each year to
equal the value of your lost military retirement benefit.
Sometimes the transition is worth it for your family, your servicemember,
and your personal objectives. But keep in mind the benefit you’re walking
away from. This example only illustrates the financial impact of your military
retirement pay. We haven’t even taken into account other military retiree
benefits. But, you get the idea.
Seven years may seem like forever. But when you’re 45 or 75, enjoying that
monthly military retirement paycheck coming in like clockwork, you’ll likely
not regret your continued service.
Late career transitions from the military are difficult decisions to make.
Although the most important things in life aren’t financial, the financial
implications of your separation decision should be thoroughly
considered.

Chapter 21

Retiring from Service
In This Chapter

 Exploring military retirement benefits

 Planning your transition

 Evaluating your needs for additional income

A

momentous occasion is drawing near — you and your spouse are
considering military retirement. Military service has been your way
of life for years. Significant, wonderful, and scary changes are just around
the corner. Are you ready? In this chapter, we make sure that you are. We
discuss essential pre-transition planning strategies and considerations and
how these affect your family from the financial as well as the more personal
perspectives.

Assessing the Financial Benefits
of Retiring from the Military
Many of the benefits you know and love about military service continue on
in some capacity even after retirement. These benefits include discounts
through the commissaries and exchanges, legal assistance, Space-A travel,
military lodging, and much more. In the following sections we highlight many
of these “other” benefits, but focus our attention on the most significant
financial benefits of military retirement — your retirement and medical
benefits.

Military retired pay
If compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world, a retirement
paycheck that keeps up with inflation and that is guaranteed for the rest
of your life has got to be the ninth wonder of the world!

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Part V: Transitioning Out of the Military
If your spouse entered service after August 1986, upon serving 15 years he
will be — or already has been — offered the opportunity to choose from one
of two different retirement plans. If you’ve already passed the 15-year mark,
you’ve already made your election, by default or by choice.
 Default = High 36 Retirement System
 Choice = Career Status Bonus/REDUX System
If you’ve not made your decision about retirement plans, it is absolutely critical that you fully explore the pros and cons of both plans. Making the wrong
decision could cost you a small fortune over the course of your retirement.
The basic pay that is used to calculate retirement benefits for members who
entered service prior to September 8, 1980, is the final basic pay, rather than
the average of the highest 36 months of basic pay.
Table 21-1 illustrates the major features of the two retirement plans. Under
both plans the base pay used for the computation is the average of your
highest 36 months of base pay. This base pay will likely come from your most
recent three years.

Table 21-1

High 36 versus CSB/REDUX

Feature

High 36

CSB/REDUX

Eligible
earnings

Avg. highest 36 monthly base
pays

Same

Multiplier

2.5 percent per year of service

2.0 percent per year of service for the first 20 years,
then 3.5 percent per year

(minimum = 50 percent at 20
years; maximum = 75 percent
at 30 years)

Cost-of-living
adjustment

Consumer Price Index (CPI)

(minimum = 40 percent at 20
years; maximum = 75 percent
at 30 years)
CPI minus 1 percent

CSB/REDUX
Based on Table 21-1 you’re probably wondering why anyone would choose
CSB/REDUX. Retiring with 20 years of service, you only get 40 percent of your
base pay, versus 50 percent with the other plan, and you don’t receive the
full cost-of-living adjustment each year. So why would anyone choose CSB/
REDUX? The answer — cash! A big chunk of immediate cash! $30,000 before
tax to be exact — paid to you in year 15! Why put off ’til tomorrow what you
can have today?

Chapter 21: Retiring from Service
Take the cash! It’ll save the government a lot of money if they can “buy” you
out of your higher retirement benefit. But wait — you’re supposed to choose
the retirement plan that is going to be best for you and your family. It’s not
likely CSB/REDUX!
You may see comparisons that illustrate if you take your CBS/REDUX cash
bonus and invest it successfully you can actually come out about the same as
with the High 36 retirement plan. But, why take the risk involved in investing?
And besides, experience tells us that you’re much more likely to spend that
bonus money! And if you do — you’re trading over $200,000 in retirement
income for the price of a used Chevy.
Okay, okay, enough CBS/REDUX bashing. Let’s discuss a legitimate reason
why taking the Career Status Bonus might be in your best interest:
 You haven’t saved a dime and you have the opportunity to buy your
dream home. . . . Never mind — you can get a VA loan! You don’t need
CBS/REDUX for the down payment.
 You have a healthcare emergency. . . . That doesn’t fly either. You have
healthcare provided by the military.
 You use the money to obtain an advanced degree. This idea isn’t a
horrible one, it’s just not necessary. Use your military benefits and
government student loans if necessary. That’ll be a better return on
your investment.
 You have the opportunity to buy a business that is sure to make you a
substantial amount of money that will more than offset the reduction in
your retirement benefits. This reason sounds like a viable one. Maybe
the CSB/REDUX cash benefit might be your better option. Whew . . . it
took awhile, but we mustered up a potentially legitimate reason.

High 36 Retirement System
If you didn’t elect the CSB/REDUX at your servicemember’s 15-year anniversary, you’re in the High 36 Retirement System. For most military families, that
is the best option by far.
With the High 36 plan you’ll receive 50 percent of the average of the
highest 36 months of basic pay if your member elects to retire after 20 years
of service. You receive an additional 2.5 percent per year for each year of
service after 20, until you max out at a retirement benefit equal to 75 percent
of your servicemember’s base pay at 30 years of service.
You and your spouse are in your late 30s to early 50s and will receive a
guaranteed paycheck for the rest of your servicemember’s life, and it has
a cost-of-living adjustment. This type of early retirement benefit, with the
U.S. Government guarantee and inflation protection, can’t be matched.

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Most servicemembers transition from a career in the military to a subsequent
career. With a military retirement equaling 50 to 75 percent of your base
pay, your options for the next chapter of your life are virtually limitless.
Speaking of the next chapter, in the next chapter of this book we delve into
subsequent careers.

Survivor Benefit Plan
The above section on military retirement benefits applies while your servicemember or veteran is living. In the event that your spouse predeceases you,
the Survivor Benefit Plan (SBP) is available to insure that you will continue
to receive military retirement benefits for the rest of your life. Without SBP,
military retirement income stops when your veteran dies. With SBP you can
continue to receive 55 percent of your spouse’s military retirement benefits,
adjusted annually for inflation, for the rest of your life.
While your spouse is on active duty, you’re automatically protected under
SBP at no cost to your family. Upon retirement, full basic SBP takes effect
automatically, unless you elect a lower benefit or choose to opt out of the
plan altogether. Your spouse can’t reduce your benefit or opt out without
your written consent.
At retirement you must pay premiums for SBP coverage. The premiums are
withheld directly from your military retirement pay — before tax — which
means Uncle Sam is also subsidizing the cost of your SBP premium. You
may elect the amount of benefit you want up to 55 percent of your spouse’s
military retirement benefits. SBP premiums for spouse coverage are 6.5
percent of your chosen base amount.
For more information and to calculate your SBP premium, visit www.
defenselink.mil/militarypay/survivor/sbp/index.html.
The government subsidizes the cost of coverage, so it’s highly unlikely that
you’d be able to purchase commercial life insurance that is truly comparable
and more cost effective then SBP. On the surface the premiums might appear
comparable; however, commercial life insurance policies:
 Are not guaranteed by the U.S. Government
 Are not a stream of income you can never outlive
 Rarely increase the benefit to keep pace with inflation
The concept of keeping pace with inflation may not sound like a big deal
right now. But imagine your financial life if your spouse died shortly after
retirement, or even in his eighties. With SBP you could receive cost-of-living
adjusted monthly payments for decades. Table 21-2 illustrates the significance of cost-of-living adjustments (COLA) on your initial monthly benefit.

Chapter 21: Retiring from Service

Table 21-2

Value of 4 percent COLA on SBP benefits

Monthly Benefit

Benefit Period

Total of
Payments

Value

$1,000

10 years

$147,000

$99,000

$1,000

25 years

$514,000

$189,000

$1,000

50 years

$1,909,000

$259,000

$1,500

10 years

$221,000

$148,000

$1,500

25 years

$771,000

$248,000

$1,500

50 years

$2,800,000

$380,000

$2,500

10 years

$368,000

$247,000

$2,500

25 years

$1,285,000

$947,000

$2,500

50 years

$4,773,000

$1,296,000

The “Value” column in Table 21-2 illustrates the amount of cash or life insurance proceeds that you would need to have at the time of your spouse’s
death to replace the benefit you could have received with the SBP plan. In
some of these scenarios, buying life insurance looks like it could be a cheaper
alternative than paying for the SBP premiums. The clincher is you’ve got to
know exactly when you and your spouse are going to die to make sure that
strategy would work.
Effective October 1, 2008, your SBP premiums are considered “paid-up” after
30 years and no additional premium payments are required, but you maintain
coverage indefinitely. Contact your personnel counselor for details.

Medical Benefits
The other major financial benefit of military retirement is lifetime medical
care. Most civilians are restricted in the types of jobs they can consider
due to their need for quality medical insurance. And many civilians continue
working well into their traditional retirement years, merely because they
fear that healthcare costs could derail their financial security. Their fears
are not unfounded. However, you and your veteran should not be limited
by these concerns. We tell you in the following sections just what kind
of healthcare benefits you can look forward to as well as how to make the
most of those benefits.

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Checking out your healthcare benefits
All the retired servicemembers, their spouses, and their dependents are
eligible for TRICARE healthcare benefits. While your servicemember is under
age 65, you must decide which TRICARE program is best for you and your
eligible family members.
Don’t forget to update your information in DEERS prior to retirement. Refer to
Chapter 3 for details.
If your veteran is disabled, entitled to Medicare Part A, and enrolled in
Medicare Part B, you are eligible for TRICARE for Life, rather than TRICARE
Standard or Extra. However, you may prefer to keep coverage through
TRICARE Prime to retain priority status at your Military Treatment Facility.
(Refer to Chapter 6 for the specific details on TRICARE Prime, Standard, and
Extra to determine which plan might be best for your family.)
For more information about TRICARE for Life, check out www.military.
com/benefits/tricare/tricare-for-life/tricare-for-lifeand-dual-eligibility#8 or get a copy of Veteran’s Benefits For Dummies
(Wiley). For information on all TRICARE benefits, visit www.tricare.mil.
As the spouse of a military retiree, you and your dependent children are
eligible for the TRICARE healthcare plans, pharmacy program, and dental
health plans. These benefits alone are worth hundreds if not thousands
of dollars each year.

Making the most of your
military retiree benefits
Getting the most financial and personal benefit out of your military career
involves a little ongoing effort on your part. In this chapter we highlight your
military retiree benefits. Don’t forget about all the benefits you’ve earned
over the years. Keep informed and up to date by staying involved with
your local military community, online groups and Web sites, and political
organizations. See Chapter 14 for more information.
To maximize your retiree benefits you should plan ahead. If possible, start
planning your transition 12 to 24 months prior to retirement. Your local
installation has transition counselors available to answer questions and direct
you to the resources you need.

Chapter 21: Retiring from Service

Envisioning Life after the Military
You’ve spent most of your adulthood living wherever the military sent you.
Moving is part of military life. But making the move from military to civilian
life may be the most challenging transition yet. Your community, friends,
coworkers, and neighbors are currently in the military or a part of the bigger
military family.
Where you live after leaving the service will have a major impact on your
lifestyle and your transition. You may want to relocate back to one of the
areas where you were once stationed, or maybe a location you’ve visited on
one of your Space-A adventures. Many families opt to live near a military
installation for easy access to the exchanges, the Military Treatment Facility,
and many of the other benefits available to retirees. But, it’s much more than
discounts on groceries and easy access to the MTF. It’s the community —
people with whom you share common experiences, patriotism, and esprit
de corps.

Adjusting to the civilian world
It’s going to be different, but maintaining connections with your active-duty
and retired military friends will help immensely in your transition. Get
involved with your civilian community just as you have each time you
relocated to a new duty station. After all, you’re an expert at transitions.
However, your servicemember may face more challenges. His job with the
military is very well defined. He knows what to do, how to do it, when to do
it, and to whom to report. There are systems and processes for everything.
Your spouse may go bonkers with the lack of discipline, accountability, and
just plain sloppiness frequently exhibited in our civilian workforce. Plus, for
years he has been treated with respect and is known by his uniform and rank.
Imagine how tough it may be when he is no longer referred to as Lieutenant
Colonel Garrett Hoppin, but rather as “hey, mister.”
Adjusting to significant change takes time, sometimes assistance, and often a
village. Discuss any adjustment questions and concerns you have with your
Transitions Counselor. You’re not the first or only folks to go through this —
it’s normal. Surround yourselves with those you love and trust. Possibly the
best village for you and your spouse is a military community. Stay connected
physically and virtually as much as possible. Refer to Chapters 14 and 17 for
additional resources to help you stay connected.

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Evaluating your need for additional
retirement savings
To determine if you need to save more — or how much more — answer the
question, “How much money do we need to support our retirement lifestyle?”
A quick method for answering this question follows:
1. Start with your total current income (after-tax).
2. Add the amount of money you withdraw from your bank accounts or
that you charge to credit cards to make ends meet each month.
3. Subtract the amount of long-term savings you are currently socking
away each month. Include amounts that you’re applying as additional
debt repayments.
4. Subtract the costs of expenses that you won’t have in retirement.
• Savings for retirement
• Mortgage payment
• Job-related expenses
• Child(ren) expenses
5. Add costs of new expenses that you will have in retirement.
• Relocating/housing
• Traveling
• Hobbies and leisure activities
6. Total these items to arrive at the approximate amount of after-tax
money you need to live on in retirement.
Most retirees discover that they need 70 to 100 percent of what they are
currently bringing in to enjoy their planned retirement lifestyle.
With your military retirement benefit replacing 50 to 75 percent of your base
pay and Social Security providing another 20 to 30 percent of your income,
you may find that you’re in pretty good shape heading in to ultimate
retirement.
If your servicemember served on active duty prior to 2001, there is a littleknown extra earning credit available from the Social Security Administration.
But you have to know to ask for it when you apply for your Social Security
benefits! You’ll need your DD Form 214 when applying.

Chapter 21: Retiring from Service
This earnings credit adds up to $1,200 per year to your creditable earnings
that count toward your Social Security benefits. This amount is not chump
change — it will amount to potentially tens of thousands of dollars in
additional Social Security retirement benefits over your lifetime!
For more information, visit www.socialsecurity.gov/retire2/
military.htm.

Supplementing your retirement income
Even with your military retirement benefit and Social Security, you’ll likely
desire additional cash flow to help you maintain your standard of living.
Table 21-3 illustrates the amount of money you’ll need to produce the
cash flow to supplement your military retirement benefit and Social
Security income.

