Survivors Guide

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The Callisto Survivor’s Guide
We believe you.
Information and resources for survivors of sexual assault, rape, and
professional sexual coercion.
For more information about Callisto, please go to projectcallisto.org
Welcome
The Callisto Survivor’s Guide
Before you begin, please know that you are not alone. We have created
this guide to share information and resources for survivors of sexual
assault, rape, and sexual coercion. We hope that you find it helpful.
We know that this time in your life can be very stressful and that much of
the language here may be triggering or upsetting. However, we also
hope that you find this guide to be empowering and uplifting. It is written
by fellow survivors to remind you that you are surrounded by a
community of caring individuals, and that there are many resources
available to help you on your journey.
1. Welcome. We believe you.
We are stronger. Together.
Table of Contents
Welcome
Understanding the Langauge
Practicing Self-Care
Getting Emotional Help
Reporting the Incident
Navigating Professional Sexual Coercion
How Callisto Can Help
Understanding the Language
As a survivor navigating your options to take action, you may be
learning a whole new language of law, policy, and psychology. In
this section, we will walk you through the most important terms
related to rape, sexual assault, and sexual coercion.
Before we begin, we want to stress two things. First, anyone—no
matter their sex, gender, age, race—can be the victim of rape,
sexual assault, and sexual coercion. Second, rape, sexual assault,
and sexual coercion are inexcusable. They are never, ever the fault
of the victim.
Warning: The following pages contain triggering and graphic
definitions. Please feel free to skip this section altogether or come
back at a later time.
11. Understanding the Language
2
The Callisto Survivor’s Guide
UNDERSTANDING THE LANGUAGE
Consent:
The legal definition of consent differs from state to state. In
general, consent is an active, verbal agreement to engage in
sexual activity with someone. Sexual activity without your
consent is rape or sexual assault. If you are underage, under
the influence of alcohol or other drugs, or sleeping, you do
not have the capacity to give consent. If someone pressures,
tricks, or emotionally forces you to agree to sexual activity,
this is considered sexual coercion.
• Visit RAINN to find the legal definition of consent in your state.
• Visit The Survivor Alliance to find the legal age of consent in your state.
De!nitions to Know
HEAR FROM AN EXPERT
“Consent is the ability to choose, based
on your own internal experience, what
you want physically, emotionally,
mentally, spiritually, and sexually, and
then to communicate those wants.”
- Staci Haines, from the Survivor’s Guide to Sex
Sexual Coercion:
Any person of any sex, gender, age, and race can be a victim
of sexual coercion. Sexual coercion means pressuring,
tricking, threatening, or non-physically forcing someone into
any sexual activity. This can also be in the form of requesting
sexual activity in exchange for a professional or financial
benefit. You do not owe anyone sex—not your investors,
bosses, mentors, teachers, or anyone who does or does not
have any power over you.
• Visit the Office of Women’s Health to read the legal definition of sexual coercion.
• Visit RAINN to find the legal definition of sexual coercion according to your state.
3
The Callisto Survivor’s Guide
These pages contain general definitions of sexual
assault, sexual harassment, sexual coercion, and rape.
Please see the links for state-specific information.
UNDERSTANDING THE LANGUAGE
De!nitions to Know
HEARING FROM SURVIVORS
4
Rape:
Any person of any sex, gender, age, and race can be a victim
of rape—including spouses and long-term partners. When
someone penetrates your vagina or anus with any object or
body part, or your mouth with their sex organ, without your
consent, it is rape. Please know that consent to one sexual act
does not imply consent to another sexual act. There can be
rape even if the victim consented to certain sexual acts.
• Visit the Department of Justice to read the general legal definition of rape.
• Visit RAINN to find the legal definition of rape according to your state.
Sexual Assault:
Any person of any sex, gender, age, and race can be a victim
of sexual assault—including spouses and long-term partners.
