Survivors Guide

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The Callisto Survivor’s Guide
Information and resources for survivors of sexual assault, rape, and
professional sexual coercion.

We believe you.

For more information about Callisto, please go to projectcallisto.org

The Callisto Survivor’s Guide

Welcome

1. Welcome. We believe you.
Before you begin, please know that you are not alone. We have created
this guide to share information and resources for survivors of sexual
assault, rape, and sexual coercion. We hope that you ﬁnd it helpful.
We know that this time in your life can be very stressful and that much of
the language here may be triggering or upsetting. However, we also
hope that you ﬁnd this guide to be empowering and uplifting. It is written
by fellow survivors to remind you that you are surrounded by a
community of caring individuals, and that there are many resources

Table of Contents

available to help you on your journey.
Welcome
Understanding the Langauge
Practicing Self-Care
Getting Emotional Help
Reporting the Incident
Navigating Professional Sexual Coercion
How Callisto Can Help

We are stronger. Together.

The Callisto Survivor’s Guide

As a survivor navigating your options to take action, you may be
learning a whole new language of law, policy, and psychology. In
this section, we will walk you through the most important terms
related to rape, sexual assault, and sexual coercion.
Before we begin, we want to stress two things. First, anyone—no
matter their sex, gender, age, race—can be the victim of rape,

Understanding the Language

11. Understanding the Language

sexual assault, and sexual coercion. Second, rape, sexual assault,
and sexual coercion are inexcusable. They are never, ever the fault
of the victim.
Warning: The following pages contain triggering and graphic
deﬁnitions. Please feel free to skip this section altogether or come
back at a later time.

The Callisto Survivor’s Guide

U N D E R S TA N D I N G T H E L A N G U A G E

Definitions to Know
These pages contain general deﬁnitions of sexual
assault, sexual harassment, sexual coercion, and rape.
Please see the links for state-speciﬁc information.

HEAR FROM AN EXPERT

“Consent is the ability to choose, based
on your own internal experience, what
you want physically, emotionally,
mentally, spiritually, and sexually, and
then to communicate those wants.”
- Staci Haines, from the Survivor’s Guide to Sex

Consent:
The legal deﬁnition of consent diﬀers from state to state. In
general, consent is an active, verbal agreement to engage in
sexual activity with someone. Sexual activity without your
consent is rape or sexual assault. If you are underage, under
the inﬂuence of alcohol or other drugs, or sleeping, you do
not have the capacity to give consent. If someone pressures,
tricks, or emotionally forces you to agree to sexual activity,
this is considered sexual coercion.
• Visit RAINN to ﬁnd the legal deﬁnition of consent in your state.
• Visit The Survivor Alliance to ﬁnd the legal age of consent in your state.

Sexual Coercion:
Any person of any sex, gender, age, and race can be a victim
of sexual coercion. Sexual coercion means pressuring,
tricking, threatening, or non-physically forcing someone into
any sexual activity. This can also be in the form of requesting
sexual activity in exchange for a professional or ﬁnancial
beneﬁt. You do not owe anyone sex—not your investors,
bosses, mentors, teachers, or anyone who does or does not
have any power over you.
• Visit the Oﬃce of Women’s Health to read the legal deﬁnition of sexual coercion.
• Visit RAINN to ﬁnd the legal deﬁnition of sexual coercion according to your state.

The Callisto Survivor’s Guide

HEARING FROM SURVIVORS

Sexual Assault:
U N D E R S TA N D I N G T H E L A N G U A G E

Definitions to Know
These pages contain general deﬁnitions of sexual
assault, sexual harassment, sexual coercion, and rape.

Any person of any sex, gender, age, and race can be a victim
of sexual assault—including spouses and long-term partners.
Any sexual activity that you did not consent to is sexual
assault. While sexual assault and rape are sometimes used
interchangeably, sexual assault also refers to non-penetrative
sexual activity, including fondling and molestation.