Table 21-3

Capital Needed to Produce Monthly
Retirement Income

Income Desired

Capital Needed

$500/month

$150,000

$1,000/month

$300,000

$2,000/month

$600,000

For each $1,000 per month in retirement income, you need to save at least
this amount each month until age 65.
Current
Age

Savings per
Month

40

$315

45

$509

50

$867

55

$1,650

Strategizing the best ways to
save for ultimate retirement
Given that you have guaranteed income for life, which has a cost-of-living
adjustment for both of you (by securing SBP), and Social Security as well,

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the balance of your retirement nest egg could be invested for two primary
purposes: first, for liquidity, and second, for growth.
Guaranteed streams of income are wonderful because you can never outlive
that income. However, occasionally you’ll find that you need a lump sum of
money to replace a vehicle or make a repair on your home. You should have
a readily accessible, cash reserve account (your liquid account) from which
you can withdraw this money when it’s needed. The Orange Savings account
with ING Direct is a great option for this type of cash reserve account. There
is no minimum deposit or balance required to open and maintain an account.
The account is FDIC insured and pays a very competitive interest rate. For
more information, visit www.INGDirect.com.
All of your military retirement income is taxable. The majority of your Social
Security income will likely be taxable. To balance that out, the best way to
save additionally for ultimate retirement is in a Roth IRA or Roth 401(k) plan.
These retirement savings vehicles are the only ones that allow you to invest
money in stocks, exchange-traded funds, and low-cost, no-commission
mutual funds and never pay any tax on the earnings while they accumulate in
the accounts and most importantly on the withdrawals you make during
retirement. Although you don’t get a tax deduction for contributing money to
a Roth IRA or Roth 401(k), the earnings grow tax-deferred and all withdrawals
from Roth accounts during retirement are 100 percent tax free!
If you don’t make more than $159,000 for 2008, you can contribute to a Roth
IRA account. You and your spouse can contribute up to $5,000 each in 2008.
(Consult your tax professional for contribution amounts for years beyond
2008.) Invest your Roth IRA accounts with a low-cost, no-commission mutual
fund company or discount broker. For additional tips on how to select the
investments best for you, check out Mutual Funds For Dummies (Wiley).

Chapter 22

Exploring Subsequent Careers
In This Chapter

 Preparing to reinvent yourself

 Considering what you want from your next career

 Accessing the help you need

 Coordinating your military and civilian benefits

I

t makes little difference whether your spouse is retiring or separating
from service. Nearly all veterans go on to subsequent careers after leaving
the military. In this chapter we highlight the issues you and your spouse
should consider and direct you to resources that can make this new chapter
of your lives most rewarding.

Transitioning from the Military
Planning this transition a year or more in advance will help position your
servicemember for the best and most appropriate outcome. Spend time
exploring with your spouse what he will enjoy most for the next chapter of
his working life. Through this process you’ll discover his most passionate
interests as he learns to translate his military experience and skills in the
civilian world.

Planning for your next career
With time on your side and the right tools and guidance, your servicemember
will transition into his new civilian job with confidence and enthusiasm.
Career planning involves
 Assessing interests, preferences, skills, and strengths
 Addressing challenges or perceived shortcomings

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 Organizing military records
• DD Form 2586 — Verification of Military Experience and Training
• Security Clearance
• Awards and commendations
 Obtaining proof of additional education
• College transcripts and diplomas
• Certificates and licenses
 Drafting resumes
 Securing references and letters of recommendation
After this groundwork, the job search can begin!

Assessing interests, preferences, skills, and strengths
Don’t waste energy pursuing careers that you and your servicemember
won’t love. Invest time exploring the things that really matter to both of you.
Address these questions separately and discuss them with your spouse:
 What are you passionate about? Interests and passions evolve over
time. That’s normal and expected. This is your opportunity to reinvent
yourselves — so follow your passions.
 Does he prefer working with people, data and information, or things,
machines, and equipment?
 Would he prefer a desk job in a traditional office environment, freelancing and working from home, or being outdoors and possibly traveling?
 How important is structure and routine in your partner’s work life? Or
do his passions lean more toward creative endeavors?
 Are you willing or do you want to relocate?
Military servicemembers have innate and acquired skills and strengths
that are extremely desirable to civilian employers, including discipline,
drive, appreciation for structure and procedures, ability to work well under
pressure, strategic thinking, ability to work with or lead a team, and so on.
In addition to the characteristics listed above, your servicemember also
offers prior work experience and education, involvement in volunteer
activities, and hobbies.
One of the toughest parts of transitioning to civilian life is converting experiences and training acquired through military service into words that civilians
can relate to. Acronyms, military job codes, and titles don’t compute. And
you don’t want your spouse to be perceived as someone who can’t transition
from the military way to a potential employer’s culture. Military experiences
and skills do translate into the civilian job market. It’s mostly just a language

Chapter 22: Exploring Subsequent Careers
barrier. You can help your spouse convert his military service history into a
resume and language that all employers can comprehend. Military speak may
be your first language at home, but get used to speaking without acronyms
and jargon outside military circles.
A great resource for translating military job titles into civilian job titles can
be found at www.military.com/Careers/Content?file=skills_
leader.htm&area=Content.
Career assessment tools are available through local community colleges,
the transitions office on your installation, and a number of online resources.
Check out the career assessment tools at www.quintcareers.com/
career_assessment.html.

Preparing for this transition
Just as you’ve come to expect, the military has processes and procedures
for everything, including transitioning from service into a subsequent career.
The best place to start your preparation is at the official Web site for the
Transition Assistance Program: www.TurboTAP.org. You’ll find a downloadable pre-separation guide for active-duty members and a transition guide for
Guard and Reserve members. The guides are extremely thorough and they
provide a great place to begin educating yourselves while providing structure
to the process.
All transitioning servicemembers are required by law to receive preseparation counseling to explain rights and benefits. Schedule your counseling meeting with your installation’s personnel office or transition program
manager at least six months prior to transition.
At this meeting, your servicemember will be given DD Form 2648, which must
be completed prior to separation. DD Form 2648 — Pre-Separation Counseling
Checklist — covers adjustments, education and training services, benefit
programs, other assistance available, and your individual transition plan.
You can get more specific details of what’s involved at the TAP Web site
under www.transitionassistanceprogram.com/portal/transition/
resources/Active_Duty_Presep_Guide.

Tapping into military and
community benefits
The Transition Assistance Program (TAP) is much more than just the
Web site mentioned above. TAP is available to assist separating and retiring
servicemembers with job-search and related services during and up to
180 days following transition.

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TAP also provides comprehensive three-day workshops at selected military
installations around the country. Participants learn about current job market
conditions, career decision-making, job searches, and presentation skills
for their resume and interviews. You can also receive an evaluation of your
servicemember’s employability relative to the job market.
Transition Assistance Online is an outstanding resource (www.taonline.
com/ticpages/). The program covers everything from how to cope with
the stress of transitioning to how to respond to illegal employment interview
questions. Get involved with TAP as soon as you know that a transition
is imminent.
You can obtain a copy of the Transition Assistance Program manuals
online at transition.military.com/reg/transition_center_
registration.do.
Transition assistance counselors on your installation stand ready, willing, and
able to help with any of your questions related to transitioning. They can be
one of your, if not your best, resources.
In addition to the Web sites already listed in this chapter, there are hundreds
more that provide information to servicemembers, veterans, and their
families about transitioning, resume writing, interviewing skills, job searches,
and career fairs. The following is a selection of some the best:
 CareerOneStop: www.careeronestop.org
 COOL (Credentialing Opportunities On-Line): www.cool.army.mil and
http://www.cool.navy.mil
 Department of Defense, Operation Transition Bulletin Board: www.
dmdc.osd.mil/ot
 Military.com, Transition Center: transition.military.com/reg/
transition_center_registration.do
 Military Hire: www.militaryhire.com
 Military Job Zone: www.militaryjobzone.com
 Military Officers Association of America, Career Fairs: www.moaa.org
 Monster.com: www.monster.com (Search with key word military to find
employers specifically looking for military experience.)
 National Hire Veterans committee: www.hirevetsfirst.gov
 Non-Commissioned Officers Association: www.ncoausa.org/
Enployment_VeteransEmployPG.html
 RecruitMilitary.com: www.recruitmilitary.com
 Transition Assistance Program official site: www.TubroTAP.org
 Transition Assistance Online: www.taonline.com

Chapter 22: Exploring Subsequent Careers
 U.S. Government’s official job site: www.USAJobs.com
 Vets4Hire: www.destinygrp.com/destiny/index.jsp?cm_
mmc=redirect-_-vets4hire-_-na-_-na
 VetJobs.com: www.vetjobs.com
Check out section 3.3 of your TAP Participant Manual for great insights into
how best to approach the job search process.
Too many people focus their job search primarily on want ads in the
newspaper or on Internet postings. However, studies show that 80 percent
of all jobs are filled without employer advertising. The number one way
people find jobs is through networking. The TAP program provides information and resources that you can put to work immediately. In addition to the
TAP resources and coaching, augment your job search with some of the
online resources listed above.

Evaluating Employer Benefits
There are many similarities to military and civilian employer-provided
benefits — presuming the civilian employer has benefits. In this section we
compare and contrast civilian benefits with the military benefit programs
with which you’re familiar, and discuss how your civilian benefits will best
coordinate with your military benefits. The overriding principle is to get
you the best benefit coverage for the least amount of money. Sometimes you
have to sacrifice some features to save money. Some features you can’t
afford to sacrifice. With the guidance provided in this section, you will have
the information necessary to make those decisions that will best suit your
family’s needs and circumstances.
Fortunately, civilian benefits aren’t typically as involved as your military
benefits largely because you’re just not going to run into that many types
of employer-provided benefits in the civilian workplace. And those that are
provided often have a cousin in the military. The following sections describe
the most frequent civilian benefits used today. That doesn’t mean that all
employers offer these plans, but if they do, you’ll have a better idea of what
they mean to you.

Medical insurance
You likely have TRICARE Prime, Extra, or Standard coverage currently and
you may be very familiar with these plans — at least the one your family is
enrolled in.

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TRICARE primary care plans:
 TRICARE Standard provides you with the greatest flexibility to choose
healthcare providers, without a referral or pre-authorization, but
it also costs the most. It is available worldwide. If you go out and buy
healthcare insurance — and money is no object — this plan is for you.
 TRICARE Extra is more restrictive and less expensive. You pay the
same annual deductible as those with Standard; however, your share
of medical costs is 5 percent less. This plan is only available in the
continental United States (CONUS). This is the military equivalent to a
Preferred Provider Organization (PPO).
 TRICARE Prime is like a Health Maintenance Organization (HMO) and is
geared toward preventative care. It is the least expensive option, but
your choice of healthcare providers is limited. You pay nothing — or
very little — under most circumstances.
Most civilian employers provide healthcare coverage to their employees.
Larger companies are more likely to provide health insurance benefits.
Those employers who do offer health insurance usually offer an HMO or PPO
plan. These plans offer you no choice. On the other hand, with military
healthcare you have to choose which plan is best for your family. The very
large employers, and a few smaller companies, may give you the choice
between an HMO or a PPO plan.
Unlike working for one of the Armed Forces, in the civilian world your spouse
will be fortunate to find an employer that will pay for all of his health insurance, let alone the cost for your family’s insurance.
Don’t forget to factor this cost into your “after-transition” budget. Guess $250
per month for family coverage, unless you have actual details from your
spouse’s new employer. Also, be sure to add the cost of co-pays for each
doctor visit. Using TRICARE Prime at the MTF is lookin’ sweeter all the time.
A new job where your family has to pay for health insurance can cost you
thousands of dollars a year. Think about that when considering any job offer.
The employer typically pays all or the majority of the premium cost for
employees. However, they generally do not pay much, if anything, toward the
cost of your family’s health insurance coverage.
As a veteran, you and your eligible family members may utilize your Military
Treatment Facility if you elect to retain coverage through TRICARE Prime.
Retaining your coverage could substantially reduce your healthcare costs if
your new employer doesn’t provide health insurance at all or doesn’t pay for
family coverage.

Chapter 22: Exploring Subsequent Careers

Prescription drug coverage
If your veteran’s new employer provides health insurance, he or she generally will provide some type of prescription drug benefit. But that doesn’t
mean the prescriptions are necessarily free or even cheap. Depending on the
drug you’re taking, your co-pay may be a $4 to $20 order at best, or your
prescription might not even be covered under your health insurance plan.
These benefits vary greatly from plan to plan, so we can’t really guess what
type of plan or benefits may be available to your family through a civilian
employer’s plan.

Dental insurance
Dental insurance is a far less common employee benefit than medical insurance. Many employers will make the group insurance plan available to your
family. However, you have to pay all of the premiums. On the other hand,
some employers do pay for the cost of dental insurance for the employee
only, your spouse, but not for your family. If you want family coverage that
can be purchased through the employer’s group plan, you have to pay all of
the cost. Coverage may run your family about $35 per month.
Most dental insurance plans provide you with two cleanings and one set of
bite-wing x-rays per year at no cost. Commonly, they also pay up to $75 for
annual check-ups and half of most everything else, up to $1,000 per year.
Check your plan for specific details. Some dental insurance plans can really
be worth the cost for a family with kids with lots of cavities and a spouse who
likes to play ice hockey.
Insurance should be purchased to cover risks that you can’t afford to take on
yourselves. Dental coverage doesn’t usually fall into that category.

Vision benefits
Employer-provided vision benefits are even less common than dental
benefits and are likely less important to you and your family. Many vision
plans cost your family a few dollars per month, and for that cost you receive
one eye exam per year and maybe discounts off glasses or contact lens.
This insurance is probably not worth the money.

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Disability insurance — short term
and long term
If you or your spouse became ill or injured and can’t work or take care
of your responsibilities to your family for a few weeks or much longer,
what would you do? Hopefully you’ve got some savings in a cash reserve
account — see Chapter 8. But, sooner or later even your cash reserves
may run dry.
Disability income protection, also known as disability insurance, pays 60 to
70 percent of your salary if you can’t work for a prolonged period of time.
This protection is one of the most important types of insurance for the wage
earners in the household. However, you only need disability insurance if
you need that income. Now we’re talking risk that most likely you can’t afford
to bear:
 Short-term disability: provides income replacement coverage if you
become ill or injured and unable to work for more than seven days
but less than six months. Frequently employers do not provide
short-term disability insurance to their employees. We recommend
that you self-insure — plan to use your cash reserve for additional
income needed during this period of time.
 Long-term disability: provides income replacement coverage if you
become ill or injured and unable to work for more than six months.
Coverage ends at the later of age 65 or five years of disability.
If you and your spouse are dependent on both incomes, you both should
have disability insurance. If your employer doesn’t provide coverage as part
of their employee benefit package, purchase commercial disability insurance
coverage yourselves. Check out Personal Finance Workbook For Dummies
(Wiley) for guidance on what to look for in a policy and where to find
competitive coverage.

Long-term care insurance
You might think of long-term care insurance as really long-term disability
insurance. Long-term care insurance pays for the healthcare that you may
need at a nursing center or for professional healthcare in your home. It
doesn’t pay for hospitalization or doctor visits. Those expenses should be
covered under your medical insurance. However, if you or your spouse
develop a degenerative neurological disease or receive a spinal cord injury,
long-term care insurance will pay for care in a nursing institution or possibly
in your own home.

Chapter 22: Exploring Subsequent Careers
Most employers do not yet offer long-term care insurance to their employees.
However, the federal government is a major employer of veterans, and
long-term care insurance is a federal government employee benefit.
Consult Veteran’s Benefits For Dummies (Wiley) for more information on your
benefits available through the VA.

