1 Social Success For Web Site
User Manual: Social-Success-for-web-site
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HELPING YOUR CHILD
EXPERIENCE
SOCIAL SUCCESS
“We will do, and (then) we will hear.”
(Exodus 24:3-7)
Dan Shapiro, M.D.
Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics
drdan@parentchildjourney.com
www.parentchildjourney.com
Assessment
before
Management
“Accurate description leads to effective prescription.”
-Mel Levine
When social difficulty is
secondary
(caused by other “stuff ”)
•Difficult temperament/ behavioral style
•Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
•Executive Dysfunctions
•Verbal Language Learning Disabilities
•Mood Disorders:
•Anxiety, generalized, performance, social
•Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
•Depression, Bipolar Illness, Severe Mood
Dysregulation
Other secondary causes of social difficulty
•Un-even sensory profile
•Fine and gross motor weaknesses
•Involuntary movement disorders (tics, Tourette’s)
•Environmental disadvantage
•deprivation or adversity
•lack of positive social role models, social
teaching, social experience
Primary causes of social difficulty
(Disorders of the “social brain”)
•Dyssemia/ Social Pragmatic Disorder/ Social
Communication Disorder
•Non-verbal Learning Disability
•Personality disorders
opsychopaths, sociopaths, narcissists, paranoids
•Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)
oKanner-type thru Asperger-type
Overall strategy
Developmental, natural, experiential, individualized
•Address all causes, primary and secondary
•Meet each child at his or her developmental level
oWhere (s)he’s at
oNot where you think (s)he should be
•Ensure success at current developmental level
•Set short-term goals: “Where s/he’s at + 1”
•Positive reinforcement
•Gradually fade support and space positive
reinforcement to promote independence
•Structure (Dependence)
•Familiarity
•Competence/ Interest
•Play skills
•Partner
•Group size
•Time
•Warm-up time
•Sharing
•Social awareness
•Social skill
•Flexibility
•EQ
STRUCTURE
(DEPENDENCE)
Beginner Intermediate Advanced
tightly scripted
outlined
free improvisational
Provide sufficient structure and
supervision
•Unstructured time should be structured up
•Direct social coaching and facilitation is
sometimes necessary
•Adults should gradually fade support to
foster social independence
•Caution: Do not fade too quickly; do not
leave a child unsupported because he or she
is “older”
FAMILIARITY
Beginner Intermediate Advanced
frequent
infrequent/previewed
new
Familiarity
•Limit novelty
•Preview/rehearse
Limit novelty
•Social success derailed by
o“experiencing new things”
oanxiety, sensory overload
•Comfort zone expanded by
oold familiar activities in old familiar settings
odeliberate, incremental exposure to “new”
Preview/rehearse
•Visual schedule
•Social calendar
•Social stories
•Cartoon conversations
•Social scripts
•Rule review
•Guided practice
•Role-plays
COMPETENCE
Beginner Intermediate Advanced
expert
intermediate
beginner
INTEREST
Beginner Intermediate Advanced
high
medium
low
Select activities in areas of competence
and interest
•Social success is more likely in areas of strength
•Shared interests lead to good relationships
•Follow your child’s bliss
PLAY SKILLS
(Lifter)
Beginner Intermediate Advanced
indiscriminate
discriminative/
combinations
socio-
dramatic-
thematic
Teaching Play Activities To Preschool
Children With Disabilities: The Importance
Of Developmental Considerations
Journal of Early Intervention 17, 139-159.
Provide developmentally appropriate play opportunities
Teach up to the next level
Indiscriminate Play
◦Actions when all objects are treated alike
◦Such as, waving, mouthing, banging, feeling,
throwing
Discriminative Play
◦Interacting with an object in a manner consistent
with the properties of that object
◦Such as, pushing a car, squeezing a stuffed animal,
pushing buttons on a pop-up
Take Apart Combinations
◦Separating the configuration of objects
◦Such as, taking all of the pieces out of a puzzle
Presentation Combinations
◦Child recreates combinations of objects according to their
presentation configuration
◦Such as, putting pieces back into a puzzle
General Combinations
◦Use objects based on global properties that are shared by
many different objects
◦Such as, using an item as a container (nesting cup, bed of
dump truck) to hold a variety of objects (blocks, toy cars)
Pretend Self
◦Relating an object to self with a pretend quality
◦Such as, bringing an empty cup to one’s mouth to “drink”
Specific Combinations (physical attributes)
◦Preserve the distinct and unique physical
characteristics of objects in constructed
configurations
◦Such as, stacking blocks, stringing beads, rolling a
car down a ramp
Child as Agent
◦Using a replica of a person or an animal along with
a prop to complete an act
◦Such as, giving a doll a drink with a cup , feeding an
animal with a spoon
Specific Combinations (conventional
attributes)
◦Preserve the unique physical conventional
characteristics of objects in configuration with
another
◦Such as, placing a cup on a saucer
Single Scheme Sequences
◦Extension of familiar actions to two or more objects
◦Such as, feeding self with a spoon then feeding a doll,
then a stuffed animal, etc.
Substitutions
◦Use one object to stand in the place of another
◦Such as, using a bowl as a hat
Substitutions without Object
◦Pretending to use something that is not there
◦Such as, shaking an imaginary salt shaker, drinking from
an imaginary cup
Doll as Agent
◦Manipulate doll figures as if they are capable of
action
◦Such as, moving figures as though they are walking,
having a doll hold a mirror as if to see itself
Multi-scheme Sequences
◦Extend different actions on the same figure
◦Such as, feed doll with spoon, wipe it with cloth,
put it to bed
Socio-dramatic Play
◦Adopt various familiar roles in play themes
◦Such as, playhouse; assign role of baby, child,
parent, pet, friend
Thematic Fantasy Play
◦Adopt various fantasy characters
◦Such as, superman
PARTNER
Beginner Intermediate Advanced
parent/sibling
older/younger
children
peers/diversity
Choose partners
•Older or younger children may be easier
•Sometimes boys do better with girls, girls with
boys
•“What do you want to do?” before, “Who do
you want to play with?”