Please see the links for state-speciﬁc information.
• Visit the Department of Justice to read the legal deﬁnition of sexual assault.

Sexual Harassment:

• Visit RAINN to ﬁnd the legal deﬁnition of sexual assault according to your state.

Any person of any sex, gender, age, and race can be a victim
of sexual harassment. Sexual harassment creates a hostile

Rape:

work environment and is illegal. Sexual harassment includes

Any person of any sex, gender, age, and race can be a victim

any unwanted verbal or physical sexual behavior in the
workplace. This can range from sexual comments about a
person’s clothing, anatomy, or looks, to very serious acts that
qualify as assault or rape. Sexual harassment is about the
impact of the behavior on you, and the severity and frequency
of the incidents. It is not about the intent of the person who is
engaging in the behavior.

of rape—including spouses and long-term partners. When
someone penetrates your vagina or anus with any object or
body part, or your mouth with their sex organ, without your
consent, it is rape. Please know that consent to one sexual act
does not imply consent to another sexual act. There can be
rape even if the victim consented to certain sexual acts.
• Visit the Department of Justice to read the general legal deﬁnition of rape.

• Visit the EEOC to read the legal deﬁnition of sexual harassment.

• Visit RAINN to ﬁnd the legal deﬁnition of rape according to your state.

• Visit RAINN to ﬁnd the legal deﬁnition of sexual harassment according to your
state.

The Callisto Survivor’s Guide

HEARING FROM SURVIVORS

If you experienced an event
U N D E R S TA N D I N G T H E L A N G U A G E

More Resources
American Bar Association Directory
BetterBrave
Department of Justice: Legal Deﬁnition of Rape
Department of Justice: Legal Deﬁnition of Sexual Assault
EEOC: Legal Deﬁnition of Sexual Harassment
Legal Age of Consent by State
National Employment Lawyers Association
National Women’s Law Center
Oﬃce of Women’s Health: Legal Deﬁnition of Sexual Coercion
RAINN: Deﬁnition of Consent by State
RAINN: Legal Deﬁnition of Rape and Assault by State
RAINN: State Law Database

that was traumatizing, or just
didn't feel right, and you are
not able to deﬁne it, you can
talk to an attorney to help you
understand the legal aspects
of what happened. Check with
a local justice center or your
local bar association to get
information on their legal aid
support.

The Callisto Survivor’s Guide

Sometimes the pressure to engage in self-care after a traumatic
experience can create even more stress. You may wonder if you
are doing it correctly or you may feel a need to demonstrate your
strength and resilience to others.

Practicing Self-Care

111. Practicing Self-Care

We hope that this list will inspire you to engage in self-care that is
the right ﬁt for what you need. Remember that whatever works for
you is the “right” way.
Research shows that 70% of sexual assault survivors experience moderate to
severe distress, which is a larger percentage than for any other violent crime.
(NSVRC, 2015)

The Callisto Survivor’s Guide
Self-Care
Talking about, or even thinking about, your traumatic

Find new positive experiences.

experience can be emotionally draining. Because it is diﬃcult

Research shows that people ﬁnd greater happiness from

to predict how you might feel on any given day, you might

positive activities and experiences, rather than physical things.

want to consider building a regular plan for self-care. Ideas

Examples include massage, acupuncture, live music, theater,

include going for a run, visiting a museum, taking a relaxing

museums, volunteering for a cause you that you ﬁnd

bath, or spending time with a close friend. Below are some

meaningful, day trips with loved ones, and exploring intimacy

self-care tips to consider.

with a partner.

Engage in physical movement.

Take care of the basics.

Run. Walk. Bike. Climb. Swim. Take a dance or martial arts

Establish a sleep routine. Eat to nourish your body. Take time

class. Enjoy the sensation of your physical body in a positive

to bathe and groom yourself. Visit healthcare providers.

way through movement.
MORE RESOURCES

Care for your mind.