Life insurance
Life insurance is another one of those types of insurance that your family
can’t afford to be without. Don’t skimp in this area. Coverage for fairly young,
fairly healthy people is inexpensive. Having enough life insurance if the
unthinkable occurs is invaluable!
Servicemembers Group Life Insurance (SGLI) is available to all active-duty
servicemembers and members of the Guard and Reserve. Your servicemember is automatically covered for $400,000 of death benefits. One of
the major benefits of SGLI is the fact that servicemembers can convert to
Veteran’s Group Life Insurance (VGLI) — with no medical underwriting —
upon transitioning from the military.
If your servicemember has health concerns upon transitioning from the
military, this VGLI conversion benefit is a major deal! However, if your
servicemember is healthy, they very likely he can obtain more cost-effective
life insurance through other insurance companies.
Also, conversion from SGLI to VGLI must take place within 120 days of service
if you want to avoid medical qualification!
Check out the following military friendly and very competitive life insurance
companies:
 www.AFBA.com
 www.AAFMAA.com (Army and Air Force)
 www.navymutual.org (Navy and Marines)
 www.MOAA.org (officers)
 www.USAA.com
 www.USBA.com
While your new civilian employer may provide some life insurance benefit as
part of your employee benefit package, the amount of death benefit is usually
the lesser of one times your annual salary or $50,000.

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You might have the option to purchase additional life insurance through
your employer; however, most often you will be better off purchasing your
life insurance directly from a commercial life insurance company. The cost
is extremely competitive, and if you change jobs, you can’t lose your life
insurance. Plus, you probably need significantly more life insurance
than your employer may provide. See Chapter 8 for help in calculating
how much life insurance you need. Add this additional expense to your
post-transition budget.

Retirement plans
Most civilian employers of any size offer their employees the opportunity to
participate in a 401(k) plan or possibly a 403(b) plan. Both plans are very
similar. You’ll most likely have a 401(k) plan, so we focus our attention on
the features and benefits of this type of retirement savings plan.
First of all, your military Thrift Savings Plan (TSP) is a 401(k) plan. All the
money that you have withdrawn from your paycheck and invested in your
TSP or any other 401(k) plan is a tax-deductible contribution. In other words,
you don’t have to pay income taxes on the wages that you direct to your
401(k) plan instead of receiving those wages in your net paycheck. Also,
the earnings on your retirement account over the years grow tax deferred.
You don’t pay any taxes on money that you put into a 401(k) plan until you
pull that money out. If you’re 59½ years old or older, there is no premature
distribution penalty. However, because you’ve not paid any tax on that
money, 100 percent of the withdrawals from your 401(k) plan in retirement
will be taxed as ordinary income.
The huge difference between your military TSP and a civilian employerprovided 401(k) plan is that your civilian employer may provide a matching
contribution. A matching contribution is frequently equal to 25 to 50 percent
of your contribution percentage up to a certain maximum each year. For
example, your employer matches 50 percent of your contribution, up to a
maximum of 6 percent of your salary, you put into your 401(k) plan.
Just for contributing to your own retirement account, you could receive 25 to
50 percent guaranteed return on your contribution — in the form of an
employer-matching contribution. You can’t get that kind of a guarantee on any
other type of retirement plan investment. Don’t walk away from free money. At
a minimum, contribute up to the maximum amount your employer will match
each year.
If your servicemember is retiring from service, you’re likely extremely
familiar with the military retirement benefit. With 20 years of service your
spouse can retire with 50 percent of his basic pay guaranteed for the rest of

Chapter 22: Exploring Subsequent Careers
his life. If he serves for 30 years or more the retirement pay is 75 percent
of his basic pay. This type of retirement plan is known as a defined benefit
plan. See Chapter 21 for more details.
Unfortunately, it is extremely uncommon to find defined benefit pension
plans in the civilian workplace nowadays. A couple of generations ago
pensions were common with large employers; however, most of those
plans have gone away and have been replaced with the 401(k) plan. Many
employers not only provide a matching contribution based on your
participation in the plan, but they may also make profit-sharing contributions
when the company has a particularly good year.
All of the money you contribute to your 401(k) plan is vested immediately. In
other words, it’s yours; you can take it with you if you leave employment.
However, matching contributions and profit-sharing contributions are almost
always tied to a vesting schedule. Commonly you become fully vested in your
employer’s contributions over a period of five years — 20 percent per year.
So, if you don’t plan on staying with an employer long, don’t overestimate the
value for the company’s matching or profit-sharing contribution.

Health savings accounts
You can save up to $3,000 per year in a health savings account through your
employer (if it offers one). Your contribution is tax deductible, the earnings
on your account accumulate on a tax deferred basis, and if you use the
money to pay for qualified medical expenses, no tax is due — ever. If you
don’t need the money or would just prefer to let it accumulate, you can use
this savings to supplement your retirement income. Withdrawals from health
savings accounts for retirement are taxed as ordinary income upon receipt.

Flexible spending plans
Many larger employers offer flexible spending plans, flex-accounts, or Section
125 plans, all just different names for the same thing. You can set aside
money in your flexible spending plan to pay for unreimbursed healthcare
expenses, such as co-pays on office visits, prescription drugs, and even
over-the-counter medications, as well as childcare expenses.
Most plans allow you to withhold up to $5,000 per year before-tax from your
salary for childcare expenses. However, that money can only be used to pay
for childcare from a licensed childcare provider. In other words, you can
pay for childcare pre-tax! This option could save you about $1,000 per year
and is a substantial benefit to families with children in childcare.

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In addition to the money you can sock away for childcare, you can also save
an additional amount, generally about $2,500, for other qualified expenses
such as medical co-pays, dental care, eyeglasses, and so on.
The money you save in your flexible spending account must be used or you
lose it. This account requires thoughtful planning on your part, but if you
know that you’ll be spending a certain amount of money on childcare and/or
healthcare expenses throughout the year, you might as well do so tax-free by
utilizing your flexible spending account.
If you find out you have a little money left over in your account toward the
end of the year, stock up on supplies you use such as contact lens solution,
over-the-counter medication, and so on to make sure you don’t leave any
money on the table.

Paid vacations and holidays
Your servicemember has been on-call throughout his entire military career.
In the civilian world he likely will not be on-call. He won’t receive four weeks
per year leave; rather, it’s typical that he’ll receive only two weeks paid
vacation after one year of service. Many employers require that vacations be
arranged far in advance, and these vacations are normally granted based on
seniority. Often employers prefer, if not require, employees to take one-week
vacations two times each year.
In addition to paid vacations, salaried employees are also paid when the
employer is closed for a national holiday. If your spouse is paid by the hour,
rather than paid a salary, and works on a national holiday, he’ll generally
receive one and a half to two times regular hourly pay.

Overtime
What a concept! If your servicemember takes a job where he is paid hourly,
most employers pay time and a half for all hours in excess of 40 per week.

Education assistance
Some civilian employers provide full or partial reimbursement for
college coursework or certificate programs directly related to your job
or for enabling you to further develop skills that your employer deems
beneficial.

Part VI:

The Part of Tens

E

In this part . . .

very Dummies book includes a Part of Tens section
that consists of chapters of top-ten lists with important information we think you should have. These are of
course our subjective views of the top-ten in each of the
categories. Take them in the spirit they’re offered, a guide
to the ten best and worst within the military community.

Chapter 23

Ten Best Benefits for
Military Spouses
In This Chapter

 Making the most of the free assistance available to you

 Understanding your military benefits will save you money

 Maximizing your opportunities

N

ow that you know everything there is about being a military family,
how about some inside gouge about the real ten best benefits for
military spouses? Okay, so no one’s ever going to be able to agree on the
best benefits out there for spouses, so take this in the spirit in which it’s
offered — our opinion of the best benefits for military spouses.

Travel
With space-available flights at your disposal, you’d be silly not to take advantage of the travel opportunities. Just think about it, given enough time and
flexibility, you can go almost anywhere on a dime. And all this with no luggage restrictions (okay, almost no luggage restrictions). With the airlines
becoming more and more restrictive and air travel becoming
tiresome, this is probably a good time to try military airlift.
Get acquainted with the regulations and the ins and outs of space-a travel
and hit the road, or rather, take to the skies. It’s always an adventure and
sometimes it’s the mishaps that are even more memorable and make for the
best family anecdotes. If you have kids, this is a wonderful experience to
share with them. Get them involved with researching the different locations
and let them have some say in where you go. Remember also that space-a
travel works best when you have more flexibility with your schedule and
have the means to make alternative arrangements in case you’re not able to
catch a return trip back on military aircraft.

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Education and Employment Assistance
If you’re looking to go back to school and finish your degree, or start an
advanced degree, look no further than your installation education office for
a head start. They will know everything from degree programs to financial
assistance available specifically for military spouses and dependents.
Perhaps you’re not interested in going back to school and are looking for
assistance to get back into the workforce, or find your first job. Well, look no
further than the Family Support Center. There you can get assistance with
your résumé and learn about job interviews and negotiating your employee
benefits. Regardless of what stage in life you’re at, the assistance available to
servicemembers and their families is invaluable.

Healthcare
With medical costs skyrocketing out of sight, military healthcare remains
one of the best benefits for currently serving military families, particularly if
you are empanelled at a military treatment facility (MTF). Understanding
your Tricare benefits and making the right choice for your family, in terms of
Prime vs. Standard, ensures that as a military family your low healthcare
costs are among the best in the nation.

Commissary/Exchange
Depending on where you live, shopping at the commissary and exchange can
save you a significant amount of money. With the majority of military families
living off of the installation, it may seem like a pain to make the extra effort
and venture out to the installation to do your shopping, but the savings add
up. On average at the commissary, you can save upwards of 30% from other
grocery stores.
Shopping at the exchange affords you little benefits such as tax free shopping
and the knowledge that all the proceeds go toward MWR funds. If you live in
a cosmopolitan area, you might soon find that these quickly become some of
your best benefits.

Chapter 23: Ten Best Benefits for Military Spouses

Family Support Centers
Wildly underutilized, your installation family support center should always
be on the top of your go-to resources. With counselors on staff who can
speak to every aspect of the military family experience from moves and
transitions to employment counseling, there’s no reason for you to start your
information gathering anywhere else. A fair amount of money is invested in
these centers to be able to provide you all this assistance for free, so take
advantage of it.

Free Professional and Personal
Development
Through the Family Support Centers, you have the opportunity to take any
number of classes and continue to grow professionally and personally. There
are classes on all aspects of financial readiness ranging from balancing a
checkbook to understanding your military and financial benefits. In addition
to the Family Support Center staff, subject matter experts are often brought
in from the outside to augment the class offerings. If you have the time and
are willing to learn, the opportunities are out there for you.

Free Support and Assistance
Remember that in addition to the resources you find on the installation,
there are also other groups and organizations that support you outside of
the military. Be informed about what’s out there. The America Supports You
Web site (www.americasupportsyou.mil) is a good place to start. This
is an umbrella organization for the hundreds of groups seeking to help
military families. Know to look for military specific resources. If you’re looking for scholarships for military children, remember to also check a military
scholarship finder such as the one found on www.moaa.org.

Discounts
Corporations have also banded together to provide discounts to servicemembers and their families. Military OneSource is a good starting point to
find out more about the freebies and discounts available to you. Whenever
you’re planning a vacation, it would be foolish not to do your homework
because there are free tickets to amusement parks for military families, as
well as deeply discounted hotel rooms and other rentals.

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Recreating Yourself Every Few Years
Some people lament that they have to move every two or three years, while
others embrace it as an opportunity to start over each time. Don’t like your
house? No worries, you’ll have a new one in a couple years. Don’t like your
job? Well, you can do anything for two or three years knowing that there’s a
light at the end of the tunnel. That idea might sound somewhat cavalier, and
some people may chafe at having to leave a great area every few years.
However, there is some comfort in the knowledge that if you’re in a less than
desirable situation, all you have to do is wait, and within a few years, you’ll
have the opportunity to recreate yourself. It’s liberating knowing that you
can try most anything because if it doesn’t work out and that job is not what
you had imagined it would be, you can start again in a few years.

Meeting Other Spouses
By far, the greatest personal benefit for military spouses has to be the
opportunity to meet other military spouses. Even though the military throws
people together, everyone comes from different backgrounds and the
opportunity to learn from one another is one of the things that keeps military
life interesting. Don’t go into the military lifestyle girding yourself from the
hurt of multiple good-byes by not taking the time or making the effort to get
to know other military spouses. It’s these friendships and bonds you’ll make
throughout a military career that’ll make the whole experience that much
more special.

Chapter 24

Ten Biggest Financial
Military Benefits
In This Chapter

 Focusing on the benefits that matter most

 Maximizing the financial benefits of a military career

Y

ou and your spouse have sacrificed a great deal to commit to a career of
military service. The base pay isn’t great; however, it’s only a portion
of your total compensation package. In this chapter we focus on all the major
financial benefits of military service.

Retirement Benefits
Imagine receiving a guaranteed income for the rest of your lives. And it keeps
pace with inflation. At the ripe old age of about 40, you and your spouse
could bring in one half of your member’s basic pay for the rest of your lives.
You don’t have to save any money. The U.S. government makes all the
contributions for you. In addition to your military retirement, as early as age
62 you’ll also qualify for Social Security retirement benefits.
There is not a better benefit plan available anywhere. Your spouse’s retirement benefit is guaranteed by the U.S. government, has an annual cost-ofliving adjustment, and they receive 50 percent of base pay after just 20
years of service and 75 percent after 30 years of service.
When you’re 25 years old it’s hard to think about what life is going to be like
at age 40 or 50. It feels like a lifetime away. And a long-term career in the military is definitely not for everyone. If it might be for you, talk to your friends in

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your community who’ve been serving a while longer. Talk to folks who
retired from service. Ask them if they have any regrets. And refer to Chapter
21 for a reminder about the financial cost of replacing a military retirement
benefits.

Survivor Benefit Plan
The above section on military retirement benefits applies while your servicemember or veteran is living. In the event that your spouse predeceases you,
the Survivor Benefit Plan (SBP) is available to insure that you will continue to
receive military retirement benefits for the rest of your life. Without SBP, military retirement income stops when your veteran dies. With SBP you can continue to receive up to 55 percent of your spouse’s military retirement
benefits, adjusted annually for inflation, for the rest of your life.
At retirement you must pay premiums for SBP coverage. The premiums are
withheld directly from your military retirement pay — before tax — which
means Uncle Sam is also subsidizing the cost of your SBP premium. You may
elect the amount of benefit you want up to 55 percent of your spouse’s military retirement. SBP premiums for spouse coverage are 6.5 percent of your
chosen base amount.
The government subsidizes the cost of coverage, so it’s highly unlikely that
you’d be able to purchase commercial life insurance that is truly comparable
and more cost effective then SBP.

Healthcare
Less than 60 percent of the civilian workforce has medical insurance, and far
fewer have dental, vision, or prescription drug coverage. Most civilians are
restricted in the types of jobs they can consider due to their need for quality
health insurance. When a civilian retires they almost never have employerprovided health insurance, and even if they do it’s not guaranteed to be
around throughout their retirement years.
Those employed in, or retired from, the armed forces and their families,
have access to very affordable, quality healthcare, and insurance guaranteed
for life by the U.S. government.
The value of your healthcare benefits alone is over $4,000 per year
per person.