Any sexual activity that you did not consent to is sexual
assault. While sexual assault and rape are sometimes used
interchangeably, sexual assault also refers to non-penetrative
sexual activity, including fondling and molestation.
• Visit the Department of Justice to read the legal definition of sexual assault.
• Visit RAINN to find the legal definition of sexual assault according to your state.
Sexual Harassment:
Any person of any sex, gender, age, and race can be a victim
of sexual harassment. Sexual harassment creates a hostile
work environment and is illegal. Sexual harassment includes
any unwanted verbal or physical sexual behavior in the
workplace. This can range from sexual comments about a
person’s clothing, anatomy, or looks, to very serious acts that
qualify as assault or rape. Sexual harassment is about the
impact of the behavior on you, and the severity and frequency
of the incidents. It is not about the intent of the person who is
engaging in the behavior.
• Visit the EEOC to read the legal definition of sexual harassment.
• Visit RAINN to find the legal definition of sexual harassment according to your
state.
These pages contain general definitions of sexual
assault, sexual harassment, sexual coercion, and rape.
Please see the links for state-specific information.
The Callisto Survivor’s Guide
If you experienced an event
that was traumatizing, or just
didn't feel right, and you are
not able to define it, you can
talk to an attorney to help you
understand the legal aspects
of what happened. Check with
a local justice center or your
local bar association to get
information on their legal aid
support.
American Bar Association Directory
BetterBrave
Department of Justice: Legal Definition of Rape
Department of Justice: Legal Definition of Sexual Assault
EEOC: Legal Definition of Sexual Harassment
Legal Age of Consent by State
National Employment Lawyers Association
National Women’s Law Center
Office of Women’s Health: Legal Definition of Sexual Coercion
RAINN: Definition of Consent by State
RAINN: Legal Definition of Rape and Assault by State
RAINN: State Law Database
UNDERSTANDING THE LANGUAGE
HEARING FROM SURVIVORS
5
More Resources
The Callisto Survivor’s Guide
6
Sometimes the pressure to engage in self-care after a traumatic
experience can create even more stress. You may wonder if you
are doing it correctly or you may feel a need to demonstrate your
strength and resilience to others.
We hope that this list will inspire you to engage in self-care that is
the right fit for what you need. Remember that whatever works for
you is the “right” way.
111. Practicing Self-Care
Practicing Self-Care
The Callisto Survivor’s Guide
Research shows that 70% of sexual assault survivors experience moderate to
severe distress, which is a larger percentage than for any other violent crime.
(NSVRC, 2015)
7
Talking about, or even thinking about, your traumatic
experience can be emotionally draining. Because it is difficult
to predict how you might feel on any given day, you might
want to consider building a regular plan for self-care. Ideas
include going for a run, visiting a museum, taking a relaxing
bath, or spending time with a close friend. Below are some
self-care tips to consider.
Engage in physical movement.
Run. Walk. Bike. Climb. Swim. Take a dance or martial arts
class. Enjoy the sensation of your physical body in a positive
way through movement.
Care for your mind.
Meditate. Download a mindfulness app or podcast. Attend a
spiritual or guided meditation service. Play soothing music
while you breathe deep and relax. Engage in active
mindfulness through activities such as art, crafting, cooking, or
organizing.
Find new positive experiences.
Research shows that people find greater happiness from
positive activities and experiences, rather than physical things.
Examples include massage, acupuncture, live music, theater,
museums, volunteering for a cause you that you find
meaningful, day trips with loved ones, and exploring intimacy
with a partner.
Take care of the basics.
Establish a sleep routine. Eat to nourish your body. Take time
to bathe and groom yourself. Visit healthcare providers.
Self-Care
Take care of yourself.