AFROPUNK: 8 Mental Health and Self-Care Resources for Queer and Trans POC

Meditate. Download a mindfulness app or podcast. Attend a

Greatist: 67 Resources for Sexual Assault Survivors

spiritual or guided meditation service. Play soothing music

Healthline: Best Meditation Apps of 2018

while you breathe deep and relax. Engage in active

Just Jasmine: Self-Care for People of Color After Psychological Trauma

mindfulness through activities such as art, crafting, cooking, or

National Sexual Violence Resource Center: Information for Survivors

organizing.

Option B: How to Support a Friend After Sexual Assault
Psychology Today: The Preference for Experiences Over Possessions
RAINN: Self-Care After Trauma
Rockwood Leadership Institute: 21 Self-Care Resources

Take care of yourself.

Teen Vogue: 6 Self-Care Tips for Sexual Assault Survivors

The Callisto Survivor’s Guide

Rape, sexual assault, and sexual coercion can have lasting eﬀects
on your mental health. That is because these are serious violations
of your body and trust—and not because you are not strong. As a
survivor, you might develop symptoms of post-traumatic stress
disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety, or insomnia after an incident.
You might struggle with feelings of shame, guilt, or inadequacy.

Getting Emotional Help

1v. Getting Emotional Help

None of these responses to trauma make you a weak person, and
there are many resources to help you feel better.
“I thought it was normal. I thought I probably brought it on myself. I thought no
one would care. I thought it probably didn't matter anyway. I thought I wasn't
important enough to bother. I thought I was alone.” - Anonymous Survivor

The Callisto Survivor’s Guide

FINDING A THERAPIST

Psychotherapy

Psychiatry

Psychotherapists help us navigate through diﬃcult times of

Psychiatrists are trained medical doctors, and have the ability

our lives, ﬁnd new meaning in trauma, and teach us helpful

to prescribe medication. Your therapist might refer you to a

coping skills. Psychotherapists usually hold degrees in

psychiatrist if they believe that psychiatric medication would

counseling, social work, or psychology. It is helpful to search

help you feel better.

for a trauma-informed therapist, as they specialize in treating
survivors.
Finding a psychotherapist can seem like a big undertaking,
but it doesn’t have to be. Psychology Today and
GoodTherapy.org, for example, have therapist search engines
that allow you to search by specialty, insurance, or by the kind
of treatment they oﬀer. Once you have found a couple of
therapists that accept your insurance, oﬀer a sliding-scale fee,
and have a history of working with trauma patients, give them
a call to set up an initial consultation. This will allow you to
ﬁgure out whether you and the psychotherapist will work well

Online or Text-Based Therapy
If in-person therapy is not for you, you can speak to someone
online from the comfort of your own home.
• Crisis Text Line. Crisis Text Line is a free crisis texting service
staﬀed by trained volunteers. You can text 741741 from
anywhere in the U.S. to be matched with a volunteer.
• BetterHelp. BetterHelp oﬀers aﬀordable, private online
counseling.

together. It's okay if it takes a while to ﬁnd a therapist that is
the right ﬁt for you.

• TalkSpace. TalkSpace oﬀers online therapy with a licensed
therapist.

A Note About Treatments
Some psychotherapeutic treatments, including EMDR (eye movement
desensitization and reprocessing), PE (prolonged exposure), and CBT (cognitive
behavioral therapy), have been found to be highly eﬀective on trauma survivors.
When looking for a therapist, ask them if they oﬀer these treatments. Do not be
discouraged if they don’t—they might still be able to help you.

• 911. If you are in danger or suicidal, please call 911.

The Callisto Survivor’s Guide
Talking to Loved Ones
You own your story. Only you can decide if it is the right time in your journey to talk about your
experience with loved ones. If you choose not to talk about it, that is okay too. There is never pressure
to come forward if you do not feel ready.
Time & Location
Preparation
If you are feeling nervous, you might want to
consider writing down what you want to say
beforehand. That way, if you lose your train of
thought, get emotional, or have a diﬃcult time
ﬁnishing, you can rely on your notes. It can also
help to tell your loved ones what your
expectations are of them, so they can prepare
themselves. For example, you might want to
open with, “I would like to share something that
happened to me with you. It won’t be easy for
me to talk about, and it might not be easy for you
to hear. I only ask that you listen, and be patient
with me.” After the conversation, try to ﬁnd time
to practice self-care.