Chapter 24: Ten Biggest Financial Military Benefits

Housing
The military provides your servicemember with all their basic necessities;
food, clothing, and shelter. Married servicemembers may be able to live on
the installation. However, if you prefer to live off-base, or there isn’t capacity
on-base, the military provides you with the Basic Allowance for Housing, also
known as BAH, to adjust for the additional costs of living off-base. The actual
amount of BAH is based on the local rental housing market, your servicemember’s pay grade, and number of dependents.
Depending on where you live, this tax-free financial benefit is worth hundreds
of dollars or more each month.

Education
A major financial benefit of military service is the opportunity to obtain a college education, specific vocational training, or an advanced or postgraduate
degree — almost all paid for by the U.S. government!
The Montgomery GI Bill provides a very generous tax-free benefit to activeduty servicemembers and veterans. More than $38,000 per eligible servicemember is available that can be used to pay for tuition, books, fees, and
living expenses while earning a college degree or certification from a technical school. The Montgomery GI Bill can also be used for professional licensing or certification and on-the-job training programs. This benefit is paid
directly to the student on a monthly basis.
Your servicemember’s military career also provides them with on-the-job
training, leadership skills, and opportunities for promotion. With each promotion they gain more skills, have more responsibility, and of course additional pay and benefits.

Travel
Join the service and see the world! There’s a lot of truth to that statement if
you want to make it happen. Your family can travel for free with the military’s
special travel benefits — but there’s a little art and luck involved.
Space available flights, also known as, Space-A flights enable you, your servicemember, and family to take advantage of the unused seats on Department
of Defense aircraft. Space-A flights can be of great value but you need to have
some flexibility, know the rules, and do some research and plan ahead.

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VA Loans
One home financing option that is available to you and your family but not
available to your civilian counterparts is a VA loan. VA guaranteed loans have
a number of advantages over other types of mortgages, specifically:
 No down payment is required.
 Your credit score can be lower than required for conventional loans.
 Interest rates are very competitive.
 No mortgage insurance is required.
 Fees for a VA guaranteed loan tend to be very low and are added into
the loan so there are no out-of-pocket loan closing expenses.
VA loans are not issued by the Veterans Administration. They are guaranteed
by the VA, but issued by traditional banks, savings and loans, and mortgage
companies. The guarantee means that the lender is protected if you fail
to repay your mortgage. Traditional lenders require a down payment of
20 percent, however due to the VA guarantee you can obtain a VA home loan
with no down payment.

Servicemembers Group Life Insurance
Servicemembers Group Life Insurance (SGLI) is available to all active-duty
servicemembers and members of the Guard and Reserve. Your servicemember is automatically covered for $400,000 of death benefits. The monthly
cost for coverage is just $29 and automatically deducted from their pay
before taxes.
One of the major benefits of SGLI is the fact that the premiums stay level for
the duration of your servicemember’s military career. Another very significant
benefit of SGLI is the fact that servicemembers can convert to Veteran’s Group
Life Insurance — with no medical underwriting — upon transitioning from the
military. If your servicemember has health concerns upon transitioning from a
military this VGLI conversion benefit is a major deal.

Legal Assistance
Your Legal Assistance Center can assist you in answering questions about
your legal rights and protections, as well as, draft wills, healthcare directives,
and powers of attorney. Legal assistance attorneys can also answer questions and give advice about your income taxes or any other personal legal
issue. All of this assistance is provided to you at no charge.

Chapter 24: Ten Biggest Financial Military Benefits

Family Support Center
Centers are available on all installations to assist in your transition and help
you with any questions that you may have. The centers are staffed with
people who’ve been through transitions, deployment, and reunions. They
have spouses in the service and kids in the local schools. They are information central when it comes to what’s going on in “town.” The center staff can
help you locate daycare, get you the scoop on schools, provide you with the
run down on recreation programs to help the kids meet new friends, and fill
you in on all the activities and events that you need to know about as a new
member of the community.
The Family Support Center is command central for family support information, benefits, and programs, making it impossible to put a value on the
services available from the Family Support Center. Take advantage of this
resource on your military installation.

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Chapter 25

Ten Worst Scams Against
Servicemembers
In This Chapter

 Watching your back

 Recognizing schemes that are really scams

W

ith all that you and your servicemember do for our country it’s
really disturbing to know that there are unscrupulous people out
there who have marked you as an easy target. You’re far from that. Check
out some of the hottest scams against servicemembers in this chapter and
tell your friends.

Sending Money to Injured
Servicemembers
The American Red Cross reported that scam artists have been calling
servicemember’s families, claiming that they’re with the Red Cross, asking
for money to help their wounded servicemember.
The Red Cross does not call family members to share this kind of information.
They only get involved if a family calls them. This kind of news would come
from the branch of service or the servicemember’s unit.
If you receive a legitimate call about your servicemember, the caller will
provide you with an 800 number to use if you have any questions or
concerns. This number is strictly used for casualty assistance officers
and families.
If you are concerned about the legitimacy of a contact, call the rear
detachment and talk with them immediately.

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Protecting Your Privacy
You may receive an official looking email from your bank or credit card
company asking you to verify information. Don’t ever give out personal information to anyone you don’t know. If this is a legitimate contact, the company
should have the information they need. If in doubt — call the bank or credit
card company directly and ask them about the call, email, or letter you
received. It is probably fraudulent.
Scam artists collect private information about you and then use it to borrow
money with no intention of ever paying it back, and leaving you to prove you
didn’t borrow the money yourself.
No one thinks identity theft will happen to them. However, it does happen
about a million times a year and has become one of the fastest-growing
crimes in America.
For more information on ways you can protect your privacy check out
Personal Finance Workbook For Dummies (Wiley).

Repairing Your Credit
Nothing can “repair” your credit other than persistence and time. Don’t
waste your money on outfits that promise to fix your credit. They can’t. The
most positive thing that can come out of this is they might educate you
on ways you can, with time, improve your own credit. Instead of paying one
of these outfits $300 or whatever, pick up a copy of Credit Repair Kit For
Dummies by Stephen R. Bucci (Wiley).

Falling for Get-Rich-Quick Schemes
Why is late night television filled with money making “gurus” hocking their
secrets? If the guru could make millions the easy way with their “system”
why would they sell all their secrets on expensive television airtime for just
three easy payments of $59.95? It just isn’t logical.
The only people getting rich are the marketers and the promoters. The old
saying, “if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is” is true.
Don’t be a victim of a great sales pitch. This would be a great way to
get-poor-quick!

Chapter 25: Ten Worst Scams Against Servicemembers

Outsmarting the SBP
There are plenty of financial advisors and insurance agents who will try to
convince you that they can show you a way to get all the benefits of the
Survivor Benefit Plan. They’ll be trying to sell you life insurance — probably
variable universal life insurance.
The SBP program has been drastically improved in recent years and it is
extremely difficult, if not impossible to outperform the SBP. Refer to
Chapter 21 for all the arguments.

Paying Too Much for Financial Advice
Beware of major financial services sales organizations who promote investment plans that require you to invest for 15 years into the same mutual fund.
It’s not that you shouldn’t invest for 15 years. It’s that you shouldn’t buy
these types of investments. They are extremely expensive.
These plans are structured this way to get around a law which sets the maximum commission on a mutual fund investment. Check out a press release on
the Security and Exchange Commission’s Web site http://www.sec.gov/
news/press/2004-170.htm for details on a huge crack-down on deceptive
sales practices used by one of the primary financial services companies who
focuses on military families.
You can do better by spending time educating yourself about personal
finance and investing principles. Check out Personal Finance Workbook
For Dummies (Wiley) and Mutual Funds For Dummies (Wiley) for additional
information.

Investing a Tax Shelter
inside of a Tax Shelter
Financial advisors may suggest that you invest your retirement funds (tax
shelter) or IRAs (tax shelter) into an annuity (another type of tax shelter).
There is no legitimate reason for doing this. The only reason an annuity is
being recommended in this case is to make more money off of you!
The Security and Exchange Commission has an article entitled Investor Tips:
Variable Annuities What You Should Know at http://www.sec.gov/
investor/pubs/varannty.htm.

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Investing in the New, New Thing
You want to find the next Google. There’s nothing wrong with day-dreaming
about striking it rich with one grand-slam home-run. Just remember, Babe
Ruth was the home-run king, and he was also the strike-out king. Swinging for
the fences can leave you with nothing.
Don’t gamble on the one hot, new thing that’s going to change the world.
Shocking as it may seem, those hot, new ideas come around constantly.
Rather, diversify over several different types of investments. If one hits big,
several do okay, and one strikes out, you’re still in the game. Strive for
consistent base hits.

Hedging Your Risks with Gold or Oil
In an uncertain economy many investment gurus tout the virtues of investing
in gold, gold mining stocks, oil company stocks, and oil exploration. Gold is
not worth anything by itself. It doesn’t do anything, you can’t eat it, and it
doesn’t earn anything. Gold mining stocks and oil exploration are extremely
speculative types of investments.
If you’re trying to minimize risk, don’t subject yourself to unnecessary risks
like these. Instead, invest in a low-cost, no-load index mutual fund, and
you’ll get some exposure to lots of different types of companies, including oil
company stocks. Diversification is the best hedge against investment risks.
For additional information check out Investing in an Uncertain Economy
For Dummies.

Considering Payday Loans
Unfortunately, servicemembers and their families are prime targets for
payday lenders. That’s why the government had to step in and tell these outfits to back off our military personnel. Payday loan companies are extremely
lucrative businesses — to own — not to borrow from. They are making a
fortune off of people like you. Don’t become their next victim.

Appendix

Military Acronyms
AA: Assembly Area
AAF: Army Airfield
AAFES: Army Air Force Exchange Service; also called BX
AAM: Army Achievement Medal; Air-to-Air Missile; Automated Acquisition
Module
AAR: After-Action Review; Air-to-Air Receive; Air-to-Air Refueling; Aircraft
Accident Report
AATFC: Air Assault Task Force Commander
AB: Air Base (overseas)
ABN: Airborne
AC: Aircraft Commander; Active Component; Alternating Current; Aircraft;
Aircraft Carrier; Aircrew
ACC: Air Combat Command
ACE: Ammunition, Casualties, Equipment (a report given after contact);
Armored Combat Earthmover
ACR: Armored Calvary Regiment
ACS: Army Community Service
ACSC: Air Command and Staff College
ACU: Army Combat Uniform; Assault Craft Unit; Annunciator Control Unit;
Automatic Calling Unit; Administrative Control Unit
AD: Active Duty (the military member)
ADSC: Active Duty Service Commitment
AEF: Aerospace Expeditionary Force

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AER: Army Emergency Relief
AETC: Air Education Training Command
AFAF: Air Force Assistance Fund (charity fund raising for AFAS)
AFAS: Air Force Aid Society
AFB: Air Force Base
AFI: Air Force Instruction (regulations)
AFIT: Air Force Institute of Technology
AFLC: Air Force Logistics Command
AFMC: Air Force Material Command
AFOQT: Air Force Officer Qualifying Test
AFSC: Air Force Specialty Code
AIT: Advanced Infantry Training; Advanced Individual Training (specialty
training post); Automated Identification Technology
AJM: Assistant Jumpmaster
ALICE: All-Purpose Lightweight Individual Carrying Equipment
ALS: Airman’s Leadership School
AMC: Air Mobility Command
AMF: Army Modular Force
AMN: Airman
AN: Army/Navy
ANCOC: Advanced Noncommissioned Officer Course; (pronounced ay-knock)
ANG: Air National Guard
AO: Accounts Office; Action Officer; Aircraft Officer; Aircraft Operator;
Administration Officer; Air Officer; Area of Operations
AOC: Air and Space Operations Center; Air Operations Center; Army
Operations Center; Area of Concentration
AOD: Administrative Officer of the Day

Appendix: Military Acronyms
AOO: Area of Operations
AOR: Area of Responsibility; Allowance Overrides; Annual Operating
Requirement; Area of Operations; Replenishment Oiler (underway
replenishment)
APC: Armored Personnel Carrier; Acquisition Professional Community;
Accelerated Provision Concepts; Account Processing Code; Activity Process
Codes; Agency Program Coordinator; Air Project Coordinator; Aerial Port
Commander; Assign Pre-programmed Conference; Air Program Coordinator;
Approach Power Compensator; Approach Power Control; Approach Control;
Assistant Project Coordinator
APFT: Army Physical Fitness Test
APO: Air Post Office
ARC: American Red Cross
ARCAM: Army Reserve Component Achievement Medal
ARCOM: Army Commendation Medal
ARFORGEN: Army Force Generation
ARNG: Army National Guard
ARSOF: Army Special Operations Forces
ASAP: As Soon As Possible
ASCC: Army Service Component Command
ASEP: Army Spouse Employment Partnership
ASOC: Air Support Operations Center
ASW: Anti Submarine Warfare
AT: Annual Tour
ATAM: Air-to-Air Missile
ATC: Air Traffic Control
AUTEC: Atlantic Undersea Test and Evaluation Center
AVF: All-Volunteer Force
AWC: Air Warfare Center
AWOL: Absent Without Leave

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B/N: Bombardier/Navigator; the observer on a U.S. Air Force fighter bomber
BAH: Basic Allowance for Housing
BAQ: Basic Aircraft Qualification; Basic Allowance for Quarters
BAS: Basic Allowance for Subsistence
BC: Bradley Commander/Battalion Commander
BCD: Bad Conduct Discharge; Binary-Coded Decimal; Battlefield Coordination
Detachment
BCNR: Board for Correction of Navy Records
BCT: Basic Combat Training; Brigade Combat Team; Best Conventional
Technology
BDUs: Battle Dress Uniform; also called cammies (camouflage)
BEQ: Bachelor Enlisted Quarters
BLUF: Bottom Line Up Front (i.e., get to the point)
BMOC: Big Man on Campus (the General)
BMT: Basic Military Training
BN: Battalion; Basic Noncommissioned Officer Course
BOG: Beach Operations Group
BOQ: Bachelor Officers’ Quarters
BPED: Basic Pay Entry Date
BRM: Basic Rifle Marksmanship
BSB: Base Support Battalion
BUMED: Bureau of Medicine and Surgery
BUPERS: Bureau of Naval Personnel
BX/PX: Base Exchange (AF); Post Exchange (Army)
C:IED: Counter: Improvised Explosive Device
CA: Civil Affairs
CAA: Career Advancement Account

Appendix: Military Acronyms
CAB: Combat Aviation Brigade; Cabin; Centralized Accounting & Billing
(Navy); Contract Adjustment Board; Cost Analysis Brief; Combat
Action Badge
CAC: Common Access Card; Community Activity Center
CACO: Casualty Assistance Counseling Officer
CAO: Civil Affairs Operations
CAPE: Corrective Action through Physical Exercise
CAPEX: Capabilities Exercise
CAPT: Civil Affairs Planning Team
CATA: Civil Affairs Team Alpha
CAV: Cavalry (Armored Cavalry Regiment); Cavalry Fighting Vehicle
CBRND: Chemical-Biological-Radiological-Nuclear Defense
CC: Commander
CCA: Close Combat Attack
CCAF: Community College of the Air Force
CCF: First Sergeant
CCMSGT: Commander Chief Master Sergeant, formerly known as the Senior
Enlisted Advisor (SEA)
CDC: Career Development Course
CDC: Child Development Center
CE: Civil Engineer
CENC: Commander-in-Chief
CENTCOM: Unites States Central Command (AFB MacDill, FL)
CEV: Combat Engineer Vehicle: the only tank type vehicle inside its own
blast radius
CFC: Combined Federal Campaign (charity fundraising for multiple charities)
CHAMPU.S.: Civilian Health and Medical Program for the Uniformed Services
CHOPS: Chief of Operations