MORE RESOURCES
AFROPUNK: 8 Mental Health and Self-Care Resources for Queer and Trans POC
Greatist: 67 Resources for Sexual Assault Survivors
Healthline: Best Meditation Apps of 2018
Just Jasmine: Self-Care for People of Color After Psychological Trauma
National Sexual Violence Resource Center: Information for Survivors
Option B: How to Support a Friend After Sexual Assault
Psychology Today: The Preference for Experiences Over Possessions
RAINN: Self-Care After Trauma
Rockwood Leadership Institute: 21 Self-Care Resources
Teen Vogue: 6 Self-Care Tips for Sexual Assault Survivors
The Callisto Survivor’s Guide
8
Rape, sexual assault, and sexual coercion can have lasting effects
on your mental health. That is because these are serious violations
of your body and trust—and not because you are not strong. As a
survivor, you might develop symptoms of post-traumatic stress
disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety, or insomnia after an incident.
You might struggle with feelings of shame, guilt, or inadequacy.
None of these responses to trauma make you a weak person, and
there are many resources to help you feel better.
1v. Getting Emotional Help
Getting Emotional Help
The Callisto Survivor’s Guide
“I thought it was normal. I thought I probably brought it on myself. I thought no
one would care. I thought it probably didn't matter anyway. I thought I wasn't
important enough to bother. I thought I was alone.” - Anonymous Survivor
9
Psychotherapy
Psychotherapists help us navigate through difficult times of
our lives, find new meaning in trauma, and teach us helpful
coping skills. Psychotherapists usually hold degrees in
counseling, social work, or psychology. It is helpful to search
for a trauma-informed therapist, as they specialize in treating
survivors.
Finding a psychotherapist can seem like a big undertaking,
but it doesn’t have to be. Psychology Today and
GoodTherapy.org, for example, have therapist search engines
that allow you to search by specialty, insurance, or by the kind
of treatment they offer. Once you have found a couple of
therapists that accept your insurance, offer a sliding-scale fee,
and have a history of working with trauma patients, give them
a call to set up an initial consultation. This will allow you to
figure out whether you and the psychotherapist will work well
together. It's okay if it takes a while to find a therapist that is
the right fit for you.
A Note About Treatments
Some psychotherapeutic treatments, including EMDR (eye movement
desensitization and reprocessing), PE (prolonged exposure), and CBT (cognitive
behavioral therapy), have been found to be highly effective on trauma survivors.
When looking for a therapist, ask them if they offer these treatments. Do not be
discouraged if they don’t—they might still be able to help you.
Psychiatry
Psychiatrists are trained medical doctors, and have the ability
to prescribe medication. Your therapist might refer you to a
psychiatrist if they believe that psychiatric medication would
help you feel better.
Online or Text-Based Therapy
If in-person therapy is not for you, you can speak to someone
online from the comfort of your own home.
• Crisis Text Line. Crisis Text Line is a free crisis texting service
staffed by trained volunteers. You can text 741741 from
anywhere in the U.S. to be matched with a volunteer.
• BetterHelp. BetterHelp offers affordable, private online
counseling.
• TalkSpace. TalkSpace offers online therapy with a licensed
therapist.
• 911. If you are in danger or suicidal, please call 911.
FINDING A THERAPIST
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10
Time & Location
If you have decided to tell the people you love what
happened to you, the timing and location of the conversation
can be important. For example, it can help to have the
conversation when none of the parties involved are in a hurry
—so avoid morning rush hours, or when you or your loved one
have an immediate commitment. It can also help to have the
conversation in a quiet place you find safe.
Sometimes, even when we say and do all the right things,
these conversations might not go well. Our loved ones might
be afraid, angry, or triggered themselves, and act in ways that
make you feel unsupported. To prepare for these difficult
moments, you might want to consider picking a place you can
leave comfortably if you need to remove yourself from the
conversation. That way, if the conversation does not go the
way you hoped, you can say, “thank you so much for listening.
I’m going to need some time for myself now.”