•Match favorite activities to specific friends
GROUP SIZE
Beginner Intermediate Advanced
solo
“two’s
company”
larger
Limit group size
•Social stress can increase with the number of
play partners
•Success 1-on-1 comes before success 1-on-2,
etc.
TIME
Beginner Intermediate Advanced
short
medium
long
Limit time
•Stop before misunderstandings, conflicts or
boredom
•Know how long your child usually lasts, plan to
end 15 minutes earlier
•“Thanks for coming, thanks for going”
WARM-UP TIME
Beginner Intermediate Advanced
prolonged
moderate
short
Prolong warm-up
•For those who are slow to warm-up
•“One toe in the pool at a time”
•Warm-up can range from minutes, to hours,
to days, to weeks, to months
•Gradual, gentle coaxing
•Warning for “just jump in the deep end”-types
•Consider shortening warm-up for these
children and parents
•Don’t prolong torturous transitions
SHARING
Beginner Intermediate Advanced
attention
things
thoughts and
feelings
Teach sharing
•Prompt to share engagement (joint attention)
•Playful obstruction to share things
•Visual communication (e.g. cartoon
conversations) to share thoughts and feelings
SOCIAL AWARENESS
(From I-It to I-Thou)
Beginner Intermediate Advanced
egocentricity
other
awareness
reciprocity
Teach social awareness
•Teach mind-reading
•Teach active listening
•Teach receptive non-verbal language
SOCIAL SKILLS
Beginner Intermediate Advanced
beginner
intermediate
advanced
Teach social skills
•Some children need explicit teaching and
supervised practice
oSocial norms and rules
oSharing, collaborating, turn-taking, entering
and leaving a group
oSocial problem solving; compromise and
reconciliation
oExpressive non-verbal language (signaling)
•Prosody/ tone of voice, interpersonal
space, grooming, facial expression, body
language, sarcasm, etc.
FLEXIBILITY
Beginner Intermediate Advanced
my way
your way
our way
Flexibility training*
•Explicitly teach flexibility as a concept
•Spaghetti noodle (raw/ cooked)
•There is no such thing as a perfect friend
•Expectations can not always be met
•“Go with the flow” for the sake of the
relationship
•Demonstrate and point out examples of
flexibility (real-life, TV, books)
•Praise and, if necessary, reward flexibility
* Kenworthy, Anthony, Werner, Unstuck and On-Target
EQ
Beginner Intermediate Advanced
black and
white
primary
emotions
multiple
shades
EQ development
•Teach fundamental emotions (happy, sad, angry,
and scared) and gradations (big deal, little deal, no
problem; red, yellow and green)
•Then teach subtleties (confused, embarrassed,
jealous, disbelieving, remorseful, grateful,
annoyed, frustrated) and degrees (multiple shades
of gray, 0-10)
•Move from “mean” or “nice” to understanding
the full, ever-changing array of personalities
•Nuanced emotional understanding leads to
greater tolerance of social demands and mature
coping strategies
Temple Grandin:
Different kinds of friendships
•“You neurotypicals and your relationships!”
•Work and the good life.
Specific considerations
•The Social Development School
•Complementary social learning
•Social skills groups
•Bullying/ teasing
•Social life begins at home
•Helping others
The Social Development School
•Social problem solving
•Social engineering
•Social situations management
•Social responsibility
•Special social education
oSocial impairment causes learning
impairment
o504 Plans or IEPs should include specific
social goals and strategies
Peer mentoring
Complementary social learning
Supplements to real-life experience
•Dolls and toy figures
•Books: fiction, poetry, biography, history
•Pets
•Screen time (with parental supervision!)
•E-friends
Social skills groups
•Therapeutic peer groups
•Individual psychosocial therapy
•Mainstream/inclusion social groups
oClubs/classes/activities in shared interests
oDrama classes/theatre
oSports
Bullying/ teasing
•Take it seriously
oAnxiety/ depression/ suicide
oColumbine and Virginia Tech
•Map of safe zones/ high-risk zones
•Specific plans for dealing with both bully
and victim
Social life begins at home
•Adult role models: parents,
grandparents, and teachers
•Siblings have different profiles/ needs
•The case against sibling conflict
opreventing harm
•The case for sibling conflict
olearning from experience
Helping others
•Volunteer, teach, coach, mentor, baby-sit
•Pair with classmates or younger students
•Group volunteering (double dose of
meaningful social connection)
Temple Grandin:
Different kinds of friendships
•“You neurotypicals and your relationships!”
•Work and the good life.
Resources
•Attwood, The Complete Guide to Asperger Syndrome
• Brazelton, “The Case for Sibling Rivalry” in The Birth
of the Family
•Baron-Cohen, Teaching Mind-Reading to Children
•Faber and Mazlisch, Siblings without Rivalry
•Goleman, Social Intelligence
•Greenspan, Playground Politics
•LaVoie, t’s So Much Work Being Your Friend
•Nowicki and Duke, Teach Your Child the Language of
Social Success
•Winner, Thinking About You, Thinking About Me
•Gutstein and Sheely, Relationship Development
Intervention
•Jeanette Navigating the Social World
•Jed Baker, Social Skills Training, The Social Skills Picture
Book
•Bellini, Building Social Relationships