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CI: Counter Intelligence
CIB: Combat Infantryman Badge; Combined Information Bureau; Controlled
Image Base
CIF: Central Issue Facility
CIM: Civil Information Management
CINCLANTFLT: Commander in Chief, U.S. Atlantic Fleet
CINCPACFLT: Commander in Chief, U.S. Pacific Fleet
CINCU.S.NAVEUR: Commander in Chief, U.S. Naval Forces Europe
CJSOTF: Combined Joint Special Operations Task Force
CLS: Combat Life Saver
CMC: Command Master Chief
CMO: Civil Military Operations
CMOC: Civil Military Operations Center
CNET: Chief of Naval Education and Training
CNO: Chief of Naval Operations
CO: Commanding Officer
COA: Course of Action; Certificate of Achievement
COB: Close of Business; Chief of the Boat; Closing of Business
COIN: Counter Insurgency
COLA: Cost of Living Allowance
COMNAVYSEASYSCOM: Commander, Naval Sea Systems Command
COMSEC: Communications Security
COMSUBPAC: Commander, Submarine Force Pacific
CONU.S.: Continental United States (the contiguous 48 states)
COW: Chief of Watch
CP: Command Post; Counter Proliferation

Appendix: Military Acronyms
CPO: Civilian Personnel Office; Chief Petty Officer
CQ: Change of Quarters
CRISTA: Counter Reconnaissance, Intelligence, Surveillance, and Target
Acquisition
CSAR: Combat Search and Rescue
CSS: Commander’s Support Staff
CSSAMO: Combat Service Support Automations Maintenance Office
CT: Counterterrorism
CTA: Common Table of Allowances
CVBG: Aircraft Carrier Battle Group
CWO: Chief Warrant Officer; Communications Watch Officer
D:NIF: Duties: Not Including Flying
DA: Department of the Army; Data Adapter; Aerospace Drift; Data
Administrator; Direct Action; Directorate for Administration; Decision Agent;
Developing Agency; Design Agent; Development Activity; Disbursing Advisory
Notice; Drift Angle
DASO: Demonstration and Shakedown Operation
DCM: Distinguished Conduct Medal; Data Channel Multiplexer; Duty Chief of
Mission; Data Communication Module
DD: Destroyer (Navy ship); Defense Department
DDP: Delta Dental Plan
DDS: Direct Deposit System
DECA: Defense Commissary Agency
DEERS: Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System
DEMOB: Short for demobilization
DEROS: Date Estimated Return from Overseas
DFAC: Dining Facilities Administration Center
DFAS: Defense Finance and Accounting System

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DIME: Diplomatic, Informational, Military, and Economic (forms of
national power)
DITY: Do-It-Yourself move
DJMS: Defense Joint Military Pay System
DLA: Defense Logistics Agency; Dislocation Allowance
DO: Duty Officer
DOB: Date of Birth
DOD: Department of Defense
DON: Department of the Navy
DOR: Date of Rank
DOS: Date of Separation
DPP: Deferred Payment Plan
DS: Dependent Spouse
DSN: Defense Switched Network (worldwide telephone system)
DTG: Date Time Group
DZ: Drop Zone
DZSO: Drop Zone Safety Officer
DZST: Drop Zone Support Team
DZSTL: Drop Zone Support Team Officer
EAB: Emergency Air Breathing system
EAF: Expeditionary Aerospace Force
EAOS: Expiration of Active Obligated Service
EFMP: Exceptional Family Member Program
EFT: Electronic Funds Transfer
EOC: Emergency Operations Center
EOD: Explosive Ordinance Disposal

Appendix: Military Acronyms
EOM: End of Month
EOOW: Engineering Officer of the Watch
EOY: End of Year
EPR: Enlisted Performance Report
EQUAL: Enlisted Quarterly Assignment Listing
ESC: Enlisted Spouses’ Club
ETS: Expiration of Term of Service
EUCOM: Untied States European Command (Stuttgart-Vaihingen, Germany)
EWC: Enlisted Wives Club (title being phased out in favor of ESC)
EXSUM: Executive Summary
EZ: Extraction Zone
FARP: Forward Arming and Refueling Point/Forward-Arming
Replenishment Package
FBM: Fleet Ballistic Missile submarine
FEBA: Forward Edge of Battle Area
FERS: Federal Employees’ Retirement System
FICA: Federal Insurance Contribution Act
FID: Foreign Internal Defense
FIT: Federal Income Tax
FITW: Federal Income Tax Withholding
FLT: Flight
FM: Family Member
FPO: Fleet Post Office
FRG: Family Readiness Group
FSA: Family Separation Allowance
FSC: Family Support Center; Family Service Center

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FTX: Field Training Exercise
FY: Fiscal Year
FYI: For Your Information
FYTD: Fiscal Year to Date
GCM: Good Conduct Medal; General Court-Material; Guidance Section
GFOQ: General/Field Officers’ Quarters
GMC: General Military Course
GMT: General Military Training
GOV: Government Owned Vehicle
GS: General Schedule (Civil Service worker)
GSU: Geographically Separated Unit
HA: Humanitarian Assistance
HAHO: High-Altitude High-Opening parachute technique (type of parachute
jump, self-explanatory); also referred to as a stand-off infiltration technique
HALO: High-Altitude Low-Opening parachute technique (type of parachute
jump, self-explanatory); High Altitude Learjet Observatory
HBCT: Heavy Brigade Combat Team
HDIP: Hazardous Duty Incentive Pay
HDR: Humanitarian Daily Ration
HHG: Household Goods
HOLA: Housing Overseas Living Allowance
HOR: Home of Record
HQ: Headquarters
HVT: High-Value Target
IAW: In Accordance With
IBCT: Infantry Brigade Combat Team
IDP: Imminent Danger Pay

Appendix: Military Acronyms
IED: Improvised Explosive Device
IG: Inspector General
IO: Information Operations
IOBC: Infantry Officer Basic Course
IOTV: Improved Tactical Outer Vest
IPB: Intelligence Preparation of the Battlefield
IPI: Indigenous Populations and Institutions
IRR: Individual Ready Reserve
ITT: Information, Tours and Travel
JAAT: Joint Air Attack Team
JAG: Judge Advocate General (legal office)
JCMOTF: Joint Civil-Military Operations Task Force
JCS: Joint Chiefs of Staff
JETDS: Joint Electronics Type Designation
JFTR: Joint Federal Travel Regulation
JM: Jumpmaster
JMPI: Jumpmaster Personnel Inspection
JTF: Joint Task Force
KIA: Killed in Action
KISS: Keep it Simple, Sergeant
LES: Leave and Earning Statement
LPO: Leading Petty Officer
LRS: Long-Range Surveillance
LZ: Landing Zone
MASCAL: Mass Casualty (any large number of casualties produced in a short
period of time that exceed support capabilities)

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MBT: Main Battle Tank
MCCS: Marine Corps Community Services
MCFTB: Marine Corps Family Team Building
MCPON: Master Chief Petty Officer of the Navy
MCX: Marine Corps Exchange
MDMP: Military Decision Making Process
MEDCOM: Army Medical Command
MEDEVAC: Medical Evacuation (to an aid station or field hospital, usually by
air ambulance)
MEPS: Military Entrance Processing Station
MIA: Missing in Action; missing in a battle situation, not known if alive
or dead
MILSTD: Military Standard
MOAB: Officially, Massive Ordnance Air Blast (slang: Mother Of All)
MOB: Short for mobilization
MOS: Military Occupational Specialty; formal job classification, usually
expressed as a number or number/letter combination (e.g., 11B Infantryman)
MP: Military Police
MPF: Military Personnel Flight
MRE: Meals, Ready to Eat
MSS: Mission Support Squadron
MTF: Military Treatment Facility, or base clinic/hospital
MWR: Morale, Welfare, and Recreation
NAF: Non-Appropriated Funds
NATO: North Atlantic Treaty Organization
NAVSEA: Naval Sea Systems Command
NCIS: Naval Criminal Investigations Service

Appendix: Military Acronyms
NCO: Non-Commissioned Officer (an enlisted person with command
responsibility; Corporal to Command Sergeant Major)
NCOIC: Non-Commissioned Officer in Charge
NEO: Non-combatant Evacuation Operations
NEX: Navy Exchange
NJP: Naval Judicial Punishments
NLT: Not Later Than
NMCRS: Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society
NPD: No Pay Due
NSSF: Naval Submarine Support Facility
O/A: On or About
O/I: Operations and Intelligence
O/O: Order of Operations, on orders
OBA: Oxygen Breathing Apparatus
OCONU.S.: Outside the Continental United States (overseas tour, includes
Alaska & Hawaii)
OCR: Office (Officer) of Co-Responsibility
OCS: Officer Candidate School
ODA: Special Forces Operational Detachment: Alpha
OER: Officer Evaluation Report
OGA: Other Government Agency
OHA: Overseas Housing Allowance
OIC: Officer in Charge
OJT: On the Job Training
OLC: Oak-Leaf Cluster (signifying subsequent awards)
OOD: Officer Of the Deck
OP: Observation Post

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OPNAV: Office of the Chief of Naval Operations
OPR: Office of Primary Responsibility; Officer Performance Report
OPSEC: Operational Security
OPTARTD: Operating Target
OPTEMPO: Operational Tempo
ORE: Operational Readiness Exercise
ORI: Operational Readiness Inspection
ORSE: Operational Reactor Safeguards Exam
OSC: Officers’ Spouse Club
OSD: Office of the Secretary of Defense
OSI: Office of Special Investigations
OSUT: One-Station Unit Training
OTS: Officer Training School
OWC: Officers’ Wives Club (title being phased out in favor of OSC)
PACAF: Pacific Air Forces
PAT: Process Action Team
PCA: Permanent Change of Assignment
PCC: Pre-combat checks; Done by team leaders prior to PCI’s
PCI: Pre-combat inspection; an inspection of equipment before a mission
PCM: Primary Care Manager
PCS: Permanent Change of Station (reassignment to a different duty station)
PEBD: Pay Entry Base Data
PERSCOM: Personnel Command, short for United States Army Personnel
Command; now known as HRC, or the Human Resources Command
PERSTEMPO: Personnel Tempo (refers to the unit workload level and
number of developed days per year)
PFDR: Pathfinder

Appendix: Military Acronyms
PFE: Promotion Fitness Exam
PFMP: Personal Financial Management Program
PI: Point of Impact
PIR: Parachute Infantry Regiment
PLDC: Primary Leadership Development Course
PME: Professional Military Education
PMI: Preventive Maintenance Inspection
POA: Power of Attorney
POC: Point of Contact
POG: Psychological Operations Group
POMPOC: Parachute Operations Mishap Prevention Orientation Course
POO: Point of Origin
POV: Privately-Owned Vehicle
POW: Prisoner of War; Privately-Owned Weapon
PRD: Projected Rotation Date
PRP: Personal Reliability Program
PSYOP: Psychological Operations
PT: Physical Training; plural (PTs) refers to the PT uniform
PX: Post Exchange; a multi-purpose store which usually includes a barber
shop and a convenience store
QA: Quality Assurance
QTRS: Quarters (living area)
R&D: Research and Development
R&R: Rest and Relaxation
RADC: Regional Air Defense Commander
RAP: Relocation Assistance Program; also known as Relo

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REG: Regulation
RGB: Ranger Battalion
RIF: Reduction in Force
RIO: Radar Intercept Officer, or “Rio”; an observer on a U.S. Naval Aviation
two-seater fighter
ROE: Rules of Engagement
ROTC: Reserve Officer Training Corps
RPG: Rocket-Propelled Grenade
RRC: Ranger Reconnaissance Company
RSVP: Respond if you Please (expect yes or no)
RTB: Ranger Training Brigade
RTB: Return to Base
RTO: Radio Telephone Operator
SAM: Surface to Air Missile
SATCOM: Satellite Communications
SATO: Scheduled Airlines Ticket Office
SBCT: Stryker Brigade Combat Team
SBF: Support by Fire
SBP: Survivor Benefit Plan
SCA: Support to Civil Administration
SDO: Staff Duty Officer
SEA: Senior Enlisted Advisor, now known as the Command Chief Master
Sergeant, CCMSGT
SEAL: Sea-Air-Land
SECDEF: Secretary of Defense
SF: Special Forces
SFODA: Special Forces Operation Detachment (Alpha)

Appendix: Military Acronyms
SFQC: Special Forces Qualification Course, also known as simply the
“Q course”
SGLI: Serviceman’s Group Life Insurance
SITREP: Situational Report
SITW: State Income Tax Withholding
SKT: Skills and Knowledge Test
SLBM: Submarine Launched Ballistic Missile
SME: Subject Matter Expert
SO: Special Operations; Stability Operations
SOAC: U.S. Navy Submarine Officers Advanced Course
SOAR: Special Operations Aviation Regiment
SOBC: U.S. Navy Submarine Officers Basic Course
SOCOM: Special Operations Command
SOF: Special Operations Forces
SOMSUBLANT: Commander, Submarine Force Atlantic
SONAR: Sound Navigation and Ranging
SOP: Standard Operation Procedure
SORTIE: A flight or single flying mission
SOS: Squadron Officer’s School
SOSCOM: Special Operations Support Command
SOSR: Suppress, Obscure, Secure, Reduce
SOY: Sailor of the Year
Space-A: Space-available (flights)
SRB: Selective Reenlistment Bonus
SSN, SSAN: Social Security Number
STAP: Spouse Tuition Aid Program

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STEP: Stripes for Exceptional Performers
STRAC: Strategic Army Corps
STX: Situational Training Exercise
SUBGRU: Submarine Group
SUBORC: Submarine Rocket
SUBRON: Submarine Squadron
TA: Tuition Assistance (program for active duty members)
TAD: Temporary Additional Duty
TAFMSD: Total Active Federal Military Service Date; the date the
servicemember came on active duty
TAP: Transition Assistance Program
TC: Tank Commander/Truck Commander
TDP: (Helicopter) Touch Down Point; used in HLZ Ops; TriCare Dental Plan
TDU: Trash Disposal Unit
TDY: Temporary Duty
TF: Task Force
THT: Tactical HUMINT Team
TIG: Time in Grade
TLA: Temporary Living Allowance
TLE: Temporary Lodging Expenses
TLF: Temporary Living Facility
TMO: Traffic Management Office
TO: Technical Order
TOA: Transfer of Authority
TOC: Tactical Operations Center
TOT: Time on Target

Appendix: Military Acronyms
TPT: Tactical PSYOP Team
TRADOC: U.S. Army Training and Doctrine Command
TSP: Thrift Savings Plan
TTAD: Temporary Tour Active Duty
TYCOM: Type Commander
UA: Unit of Action; Unauthorized Absence
UCI: Unit Compliance Inspection
UCMJ: Uniform Code of Military Justice
UIC: Unit Identification Code
U.S.ACAPOC: United States Army Civil Affairs and Psychological
Operations Command
U.S.AF: Untied States Air Force
U.S.AFE: United States Air Force- Europe
U.S.AFR: United States Air Force Reserves
U.S.AJFKSWCS: United States Army John F. Kennedy Special Warfare Center
and School
U.S.AREUR: United States Army Europe (HQ: Heidelberg)
U.S.ASFC: United States Army Special Forces Command
U.S.ASOC: United States Army Special Operations Command
U.S.O: United Service Organization
UTA: Unit Training Assembly
UW: Unconventional Warfare
UXO: Unexploded Ordinance
V/R: Very Respectfully. The standard closure line on official mail/e-mail
V/STOL: Vertical/Short Takeoff and Landing
VA: Veteran’s Administration
VAQ: Visiting Airman’s Quarters