If you have decided to tell the people you love what
happened to you, the timing and location of the conversation
can be important. For example, it can help to have the
conversation when none of the parties involved are in a hurry
—so avoid morning rush hours, or when you or your loved one
have an immediate commitment. It can also help to have the
conversation in a quiet place you ﬁnd safe.
Sometimes, even when we say and do all the right things,
these conversations might not go well. Our loved ones might
be afraid, angry, or triggered themselves, and act in ways that
make you feel unsupported. To prepare for these diﬃcult
moments, you might want to consider picking a place you can
leave comfortably if you need to remove yourself from the
conversation. That way, if the conversation does not go the
way you hoped, you can say, “thank you so much for listening.
I’m going to need some time for myself now.”
10

The Callisto Survivor’s Guide

More Resources

“You’re not a victim for sharing
your story. You are a survivor

BetterHelp
Crisis Text Line
Department of Veterans Aﬀairs: Trauma Treatments

setting the world on fire with

GoodTherapy
Job Accommodations Network (JAN)
National Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network
Psychology Today: Find a Therapist
RAINN: How Therapy Can Help
RAINN: Tips for Talking with Survivors of Sexual Assault

your truth. You never know who
needs your light, your warmth

TalkSpace
Therapy for Black Girls

and raging courage.”
- Alex Elle

Your Jounrey. Your Choice.
11

The Callisto Survivor’s Guide

Your story matters. It belongs only to you. Please know that there
is no pressure to talk about or report your story unless or until the
time is right for you. If you never choose to report, that is okay too.
In this section, we share ways to take care of yourself during the

Reporting the Incident

v. Reporting the Incident

reporting process. If you choose to report the incident to the police
in the immediate aftermath, some of the tips in this guide might
not apply to you.
“Reporting sexual misconduct can be incredibly difficult, so [Callisto] offers a
less intimidating option to those who may not be ready or willing to have a faceto-face conversation yet.” -Anonymous Respondent to Callisto Student Survey

The Callisto Survivor’s Guide
Document Your Experience
If you do not feel it is the right time to go to law enforcement, you
may choose instead to capture sensitive and private details of the

Know Your Rights
and Your Constraints
As a survivor of rape or sexual assault, you have
certain rights under the laws of your state. Check
with a local justice center or your local bar
association to get information on their legal aid
support to better understand your local rights.
In some states, there are laws that prevent you
from bringing legal action after a certain number
of years have passed. You can ﬁnd information
on states’ statutes of limitations for assault and
for sexual harassment or coercion.

event in other ways, such as writing, video, and photos. Keep your
documentation in a very safe place so that you are in control of
when and how these details are shared and so that you can
continue to own your story.
• Document communications. Document messages, chats, emails,
or screenshots that can support your case.
• Capture what happened in writing, with details about the incident
as well as what happened before and after. Include dates, exact
location, names of other people present, and who you talked to.
Include the date of when you created these notes.
• Take photographs. If your perpetrator left physical marks on your
body—bruises, strangulation marks, bite marks, etc.—take photos.
• Share your notes and other documentation with a person of trust,
such as a therapist or attorney, or put them into a vault under the
care of a third party. They will be used if and when you are ready to
come forward.
.
13

The Callisto Survivor’s Guide

Report As Soon As Possible
(If You Are Ready)
If the assault just happened and you are ready to
report, please call 911 or go to the nearest

A Note About Forensic Exams

emergency room. Medical professionals will be
able to do a full medical examination to check

While preserving forensic evidence of the crime

for any physical harm. They will also be able to

can be important to building a case against your

conduct a forensic exam (also known as a rape

assailant, these exams can be diﬃcult

kit). The exam will allow samples of the

experiences. Survivors have described forensic

perpetrator’s DNA (hair, semen, blood) to be

exams as retraumatizing and intrusive. If you can,

saved. These samples can be used as evidence if

please consider asking a friend to take you to the

you decide to press charges.

hospital and home afterwards so you feel more
comfortable.