Preparation
If you are feeling nervous, you might want to
consider writing down what you want to say
beforehand. That way, if you lose your train of
thought, get emotional, or have a difficult time
finishing, you can rely on your notes. It can also
help to tell your loved ones what your
expectations are of them, so they can prepare
themselves. For example, you might want to
open with, “I would like to share something that
happened to me with you. It won’t be easy for
me to talk about, and it might not be easy for you
to hear. I only ask that you listen, and be patient
with me.” After the conversation, try to find time
to practice self-care.
You own your story. Only you can decide if it is the right time in your journey to talk about your
experience with loved ones. If you choose not to talk about it, that is okay too. There is never pressure
to come forward if you do not feel ready.
Talking to Loved Ones
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“You’re not a victim for sharing
your story. You are a survivor
setting the world on !re with
your truth. You never know who
needs your light, your warmth
and raging courage.”
- Alex Elle
More Resources
Your Jounrey. Your Choice.
BetterHelp
Crisis Text Line
Department of Veterans Affairs: Trauma Treatments
GoodTherapy
Job Accommodations Network (JAN)
National Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network
Psychology Today: Find a Therapist
RAINN: How Therapy Can Help
RAINN: Tips for Talking with Survivors of Sexual Assault
TalkSpace
Therapy for Black Girls
The Callisto Survivor’s Guide
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Your story matters. It belongs only to you. Please know that there
is no pressure to talk about or report your story unless or until the
time is right for you. If you never choose to report, that is okay too.
In this section, we share ways to take care of yourself during the
reporting process. If you choose to report the incident to the police
in the immediate aftermath, some of the tips in this guide might
not apply to you.
v. Reporting the Incident
Reporting the Incident
The Callisto Survivor’s Guide
“Reporting sexual misconduct can be incredibly di!cult, so [Callisto] o"ers a
less intimidating option to those who may not be ready or willing to have a face-
to-face conversation yet.” -Anonymous Respondent to Callisto Student Survey
13
Know Your Rights
and Your Constraints
Document Your Experience
If you do not feel it is the right time to go to law enforcement, you
may choose instead to capture sensitive and private details of the
event in other ways, such as writing, video, and photos. Keep your
documentation in a very safe place so that you are in control of
when and how these details are shared and so that you can
continue to own your story.
• Document communications. Document messages, chats, emails,
or screenshots that can support your case.
• Capture what happened in writing, with details about the incident
as well as what happened before and after. Include dates, exact
location, names of other people present, and who you talked to.
Include the date of when you created these notes.
• Take photographs. If your perpetrator left physical marks on your
body—bruises, strangulation marks, bite marks, etc.—take photos.
• Share your notes and other documentation with a person of trust,
such as a therapist or attorney, or put them into a vault under the
care of a third party. They will be used if and when you are ready to
come forward.
.
As a survivor of rape or sexual assault, you have
certain rights under the laws of your state. Check
with a local justice center or your local bar
association to get information on their legal aid
support to better understand your local rights.
In some states, there are laws that prevent you
from bringing legal action after a certain number
of years have passed. You can find information
on states’ statutes of limitations for assault and
for sexual harassment or coercion.
The Callisto Survivor’s Guide
14
Report As Soon As Possible
(If You Are Ready)
If the assault just happened and you are ready to
report, please call 911 or go to the nearest
emergency room. Medical professionals will be
able to do a full medical examination to check
for any physical harm. They will also be able to
conduct a forensic exam (also known as a rape
kit). The exam will allow samples of the
perpetrator’s DNA (hair, semen, blood) to be
saved. These samples can be used as evidence if
you decide to press charges.
A lot of survivors think—or are told—that it is
impossible to conduct a forensic exam if you
have already showered and/or changed your
clothes. In fact, medical professionals can find
physical evidence of the assault up to 72 hours
afterwards. If you have already showered, please
do not be discouraged, and call 911.
A Note About Forensic Exams
While preserving forensic evidence of the crime
can be important to building a case against your
assailant, these exams can be difficult
experiences. Survivors have described forensic
exams as retraumatizing and intrusive. If you can,
please consider asking a friend to take you to the
hospital and home afterwards so you feel more
comfortable.