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VBIED: Vehicle-Borne Improvised Explosive Device
VHA: Variable Housing Allowance
VIP: Very Important Person
VOQ: Visiting Officers Quarters
W2: Wage and Tax Statement
WAPS: Weighted Airman Promotion System
WG: Wag Grade (Civil Service worker)
WIC: Women, Infants, and Children’s Program
WO: Warning Order
WSO: Weapon Systems Officer, or “Wizzo”; observer, navigator, or
individual in control of weapon systems in a two-seater fighter
XILCO: Will Comply
XO: Executive Officer
YTD: Year to Date
ZULU/GMT: Greenwich Mean Time

Index
• Numerics •
26-1880, VA Form, 143
140, Air Mobility Command Form (Space-A
sign-up), 89
214, DD Form (certificate of release/
discharge), 274–275
397, DD Form (Death Gratuity
Payment), 212
401(k) retirement plan, 302–303
403(b) retirement plan, 302
1172, DD Form (DEERS enrollment) (Web
site), 32
2558, DD Form (allotments from pay),
70, 99
2642, DD Form (TRICARE claim form), 76
2648, DD Form (pre-separation counseling
checklist), 274, 295
3286, SGLI Election and Certificate Form, 92
8283, SGLV Form, 212

•A•
AAFES (Army and Air Force Exchange
Service), 37
ABCTE (American Board for Certification
of Teacher Excellence), 163
absentee landlord, becoming, 141–142
ABU (Airman Battle Uniform), 16
ACE (automated certificate of eligibility)
system, 143
acronyms and abbreviations, 321–340
additional pays, 62–64
adjustable compared to fixed-rate
mortgages, 117, 118, 144
administrative separations from service,
278–279
advocacy organizations, 200–203
AER (Army Emergency Relief), 213
AFAS (Air Force Aid Society), 213
AFSC (Armed Forces Services Corporation)
(Web site), 213

Air Force, U.S.
discontinuance of rank decals for cars, 24
ranks in, 22, 23
Air Force Academy (Colorado Springs), 24
Air Force Aid Society (AFAS), 213
Air Mobility Command fact sheet (Web
site), 15
Air Mobility Command Form 140 (Space-A
sign-up), 89
aircrews, extra pay for, 62
Airman Battle Uniform (ABU), 16
Airmen and Family Support Center, 43. See
also FSC (Family Support Center)
allotments from pay, 68, 70, 99–100, 123
allowances, financial
Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH), 39,
65–66, 68, 131–133
Basic Allowance for Sustenance (BAS),
64–65
clothing, 65
Cost of Living Allowance (COLA),
64, 95, 287
dislocation allowance (DLA), 66
exemption from tax, 132
Family Separation Allowance, 66, 226
per diem, 65
personal allowances to high-ranking
officers, 71
temporary lodging overseas, 66
America Supports You (Web site),
198–199, 258
American Board for Certification of
Teacher Excellence (ABCTE), 163
American Telecommuting Association
(Web site), 158
An Analysis of Military Disability
Compensation (Buddin), 210
anxiety
children’s moving, 171
managing during deployment, 252–253,
268–269
post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD),
206, 209–210, 235

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Armed Forces Services Corporation (AFSC)
(Web site), 213
Armed Forces Vacation Club, 259
Army, U.S., ranks in, 22, 23
Army and Air Force Exchange Service
(AAFES), 37
Army Community Services, 43. See also
FSC (Family Support Center)
Army Emergency Relief (AER), 213
arts and crafts center, 41–42
asset transfer strategies, estate
planning, 128
authorized healthcare providers, defined,
74, 75
auto hobby shop, 44–45
automated certificate of eligibility (ACE)
system, 143
automatic debits from checking
account, 100
automobile insurance (Web site), 106–107
aviation officer specialty pay, 63

•B•
bad-conduct discharge, 279
BAH (Basic Allowance for Housing), 65–66,
68, 131–133
banking, 45, 101
BankRate.com (Web site), 116, 117
Barber, Allison (Deputy Asst. Sec. of
Defense), 198
barracks and dorms overview, 35
base (facility). See installation
base exchange (BX), 37–39, 308
base pay, 62, 71, 94–95, 284–285
Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH), 65–66,
68, 131–133
Basic Allowance for Subsistence (BAS), 39,
64–65
beneficiary designations, estate planning,
128–129
Beneficiary Web Enrollment (Web site), 33
benefits. See also veteran’s benefits
civilian employer compared to military,
297–304
community services. See community
network

compensation. See compensation
deployment-related, 225–227, 240
education. See education
employment of spouses, 156–157, 308
Guard and Reserve, guide for, 192–193
healthcare. See healthcare benefits
housing. See housing
legal assistance, 90–92, 188, 207–208,
277–278, 314
post-death of spouse, continuation of, 213
retirement. See retirement
Social Security, 212, 290–291
travel, 10, 14, 307–308, 313. See also space
available (Space-A) travel
unemployment compensation for
spouses, 163, 194
bill paying, automatic methods for, 99, 100
billeting/lodging facilities, 35, 66, 90
blogging during deployment, 264
bonuses, special pay, 63, 64, 71
brain injuries, 206
Bucci, Stephen R. (author)
Credit Repair Kit For Dummies, 318
Buddin, Richard J. (author)
An Analysis of Military Disability
Compensation, 210
budgeting, 224
business lease termination right, 91
buying a house, 137–144
BX (base exchange), 37–39, 308

•C•
CAC (Common Access Card), 81
car insurance, 106–107
care packages, 265–266
career assessment for transition to civilian
employment, 294–295
Career Status Bonus (CSB/REDUX), 95,
284–285
CareerOneStop (Web site), 296
casualty assistance officer, 211–213
CDC (child development center), 43–44,
169–170
ceremonies
change of command, 27, 56
Dining In/Out, 54–55

Index
etiquette overview, 25–28
promotion, 55
retirement, 27, 56
retreat and reveille, 27
certificate of eligibility for VA loan, 143
certification requirements and relocating
employment, 163
CGMA (Coast Guard Mutual Aid), 213
CGX (Coast Guard Exchange), 37
change of command ceremony, 27, 56
chapel, 46, 48, 57, 241
chaplain, 46, 187, 241
CHCBP (Continued Health Care Benefit
Program), 188, 276
child development center (CDC), 43–44,
169–170
childcare
center as anchor for child during
deployment, 255–256
flexible spending plan, 303
options for, 43–44, 168–171
reimbursement for volunteers, 158
children
challenges to marital relationship, 184
childcare options, 43–44, 158, 168–171,
255–256, 303
college cost planning, 119–121
communicating with, 249–251
deployments
behavior expectations, 254
caregiver and teacher roles, 255–256
emotional issues, 231, 234, 247–248,
252–253
expectations about contact with parent,
254–255
informing deployed parent about family
situation, 253–254
maintaining routines during, 248–249
parental absence issue, 167
sharing responsibilities during, 256–257
divorce, relationship to, 188–189
education of, 43, 119–121, 171–174, 214
extra-curricular programs for, 192
fitness center restrictions, 41
grassroots movements to support
military, 197
grief support for survivor, 213, 214–215

guardians in will planning, 125
introduction, 167
life insurance for, 103
military ID rules for, 34
moving challenges, handling, 171, 174–177
national anthem etiquette, 26
sharing information with deployed
servicemember, 267–268
space available (Space-A) travel, 307–308
Youth and Teen Center, 44, 176, 251
chow hall facilities, 39
churches
childcare at, 169
on-base chapel, 46, 48, 57, 241
civilian careers, post-transition
employer benefits evaluation, 297–304
transition resources, 292–297
Class 6 store, 39
classified ads, 162
clothing allowance, 65
clubs
food/entertainment, 40
overview, 47–48, 57
spouse clubs, 16, 47–48, 242–243
vacation, 259
Coast Guard, U.S., ranks in, 22, 23
Coast Guard Academy (New London), 24
Coast Guard Exchange (CGX), 37
Coast Guard Mutual Aid (CGMA), 213
COLA (Cost of Living Allowance),
64, 95, 287
College Board (Web site), 120
college education
in-state tuition benefit, 194
investing tax-free money in, 72
planning for children’s, 119–121,
173–174, 214
servicemember benefits, 10, 150–154, 155,
163, 275, 313
spouse’s benefits, 154–155, 308
Combat Dining Out, 55
combat zone pay, exclusion from taxes, 72
Comfort Zone Camps (Web site), 215
commissary, 16, 36–37, 308
commission, officer’s, for warrant
officers, 21

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commissioned officers
ranks among, 21, 22
sources of commission, 24
commodities, risks of investing in, 320
Common Access Card (CAC), 81
communication
importance for military families, 179–185,
263–265
security issue, 148, 199, 263–264
community network
accessing for employment assistance, 158
as children’s school options
resource, 171
establishing post-move, 146–147
Fisher House Foundation, 196
grassroots efforts to support troops,
196–199
for Guard and Reserve, 192–193
introduction, 191–192
keeping in touch with friends/family, 177
maintaining through multiple moves, 147
off-base deployment support, 245
post-retirement connections, 289
spousal friendships, 310
state-level, 193–195
support overview, 10–11
TMC, 200–203
USO, 195
Web-based, 147–148, 199–200
company grade officer, defined, 25
compensation. See also allowances
base pay, 62, 71, 94–95, 284–285
incentive pay, 71
introduction, 61
overtime pay in civilian employment, 304
pay statement, 67–70
pay taken in lieu of leave, 71
retirement pay, 283–286
sources of pay overview, 61–67
specialty pays, 62, 63, 64, 71
taxes, 68, 70–72
compound interest and investment
appreciation, 108–109, 110
concessionaires in exchange malls, 38
Connect and Join (Web site), 253
contact information, keeping current,
50–51
Continued Health Care Benefit Program
(CHCBP), 188, 276

contract housing availability, 134
CONUS (continental United States)
gas stations on base, 38
healthcare benefits, 74, 83, 85, 298
housing allowance in, 132
Military OneSource counseling, 244
conventional home loan, 117, 118, 144
COOL (Credentialing Opportunities
On-Line) (Web site), 296
co-ops, childcare, 168
Cost of Living Allowance (COLA),
64, 95, 287
cost of working outside the home,
calculating (Web site), 157
court-martial and punitive discharge,
279–280
Coverdell Education Savings Account, 72
Credentialing Opportunities On-Line
(COOL) (Web site), 296
credit history development, 101–102, 318
Credit Repair Kit For Dummies (Bucci), 318
credit report, free annual (Web site), 102
credit score, 101
CSB/REDUX (Career Status Bonus), 95,
284–285
custodian designation, will planning, 125
customs and courtesies. See also
ceremonies
introduction, 19
myths compared to realities, 19–20
protocol (party), 29–30
rank and hierarchy, 20–25
saluting, 25, 26
spousal responsibilities and freedoms,
24, 25, 28–29

•D•
DD Form 214 (certificate of release/
discharge), 274–275
DD Form 1172 (DEERS enrollment) (Web
site), 32
DD Form 2558 (allotments from pay), 70, 99
DD Form 2642 (TRICARE claim form), 76
DD Form 2648 (pre-separation counseling
checklist), 274, 295
DDESS (Domestic Dependent Elementary
and Secondary Schools), 173
death certificate, 212

Index
Death Gratuity Payment (DD Form
397), 212
death or disability of family member.
See also estate planning
disability, dealing with, 205–210
introduction, 205
surviving servicemember’s death,
210–216
DEERS (Defense Enrollment Eligibility
Reporting System), 31–33
Defense Commissary Agency (DeCA), 36
Defense Finance and Accounting Service
(DFAS) (Web site), 70, 188, 226
Defense Manpower Center contact
information, 33
dental insurance, 84–85, 299
dental officers, bonus pay, 63
Department of Defense Dependents
Schools (DoDDS), 173
Department of Defense Education Activity
(DoDEA), 172–173
Dependence and Indemnity Compensation
(DIC), 212
deployments
benefits related to, 225–227, 240
children
behavior expectations, 254
caregiver and teacher roles, 255–256
emotional issues, 231, 234, 247–248,
252–253
expectations about contact with parent,
254–255, 257
informing deployed parent about family
situation, 253–254
maintaining routines during, 248–249
parental absence issue, 167
homeownership maintenance
responsibilities, 137
long-distance relationships, handling,
180–182, 263–269
overview, 4
preparation
emotional issues, 227–235
financial planning, 222–225, 240
introduction, 219
myths compared to realities, 219–220
powers of attorney, 220–222
special benefits from, 225–227
psychological phases of, 227–235

sharing responsibilities during, 248,
256–257
stress management, 236–237, 250,
252–253, 268–269
support of living on base during, 18
traditional family support options,
239–245
DFAS (Defense Finance and Accounting
Service) (Web site), 70, 188, 226
DH (Darling Husband), defined, 16
DIC (Dependence and Indemnity
Compensation), 212
dining hall facilities, 39
Dining In, 54–55
Dining Out, 28, 54–55
direct deposit of paycheck, setting up,
225–226
disability, dealing with, 205–210
disability insurance for spouse, 104, 300
DisabilityInfo.gov (Web site), 209
discharge from military. See transitioning
out of military
discounts for servicemembers and
families, 309
discretionary allotments from pay, 70, 99
dishonorable discharge, 279
dislocation allowance (DLA), 66
diving duty specialty pay, 63
divorce, 187–189
do it to yourself (DITY) moving, defined, 16
document storage online, 223
DoDDS (Department of Defense
Dependents Schools), 172–173
DoDEA (Department of Defense Education
Activity), 172–173
Domestic Dependent Elementary and
Secondary Schools (DDESS), 173
dorms and barracks overview, 35
double taxation elimination between
states, 91
down payment on home purchase, 117,
118–119
Drake, Thelma (congressional
representative), 203
dress code
in clubs, 40
communicating for social events, 29, 30
fitness center, 41

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driver’s license renewal requirements,
waiving for military, 193
drop-in childcare, 168
durable power of attorney for healthcare,
126–127, 221
DW (darling wife), 50

•E•
EAP (Employee Assistance Program), 187
early career separation, 280–281
eating facilities overview, 39–40
education. See also college education
children’s pre-college, 43, 171–174
civilian employer compared to military
benefits, 304
counseling during separation
planning, 275
extra-curricular programs for
children, 192
need for flexibility in pursuing, 13
officer and enlisted levels of, 20
for portable careers, 158–159
professional military, 150
summary of benefits, 309, 313
eligibility certificate for VA loan, 143
ELS (entry level separation), 279
e-mail for friendship network maintenance,
147
emergency reserve fund, 100–101, 225
emotional issues in military life stresses.
See family dynamics
Employee Assistance Program (EAP), 187
Employer Support of the Guard and
Reserve (ESGR) (Web site), 193
employment
civilian compared to military benefits,
297–304
protecting Guard and Reserve members’
civilian, 91, 193, 227
spouse’s civilian, 13, 155–163,
184–185, 308
transitioning to civilian, 275, 294–295
unemployment benefits for spouses,
163, 194
Enlisted Club, 40
enlisted personnel, ranks among, 21, 23