A lot of survivors think—or are told—that it is
impossible to conduct a forensic exam if you
have already showered and/or changed your
clothes. In fact, medical professionals can ﬁnd

Your Journey. Your Choice.

physical evidence of the assault up to 72 hours
afterwards. If you have already showered, please
do not be discouraged, and call 911.
14

The Callisto Survivor’s Guide
Prepare for an Interview with Law Enforcement
Preparing for the Interview

Make It as Comfortable as Possible

• Get to know your detective. Call the police station ahead of

• Bring a friend. Ask someone you trust to walk you to and

time to schedule your interview. Once a detective is assigned

from the police station. They can wait in the lobby or waiting

to your case, take a few moments to email or call them to iron

area while you talk to the detectives, and make sure that you

out the details of your day at the station. Having a

are taken care of afterwards.

recognizable face or voice in the room can humanize the
experience.

• Bring a bottle of water or a snack. A big bottle of water or
some food will not only quench your thirst and give you

• If you know other survivors, ask them if they would be willing

energy, but will also give you a something to hold in your

to share their experience in how best to prepare. Each

hands.

individual situation is diﬀerent, and you know your own case
best. But it can be helpful to learn from survivors who have

• Ask to take a break at any time that you need one.

already gone through the reporting process—even if it is only
for words of encouragement.

• It is okay to say the words "I don't recall" if you can not
remember something.

• It’s okay to ask for help. No one should have to go through
this alone. There are survivors and allies all around you.

• Investigators usually have a list of questions that they ask

Conﬁde in someone you trust, ask them to accompany you to

everyone, and some may not be relevant to your situation.

the police station, and know that you are not alone.
• If you can, take the day oﬀ to take care of yourself.
15

The Callisto Survivor’s Guide
After Reporting
Have a Plan
Particularly for the days following your trip to the police

MORE RESOURCES

station, it is helpful to have a plan. If you can, schedule your
interview toward the end of the week, so you can spend the
weekend doing relaxing things that make you happy—be they
spending time with loved ones, going on a long hike with a

BetterBrave: State Statues of Limitations

trusted friend, or watching your favorite movies. Give yourself

National Women’s Law Center

something special to look forward to.

RAINN: Reporting to Law Enforcement

Practice Self-Care

RAINN: State Statute of Limitations for Assault

Self-care looks diﬀerent for everyone. You can ﬁnd some

RISE: Sexual Assault/Abuse Survivors

popular recommendations for self-care in this guide.

The National Center for Victims of Crime

Follow Up with Law Enforcement
Detectives often work on many cases at a time. Make sure
your case does not fall through the cracks by checking in with
the law enforcement oﬃcer assigned to your case.

The Callisto Survivor’s Guide

If you have experienced sexual coercion in a professional setting,
you may feel overwhelmed. Many people do not share or report
these incidents because they have no idea where to begin. Please
know that your experience is valid and that there are resources to
help you move forward in navigating professional sexual coercion.

75% of employee sexual harassment claims include retaliation claims.