Your Journey. Your Choice.
The Callisto Survivor’s Guide
15
Prepare for an Interview with Law Enforcement
Make It as Comfortable as Possible
• Bring a friend. Ask someone you trust to walk you to and
from the police station. They can wait in the lobby or waiting
area while you talk to the detectives, and make sure that you
are taken care of afterwards.
• Bring a bottle of water or a snack. A big bottle of water or
some food will not only quench your thirst and give you
energy, but will also give you a something to hold in your
hands.
• Ask to take a break at any time that you need one.
• It is okay to say the words "I don't recall" if you can not
remember something.
• Investigators usually have a list of questions that they ask
everyone, and some may not be relevant to your situation.
• If you can, take the day off to take care of yourself.
Preparing for the Interview
• Get to know your detective. Call the police station ahead of
time to schedule your interview. Once a detective is assigned
to your case, take a few moments to email or call them to iron
out the details of your day at the station. Having a
recognizable face or voice in the room can humanize the
experience.
• If you know other survivors, ask them if they would be willing
to share their experience in how best to prepare. Each
individual situation is different, and you know your own case
best. But it can be helpful to learn from survivors who have
already gone through the reporting process—even if it is only
for words of encouragement.
• It’s okay to ask for help. No one should have to go through
this alone. There are survivors and allies all around you.
Confide in someone you trust, ask them to accompany you to
the police station, and know that you are not alone.
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16
Have a Plan
Particularly for the days following your trip to the police
station, it is helpful to have a plan. If you can, schedule your
interview toward the end of the week, so you can spend the
weekend doing relaxing things that make you happy—be they
spending time with loved ones, going on a long hike with a
trusted friend, or watching your favorite movies. Give yourself
something special to look forward to.
Practice Self-Care
Self-care looks different for everyone. You can find some
popular recommendations for self-care in this guide.
Follow Up with Law Enforcement
Detectives often work on many cases at a time. Make sure
your case does not fall through the cracks by checking in with
the law enforcement officer assigned to your case.
After Reporting
MORE RESOURCES
BetterBrave: State Statues of Limitations
National Women’s Law Center
RAINN: Reporting to Law Enforcement
RAINN: State Statute of Limitations for Assault
RISE: Sexual Assault/Abuse Survivors
The National Center for Victims of Crime
The Callisto Survivor’s Guide
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If you have experienced sexual coercion in a professional setting,
you may feel overwhelmed. Many people do not share or report
these incidents because they have no idea where to begin. Please
know that your experience is valid and that there are resources to
help you move forward in navigating professional sexual coercion.
v1. Navigating Professional Sexual Coercion
75% of employee sexual harassment claims include retaliation claims.
Men are 27% less likely to report than women. (Source: EEOC)
The Callisto Survivor’s Guide
Navigating Professional Sexual Coercion
18
Navigating Professional Coercion
IDENTIFY YOUR WISHES TO MAKE THE BEHAVIOR STOP
• It may feel very hard or scary to confront
someone, especially if they are in a position of
power. If you are able, let the person know that
their behavior makes you uncomfortable.
• Be firm and specific. Never apologize.
• Document this interaction.
Before You Go to Human Resources, Document Everything
• Read your company’s employee handbook and familiarize
yourself with your company’s policies on sexual harassment/
coercion, how to report, and what is to be expected after you
report.
• Save a written record of every interaction, with dates, times,
and all important details.
• Include notes about conversations you have had with others
about the incidents.
• Print emails.
• Take screenshots of messages or images and backup your
phone.
• Save copies of emails or texts that you have sent to others
about the incidents.
• Use a personal email address and computer, rather than a
work computer. Keep all your notes in a place that is secure.
This will enable you to be in control of the timing and manner
in which you share this information.