Enlisted Spouses’ Club, 47
entry level separation (ELS), 279
EOB (Explanation of Benefits), TRICARE, 85
ESGR (Employer Support of the Guard and
Reserve) (Web site), 193
estate planning
death of spouse, actions after, 212
durable power of attorney for healthcare,
126–127, 221
financial power of attorney, 127, 221
introduction, 123–124
living trust, 126
living will, 127, 221
will, 125
events
Dining In/Out, 28, 54–55
going-away parties for moving, 175
Hail and Farewell, 52
holiday parties, 53
introduction, 28
military balls, 28
eviction protection, 91
exchanges, base/post (BX/PX), 37–39, 308
Executor’s Resource (Web site), 222
expectations, managing in changing
situations, 182–183, 254–255, 257
expenses, monthly, assessment of, 97–99
Explanation of Benefits (EOB), TRICARE, 85
extended family communication during
deployment, 268

•F•
Family Advocacy Program (FAP), 48, 57,
187
family childcare (FCC) program, 170
family dynamics
among military families, 11
children. See children
death or disability of family member,
205–216
deployments. See deployments
expectations, managing in changing
situations, 182–183, 254–255, 257
marriage and relationship. See marriage
and relationship

Index
moving challenges, 171, 174–177, 213, 310
overview, 4
post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD),
206–207
stress management. See stress
management
Family Readiness Assistant, 242
Family Readiness Group (FRG), 241–242
Family Separation Allowance, 66, 226
Family Servicemembers’ Group Life
Insurance (FSGLI) (Web site), 94, 103
Family Support Center (FSC). See FSC
(Family Support Center)
family support facilities overview, 42–44
fatigue uniform (ABU), 16
FCC (family childcare) program, 170
FHA (Federal Housing Administration)
home loan, 117, 143
field grade officer, defined, 25
financial aid for college expenses, 120, 153
financial calculator for down payment
planning (Web site), 119
financial issues and benefits. See also
compensation
allotments from pay, 68, 70, 99–100, 123
avoiding scams related to, 319
big expense saving guidelines, 113–114
challenges to marital relationship, 184
college costs, 119–121, 153
credit history development, 101–102
for deployments, 222–225, 240
emergency reserve fund, 100–101, 225
estate planning, 123–129
home purchase, 115–119
insurance types, 102–107
introduction, 97
investing guidance, 107–111
monthly expenses assessment, 97–99
overview, 3
retirement, 94–95, 108–109, 110, 121–123,
283–287
financial power of attorney, 127, 221
Fisher, Elizabeth (Fisher House
founder), 196
Fisher, Zachary (Fisher House
founder), 196
Fisher House Foundation (Web site), 196
fitness and sports center, 41, 169

fitness-for-duty status, 207
fixed-rate compared to adjustable
mortgages, 117, 118, 144
flag, U.S., respect for, 26–27
flag officer, defined, 25
Flat Daddies/Flat Mommies (Web site), 254
flexibility, importance of, 12–15, 182
flexible spending plan/flex-account,
303–304
flipping (rehabilitating) a property,
140–141
Flipping Houses For Dummies, 141
food allowance (BAS), 39, 64–65
foreclosure protection for
servicemembers, 91
foreign countries, assignments in.
See overseas assignments
foreign language proficiency specialty
pay, 63
401(k) retirement plan, 302–303
403(b) retirement plan, 302
frame hobby shop, 42
Freedom Walks, 199
FRG (Family Readiness Group), 241–242
FSC (Family Support Center)
deployment support resource, 239–240
dual active-duty spouses assignment
planning, 161
employment assistance, 158
identification by service, 43
moving support, 87–88, 147
as on-base service, 57
summary of benefit, 309, 315
Web site, 88
FSGLI (Family Servicemembers’ Group Life
Insurance) (Web site), 94, 103
full-time childcare options, 169
fundraiser events, 52

•G•
gaining unit, defined, 50
gas stations, on-base, 38
general discharge, 278
general officer, defined, 25
get-rich-quick schemes, avoiding, 318
golf ball theory of life, 234
Good Grief Camp for Young Survivors, 214

347

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A Family’s Guide to the Military For Dummies
grassroots efforts to support troops,
196–199
grief process, 214
Grog bowl, 54
Guard and Reserve
childcare options for, 170–171
employment rights of, 91, 193, 227
guidance for benefits (Web site), 192–193
healthcare program, 74, 82–84
MGIB educational benefit, 151, 153
VA loan eligibility, 118
guardians for children, will planning, 125
gym (fitness center), 41, 169

•H•
Hail and Farewell event, 52
haircare facilities, 38
Hardship Duty Pay, 62
Hazardous Duty Incentive Pay, 62
Hazardous Duty Incentive Pay for Flying, 62
health insurance reinstatement right, 91
health savings account, 303
healthcare benefits. See also MTF (military
treatment facility); TRICARE
after death of spouse, 213
CHCBP, 188, 276
civilian compared to military, 78, 297–298
durable power of attorney for healthcare,
126–127, 221
flexible spending plan, 303–304
in retirement, 287–288
summary of family, 308, 312
transitioning out of service, 276
Hero Salute program, Anheuser Busch
parks, 259
Heroes Mile program, 196
High 36 Retirement System, 284, 285
high school academic requirements, state
differences, 171
HMO (Health Maintenance Organization),
TRICARE Prime as, 74
holiday parties, 53
Home Buying For Dummies, 139
home foreclosure protection, 91
home-based working moms (Web site), 158
homeowner’s insurance, 104–105, 116

homeschooling (Web site), 172
honorable discharge status, 278
Hostile Fire and Imminent Danger Pay, 62
housing
adjusting to changing, 13
allowance for, 65–66, 68, 131–133
introduction, 131
off-base options
buying, 72, 115–119, 137–144, 192, 314
introduction, 135–136
leasing/renting, 133, 136–137, 139–140
rehabilitating property (flipping),
140–141
renting your property to others, 141–142
on-base options, 35, 134–135
overview of types, 35
relocating/moving tips, 145–148
summary of benefit, 313
Housing and Urban Development, U.S.
Department of (Web site), 116, 117
Hug a Hero (Web site), 254

•I•
ID card, obtaining, 34
identity theft through e-mail scams, 318
incentive pay, 71
income taxes. See taxes
ING Direct (Web site), 101, 109, 119
ING Orange Savings Account, 101, 109, 119
injured servicemembers, scam about, 317
installation
as American island in overseas
assignments, 14
auto hobby shop, 44–45
banking, 45
benefits overview, 18
child development center (CDC), 43–44,
169–170
clubs and groups overview, 47–48
DEERS enrollment, 31–33
eating facilities, 39–40
family support options
chapel, 46, 48, 57, 241
family advocacy program, 48, 57, 187
Family Readiness Group (FRG), 241–242
Family Support Center. See FSC

Index
online support for deployments,
243–244
overview, 42–44
spouse clubs, 16, 47–48, 242–243
housing options, 35, 134–135
ID card, obtaining, 34
introduction, 17–18, 31
Military Treatment Facility. See MTF
(Military Treatment Facility)
MWR facilities, 41–42
overview of types, 16
responsibilities of, 18
schools, 172–173
shopping facilities, 16, 36–39, 308
Spouses’ Club, 48
in-state tuition option for servicemembers,
163
insurance
automobile, 106–107
disability, 104, 300
health. See healthcare benefits
homeowner’s, 104–105, 116
life. See life insurance
long-term care, 300–301
Private Mortgage Insurance (PMI),
118, 143
property, 104–106, 116
renter’s, 105
inter-service rivalry, 27
interest rate reduction benefit on loans, 90
interest rates and mortgage choices,
117, 144
Internet. See Web-based resources
investing guidance
college education, 72
compound interest and investment
appreciation, 108–109, 110
purpose and method choice, 107–108,
109, 111
rental real estate, 141–142
retirement, 72, 108, 109, 111, 277,
291–292, 302
scams to avoid, 319–320
Investing in an Uncertain Economy For
Dummies, 320
IRA (Individual Retirement Account), 108

•J•
JAG (judge advocate general) bonus, 63
job fairs, 162
Joint Operational Support Airlift Center
(OSA) (Web site), 88
Joint Spouses’ Luncheon, 47
junior grade officer, defined, 25

•K•
Kübler-Ross, Elisabeth (author)
On Death and Dying, 214

•L•
landlord responsibilities, 141–142
language, introduction to military jargon,
16–17
late career separation, 281–282
lawyers, military (JAG), bonus, 63
leasing a house, 133, 136–137, 139–140
leave (paid vacation), 66–67, 68
leave and earnings statement (LES), 61,
67–70
Legal Assistance Center (Web site), 92
legal issues and resources
appealing medical review board decision,
207–208
for divorce, 188
legal problems as reason to join military,
myth of, 20
rights and protections for
servicemembers, 90–92
summary of benefits, 314
upon separation, 277–278
LES (leave and earnings statement), 61,
67–70
life events, updating DEERS for, 32–33
life insurance
for children, 103
civilian compared to military, 301–302
Family Servicemembers’ Group Life
Insurance (FSGLI), 94, 103
Servicemembers’ Group Life Insurance
(SGLI), 92–93, 102–103, 301, 314

349

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A Family’s Guide to the Military For Dummies
life insurance (continued)
Traumatic Injury Protection coverage,
93–94
Veteran’s Group Life Insurance (VGLI),
93, 277, 301
Web sites for outside agencies, 93
line compared to nonline officers, 21
liquor store, on-base, 39
living trust, 126
living will, 127, 221
local bank account, 45
lodging/billeting facilities, 35, 66, 90
long-distance relationships, handling,
180–182, 263–269. See also
deployments
long-term care insurance, 300–301
long-term disability insurance, 300

•M•
mail call, 266
mail-order exchange shopping, 37
Marine Corps Community Services, 43. See
also FSC (Family Support Center)
Marine Corps Exchange (MCX), 37
Marines, U.S., ranks in, 22, 23
marriage and relationship
children as challenge to, 184
communication, 179–185
deployment, connectivity during,
180–182, 263–269
divorce, 187–189
financial challenges to, 184
introduction, 179
setting aside couple time, 186
spousal employment effects on, 184–185
support and counseling, 187
MCX (Marine Corps Exchange), 37
Meals Ready to Eat (MREs), 16
medical benefits. See healthcare benefits
medical clinic, on-base. See MTF (military
treatment facility)
Medical Evaluation Board (MEB), 207
medical officers, bonus pay, 63
medical retirement, 208, 210
medical review board, 207
medical separation from service, 207, 210

medical transcription as portable
employment option (Web site), 159
Medicare and TRICARE, 288
mental health, PTSD (post-traumatic stress
disorder), 206, 209–210, 235. See also
family dynamics
Merchant Marine Academy (Kings
Point), 24
mess hall facilities, 39
MGIB (Montgomery GI Bill)
introduction, 10
provisions of, 150–152
summary of benefit, 313
VA as administrator of, 275
Web site, 155
mid-grade officer, defined, 25
military balls, 28
military benefits. See benefits
military clause in housing lease
agreement, 133
The Military Coalition (TMC), 200–203
military family life/culture
benefits of. See benefits
civilian life, compared to, 9
deployments. See deployments
diversity of people in, 20
effects on family. See family dynamics
equalizing nature of, 17
flexibility, importance of, 12–15, 182
installation, residing on. See installation
introduction, 1–5
language/jargon, introduction to, 16–17
marking milestones, 55–57
overview, 9–11
support resources on base, 57
unit, connecting to, 49–55
Military Hire (Web site), 296
Military HOMEFRONT (Web site), 145–146
military ID card, obtaining, 34, 214
Military Job Zone (Web site), 296
military married to military, special
benefits for, 133, 160–161
Military Officers Association of America
(MOAA) (Web site), 203, 210, 296
Military OneSource service, 88, 145, 187,
209, 244
Military Spouse and Family Legacy
Association (Web site), 203

Index
Military Spouse Career Advancement
Account, 159
military spouse preference (MSP) program,
160–161
military treatment facility (MTF). See MTF
(military treatment facility)
Military.com Transition Center (Web
site), 296
MilSpouse.org (Web site), 209
MOAA (Military Officers Association of
America) (Web site), 203, 210, 296
money market account for savings, 101,
107, 119
Monster.com (Web site), 296
Montgomery GI Bill (MGIB). See MGIB
(Montgomery GI Bill)
Month of the Military Child, 177
monthly expenses assessment, 97–99
Morale, Welfare and Recreation (MWR)
programs, 37, 41–42, 259
mortgage
assessing types of, 117, 118, 142–144
debt compared to gross income, 115, 116
Private Mortgage Insurance (PMI),
118, 143
total payment compared to gross income,
115, 116
move-in housing allowance, overseas,
66, 133
movie theater, on-base, 42
moving
advantages of starting anew, 310
after death of spouse, 213
children’s challenges, 171, 174–177
in conjunction with deployment, 235
dislocation allowance, 66
do it to yourself (DITY) version, 16
family challenges, 171, 174–177, 213, 310
Family Support Center, 87–88, 147
going-away parties, 175
housing tips, 145–148
move-in allowance for overseas
assignments, 66, 133
pet transfer challenge, 176
at separation from service, 275
sponsors for, 50
spouse employment and education
challenges, 158–159, 163
TLF housing, 35

Mr. Vice (at Dining In/Out), 54
MREs (Meals Ready to Eat), 16
MSP (military spouse preference) program,
160–161
MTF (military treatment facility)
civilian healthcare, compared to, 298
function of, 45–46
TRICARE, relationship to, 75, 77, 78
Web site, 77
Mutual Funds For Dummies, 111, 292
MWR (Morale, Welfare and Recreation)
programs, 37, 41–42, 259

•N•
names, courtesies about, 24
national anthem, 26, 27, 42
National Association of Child Care
Resources and Referral Agencies
(NACCRRA) (Web site), 170
National Association of Education of Young
Children (NAEYC), 43
National Association of Home Based
Businesses (Web site), 158
National Guard servicemembers. See
Guard and Reserve
National Hire Veterans committee
(Web site), 296
National Military Family Association
(NMFA) (Web site), 203
Naval Academy (Annapolis), 24
Navy, U.S., ranks in, 22, 23
Navy Exchange Service Command
(NEX), 37
Navy Fleet and Family Support Center, 43.
See also FSC (Family Support Center)
Navy Marine Corps Relief Society
(NMCRS), 213
net pay on LES, 68
network, community. See community
network
network healthcare providers, defined, 74
networking for job search, 162, 297
newsletter, unit, 51
NEX (Navy Exchange Service
Command), 37
NMCRS (Navy Marine Corps Relief
Society), 213

351

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A Family’s Guide to the Military For Dummies
NMFA (National Military Family
Association) (Web site), 203
Non-Commissioned Officers’ Club, 40
Non-Commissioned Officers Association
(Web site), 296
nondiscretionary allotments from pay,
70, 99
nonline compared to line officers, 21
non-network healthcare providers,
defined, 74
non-participating providers, TRICARE, 75
nuclear power training duty bonus for
Naval officers, 63
Nurse Licensure Compact, 163