Navigating Professional Sexual Coercion

v1. Navigating Professional Sexual Coercion

Men are 27% less likely to report than women. (Source: EEOC)

The Callisto Survivor’s Guide
Navigating Professional Coercion
Before You Go to Human Resources, Document Everything
• Read your company’s employee handbook and familiarize
yourself with your company’s policies on sexual harassment/
coercion, how to report, and what is to be expected after you
report.
• Save a written record of every interaction, with dates, times,

IDENTIFY YOUR WISHES TO MAKE THE BEHAVIOR STOP

• It may feel very hard or scary to confront
someone, especially if they are in a position of
power. If you are able, let the person know that
their behavior makes you uncomfortable.
• Be ﬁrm and speciﬁc. Never apologize.
• Document this interaction.

and all important details.
• Include notes about conversations you have had with others
about the incidents.
• Print emails.
• Take screenshots of messages or images and backup your

“I thought it was normal. I thought I
probably brought it on myself. I thought no

phone.

one would care. I thought it probably didn't

• Save copies of emails or texts that you have sent to others

matter anyway. I thought I wasn't important

about the incidents.
• Use a personal email address and computer, rather than a
work computer. Keep all your notes in a place that is secure.

enough to bother. I thought I was alone.” Anonymous Survivor

This will enable you to be in control of the timing and manner
in which you share this information.

The Callisto Survivor’s Guide

71% of workplace
harassment incidents go
unreported.
(Source: BetterBrave)

Consider a Free Consultation from an Employment Lawyer

Retaliation is Illegal

• You can seek consultation no matter where the behavior

• There are laws that protect you from retaliation for reporting.

falls on the spectrum of sexual misconduct, even if you do not
think it is severe.

• If you are abused, threatened, reprimanded, punished, or
held back in any way in any way for reporting your incident,

• All conversations are protected by attorney-client privilege.

you should immediately document the retaliation and contact
an employment attorney.

• The lawyer will listen to your story and inform you of your
rights and the best way to proceed with your employer.

MORE RESOURCES
BetterBrave
Equal Opportunity Employment Commission
Equal Rights Advocates
Lean In: Dealing with Sexual Harassment

The Callisto Survivor’s Guide

Callisto is a non-proﬁt organization that creates technology to
combat sexual assault and coercion. If you have experienced
sexual assault or professional sexual coercion, you can create an
entry of your incident in Callisto. Your entry will never be seen by
anyone, including Callisto, unless another person names the same
perpetrator. If there is a match, you will be connected to a

How Callisto Can Help

v11. How Callisto Can Help

Legal Options Counselor who will safely and privately help you
navigate all of your options to take action.

Callisto users are six times more likely to report and three times more likely to
seek emotional and medical support. Since 2015, Callisto has identified serial
perpetrators in 10% of matching records. In school year 2017-2018, 15% of
records entered into the matching system were matched.

The Callisto Survivor’s Guide
HOW CALLISTO CAN HELP

Using Callisto is an easy and safe
way to feel empowered after
experiencing rape, sexual assault,

Here's how it works:
• Once you have activated your account, you can create an entry
that documents your experience of sexual misconduct. You will
be asked to name your perpetrator, including their unique
identiﬁers (such as social media URLs, phone numbers, and
emails) so that we can detect a match.

or professional sexual coercion.

• All of the information is encrypted and secure.

We help you find the right options

• If someone else names the same perpetrator, a match will be
identiﬁed and your entry information will then be shared with a
Callisto Legal Options Counselor. The Legal Options Counselor
will then reach out to you by your preferred contact method.

to take action in a way that feels
best for you.

Protecting your community.

• A Legal Options Counselor is an attorney, vetted by Callisto, who
will advise you of your rights and will help you navigate your
options for taking action. All conversations with the Legal Options
Counselor are protected under attorney-client privilege, so you
can ensure your privacy is protected.

The Callisto Survivor’s Guide
HOW CALLISTO CAN HELP

Callisto Has Considered:
Your privacy is crucial.

Designed for survivors, by survivors.

You have agency over your experience.

We collaborate with thought-leaders

Callisto team members understand the

There is no one “right” path for you to

and experts in cryptography to develop

experiences of sexual assault and

take, and our Legal Options Counselors

a system that allows for complete

professional sexual coercion. Our

are here to help you ﬁnd the best one

privacy from end to end.

trauma-informed platform relies on

for you. Options may include taking no

input from experts in law and

action for now, connecting with the

Survivors Guide

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