“I thought it was normal. I thought I
probably brought it on myself. I thought no
one would care. I thought it probably didn't
matter anyway. I thought I wasn't important
enough to bother. I thought I was alone.” -
Anonymous Survivor
The Callisto Survivor’s Guide
71% of workplace
harassment incidents go
unreported.
(Source: BetterBrave)
Retaliation is Illegal
• There are laws that protect you from retaliation for reporting.
• If you are abused, threatened, reprimanded, punished, or
held back in any way in any way for reporting your incident,
you should immediately document the retaliation and contact
an employment attorney.
19
Consider a Free Consultation from an Employment Lawyer
• You can seek consultation no matter where the behavior
falls on the spectrum of sexual misconduct, even if you do not
think it is severe.
• All conversations are protected by attorney-client privilege.
• The lawyer will listen to your story and inform you of your
rights and the best way to proceed with your employer. MORE RESOURCES
BetterBrave
Equal Opportunity Employment Commission
Equal Rights Advocates
Lean In: Dealing with Sexual Harassment
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20
How Callisto Can Help
The Callisto Survivor’s Guide
v11. How Callisto Can Help
Callisto is a non-profit organization that creates technology to
combat sexual assault and coercion. If you have experienced
sexual assault or professional sexual coercion, you can create an
entry of your incident in Callisto. Your entry will never be seen by
anyone, including Callisto, unless another person names the same
perpetrator. If there is a match, you will be connected to a
Legal Options Counselor who will safely and privately help you
navigate all of your options to take action.
Callisto users are six times more likely to report and three times more likely to
seek emotional and medical support. Since 2015, Callisto has identi!ed serial
perpetrators in 10% of matching records. In school year 2017-2018, 15% of
records entered into the matching system were matched.
Protecting your community.
21
Protecting your community.
Using Callisto is an easy and safe
way to feel empowered after
experiencing rape, sexual assault,
or professional sexual coercion.
We help you !nd the right options
to take action in a way that feels
best for you.
Here's how it works:
• Once you have activated your account, you can create an entry
that documents your experience of sexual misconduct. You will
be asked to name your perpetrator, including their unique
identifiers (such as social media URLs, phone numbers, and
emails) so that we can detect a match.
• All of the information is encrypted and secure.
• If someone else names the same perpetrator, a match will be
identified and your entry information will then be shared with a
Callisto Legal Options Counselor. The Legal Options Counselor
will then reach out to you by your preferred contact method.
• A Legal Options Counselor is an attorney, vetted by Callisto, who
will advise you of your rights and will help you navigate your
options for taking action. All conversations with the Legal Options
Counselor are protected under attorney-client privilege, so you
can ensure your privacy is protected.
HOW CALLISTO CAN HELP
The Callisto Survivor’s Guide
Protecting your community.
22
HOW CALLISTO CAN HELP
Your privacy is crucial.
We collaborate with thought-leaders
and experts in cryptography to develop
a system that allows for complete
privacy from end to end.
Read more about our encryption
method on our white paper.
Designed for survivors, by survivors.
Callisto team members understand the
experiences of sexual assault and
professional sexual coercion. Our
trauma-informed platform relies on
input from experts in law and
psychology to make your experience as
comfortable as possible.
You have agency over your experience.
There is no one “right” path for you to
take, and our Legal Options Counselors
are here to help you find the best one
for you. Options may include taking no
action for now, connecting with the
other victim, confronting the
perpetrator, going to human resources,
filing legal charges, going to the press,
or other choices.
Callisto Has Considered:
SUGGEST AN INSTITUTION
The Callisto Survivor’s Guide
The Callisto Survivor’s Guide
Thank you for your continued support. If you would like to get
involved with Callisto, please go to projectcallisto.org to donate,
volunteer, or suggest an institution.
SUGGEST AN INSTITUTION
Take care of yourself.
We encourage you to print or share this guide with loved ones, peers, colleagues, and friends.
Instagram & Twitter: @callisto facebook: @callistoorg

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