•O•
occasional childcare, 168
occasional/drop-in childcare, 168
Occupational Outlook Handbook (Dept. of
Labor) (Web site), 156
OCONUS (outside CONUS). See overseas
assignments
OCS (Officers Candidate School), 24
off-base services and facilities. See also
community network
childcare options, 170
deployment support network, 245
housing options
buying, 72, 115–119, 137–144, 192, 314
introduction, 135–136
leasing/renting, 133, 136–137, 139–140
rehabilitating a property (flipping),
140–141
renting your property to others, 141–142
Officer Training School (OTS), 24
officers, commissioned
ranks among, 21, 22
sources of commission, 24
Officers Candidate School (OCS), 24
Officers’ Club, 40
Officers’ Spouses’ Club (OSC), 16, 47
OHA (Overseas Housing Allowance),
66, 133
OMK (Our Military Kids), 170–171
on-base services and facilities. See
installation
On Death and Dying (Kübler-Ross), 214

online resources. See Web-based resources
Operation ReMax, 159
Operation Transition Bulletin Board, DoD
(Web site), 296
operational security (OpSec), 264
OSC (Officers Spouses Club), 16, 47
OTH (under other than honorable)
conditions discharge, 279
OTS (Officer Training School), 24
Our Military Kids (OMK), 170–171
overseas assignments
banking, 45
Department of Defense Dependents
Schools (DoDDS), 173
familiarity of shoppettes, 39
gasoline discounts on base, 38
healthcare benefits, 79, 85
housing allowance for off-base housing,
66, 133
Military OneSource counseling, 244
overview, 14
sponsors for, 50
Overseas Housing Allowance (OHA),
66, 133
overtime pay in civilian employment, 304
ownership classifications for estate
transfer, 127–128

•P•
package store, on-base, 39
parenting. See children
parking privileges based on rank, 24
participating providers, TRICARE, 75
part-time childcare, 168–169
Pass and ID office, 34
Patriot Express Pilot Loan Initiative, 192
pay, military. See compensation
pay taken in lieu of leave, 71
payday loans, avoiding, 100, 320
PCM (primary care manager), 77
PCS (permanent change of station). See
also moving
in conjunction with deployment, 235
defined, 16
relocating tips, 145
sponsors for, 50
TLF housing for moving families, 35

Index
PEB (Physical Evaluation Board), 207
pensions in civilian employment, 303
Pentagon Federal Credit Union (Web site), 101
per diem allowance (Web site), 65
permanent compared to temporary
disability retirement, 208
personal allowances to high-ranking
officers, 71
personal development programs, 309
Personal Finance Workbook For Dummies,
103, 114, 222, 300, 318
personal property, estimating value of,
105–106
pet moving challenge, 176
Petroleum, Oil & Lube (POL) coupons, 38
pharmacies, options for filling
prescriptions, 80
philanthropy, spouses clubs as sources
of, 243
phishing schemes, e-mail, 318
phone communication during deployment,
264–265
Physical Evaluation Board (PEB), 207
physical exam, pre-separation, 276
pilots, extra pay for, 62, 63
PMI (Private Mortgage Insurance), 118, 143
Point of Service option for TRICARE Prime,
78, 79
POL (Petroleum, Oil & Lube) coupons, 38
portability of careers for spouses, 159
post. See installation
Post 9/11 GI Bill, 152–153
post exchange (PX), 37–39, 308
post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), 206,
209–210, 235
power of attorney
for deployments, 220–222
financial, 127, 221
for healthcare, 126–127, 221
for military beneficiary, 33
PPO (preferred provider option), TRICARE
Extra as, 76
prescription drug benefit, 80, 84, 299
pre-separation counseling, 295
primary care manager (PCM), 77
Private Mortgage Insurance (PMI), 118, 143
probate court process for estate
distribution, 126

professional associations for job
search, 162
professional development programs, 309
professional military education, 150
promotion ceremony, 55
promotion opportunities, 150
property insurance, 104–106, 116
property management company, 142
protocol (party/social), 29–30
psychological issues. See family dynamics
PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), 206,
209–210, 235
public school systems, checking on
Internet, 172
punitive discharge, 278, 279–280
purchase of home, 72, 115–119, 137–144,
192
PX (post exchange), 37–39, 308

•Q•
quarantine, pet, 176

•R•
radio programs in support of military
families, online, 200
rank and hierarchy, 20–25, 62
RAP (Relocation Assistance Program), 275
Rapids Site Locator (Web site), 33
rations, field (MREs), 16
real estate field as portable employment
option, 159
real estate taxes, 116
records, military, preparation for
separation, 274–275
recreational activities and children’s
transitions, 175
RecruitMilitary.com (Web site), 296
Red Cross, scam impersonating, 317
reenlistment bonus, 63
rehabilitating (flipping) a property,
140–141
relocating. See moving
Relocation Assistance Program (RAP), 275
rental real estate, managing, 141–142
renter’s insurance, 105
renting a house, 133, 136–137, 139–140

353

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A Family’s Guide to the Military For Dummies
Reserve, servicemembers in. See Guard
and Reserve
residency, changing state, 194
resource and referral (R&R) programs for
childcare, 170
respect and marriage relationship, 183–184
retirement
calculation of benefit, 94–95, 283–286
ceremony for, 27, 56
civilian compared to military benefits,
302–303
civilian world, returning to, 289
compound interest and appreciation,
108–109, 110
continued relationship with military in, 56
financial benefits of, 280–287, 311–312
introduction, 283
investment vehicles for, 72, 108, 109, 111,
192, 277, 291–292, 302
medically required, 208, 210
saving for ultimate, 121–123, 290–292
sources for, 109
Thrift Saving Plan (TSP), 72, 108, 109–111,
277, 302
transferring TSP funds to civilian
plan, 277
Web site, 95
retreat ceremony, defined, 27
reveille ceremony, defined, 27
RoboForm software (Web site), 223
roster, unit, 50–51
ROTC (Reserve Officer Training Corps), 24
Roth IRA, 108, 111, 292
R&R (resource and referral) programs for
childcare, 170
RSVP responsibilities for social events, 29
Rules of the Mess for Dining In/Out, 54

•S•
SAC (school-age care) program, 43, 169
saluting, 25, 26
savings accounts
big expense saving, 113–114
Coverdell Education Savings Account, 72
health savings account, 303

ING Orange Savings Account, 101,
109, 119
money market, 101, 107, 119
Savings Deposit Program (SDP), 226
SBA (Small Business Administration) (Web
site), 192
SBP (Survivor Benefit Plan), 189, 212,
286–287, 312, 319
scams against servicemembers, 317–320
scholarships, educational, 153, 155,
173–174, 309
school-age care (SAC) program, 43, 169
schools. See also education
as anchors for child during deployment,
255–256
community network resource, 171
high school academic requirements,
state differences, 171
homeschooling, 172
officer training, 24
on-base, 172–173
SCRA (Servicemember’s Civil Relief
Act), 90
SDP (Savings Deposit Program), 226
sea duty specialty pay, 63
Section 125 plan, 303–304
secure document storage, 222
secured credit card, 102
security, communication, 148, 199, 263–264
Security and Exchange Commission (SEC)
(Web site), 319
self-employment, spousal, 158, 160
separation from active duty. See
transitioning out of military
servicemembers. See also deployments
college education benefits, 10, 150–154,
155, 163, 275, 313
death or disability of, 210–216
DEERS update responsibility, 32–33
foreclosure protection for, 91
grassroots support for wounded, 197
importance of unit identity for, 49
priority at commissary checkouts for
uniformed, 36
rights and protections for, 90–92
scams targeted against, 317–320

Index
Servicemember’s Civil Relief Act
(SCRA), 90
Servicemembers’ Group Life Insurance
(SGLI), 92–93, 102–103, 301, 314
Sesame Street Workshop videos
(Web site), 251
SGLI Election and Certificate Form 3286, 92
SGLV Form 8283, 212
Shades of Green resort at Disney World
(Web site), 259
shoppettes, on-base, 38–39
shopping facilities, on-base, 16, 36–39, 308
short-term disability insurance, 300
single-parenting during deployments, 167,
230, 249
skills conversion for military-to-civilian
employment, 294–295
skills development center, 41–42
Skype Internet phone service, 265
Small Business Administration (SBA)
(Web site), 192
Snowball Express (Web site), 197, 215
social life
advantage of military friendships, 29
clubs and groups. See clubs
during deployments, 242–243
ease of identifying people, 17
events. See events
fundraisers, 52
protocol, 28–30
Social Security Administration, 212,
290–291
space available (Space-A) travel
benefits of, 307
categories of, 14, 89
defined, 14
rules of, 88–89
summary of benefit, 307, 313
unreliability of schedules and spaces, 15
special occasions, sharing during
deployment, 266–267
special warfare officers, bonus pay, 64
specialty pay, 63, 71
sponsor for integration into new unit,
33, 50

spouse clubs, 16, 47–48, 242–243
spouse events, 53
Spouse Tuition Assistance Program
(STAP), 155
spouses
asset ownership issues for estate
planning, 128
customs and courtesies, 24, 25, 28–29
disability insurance for, 104, 300
educational opportunities, 154–155, 308
employment of, 13, 155–163, 184–185, 308
flexibility expectation for, 182
lack of rank status for civilian, 20, 24
life insurance for, 103
military spouse preference (MSP)
program, 160–161
overview of involvement opportunities,
28
role modeling responsibility of, 24
single-parenting during deployments, 167,
230, 249
as survivor of servicemember’s death,
210–216
unemployment compensation, 163, 194
USFSPA, 188
Web site for support resources, 159
Spouses’ Club, 48
Spouse-to-Teachers program (Web site),
163
staffing companies, 162
STAP (Spouse Tuition Assistance
Program), 155
stars and stripes, respect for, 26–27
State Liaison Office (Web site), 163,
194–195
state-level community support resources,
193–195
statement of service to qualify for
VA loan, 143
statute of limitations adjustment for
servicemembers, 90
stay of proceedings right, 90
stress management
during deployments, 236–237, 250,
252–253, 268–269

355

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A Family’s Guide to the Military For Dummies
post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD),
206, 209–210, 235
student loan repayments, 71
Survivor Benefit Plan (SBP), 189, 212,
286–287, 312, 319

•T•
T. Rowe Price (Web site), 111
TA (Tuition Assistance) program, 153
Talk, Listen and Connect (video series), 251
TAMP (Transitional Assistance
Management Program), 276
TAP (Transition Assistance Program), 274,
295–296
TAPS (Tragedy Assistance Program for
Survivors) (Web site), 214
taxes
allowances as exempt from tax, 71, 132
combat deployment exemption, 226
homeownership benefits, 137–138
leave, relationship to, 67
on LES, 68
overview, 70–72
property, 116
state differences in handling, 193
TDP (TRICARE Dental Plan), 84–85, 299
teacher certification, 163
teachers as anchors for child during
deployment, 255–256
temporary compared to permanent
disability retirement, 208
temporary duty (TDY/TAD) assignments,
10, 16
temporary lodging facilities (TLFs),
35, 66, 90
Thrift Saving Plan (TSP), 72, 108, 109–111,
277, 302
thrift shop, 47
time in service, pay grade, relationship
to, 62
tipping of grocery sackers at
commissary, 36
titling of assets, 128
TMC (The Military Coalition), 200–203
toasts at Dining In/Out, 54
tour of duty, defined, 54

traditions and ceremonies. See customs
and courtesies
Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors
(TAPS) (Web site), 214
Transition Assistance Online (Web site),
296
Transition Assistance Program (TAP), 274,
295–296
Transitional Assistance Management
Program (TAMP), 276
transitional survivorship status, 213
transitioning out of military. See also
retirement
career assessment, 294–295
early career separation, 280–281
introduction, 273
late career separation, 281–282
medical reasons, 207, 210
overview, 4
planning for, 273–278
pre-separation counseling, 295
voluntary compared to involuntary
separation, 278–279
transitory nature of military life, 10–15,
182. See also deployments; moving
traumatic brain injuries, 206
Traumatic Injury Protection coverage,
93–94
travel, benefit of, 10, 14, 307–308, 313. See
also space available (Space-A) travel
TRICARE
basic elements, 74–75
eligibility, 73, 75, 76, 77, 84
enrollment information, 81–82
Guard and Reserve members, 74, 82–84
introduction, 32, 73
prescription drug coverage, 80
statements, 85
summary, 80–81
for survivors of servicemember’s
death, 213
Web site, 75
TRICARE Dental Plan (TDP), 84–85, 299
TRICARE Extra, 74, 76–77
TRICARE for Life, 288
TRICARE Prime, 74, 77–79, 298
TRICARE Prime Overseas, 79
TRICARE Prime Remote, 79

Index
TRICARE Reserve Select, 83–84
TRICARE Standard, 74, 75–76
TSP (Thrift Saving Plan), 72, 108, 109–111,
277, 302
Tuition Assistance (TA) program, 153

•U•
under other than honorable (OTH)
conditions discharge, 279
Understanding Credit For Dummies, 102
unemployment benefits for military
spouses, 163, 194
Uniformed Services Employment and
Reemployment Rights Act (USERRA),
91, 193, 227
Uniformed Services Former Spouse
Protection Act (USFSPA), 188
uniforms and ease of identification, 17
unit, connecting to, 49–55
United Concordia Companies
(Web site), 84
United States Military Academy (West
Point), 24
U.S. Air Force Academy (Colorado
Springs), 24
U.S. Coast Guard Academy (New
London), 24
U.S. government jobs site (Web site), 297
U.S. Merchant Marine Academy (Kings
Point), 24
U.S. Naval Academy (Annapolis), 24
USERRA (Uniformed Services Employment
and Reemployment Rights Act), 91,
193, 227
USFSPA (Uniformed Services Former
Spouse Protection Act), 188
USO (United Service Organization) (Web
site), 195
utilities, on-base housing, 134

•V•
VA Form 26-1880, 143
VA home loan, 118, 142–143, 314
vacation and holiday benefits, 66–67,
68, 304

vacation trips during deployment period,
258–260
Veteran’s Affairs, U.S. Department of
DIC benefit, 212
disability benefits, 208, 209
as MGIB administrator, 275
PTSD support (Web site), 207
Web site, 209
veteran’s benefits
MGIB educational benefit, 10, 150–152,
155, 275, 313
Post 9/11 GI Bill, 152–153
VA loans, 118, 142–143, 314
Veteran’s Benefits For Dummies, 209, 277,
288, 301
Veteran’s Group Life Insurance (VGLI), 93,
277, 301
veterinary officers, bonus pay, 64
VetJobs.com (Web site), 297
Vets4Hire (Web site), 297
Virtual Family Readiness Group (VFRG)
(Web site), 264
vision care benefit, 79, 299
voluntary compared to involuntary
separation, 278–279
volunteering, 157–158, 169, 241–242

•W•
warrant officers, ranks among, 21, 23
Web-based resources
children’s school options, 172
deployment, 243–244, 253, 264
job hunting resources, 161
online communities, 147–148,
199–200, 264
online exchange shopping, 37
scholarships, educational, 309
will, 125
wood hobby shop, 41
wounded servicemembers, grassroots
support organizations for, 197

•Y•
yard maintenance for on-base housing, 134
Youth and Teen Center, 44, 176, 251

357

358

A Family’s Guide to the Military For Dummies

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